Either You Do...Or You Don't

Allison’s POV:

It had been about three days since I called James and told him about Melanie…I hadn’t heard anything from him or her. I was at home alone, when my doorbell rang. “Hel…lo.” I stopped, seeing James standing in my doorway.

“Hey.” he replied. He had sunglasses on, with his pirates hat, 412 hoodie and sweatpants.

“Um…hi…how’d you know where I live?” I asked

“Engo…can I come in?”

“Sure.” I replied, stepping aside. “What’s up?”

“She broke up with me…” he replied sitting on my coach

“I’m sorry. Are you okay?”

James shook his head, “Not really…I’ve lost everything…”

“Don’t overreact, James…she’s just one girl.”

“It’s not just about Melanie, Allison…I’m out indefinitely so I’ll miss playoffs because of this stupid concussion…and Jen…she re-tried our case and won full-custody of the kids. She left yesterday…I begged her to stay…”

My mouth dropped, I couldn’t believe it. I mean, he’d told me Jen might re-try the case, but I never thought she’d win. “Oh my god…”

“I just…I need someone to talk to…I tried talking to Paul, the other guys, Vero…none of them help…”

“So…you came to me?”

James sighed, “I know I haven’t been the nicest to you and that I’ve been a total asshole to you. I wouldn’t fucking blame you if you throw me out and tell me that I deserve all of this for what I’ve done. I know you probably hate me, but I want you to know I’m sorry. I know that will never erase anything that’s happened over the past three years, but I hope that it will…” his voice cracked and he laid his head in his hands. “I’m fucking sorry…”

“James…” I started, placing my hand on his back. “You know that I don’t hate you. I couldn’t…”

“I’ve fucked up so much, Allison. I fuck every goddamn relationship up that I have. Then to make it worse, I try and protect my sister from guys just like me. What does that make me? How can I tell Rebecca to be careful with who she dates when I’m that same guy I warn her of?”

“You know Rebecca doesn’t think any negative thoughts about you. You’re her big brother. She loves you all the same. I’m not perfect either, James…I’ve done a lot of shit too.”

He pulled his sunglasses off and looked at me, his cheeks tear stained and his eyes red, “The things that you did weren’t even that bad.”

“I cheated on you…three times…and you cheated on me, like, what? Once? Maybe twice?”

“Yeah, but I’ve said a lot of shit that’s hurt you.” he argued

“You’re not the bad guy, James Neal.”

“You don’t even know the half of it, Allison…”

“No, James, maybe I don’t. What I do know is that Melanie cheated on you and then broke up with you after you tried to make it work. Yeah, you did cheat on Jen, but you tried to make things work with her for the kids. You’ve done everything for Nolan and Lyvia. She’s the one who left you, not the other way around. When you had full custody, you didn’t move thousands of miles away. You let her be with the kids when you didn’t have to and with me; no matter what I did to you, you’d always defend me. I cheated on you, lied to you and hurt you and you forgave me every time. That’s what I do know. The James I know is funny, caring, adorable and unable to make his own breakfast, unless it’s cereal. The James Neal I know is an amazing father to two beautiful children, even though their mother is crazy. He is not this asshole, jerk, cheater and liar that you keep saying he is.” I took a deep breath because I was practically sobbing,

“That’s the James Neal that I know, and I’m in love with him. I love you.”

“I…I love you too.” he choked out, pulling me in his arms for a hug. I wrapped my arms tight around him and did not want to let go…ever.

James’ POV:

“I look like a hot mess.” Allison laughed, wiping tears from her eyes

I smiled at her, “You got one part of that right.”

She playfully smacked my arm and looked at me, “James…I…”

“You what?” I asked

“Can we start over?”

I tilted my head, “What do you mean?”

“I mean…I know things have been shitty, but I want things to work with us. I want things to be like they were that night at the grocery store. I wish we had a time machine so we could go back in time and do it all over, but I know that’s impossible. I guess what I’m asking is, will you start over with me? I know it’s going to take a lot, but I’m willing to do that. I’m willing to work on us.”

“It’s going to be really hard, Allison. So much has happened…” I started

“I know that, but I want things to work out. My friend, Kenzie told me that her and her fiance went and saw a relationship counselor…we could do that.”

I nodded, “Okay. I’m willing to do anything to fix this…well, mend this.”

Allison smiled and hugged me again, “So, a concussion, huh?”

I nodded, “Yeah. It sucks, but it’s supposedly just minor…if there is such a thing.”

“Do you have anything to do today?” she asked

“No.”

“Do you want to stay for supper? I’ll order us some Chinese. We can watch Netflix or just talk.”

I smiled, “That sounds perfect.”

Notes