Either You Do...Or You Don't

Allison’s POV:

I just stood there staring. Not even able to speak. “Let us explain…” Melanie was saying

“What is there to explain, Melanie? I came here to apologize to you. To make amends with you.” I began

“Well, you shouldn’t come barging in to other people’s houses…” James grumbled, pulling his Penguin’s wind-breaker on.

“I wasn’t fucking talking to you.” I snapped, turning towards him. “Besides, this is my friend’s house and she gave me a key.”

“Allison…we were just…” Melanie started

“Having sex. Okay? We had sex. Happy now? Fuck…” James folded his arms and leaned against the wall. Melanie shot him a glare and he shrugged.

“So…you cheated on me then?” I said looking at him

“Don’t even start in with that.” he retorted, standing up straight and grabbing his keys

“Where do you think you’re going?” I asked

“Home. I am done dealing with you and your drama for a night.”

“You haven’t even talked to me in weeks!” I yelled. He looked at me, stunned by my change in tone. “You haven’t even tried to call me. To apologize to me for hurting me…to even check up on me!”

“Why should I apologize? Until tonight, I did nothing wrong!” he fought back

I was getting angrier by the second, “Whatever, James.”

“Stop arguing…” Melanie stammered

“Well, I came by to let you know that I lost the baby. Thought you might want to know…”

James’ body language completely changed, “Why…why didn’t you call me?”

“Like you’d fucking answer!”

“That’s bullshit, Allison! You know I would have came! That I would have been there for you!” his voice cracked and he dropped to Melanie’s bed, sobbing.

“…why didn’t you call me?” Melanie asked, her voice quiet.

“I…I tried…I called you after, but…”

“Why didn’t you call before?! You think I honestly wouldn’t have been there for you?! You really think that I’d do that to my best friend?!” she screamed
“
Well…you slept with my boyfriend so…”

“Oh my fucking god! For the last goddamn fucking time! Until tonight, we were broken up when it fucking happened!” James argued back

“All I want to fucking know is why! Why this whole thing even happened in the first place! Why you continue having sex with her! And why you keep having sex with him!”

“Because I fucking like him, okay?! I’ve fucking wanted to be with him since the day you brought him home. I just sat by watching you two slowly destroy each other’s lives in so many ways and neither of you two realize how toxic you are together. I just kept wishing and hoping that one day you’d both realize how wrong you were for each other! And I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I’ve contributed in fucking things up. I’m sorry that I hurt you, Allison…I’m just fucking sorry…” Melanie sobbed, running into the bathroom and locking the door

James’ POV:

“Melanie…” I sighed trying to stop her, but she pushed my arm away.

Allison shook her head and I noticed tears filling up in eyes, “Do you feel that same way?”

“I don’t know…” I sighed, looking away.

“I’m tired of you fucking saying that James Neal. You do fucking know…and I deserve an answer. Melanie deserves an answer too.”

My head was spinning and it felt like my heart was racing ten thousand miles a minute, “I…I can’t answer that…okay? I just can’t…I know it’s hard to believe, but I honestly don’t know…I want to like you, Allison…but I keep thinking about Melanie…and I just…I don’t want to hurt either of you…”

“That doesn’t make any sense…”

“I know that! I know that I sound completely crazy, but shit, that’s how I fucking feel! I have to go…I have things to think about…” I stood up and tried to leave, but Allison stopped me.

“Allison…”

“Just tell me why you continued to have sex with her.”

I sighed, “Just let me go home…”

“Not until you at least tell me that.” she cried

“I can't..."

"You can't or won't?"

"Both...just drop this...please."

"No! I want to know!" Allison begged

I sighed, "I have feelings for her."

Notes