One Year Earlier

“Emma.” The blonde stopped dead in her tracks as she entered the room, a few of her friends and James’s friends standing around, smiles on their faces. “We’ve been going out for a long time, and you know how much I love you.” James was shaking as he knelt down on one knee and looked up at the blonde, her large blue eyes staring at him, her head slightly shaking back and forth out of disbelief.

“James, please.” She said quickly in a hushed whisper. Her eyes traced along the people in the room and landed on one man standing almost directly behind James. He winked at her, making her tan skin grow pale.

“No Emma, I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” James shoved his right hand into his pants pocket and pulled out the little black velvet box. Flipping it open, he looked up at the blonde and smiled. Butterflies were beating against the walls of his stomach. He wanted to throw up from the nerves, but swallowed his emotions and went on. “Will you-”

Emma’s hand reached forward and quickly shut the box, dropping it back into James’ hand. “No”, she said quickly, shaking her head. “James, no, I can’t.” She took a step back from the devastated brunette, locking her eyes onto the blonde behind him.

James stood there, in shock for a few minutes, watching Emma’s bright red face in front of him. She spoke quickly, asking almost begging everyone to go into the other room for a moment. Once they were gone, except for the blonde boy, she kneeled down to James and put her hand on his face. He quickly pushed it away.

“Why would you do this?” James whispered, finally standing up, throwing the expensive black box onto the couch. He was in shock. His heartbeat was slow, his mind was trying to process what was going on, and his limbs were shaking.

“I don’t..” The blonde took a deep breath, rolled her eyes, and tilted her head back. “I don’t love you, James.” She watched the brunette stand there, a fire lighting in his piercing blue eyes. “I.. I’ve been-”

“She’s been with me”, the blonde finally spoke up, walking through the room and behind the girl. “I’m sorry man, I told her to tell you earlier but-”

James pulled his arm back and launched his fist into the blondes face, sending him stumbling backwards against the wall. “You were banging my fucking girlfriend this whole time”, he screamed, taking a step closer to the boy in pain on the floor. James wanted to pick him up and punch him again, over and over until his friends face hurt as much as his own heart. “I trusted you”, James went to grab him again when the thin blonde girl pushed him away.

“Enough James!” Emma knelt down to the boy and brushed his hair out of his face. “Sorry Brett.”

“Is this a fucking joke!” James screamed. “You’ve been sleeping with my best friend. For how long?”

“Just-”

“No. Do not fucking lie to me, Emma. You just embarrassed me in front of every single friend I had here. You are not lying to me anymore. Tell me what the fuck has been going on, and tell me right now.” His heart was pounding, his eyes were glassy and the blood rushing through his veins was steaming hot, making his whole body temperature rise several degrees.

The blonde faltered, and then stood up so she was eye to eye with James. “A year.” Emma sucked in a breath and helped Brett off of the floor. “You were away so many fucking times, I just couldn’t handle it. I was lonely, I needed someone. Brett was always there for me, he made me feel good. I needed someone to love me James, not to love me whenever they had time for me.”

James wanted to scream. He wanted to call her every offensive name he could think of. He wanted to scream and scream until his throat was dry. He wanted to make her feel horrible. He wanted to plunge his hand into her chest and tear out her beating heart, like she had just done to him. But he didn’t do any o that. Instead he just stood there, watching the blonde couple move from in front of him and into the room filled with all of his friends. All of his friends that were gathered for his going away party, and for the celebration of their engagement.

A few weeks ago, James was traded to the Pittsburgh Penguins, and after seeing how devastated Emma seemed, he knew there was one way to fix this. One way to show her that he would never leave her. A true sign of love. A ring, an engagement ring.

“James, we are going to leave”, Emma whispered walking up to him, the blonde still rubbing his jaw following her. “I’m really sorry about this whole... misunderstanding. I was going to tell you. I was, but... I’m sorry it had to end this way. I hope you have a good life in Pittsburgh, James. You deserve-”

“Fuck you, Emma” James whispered and turned away from them, ignoring the group of people in the kitchen, and heading right to his room. He didn’t want to see anyone, he wanted to pack up his things, and catch the earliest flight to Pittsburgh. He wanted out of this nightmare as soon as physically possible.

Two days later James was on a flight to Pittsburgh.

The brunette took a deep breath as he looked around the plane, his glass of vodka in his left hand. The woman next to him had finally fallen asleep. For the past hour she had been talking his ear off, all about herself, her modeling career, and how wonderful it was to be sitting next to someone as good looking as him. How muscular and strong he looked.

It made James want to scream. All of the shit she was talking literally made him want to jump out of the plane. He had heard it all before, he had been sucked into girls like this, through words like this all before. And he knew what it was now.

Shit.

It had always been a bunch of shit. Every word that came from a girl like her was shit. All she wanted was whatever was in his wallet, or in his pants. The five seconds of fame for sleeping with a pro hockey player. They didn’t want him for his heart or his personality. They wanted him for his money and career.

That was over.

After so many failed relationships, James had enough. It wasn’t the female population, it was the kind of females that he went after. Model type girls, super pretty girly girls, high maintenance, lying, deceiving, cheating, whores.

It was all useless. He wasn’t a normal man. He didn’t want a quickie, a one night stand, or a casual fuck buddy. He wanted a beautiful girl that was sweet and had a nice personality and wanted a relationship. He wanted a stable relationship. A girl he could come home to. A girl that would hang around no matter how long he was away on a road trip. A girl that loved him for him.

But there was no such thing.

So James took himself off the market. He didn’t need a girlfriend. He didn’t need a girl period.

He had hockey, that’s all he needed to focus on. He was heading to a new city, with a new team. A team that was one of the best in the NHL almost every year. He had a real chance there, and he wasn’t going to let himself fail.

He stuck to it. James did not go out to parties, or clubs. He didn’t go on blind dates. There was no reasoning with him, no bribing him. Pretty girls he once chased had no effect on him. He was desensitized to their figure and charm. Sex barely crossed his mind. Love was meaningless.

James Neal promised himself he would never fall for another girl again.

[i]... but promises can be broken[/i].

Notes

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