Wakey! Wakey!' I hear as I slowly open my eyes the following morning. Katie jumped on the bed and sat on her knees, shaking the bed.

'How are you up right now?' I said as I opened my eyes.

'Emma, it's 9:30! You're the one who never sleeps in, I'm surprised you aren't up.'

I sit up. I get dizzy and my head is pounding. I place my hand on my head and laid down again.

'That was not a good idea. How much did we drink last night?' I ask.

'I don't even know. But it sure as hell was fun' Lily says.

'I'm glad you had fun Lily. You and Dougie hit it off.' I laugh.

'He's a sweetheart!' She says as she blushes.

'Aw! You guys were adorable' Katie says, Lily blushes even more as we all started laughing.

'Thank you! Y'all excited for the game tonight?' Lily says.

'Yes!' Katie says quickly.

I place the blankets over my head and do a thumbs down.

'Come on! Don't be lamee' Katie says as she throws a pillow on me.

'I'm kidding. I'm excited, I miss my garden!' as I throw it back.

'Your garden?' Lily says as she laughs.

'Yes. We go way back.'

They both start laughing.

We spend the day on the couch, watching TV, drinking hot cocoa and eating takeout.

'You feeling a little better?' Lily asks

'Yes, much better.' I laugh as I stuff a crab rangoon in my mouth.
___________________________________________

Bruins win 4-2 against the Senators.

We head downstairs, waiting for the players to come out. This is the part that I was trying to avoid.

'Congrats on the win babe!' Katie said when Adam joined us. Behind him was Dougie, Marchy, and the new guy Griffith.

'Emma?!' I turn around and it's Brittany, Milan's wife.

'Hey! How are you?' As we both hug.

'Good good. It's been so long, I heard you're in NY! For how long?!' She asked.

'Until graduation in May! It's not permanent, don't worry!'

'Okay good! We have to catch up. Next time you're in town please call me! Sorry I'm in a rush because our ride's waiting outside.'

'No, no go! I'll definitely text you! It was so nice running into you! Bye!' As I give her a hug and Milan who just approached us.

As I walked over to rejoin the group, Matt Fraser and Reilly walk out of the locker room. Damn it. Why does he look so good in a suit. We quickly make eye contact and my smile starts to fade on my face. They both join us shortly. Please don't come close to me. Please pretend I'm not here.

'You came.' He says as he walks over. Damn it.

'Yeah I did. I promised Adam I'd come.' I said as I turned away to face Lily. He looked at her, I figured I'd introduce them.

'This is my friend Lily. Lily, Reilly.'

'Hi! Nice to meet you.' He smiles as he offers his hand.

'Likewise! Congrats on the win!' She says.

'Thanks, glad you guys could make it.' He says.

Silence.

'Is this your first game of the season?' He turns towards her since I wasn't really talking.

'No, we actually went to one last week in New York, Rangers vs. the Red Wings.' Lily answers as she looks at me.

'Oh nice, how was that?'

'Amazing! The Wings won! We also had the pleasure of meeting your-' Lily stops mid sentence. She looks at me as I put my head down. She realized she spoke to quickly.

'My...?' He says with a confused expression.

'Your brother. We happened to be at the same bar as some of the players after the game.' I say.

'Ah I see.'

'Yeah, he was so nice-' Lily says as Katie interrupts her by calling out her name.

'Lily! Come here for a sec! Quick' Katie said signaling her to hurry over. There were a lot of shouting and laughter coming from that area.

'It was nice meeting you.' She says as she starts walking away.

'You too Lily. Take care.' He says as he turns back to me.

I tried to walk away with her but he placed his hand around my waist, stopping me on my tracks. My heart was beating out of my chest.

'Woah. Not so fast' he says as I stop and take a step back. I take his hand and slowly push it away.

'I'm surprised he hasn't mentioned that he ran into you.'

'Brendan? He said you two hadn't really talked these past few months so I don't know why you're surprised...' A bit harsh but I didn’t care at this point.

'Seems like you guys had a deep conversation then, huh? Didn't know you two were that close.' He says as he looks away. He seemed betrayed in a way, and I felt a sense of jealousy.

'Oh best friends!' I exaggerated. 'He didn't go into great detail. Whatever is going on between you guys, it's none of my business. Besides I'm the one that told him not to mention it to you so don't blame him' he was taken back.

'And why is that?' He quickly asks, eyes pierced on me, arms crossed.

'Because it shouldn't matter...' I say.

'Exactly, so why not mention it?' He says. I shake my head.

Silence.

'Unless...' He lifts up his shoulders. I raise my eyebrow.

'Guess again. And we're not talking about this. This is not the time or place. I have to go.' I say as I try to walk away. He puts his arm out yet again and stops me and this time I don't move back.

'Let me go' he removes his hand.

He whispers in my ear.

'Let's talk somewhere private.'

'No I'm good.'

'Please'

'Talk about what?' I say as I look up at him. Our faces were inches away. I don't remember the last time we were this close.

'Us.' He says as he looks into both of my eyes and down at my lips.

'Us?' I laugh slightly and shake my head. 'All the talking is done Reilly.'

'I'll make it quick, I promise.'

I tilt my head to the side and look at him.

'Fine. Lead the way' I say in defeat. Katie looks over and I put out my hand signaling that I'd be back in 5 minutes.

We walk down the hall into a small waiting area, away from the media and people.

I just stare at him, with my arms crossed, waiting impatiently.

'First of all, I feel like I owe you some answers...but most importantly an apology. '

'You don't owe me anything-' I put my hands out.

'Please, just hear me out...' I listen.

'I don't know where to begin. I've practiced this conversation a thousand times in my head' He runs his fingers through his hair. He was starting to get nervous. He seemed so vulnerable at that point. He exhaled and started talking.

'I just want to apologize for what I said that night. I never got a chance to see you afterwards. I went to your apartment that weekend but you were gone... I don't know what I was thinking when I said all those things, I don't know what got over me-'

'Just save it, okay! First of all, you knew it was coming, you had been itching for a reason and you found one. And second of all, you can't say all of those things to me and then expect to see me the next day and take it all back as if it never happened. The damage is done-'

'Emma' he says as he gets closer. ‘'You have every reason to be mad at me. I completely understand. But I want you to know that it was the only way-'

'Only way?! Only way to what? Drive me away?' I was so confused.

'Only way for you to go to New York for this amazing opportunity. That's all I wanted for you. I didn't want to hold you back.’ He takes a deep breathe. ‘You can't stand here and tell me that you don't love it there.' His voice got softer.

'What? Yes I do but not at first. Those first few months were a disaster. I regretted leaving every fucking day. I am so much happier ever since I convinced myself that the person who I thought would be there for me, couldn't care less.' It took so much strength to hold all this emotions from pouring out of me. He stared at me, hurt, defeated and guilty. After a few minutes, he spoke calmly.

'Look, I’m sorry. I had no other choice. I noticed you weren't convinced so that's why I decided to say what I did. And you believed me so easily. Do you really think I meant all those things?' He says as he cupped both of my cheeks softly. He continues,

‘After everything we've been through together, you honestly thought I didn't see this relationship going anywhere? Emma I lov-.'

'Don't.' I cut him off and just stare at him. Trying to take it all in. I couldn't hold my tears in any longer. I push his hands away.

'Of course I believed you! You looked me in the eye and told me how you felt. It doesn't matter how you said it, what matters is that you did. Besides that's what everyone else thought of me when we were together so I though that you were finally convinced.' I continue.

'You did more than let me go. You made me hate you when all I wanted was to have you by my side, Reilly. My boyfriend, my best friend, most importantly my biggest supporter, above everything else!'

'I know and I'm sorry' He says as he gets closer to comfort me, tears coming down his rosy cheeks.

'No, you don't even know half of the shit I went through because of you. You have no idea. There was other ways for you to handled this situation and you choose this. You knew how I felt about that topic and to hear those words coming from you, from YOU was awful. I expected it from others, but from you-' he comes closer to comfort me.

'Get away from me' as I said as I hit his chest using my forearms, to get him away from me as tears ran down my face. He grabs my arms and he puts his arms around me as my hands cover my face.

'I'm so sorry. I know you. I would never believe that. I should have listened to you. I know that now. Please forgive me.'

I take a few steps back and wipe my tears. I take a few deep breaths trying to calm myself down.

'I'll find it in my heart to forgive you Reilly, but not anytime soon.'

'I understand. Can we at least try to be friends?'

'Friends?' I said as tears silently continue running down my face.

'I'm sorry I can't do that... The best solution for you is to move on. Keep doing what you've been doing these past 6 months, and you should be fine. I'm easily replaceable.'

'I can't do that. Believe me I've tried. After all these months, I know what I want' he whispers.

I shake my head.

'You're the one who wanted this. You, not me and now it's too late. Things change, I've changed and I know what I want, and it's not this. Sorry.'

He comes closer, and grabs my cheek.

'Please don't-' He stops as I take a step back. His eyes started tearing up once again.

'Reilly! Where are you?' I hear someone call out his name.

'You should probably go. I'll just go and see if any of the Senators players need a little pick me up after this loss since I'm good at that' I say as I look at him as I wipe my tears and walk back. That statement was like a stake pierced through his chest.

'Emma!' I hear coming from behind as I kept speed walking. Everyone had left the area where we had been before. I got a text from Katie telling me to meet her at the parking lot. I walk down the exit stairs straight to the parking lot to look for them to get there faster. They were no where to be see. I hear footsteps behind me and I look back. He finally catches up to me.

'What! What do you want Reilly? Can't you let me be?! Please don't make this any harder than it already it. I'm exhausted-' I say in defeat as I caught my breath.

He looks at me in a way that he's never looked at me before. He leans closer and grabs my face and kisses me. I just stand there, no movement, no fighting back, in shock. The warmth from his lips, his scent, his presence in general brought tears to my eyes. What was he doing? He slowly pulls away and whispers in my ear.

'I am truly sorry, from the bottom of my heart. I never meant to hurt you, it was never my intention. I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me. I will make it up to you one day if you let me but for now, I'll respect your decision and let you go.' He wipes the tears off of my cheek, and walks away.

I continue walking, trying to digest what had happened. My heart was aching, this felt so much worse than our first breakup. All I wanted was him. I wanted my old life back. I could have gotten it tonight but I chose not to. I had to do what was right for me. Now I can see why he had said all those things to drive me away. Deep down I knew how he felt about me and how much he loved me. At this moment I had no idea what to do. Only time will tell.

Notes

Hey hey! I promised that I'd update soon, so here you go! Any thoughts of what just happened? Is Emma being rational or too harsh?


-R