Redemption of a Puck Slut: Part II

May 28, 2014

Dear Diary,

Sid and I leave for Canada tomorrow morning. Everything is packed and most of it has been shipped. The house is getting shut up for the summer, it looks kind of lonely. But when we come back in August we’ll have two little babies with us, and then this big house won’t seem so empty anymore.

Getting the results of the paternity test was harder than I thought. They did not answer all of my questions and left me more confused than before.

When I got to Brandon’s house he was anxiously waiting for me in his living room.

“I came over as fast as I could. Is that it?” I asked pointing to the unopened envelope in his hand.

“Yes, I wanted to wait for you to get here so we could open it together.”

We sat down at the kitchen table and I leaned on him as he opened the envelope. We carefully read over the results, and it was quiet for a few minutes.

“What does that mean?” I asked sitting up to look at him.

“I think it says one was a match, and one was not,” he stared at it in shock.

“So, you’re the father of one, and Sid’s the father of the other?” I was so confused. My doctor said that could happen, but I thought the chances were very low.

“So I’m going to be a dad,” Brandon said, sounding a little disappointed, but mostly sad, though I thought I saw the corner of his mouth twitch into a slight smile.

Hearing him say that, those few words I had dreaded, pushed me over the edge. I had been so stressed lately with the wedding, playoffs, the Marie/Lisa stuff, and now the paternity test, that I just broke.

I started to sob uncontrollably, so he wrapped his arms around me. I’m not sure, but I think he might have been crying too.

Eventually he picked me up and carried me to his bed and curled up next to me. I sat there in his arms crying for over an hour until I fell asleep.

There were so many thoughts running through my head, so many unanswered questions. I had not expected them to both be the father, and I was not prepared to deal with this. When I woke up Brandon was asleep with his head on my chest, and that made me start crying again.

I guess that woke him up, and he sat up and looked at me with his sad eyes.

“Why does it have to be like this?” I asked as he sat up and wrapped his arms around me.

“We’ll get through this,” he said, though I don’t think he even believed himself.

“No, don’t think I will. Before we got the results, I told myself I could not marry Sid if I knew I was having your children, but now I don’t know what to do.”

“You should still marry him.”

“You’re right, we’ve already planned most of the wedding.”

“No, I mean you should still marry him because you love him.”

“But one of my unborn babies is yours?” I turned to look at him.

“And the other one is his. You shouldn’t give all of that up just because he isn’t biologically the father of one of your children. He’s still going to love him or her more than anything.”

“But what about you?” I asked, starting to cry again.

“I don’t know,” he sighed. “I guess I’ll sign with the Flyers, if they’re still offering.”

“Philly’s not that far way, you could visit whenever Sid’s away,” I said, starting to cheer up a little. “Although, as the future wife of the Captain of the Pittsburgh Penguins, I will be obligated to hate you.” I smiled, and he started to smile, but stopped.

“I completely forgot about your wedding,” he said looking down at me. “That is, if you still want me to come.”

“Of courses I want you there, you mean so much to me. Unless you don’t want to go, I understand if you don’t want to.”

“No, of course I want to go,” he said as he leaned in to kiss me on the head.

-

Brandon was able to sign with the Flyers, who were reorganizing their first few lines, so he might have a chance to be a second line center.

I thought I would feel so much better about things once I knew the results of the paternity test, but I don’t. How will I know which one is Brandon’s and which one is Sid’s? I guess I will still have to get a paternity test after they’re born, if not I’ll go insane wondering which one is his.

This is getting too complicated.

I’m going to bed now.

Off to Canada in the morning!


Sincerely,

Emme

_____________________________________________________________________


June 2, 2014

Dear Diary,

Sid’s summer house is almost as nice as his house in Pittsburgh. It was very convenient that most of our stuff was already there when we arrived, though his parents were also there. I just wanted to go to sleep, but I didn’t want to be rude.

“Honey, you’ve gotten so big!” His mom said giving me a hug and gently patting me on the stomach.

“Thanks Trina, I already feel like Jupiter and I still have over a month to go,” I lamented.

“I can’t believe I’m going to be a grandmother so soon!” She said pulling Sid in for a hug. “You two must be so excited.”

“We are, it was unexpected, but I’m very happy,” Sid replied hugging her back.

“That’s okay, sometimes the best surprises are the most unexpected ones,” his mom said smiling.

“They sure are,” Sid replied wrapping his arm around me and smiling.

They were all so happy and blissfully excited about the twins and the wedding, but I couldn’t make myself even pretend to be happy. Not because I was tired (which I was) but because of Brandon. I couldn’t get over the fact that he was basically giving up the chance to be a father so Sid and I would be happy together.

The more I thought about it, I realized it must be because he either doesn’t want to be a dad, or because he really loves me.

I know Brandon isn’t the type to shirk from responsibility and he said he wanted kids, so it must be the second option, but I can’t think about that, not without wondering what would have happened if things were reversed. Things would be so different if I was with Brandon and not Sid, and I don’t know if they would be better or worse.

Sid, who’s arm was still wrapped around my shoulders, squeezed my gently, bringing me out of my thoughts.

“We’ll let you know if we need any more help,” he said to his parents as they left. He turned to me with a concerned look and stared into my eyes, “Are you okay Emme?”

“Yes, I’m just tired,” I replied and tried to smile.

“Why don’t you lay down for a bit, I can handle unpacking the rest of our stuff,” he said walking me to the bedroom, “If you need anything let me know.”

I fell asleep immediately, but I didn’t sleep well. I kept thinking of Brandon and the results of the paternity test.

When Sid woke me up for dinner I was somehow more tired than when I’d gone to sleep, but I smiled and told him I was feeling better.

The next day he showed me around Halifax and all of his favorite places. At least a dozen times he stopped to give autographs and take pictures with fans, and I volunteered to take the pictures because I didn’t want to be in them.

The last few days we have been unpacking and organizing things. I met with my new doctor for the first time, the one who will perform the c-section, and got another ultra sound. The twins both look healthy, and I genuinely can’t wait to get them out of me.

I met with the wedding planner today, it was nice to see her face to face for the first time. She had a lot of questions that we hadn’t been able to answer via email.

There is still a lot of stuff to do before the wedding, but we’ll get it worked out.

I think I like it up here, this summer is going to be very exciting.

(if I can stop worrying about Brandon)

Sincerely,

Emme

Notes