Redemption of a Puck Slut: Part II

May 20, 2014

Dear Diary,

The playoffs are starting to get on my nerves. They take up all of Sid’s time, because when he’s not playing or at practice, he’s mentally preparing for the next game and going over everything he did wrong and how he could have done better.

My only consolation is that the playoffs will eventually end, one way or another.

However, when they do end it won’t be over. If they lose, then I’ll have to deal with grumpy Sid, which is understandable, but still not fun.

If they win (which I hope they do) then there will be all sorts of post-win celebrations, and I just want to go home. Well, not my home, but Sid’s summer house.

And I now have one more thing to worry about.

I visited Pancake after returning from visiting my mom, and somehow fell asleep on Brandon’s couch. I guess being pregnant makes you tired.

I had really wanted to avoid him and any awkward conversations that might occur, so I made sure to visit when he wouldn’t be there.

Except I fell asleep, and he came home and found me on his couch with my cat.

“Emme,” he gently shook me awake. “Emme, wake up, are you okay?”

I groggily sat up and stared at him, and then silently cursed myself for falling asleep. “Yeah, I guess I fell asleep or something, I meant to leave like an hour ago, sorry.”

“No, it’s fine. I actually wanted to talk to you about something,” he said sitting down next to me.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, though I didn’t want to know. Anything he said might remind me of the conversation we had a few weeks ago and the feelings for him I was trying to forget.

“I know you said you didn’t want to get a paternity test because it’s invasive, but I did some research and-”

“Brandon,” I cut him off before he could make me change my mind. “I already told you, I don’t want to get one right now, it’s not safe. Once they’re born I will have it checked, but not now.’

“No, Emme it’s not like that. All they have to do is draw your blood, and they can test that.”

I was quiet for a minute. “What? How does that work?”

“There is enough of their DNA in your blood to test, so there wouldn’t be any needles in your stomach or anything,” he explained quickly before I could interrupt him again.

I thought for a minute before responding.

“I would need to get Sid’s DNA without him noticing.”

“No, you don’t need to worry about that. Just test to see if they’re mine, and if they aren’t then you know Sid’s the father,” he looked a little sad as he said those last few words. It was starting to make me sad.

“I need to think about this, and look into it some more, but that’s a good idea.” I smiled, and I knew I would fall apart again soon if I stayed at his house any longer. “I should get going, Sid’s probably waiting for me at home.”

Once Sid left the next day I googled what Brandon said about the paternity test, and he was right. All they would need to do is draw my blood and there would be enough of the babies’ cells in my blood for a paternity test.

Now there is only one reason why I don’t want to do this:

I am terrified of finding out the results. I can’t marry Sid knowing I’m having Brandon’s children.

But at the same time, I can’t not know.

Sincerely,

Emme

_____________________________________________________________________


May 25, 2014

Dear Diary,

I think I might have jinxed the Pens in my last diary entry by wishing they playoffs would end, because the Pens just lost game six last night and they will not being advancing to the finals. : (

But they made it pretty far, so that’s good.

So many interesting things have happened, besides the Pens losing.

Last week, on Wednesday, Brandon and I went to the doctor to get a paternity test. I didn’t go to my normal doctor, because I didn’t want anyone to know. We used the pseudonyms Mary and John Smith, though I think a few people might have known who we were.

It really was just as simple as Brandon (and the Wikipedia article I read) had described. They drew my blood and that was it; much easier than I thought it would be.

Now we just have to wait.

-

The Pens have decided not to renew Brandon’s contract, and I think he was relieved. (And so was I). I didn’t want to admit it to him, but I’m glad he’s leaving. He looks so sad all the time, like a lost puppy, and it’s making me depressed.

He wants to wait for the results of the paternity test before signing with a new team. If he’s the father, he’ll sign with the Flyers (who have made an excellent offer) and if he’s not, he wants to get as far away from Pittsburgh as possible. San Jose and the Coyotes are interested in him, and some other team in Canada (Vancouver maybe?).

Either way, he’s leaving. We should hear the results in a few days, and then Brandon will decide which team to play for.

-

Sid wants to leave Pittsburgh as soon as possible. He has been packing anything we might need this summer in Nova Scotia and has already started shipping stuff.

I’m getting worried that we’re going to leave before the results come in. They’re being shipped to Brandon’s, but I’d really like to go through all of that with him.

I talked with Caeleigh about it a few days ago. She’s living with Geno now, so I visited her when the guys were on their last road trip.

Geno’s house is nice. As she was giving me a tour, I could tell which things were hers and how she was leaving her flair on Geno’s bachelor pad.

We baked cupcakes in his huge kitchen, and she showed off all the cool kitchen gadgets he’d gotten her, like her stand mixer. I have one too, but I didn’t say anything because she seemed so proud of it.

“I decided to get a paternity test,” I randomly blurted out when she stopped talking long enough for me to talk.

“What? I thought you said it was dangerous?” She asked.

“It turns out it’s not, they just had to draw my blood.”

“Wait, you already did it? What made you change your mind?”

“Brandon talked me into it; he said he wants to know before signing with a new team.”

“Oh,” she replied, “That’s kind of sad.”

“I know. It hurts me to see him this way, but I think things will be better once we get the results.”

“And what are you going to do if they’re his?”

“I don’t know,” I replied shaking my head. “I can’t leave Sid, especially not that we’ve started planning our wedding.”

“Are you going to tell Sid if they aren’t his?”

“I feel like I should, but I have no idea how he would react to that. I mean, we’re engaged now, and we’ll be getting married in a few months.” I thought about it for a moment. “Or he won’t care.”

“He probably would. Geno would be so mad if I told him I was pregnant with another man’s child. Or children. He’d probably kill the other guy.”

“That’s because he’s an angry Russian bear,” I teased her.

She hit my arm lightly, “that’s not funny.”

“What? It’s a compliment,” I smiled. “Besides, why would you be pregnant with someone else’s child?”

“It’s just hypothetical. It’s not like I’m pregnant or anything.”

“Who, in this hypothetical situation, would you have been knocked up by?” I asked, knowing it was making her mad.

“I don’t know.”

“What if it was Sid? Geno wouldn’t kill Sid.”

“Why would I even be having sex with Sid?” She asked.

I laughed, “I’m just kidding, I know you wouldn’t. Okay, what about Neal?”

She paused like she was actually considering it, “No, and that would be worse because they’re friends. Why do you think this is funny?”

I sighed, “I don’t really; it’s just funny to think about this happening to someone other than me.”

We stopped bickering and finished making cupcakes, which were delicious.

-

Now I have to wait for the results, and continue packing.

At least I have something to distract me from waiting for results.

This is really hard.

I don’t like this.



Sincerely,

Emme

Notes