The last few days have been terrible. After the incidenet with Carole-Lyne, none of the WAGs would talk to me. Of course they found out immeidately. At the time it took every ounce of self control to no run out in tears. The man I was helping gave me an apologetic look and asked if I was okay. I nodded and excused myself. I went to the bathroom in the back and splashed my face with water. As I walked past maggie who was lining boxes up on the shelf, her horn rimmed glasses covered eyes looked at me, begging for an answer. I didn't giver her one, I just kept walking. When I came back out the man was gone. I could hear the bell ring and the door was shutting on the way out.

I stared at my hands and my red nail polish was chipping. I took a deep breath before telling Maggie to take over. She nodded silently. I had to go home. The team's been losing. I couldn't help but think it was because of me. Maybe it fucked up with Sidney and Pascal's chemistry.

I drove home like a madwoman. I just wanted to get inside. It was weird sometimes staying with Sid. His house felt more like home to me, but half my thinks were still in my condo. The one I haven't seen in months. There's probably mold in the fridge and cobwebs everywhere. I'm sure my neighbors think I'm dead.

[i] fuck[/]

I thought. Tomorrow will be the 5th year anniversary.

I walked in the house, surprised at myself for keeping my composure. It was a bit cooler than usual and the hairs on my arms stood up. Sidney was relaxing on the couch watching the Steelers game. He looked at me and I instantly burst into tears. I felt nauseas.

"Babe, what's wrong?" He asked hopping over the back of the couch and comforting me. I just let myself breathe in his arms. I felt his biceps flex around me and nearly all of my pain melted away. His blue shirt was now tear stained.

"Carole-Lyne, she--she--" I cried into his chest. He led me to the couch, sat me on his lap, and rubbed my back. Then I told him everything. He just looked at me. I deserved it. I deserved every last bit of the punishment. Pascal and I both, but that doesn't make it feel any better.

"And t-t-tomorrow is-- is--" I stuttered not being able to say it.

"Oh God, baby I'm sorry" I was crying so hard it physically hurt. My chest hurt and my throat was dry. This wasn't the cute little cry that girls do in movies with one tear running down your face. This was an ugly cry. Where there's snot coming from your nose and your head starts to spin.

"Let's get you to bed. Let's just sleep and you'll feel better in the morning." His hazel eyes pierced into me. I nodded as he switched off the TV and carried me to the bedroom. As soon as he set me down I was out cold.

In the morning I woke up to the ring of my cell phone on the night stand. I groaned rolling out of Sidney's arms and picked it up, holding my hands over the speaker to muffle the sound. I hopped out of bed and walked to the hallway before answering so I wouldn't wake Sidney up.

"Hello" I said squinting from the bright sunlight seeping through the windows in the hall.

"Hey." I heard a familliar voice say. He hasn't spoken to me in over 3 weeks.

"Pat?" I asked surprised.

"Yeah um...are you okay? I know today is uh--"

"Yeah well, I don't know. It's never not going to hurt."

"I know. Well I came in town to see you. I thought maybe you'd want some--"

"You're here to see me?!" I screamed excitedly.

"Yeah, I'm kinda outside" I quickly hung up and stomped down the stairs. I flung the door open to see Pat smiling at me. It was just a half smile, but it was enough for me.

"Patrick!" I screamed jumping into his arms. He staggered backwards a little as I buried my face in his thick, ,black jacket. I immediately started crying.

"Arielle it's going to be okay." His arms were firmly wrapped around my waist. It was so good to see him again, but I was freezing. I was in short black shorts and a red tank top.

"Come on, let's get you inside" he said setting me down. I guess he must have felt me shiver against him. He's been doing great. It's obvious. He started playing about a week ago and got a goal and an assist in his first game back.

"So--uh--" I began as we walked inside.

"It's Christmas eve. I know you have [i]him[/i] now, but I can't--we always talk on Christmas eve. My family is on a cruise in the Bahamas, Toews is with his girlfriend this holiday, and I miss you. I thought maybe you'd like some--support today." He said. His blue eyes sparkled. I tried to keep my cool, but the tears just started to flow again.

"It's okay" He cooed into my ear. I took a couple deep breaths and the room stopped spinning.

"Kane" Sidney said walking down the stairs.

"What are you doing here?"

"I thought Arielle might want some--someone to talk to today." he replied with his arm around my waist.

"She can talk to me." He said rudely walking by us and into the kitchen.

"Sid, please don't be--" He loudly opened, then slammed the fridge.

"Don't be what? Rude to that piece of shit? Worried that you're going to fuck him too?" He crossed his arms.

"Hey man, that's not fair." Patrick said as his face began to turn red. He dropped his hand from my waist and shoved them deep in his pockets.

"What's not fair is you hiding her away from me, then coming over to visit like you're welcome here" Sidney said.

"Sidney, I love you. Nothing is going to change that. Patrick has always been there for me, every year. Please, I've had a rough week as it is." I pleaded with him. His eyes softened.

"I'm sorry." He whispered staring at the ground.

"I just--I'm scared you're going to leave me for him" Sidney said quietly, obviously upset.

"Trust me, she doesn't want me. I tried." Pat gave a small laugh and smile to Sid "I can undersand being upset over it though. It sucks to lose her."