I stood across the granite kitchen island from Sidney in hopes the distance would make it easier. I felt more and more like I was choking with each breath I took. My heart was racing and I could feel a bead of sweat forming underneath my bangs. I stared at him for a while as he happily ate his cereal and fruit. I tried to soak up as much of this as I could. His beautiful face. His golden-brown eyes. His large biceps as he lifted his spoon. I wanted to make sure that even when we were separated I would remember how we used to be. What he used to look like. He looked up and caught me staring.

"What?" He asked blushing. He was beautiful. Absolutely gorgeous.

"Sidney, I have to tell you something". I took a deep breath.

"What's up hun?" He asked smiling, until he saw my face.

"Pascal and I. We uh...I cheated on you, with Dupuis."

"Babe, thats not funny" He said with a scared look in his eye.

"I'm serious." I started to get scared as he walked around and stood right in front of me.

"Sid, I'm sorry-" before I could finish my sentence he interrupted me. I guess he assumed it was when we were in Laval.

"You fucking cunt-whore! How could you do this to me? I would NEVER cheat on you. You're a fucking slut you know that? I hate you. Get the fuck out of my house!" he said stepping around the counter.

"Please let me explain-" I felt something hard and warm on my face. I was instantly on my knees and tears prickled my eyes. My vision was blurred and I could barely see the tiles on the floor. I gasped for air.

He hit me.

It stung and it felt like my face was on fire. I looked up at him with tears in my eyes, and he still stared at me with anger and hate in his eyes. He's never looked at me like that before. He wasn't the slightest bit apologetic.

I woke up in a cold sweat and breathing hard. My fingers tingled and I blinked quickly trying to make sure it really was just a dream.

"Baby, you okay?" Sidney asked holding me.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said sitting up. It's been a two months since Canada day, but it hasn't been two months since Pascal and I spoke. He made sure I knew every day that he cared about me and wished he was with me. He'd call, text, Skype. I liked Pascal, but I loved Sidney. I kept telling myself that they were teammates and I'd have to live in this hell so they could maintain a good relationship. I told myself I was a martyr for Sidney, and that keeping this secret kept him from pain. I knew it was just a lie, but it gave me some peace.

Pascal told me that he's leave Carole-Lyne in a heartbeat the minute I wanted us to be together. I asked about the kids and he said he'd want custody. I doubt he'd get it after what we did with them at home, but he said it work out. He said that it'd all work out, in time. He wished everyday that the kids were ours and that he'd broken up with Carole-Lyne the moment he'd met me. They'd only been dating a week.

"You've been acting a little weird lately. Are you nervous about going over to my parents place today?" He asked snapping me out of my daze. I had completely forgotten and immediately felt sick. I threw the covers off my sweating body and ran for the bathroom.

I immediately started throwing up. I'm not even sure I made it to the toilet before everything erupted.

"Arielle?" Sid walked in briskly and sat on the edge of the jaccuzi-style bathtub. He held my hair up and rubbed my back soothingly. I hated that he was so sweet. I paused between rounds and began to speak.

"Would you stop being so-" I got out before my body decided I shouldn't finish my sentence. I was going to tell him to stop being so nice. It seemed like the vomit just kept coming and coming until my throat was just pushing out air. My stomach was empty and my throat felt bruised. I got up and brushed my teeth. Sid still sat on the bathtub and just watched me.

I couldn't stop thinking about Duper.

*************************************************************************************
4 years ago.

It was 10 am and way too early for me to be at the store on a Saturday, but Marc was sick so I was holding down the fort. the store was kinda small, but filled with every tech item you could imagine. We usually do custom items, but we have a collection of antiques on display, including the original Apple-1. It was a splurge for the business, but I just had to have it.

Although in an average side of town, I made sure the place looked spiffy inside. there were long, silver, light-reflecting panels on the walls and sleek tables on the perimeter of the store highlighting a lot of the custom work we do. The back wall was a striking red that contrasted the white of the check out area.

I was sitting behind the counter on facebook, messaging my ex when I heard the front door open.

I'm so excited for you Pat.

[i]Ty I don't want to move though. I'm gonna miss every1 2 much[/i]

You'll be doing what you love. You'll be happy.

[i]Miss you[/i]

I miss you too.

[i]Will U visit me?[/i]

I will over Christmas break. I promise. Brb, there's a customer.

I looked up and the sun pierced in when they entered. The store had only been open for 5 minutes and most people don't even show up until noon on the weekends.

"Hi guys, what can I help you with?" I walked around to the group of men and smiled. There were three of them, one with a piercing eyes and an amazing jawline, one with luscious lips and was shorter than the other two, and one with a russian accent. They were cute. I was proud that I forced myself to do my hair and put on makeup this morning.

"I 'ave problem wif dis" the tallest one said, handing me his laptop.

"No play sound" his accent was actually rather cute and so was his lack of english fluency.

"And he dragged us with him" The one with the french accent said eyeing me. ", but I can't complain anymore." he smirked and I couldn't help but giggle. I wasn't wearing anything provocative.

"Alright let me take a look" I said walking towards the marble desk in the back of the store. I bent over and grabbed my hot pink toolbox then walked back to the men.

"Sidney, regardez ce cul!" one said in french.
(Sidney, look at that ass!)

"Ouais, arrêtez vous êtes un chien. Et si elle parle français?" another replied.
(Yeah, Stop you're such a dog. What if she speaks french?)

"Elle ne" he smirked as I walked back.
(She doesn't)

"Et ces seins. Je ne pouvais embrasser ceux qui toute la journée. Que pensez-vous, double d?" He asked quietly.
(And those breasts. I could kiss those all day. What do you think, double d's?)

"So you work here?" he short one asked, not paying attention to the one with the french accent.

"No she's just here, working for free" the one with the french accent said.

"Haha, I actually own the place." I smiled into his chocolate eyes.

"No way. There's no way I'm going to believe a beautiful woman like you owns a computer repair shop." Pascal said.

"That's what everyone says. I went to PITT for Computer Science and then Carnegie Mellon for my masters in Software Engineering, but most people say I look like a Communications major. What does that even mean?" I replied turning off the white HP laptop and turning it over. I removed the battery and motherboard.

"It means that most people think geeks are pasty, white men with weight issues." The french one said.

"What, because I'm black I can't like technology?" I retorted setting down the pliers.

"No, not that's not what I-" he began. All three men looked at each other awkwardly.

"It's okay, nothing offends me guys." I chuckled as they took sighs of relief. "Yeah, I'm a big ole', black Star Trek-loving nerd" I said using pliers to reach the sound chip.

"That's so hot" Pascal smiled. I couldn't help but giggle.

"I'm sure it's the least hot thing ever"

"A beautiful, smart, business woman? Perfection" I couldn't be too upset at the all the compliments they were giving me.

"Hey Arielle, I'm gonna head over to No Signal and check on Hannah." my other employee Maggie said interrupting us before walking out the door and pouring more sunlight into the room. I nearly forgot that she was in the back room doing inventory.

"Sure, see you later"

"What No Signal?"

"Stop being so nosy Geno!" the short one scolded. His biceps flexing to hit the russian in the shoulder.

"It's alright. I also own a production company in Southside. We're splitting the team and opening locations in LA and New York." I smiled as I pulled the chip case open. I took the chip out and used my soldering gun to remove several little gold chips.

"Jeez, what else do you own." Pascal asked.

"This, No Signal, another tech company, and a boutique in the oakland neighborhood." I smiled snapping the new chips into the spots where the old ones were.

"Wow" the russian one said. I put the chip back in its casing and back into the bottom of the laptop. I put the battery back in and turned it on.

"What do you guys do?" I asked as the screen lit up.

"Hockey" the russian gleamed with his chest out.

"Oh yeah, what team?"

"Pens" he replied. The short one looked a little uncomfortable.

"Wait you guys play for the Pittsburgh Penguins?" I asked. I wasn't starstruck just surprised.

"Yeah" they all said kind of slowly.

"My ex plays for the Blackhawks. He's a sweetheart when he wants to be, but I never really got into hockey. What are your names?"

"I'm Pascal, this is Sid, and that's Geno"

"I'm Arielle, nice to meet you. Did you guys plan the plaid? If s, it's cute" The boys looked at each other and laughed.

"We didn't" Sidney said.

"Oh, well then never mind" They all chuckled.

"You should come to a game sometime. I can get you tickets if you want." Pascal said.

"Keep in pants Duper" Geno said. Sidney cracked up. I'm not sure if it was because of Geno's accent, not so great english, or that Pascal was hitting on me.

"Alright, you are all set to go." I said after testing the sound on the computer.

"How much?" Geno asked.

"Don't worry about it." I said putting my tools back in the box.

"Thank you," they all chimed walking towards the door.

"Je fais" I called just as they opened the door.
(I do)

"What?" Sidney asked nervously.

"Parler français. Je parle français. Je mineure en français et j'ai étudié à l'étranger au Québec" I smirked. Pascal and Sidney were shocked.
(speak french. I do speak french. I minor in french and I studied abroad in Quebec)

"Je suis désole" Pascal said, blushing before rushing out of the store.
(I'm sorry)

*************************************************************************************

I threw some water over my face and caught my breath. I looked at myself in the mirror a bit and smoothed back my disheveled hair.

"I already told my parents we got back together" Sidney said softly trying to make me feel better. "Don't worry. They weren't mad at you when all that happened. My mom told me I must have done SOMETHING for you to leave all of a sudden. They love you. Probably more than me."

I remained silent while getting dressed. I always love Sid's parents. It was hard to describe them as anything other than amazing people. Trina has always been like a second mom to me. I missed her. And Troy. and Taylor. I lotioned up my legs and arms. A few days ago Sidney and I had to go shopping for things for me. My one day supply didn't last very long. While we were out he insisted on paying for everything which made me feel even worse.

"Babe?" he called, snapping me out of my thoughts. I looked at him, He faced me and held me by my waist close to him.

"I know there's something bothering you. I know you have issues trusting people, but you can trust me. I will never, EVER hurt you. Now, what's wrong. Is it...is it the sex. Am I not pleasing you?" he asked. His eyes were full of fear and embarrassment.

"No, no Sidney. That's not it at all." I said looking away.

"Well lately it just seems like you're not enjoying it. I just want to make you happy. Tell me what I need to do?" He asked breaking my heart even further.

"I promise Sidney, you are making me happy." I say holding his face in my hands and massaging his neck.

"Then what's bothering you? Did someone do something. I'll get 'em. Just please tell me what to do to fix it." He said pleading for me to tell him. I sunk my face into his chest and he pressed himself into me.

I promised Pascal I wouldn't say anything. I promised myself I wouldn't say anything. I took a deep breath and wrapped my hands around his back.

"Sidney." I began. I contemplated the repercussions of telling him the truth." I'm just nervous to see your parents again. What if they think I'm the kind of girl who just runs away from everything?" I lied.
He rubbed my arms gingerly and kissed the top of my head.

"Don't worry, I told them what happened on the phone last week. My dad practically disowned me in favor of you. They'll be glad to see you."

I sighed and gave him a big kiss. I took theatre in high school and this would be the hardest role I'd ever play. Sidney Crosby's happy girlfriend.