He Doesn't Love Me
“I can’t do this.” I pushed Sid off of me and gathered my things. I buttoned up my shirt skipping a few of them and re-buttoned my jeans.
“What’s wrong?” Sidney asked.
“I don’t want to be another girl the great Sidney Crosby has fucked.” I explained before grabbing my bag off of the floor and walking out of the guest room.
“Autumn wait,” He chased after me, “You know it’s not like that with you.”
“So you’re not going to sleep with me and then pretend like nothing happened and go back to what we were before.” I snapped.
I knew Sid all too well. He’s told me the stories of some of the girls he’s slept with, I knew his game and I wasn’t going to be a part of it. I wasn’t some random girl, who just wanted to sleep with him because he’s Sidney Crosby.
“What were we before?” He asked.
“I don’t know but we sure as hell weren’t friends, unless you kiss all of your friends.” I yelled.
“Are you guys okay?” Tori yelled from upstairs.
“Yeah,” I yelled back before putting on my shoes and leaving, normally I’d slam the door shut behind me to emphasize how hurt I was but it wasn’t my house and I really don’t want an angry Geno after me.
I slammed my car door shut just as Sid ran up to it, he was still shirtless and his jeans were falling down.
“Autumn, please, talk to me.” He stood outside my car helplessly.
I sighed before rolling down my window, “What.” I spat.
“Why are you upset? I thought you wanted this.” He groaned, I could tell he was just as frustrated about this as I was.
“How blind can you be? I don’t just want to sleep with you; I want to be with you. I fucking love you Sidney! I’ve been in love with you since the day Victoria introduced me to you, and I thought maybe you felt the same way.” I blurted out and completely regretted it.
“Autumn,” he sighed, and that was enough to get the message across.
He didn’t love me.
“Just forget I ever said anything.” I turned the keys in the ignition and quickly backed out of the driveway before Sid had a chance to stop me.
“Autumn!” He called out while I drove away.
I furiously wiped away the tears as I walked through my apartment; I slammed the door signaling to Keirstyn that I was home. I walked by her bedroom on my way to mine and noticed the sock on the door handle. Great, who did she have over this time?
I ripped my drawers from my dresser and threw my clothes onto my bed, I was so mad at myself for actually getting my hopes up, I was mad at Stephanie for telling me Sid wanted to be with me, I was mad at Victoria for inviting me over to Geno’s, I was just mad at everything and everyone.
“Where are you going?” Keirstyn asked as she walked through my door, she looked at my clothes and smirked, “Sid really messed up your shirt.”
“Shut up!” I spat as I tried to keep the tears from falling. I was an emotional wreck, and I blamed Sidney for it.
“Wait are you crying?” She asked as she walked over to me. “What happened?”
“Just leave me alone.” I snapped as I began to pack my things.
I was so humiliated, I needed to get out of here, maybe go back to Canada for a week or two. How was I going to handle seeing Sid after I told him I loved him when he didn’t feel the same? How could I have been so stupid?
“Can you tell me what happened?”
“I told Sid I loved him!” I yelled as the tears began to fall, “I told him I loved him and he just stood there and sighed.”
“He doesn’t love me!” I was never the type of girl to cry over boys, usually I was the one who made them cry, but it was different with Sid.
“I’m so sorry,” Keirstyn sat on the floor and held me as I cried, “I really thought he felt the same.”
“I did too, and that was my biggest mistake.” I admitted.
“Enough of this petty crying, I need to get out of here.” I wiped away the tears and continued packing.
“Where are you going to go?” she asked.
I shrugged, “I don’t know, back home maybe.”
“You can’t just run away from your problems!” Keirstyn raised her voice.
“Just you watch me.” I snapped and continued packing not bothering to listen to watch she had to say.
I heard the front door open and footsteps running towards my room, Steph and Faith ran in and stopped as they saw the mess I had made in my room.
“Whoa.” Steph mumbled.
“What was with the 911 text? What’s the emergency?” Faith asked out of breath from running.
“Did you run from the 3rd floor?” Keirstyn asked.
They both nodded as they tried to catch their breath.
“And why is Beau in the kitchen?” Steph added.
“Beau is the guy you were fucking?” I practically yelled. I threw a pillow at her as she blushed.
Keirstyn had spent months telling us every time we teased her about Beau how it was a onetime thing, and how it meant nothing. She reassured us many times it would never happen again and that she wasn’t interested, but yet here she is a day later after seeing him again and she already slept with him.
“Who I sleep with isn’t important right now. Explain to them what happened.” Keirstyn threw the pillow back at me.
“I told Sid I loved him, and he doesn’t feel the same way.” I explained.
“That’s a lie!” Stephanie spat, “I’m going to kick his ass.”
“It’s the truth Steph, he doesn’t love me.” I sighed; it hurt to admit the truth.
“I’m going to go talk to him!” She announced before leaving the room, I didn’t have the energy to stop her nor did I care if she beat him up.
I was exhausted from today’s events and all I wanted to do was sleep so I could forget what happened for a few hours.
“I just want to sleep.” I pushed off the clothes on my bed and got under the duvet.
Keirstyn and Faith both sighed before leaving the room while whispering about how to fix this. The truth is this can’t be fixed.