All of me

‘Ready?’ Katie says as she starts the car.

‘Ready’ I take a deep breath as we start heading out.

Boston, I’m sure going to miss you.

Because of traffic, it took us around 5 hours to make it to New York City. We left in the early morning so we had the rest of the day to unpack and explore the city of Manhattan.

'We are here! Now the important question, where do we park...’ Katie says as we both look around. Everything looked so confusing.

‘I’m sure this building has a parking lot. Oh there it is!’

‘Yes!’

After we park, we take the elevator to the 11th floor.

‘Do you think anyone is here?' I look at Katie as I put the key in the door. She lifts up her shoulders signaling she has no idea.

I take a deep breath and push the door. As it swings open, I get a clear view of what the apartment looked like.

Normal size apartment; very open, lots of space, a few windows with a balcony facing Central Park. Did I mention the kitchen looked massive and brand new? Well it was. There was a comfortable white and beige sectional sofa with turquoise pillows, a small dining table, all surrounded by light mint painted walls.

'Wow. The view from here is beautiful.' As I take a peak from the windows.

'It is amazing, but it doesn't beat our view of the Charles...' Katie says as I laugh. Oh the Charles, how I missed thee.

'You're right'

I noticed someone sitting on the couch with her headphones on. She looks over and quickly gets up and skips towards us.

'Oh how rude of me! I'm Lily!' She says in excitement as she gets closer. She was a petite blond with long curly hair. I recognized her from class.

'Lily, right! I thought you looked familiar. We're in a few classes together. I'm Emma.' I said as I elongated my arm to shake her hand.

'That's right! Dr. Williams told me that you'd be joining us! So glad I'm here with someone I recognize! And whose this?' She says as she looks at Katie with a smile on her face.

'This is my best friend Katie! She's helping me unpack end get settled in.'

‘Hi! Nice to meet you!’ Katie says

'How nice of you to help! Well it's very nice to meet you both!' Lily says. 'I already set up my stuff in my room and the room in the right is your room. I'll be out here if you need anything!'

'Thanks Lily' I say as Katie and I head into the room.

'She seems very nice and what's the word...bubbly! You're going to love her' Katie says.

'She does' I say as I laugh.

After we unpacked, we invited Lily to come with us as we grabbed late lunch and explored the city.

__________________________________________________________________________

Things were starting to set into place. Lily and I started to became closer, we had similar interests, which was a plus in every successful friendship.

Katie left later that weekend and it was then that I realized how much I was going to miss her. I immediately became homesick.

'Are you okay?' Lily asked as we sat on the couch. I flip through the stations and see that the Bruins were playing and quickly change the station.

'I will be. I'm just going through something right now and it's just hard, being in a different state and being away from everyone and all.' Please don't start cry.

'Oh I'm sorry hun. I know how you feel, its hard being away from family and friends. If you ever want to talk, I'm here. If you ever get homesick, I'll definitely hop in a car and take you home. I promise.'

'I might have to hold you to that. Haha! That's so sweet of you, thank you!'

She smiles.

'Does it have to do with your parents?' She asks as I exhale. Might as well fill her in.

'I'm sorry, you don't have to tell me-'

'No I don't mind. I recently broke up with my boyfriend and it been hard...'

'Aw, how recent?' She asks as she grabs a pillow and sits next to me, getting comfortable.

'Like two days ago...'

'Two days?! Aw Emma. Come here.' She says as she hugs me. 'It'll be okay. Its his loss sweetheart.'

'Can I ask what caused the breakup?' She asked innocently.

'New York was a huge part of it..'

'Ah, I can see how that can be an issue.'

'Yeah' I force a smile. I tried to switch the topic.

'What about you? Are you from Boston?'

'No hun, born and raised in Georgia! Came to Boston for school. Not sure where I'm going after graduation though. It's still up in the air'

'Oh wow! Georgia! Well you have some time to think about it.'

'Yeah I do. I really like Boston.'

'Me too'

'I love that it's small and it's so quiet! I could never live here. It's too overwhelming.'

'I completely agree.' I say.

'Love their sports too!' She says in excitement.

'Yes! I love it! City of Champs baby!'

'Yes haha! I recently got into football but I've always loved hockey.'

I swallow hard.

'The players are so dreamy!' Her accent came out and it made my laugh.

'Any favorite players?'

'Brady is a babe.' I start laughing as she fans her face.

'Don't worry, I've been obsessed with him since I was 10. Too bad he's married' I say

'Tell me about it!' She says as we both laugh. She continues,

'As for the Bruins...' She says as my heart froze.

'Don't judge me but I've always had a thing for Dougie Hamilton. He is tall and a real cutie! Just like a big teddy bear! I just wanna-' as she takes her pillow and hugs it real tight. I exhale as I start giggling.

'You must think I'm such a weirdo!' She says as she covers her face.

'No! Not at all! Trust me I'm the exact same way. Besides he's a total sweetheart-'

'Wait...You know him?!' She says quickly.

'I've hung out with him a few times, I'm friends with a few guys on the team. You know my friend Katie, she dates Adam McQuaid.'

'Shut up! That's awesome'

'Maybe I'll introduce you and Dougs when we go back sometime.'

'Holy smokes, that'd be wonderful!'

'Speaking of the Bruins! Don't they have game 7 tonight?! Must have slipped my mind.' Lily says.

'Oh yeah I totally forgot. Here' as I handed her the remote.

I can do this. I can do this.

The Canadians led 2-1 at the end of the 2nd period.

'Aw man! Come on Bruins!' Lily cheered.

Every time I saw number 18 flash on screen, my heart ached.

'I'm going to call it a night. It's been a long day.' I tell her.

'You sure you don't want to watch this?'

'Yeah, I'm beat.'

'Alright. I'll let you know how it ends tomorrow. Good night Emma.'

'Thanks! Night Lily!' I said as I went into my room.

I get a text later on that night from Katie saying:

Bruins lost to Montreal in Game 7.

Fuck.

I began imagining what it would be like if I still were home, what I'd be doing at this exact moment. Probably being upset that they lost and most importantly be comforting Reilly. I'm sure he was devastated. Stop. You’re not together anymore. I couldn't help but replay our last conversation, over and over in my head. I tried to convince myself that I needed to move on and that it was really over. Tonight was the first night I was alone, really alone. With Katie around, she kept my mind off of things but now that she was gone, I had never felt so alone my entire life. I could not asleep. My pillow was soaked from the all of my tears.

I decide to call Katie.

'Emma? Are you okay? Why are you still up?' She sounded concerned.

'Katie, can you talk?' I whisper.

'Of course. What's the matter?'

Everything that was all bottled up inside me finally came out.

'I'm sorry for calling you at this hour...but I can't...I can't do this.' I say as tears stream down my face. I tried bring quiet so Lily wouldn't hear me.

'Emma, please talk to me.'

'Maybe this wasn't a good idea. All I want is... for things...to be like they were before. I'm so homesick and I wish...wish I hadn't come here Katie. I'm...not in the right mind set...to do this. It's just...just...too hard.' I tried to swallow and swallowed my words instead.

'Emma listen to me' I don't respond.

I put my mouth against the pillow as I let out my cries.

'Emma? Please! Please stop crying. Things happen for a reason. I hate that this happened to you and I know you're hurting but you need to move on hun. I know you regret coming to NY but it's for the best. It's the best thing you could have done. It would have been so much harder if you were here. So please take one day at a time and focus on you, the new you. Everything is going to be okay. Trust me. I'm only a phone call away! Besides I'll see you this coming weekend, okay?'

'You still with me?' She says.

'Yeah' I say as I calmed down a little.

'You're okay, you're going to be okay. I love you! Now get some sleep. Please. You have a big day tomorrow.'

'Love you too. And thank you'

'Anytime love.'

I flipped the pillow and convinced myself that things could only go up from here.

I took a deep breathe, and closed my eyes, as the tears that were running down my face dried on my puffy, patchy red cheeks.

_________________________________________________________________________

And just like that my summer flew by. My rotations were going so well. I loved every minute of it. It sure kept me busy thats for sure. I went home every other weekend, mostly to visit my family. Katie came over a few times and when she did, it felt like nothing had changed. She never mentioned Reilly, not once. In a way, I was happy and in another way, a part of me wished she would. No. It's better this way. I had deleted my Facebook and Twitter at the beginning of summer. It was difficult at first but now I have completely forgotten about it.

Lily and Katie quickly bonded. It turns out Lily grew up as a Redwings fan and loved the Redwings before coming to Boston. Who knew right?!

By the time September rolled around, my birthday was slowly approaching. A few of my friends from home came over to surprise me on the upcoming weekend and we decided to go out into town. It had been too long.

‘Can you please reactivate your Facebook? Its your birthday and I want to post tons of pics! Please!’ Mel said.

‘I guess...’

‘Thank you!’ she says as she kisses my cheek.

Everyone started getting dressed around 9, while we began pregamed. Katie walks over and pulls me aside.

'Are you going to be okay tonight?' Katie says

'Absolutely' I say as she gives my that look, not convinced.

'You sure?'

'I’ll try my best’

‘Okay! Ready girls?! Let's go!' Katie says.

'Let me check Uber real quick!’ I say as I pull out my phone. It had been buzzing all afternoon so I turned it to silent. I see that I received a private message on Facebook. I quickly look at my phone at the message and a name quickly caught my eye, Reilly Smith. My heart dropped.

‘Happy Birthday Emma. I hope everything is going well in New York. Take care.’

I froze. I slowly sit as I put my trembling hands over my mouth. How civil of him. I just stare at my phone until Lily comes around, takes it from my hands and reads it.

'Emma?' She says slowly.

‘I just need a minute’

'Katie, come here please' she shouts.

'She got a message from a kid named Reilly and she is not doing so good. Is this her ex?' Katie quickly nods and looks at me. She shuts the phone and she pulls me into a hug.

‘The nerve of this kid! Just when I think I’m in a good place, he pulls this?’

'Oh! I'll have a few words with him when I go back!' Katie says.

'Its fine. I'm just shocked, is all. It's been a while, you know. But I'm not responding. Let's head out.'

Throughout the night, I saw this attractive guy sitting at the bar who had been eyeing me ever since I walked in.

'Emma?' Katie says,

'I'll be right back' as I hand her my drink and make my way to the bar.

'Hey you' he says. I smile. Last thing I remember was me pulling him by his jacket and slamming my lips against his. It turned into a full out make out session. I was surprised to be honest. Great kisser but I left nothing. Nothing.

'That was impressive' The stranger said through his smirk.

'Thank you' I said as I left before he can say anything and make my way to my friends.

'I’m impressed! Who was that?' Katie says.

'So was he.’ I smirk ‘He is a nobody. It just needed to be done. I didn't want him to be the last person I kissed.' It was true. I didn't want Reilly to be the last person I kissed. I was slowly, but surely moving on.

Katie nodded her head.

'Now. Who wants to do a shot?!' I said.

Last thing I remember was having my forth round of tequila shots and the rest of the night: Blank. No memory what's so ever. In a way I was happy. Alcohol did numb the pain and that was what I was aiming for.

Notes

Hey hey! New city, new Emma? Hope so. Stay tuned for a surprising visitor in the upcoming chapter ;)

Love,

-R