You Belong Here

A few hours later, Meredith and I decided to go out and have some fun, besides it was a Saturday night and we've been working all week. Also the fact that I was $50 richer meant I was paying for drinks. It's the least I can do considering how quickly Meredith took me in. We've talked and gotten to know each other, but we needed some girl time together.

"C'mon girl hurry up!" Mere yelled from the other room.

"Okay okay I'm hurrying!" I yelled back to her.

I was putting the finishing touches on my makeup. My outfit, unlike my normal attire, was a sleek black dress with lace sleeves that I paired with black heeled boots, my trusty wristlet (I seriously don't know how i never lose it) along with my hair down and some sexy makeup. When I walked out of my room, I turned to look at Mere just exiting the bathroom wearing a tight red dress that hugged her curves perfectly. She looked stunning compared to me-I've learned to live with that. I suddenly became a little self conscious beside her.

"Alright, let's go!" She said to me. I sheepishly smiled and walked out after her, locking the door behind me.

We walked for 15 minutes or so, when we arrived at a club. The lights were so flashy I didn't even bother to look at the name. We waited in the line that wasn't surprisingly long, before making it to the front where Mere flashed her million dollar smile at the bouncer who let her walk right past him, followed by me who grabbed her hand so I wouldn't be mistaken for some random girl he wouldn't let in.

We got inside, where I handed her $25 in case we got separated so we had extra money. I turned to the bar when Mere ordered 2 shots for us. The bartender handed it to us and we shared a clink of glasses and yelled 'cheers!' I let the liquid slide down my throat before deciding to order a beer. When I got it I turned to find Mere, to realize she had gone off with some guy to dance. I swivelled my chair around to face the bar and drink my beer.

Down the line were piss drunk girls ordering shots and cosmos and whatever fruity drinks they wanted. I received some strange looks while drinking my beer, nothing new to me.

Growing up I had 2 brothers, Will and Adam who were both older than me, so I was in no way a girl for cosmos-they'd tell me how much of a girly girl I am. My mother encouraged me to be more feminine, though. After my brothers, she wanted a girl to be a ballerina and watch chick flicks. However, considering both my parents were never around when I was growing up, I took to my brother's habits-playing sports and watching shows about superheroes. My mother never supported this, so she steered clear of me and my brothers. I saw her maybe once a week, she did god knows what when she went out. My dad was usually home, but he would be passed out of the couch after drinking all night.

When I was 14, my dad came home drunk out of his mind, and ripped my assignment for school. I got mad at him and we started yelling at each other. Both my brothers were out at a party, so me and my dad were alone. I yelled back at him so he hit me. He told me if I told anyone, that he'd kill me and my brothers, so I never said a word. Every time both my brothers were out, he'd find an excuse to hit me.

When Will turned 18, he left home as soon as possible, leaving me and Adam to fend for ourselves. He told us if we ever needed anyone, he was there for us. When Adam turned 18, he left too. Leaving my 16 year old self at home. Every night turned into an all out war, between my father and I, and in my mind. He never let me see my brothers, and I became depressed. I was always our partying to drown out the thoughts of suicide in my mind. The only reason I didn't do it was because I wanted to see my brothers again.

In grade 12 I realized that if I wanted to get out of this hell hole I had to actually graduate school. I stopped partying, and started studying. The pressure I put on myself was so great that because I was so stressed out, I started self harming to relieve the pressure I felt. I met my first boyfriend, Jeremy, just before graduation. He told me his plans to move out, and so i decided to move in with him, seeing as I had no other place to go.

A few weeks ago I came across a picture of me and my brothers. I remembered them, and decided I didn't want to live like this anymore. So one night, I packed up and left. I left Jeremy a note saying I was leaving and not to look for me, but that was it. I jumped on a bus going to anywhere but where I was, and it brought me to Toronto, where I found the diner and got a fresh start.

I was just hoping it would stay this way.

Notes