“So I have come to the conclusion that the universe is just out to make you feel as awkward and uncomfortable as humanly possible,” Jen laughed into the phone after I recounted the events of last night to her, “Also, you are never going to get laid again. Ever.”

“That would be what I am drawing upon from last night and everything else as well,” I complained loudly as I pulled the car away from the stop sign.

“I have a solution,” Jen said suddenly very serious.

I braced myself, before tentatively inquiring, “And, dare I ask what that be would be?”

“It’s simple, just a two step plan. First, the pair of you rent a private island somewhere very far away, but not tell anyone where said island is. Second, you have sweet, sweet non stop sexy time with the Captain for days and days.”

Luckily, Sidney’s neighborhood had a ridiculous number of cross-streets with stop signs, so at the moment I was at another stop sign. I shut my eyes and took a breath.

Jen was laughing hysterically on the other end of the line, probably thinking my silence was due to me feeling uncomfortable at her suggestion or something. In actuality, I was contemplating how much damage taking a couple of days off of my training schedule would cause. Would Sidney even be up for something like that? It would have to be after the playoffs for sure. And what if they won the Stanley Cup again this year? That created an entire host of required events he would have to go to and it was already an shortened summer. Though, a private place where no one would know us, where there would be no outside pressure, where we could just be sounded so incredibly.

An image of a large bed with white sheets flashed in my minds eye. Sidney was waiting on it, laying on the bed with that look from last night burning in his eye--

A car honk pulled me out of my thoughts. I looked in the rearview mirror and realized a car was behind me waiting. Glancing forward, I remembered that I was still at the stop sign.

“Are you driving missy?” Jen asked, a slight disapproving tone to her voice.

“You are on speakerphone,” I sighed a reply, as I pushed away the thoughts of a naked Sidney on a tropical island away into the deepest recesses of my head.

“Where were or are you doing?”

“Was. I was meeting with my new PT.”

The only of the reason I was allowed to come to Pittsburgh for this extended trip was due to a deal I had worked out with my physical therapist back in Colorado. He had contacted a PT guru here in Pittsburgh who worked with other recovering professional athletes here in the city. The two came up with a strict regimented rehab program of daily scheduled appointments in addition to other types of workouts I would have to keep. My ankle was well on the way to recovery, but the appendage as well as the rest of me had a long way to go before I would be fit for competition let alone the Olympics. Normally, I would take the majority of the summer off, going on one trip near the end of the warmer months to loosen up a bit before real training started. But with Sochi happening in less than a year, this summer was going to be quite different; I already had several training trips planned. Every day was so incredibly crucial now.

And yet, and yet, I found it important enough to organize my life so I could be in Pittsburgh for twenty entire days. At first I had argued with Jen, Bethany, everyone else in my training group, and myself that it was for Geno and to see Mama and Papa Malkin. Bethany and everyone else bought it; Jen and myself were not so convinced of my reasoning.

“How did that go?”

“He kicked my ass,” I whined. I was much more out of shape than what I was used to being.

“I wish I could see you now,” I could hear the wistfulness in her voice. Jen was active in a yoga and ‘Let’s walk and get Pinkberry type of way.’ This did stop her from being naturally unbelievably beautiful. But she would sometimes tag along on a run with me to be supportive. Thus, the idea of her being able to out sport me was exciting, which I completely understood. We all had our different strengths; she could out technology me on every level as well as out-social me.

“Oh no.” I breathed.

“What?” her voice all of a sudden excited.

I had just pulled onto Sidney’s street and I could make out yet another car in the driveway.

A very familiar car.

A car belonging to a certain Russian Bear.

But this made no sense to me. I was supposed to go over to Geno’s this afternoon to see Geno and and Mama and Papa Malkin. Geno coming here, and unexpected? I had a bad feeling about this.

“Geno is here, here at Sidney’s,” my voice cracked a little.

“What is wrong with that?” Jen asked confused. Jen didn’t understand the complexities of how Geno worked. She also didn’t know that I hadn’t told either of the men in my life about the little indiscretion that happened in Colorado. I knew I had to tell both Sidney and Geno, I just didn’t know how to tell them both over the phone or skype-call. Could Geno have found out somehow?

“I’m not supposed to meet Geno until later this afternoon.” I replied as I parked on the street. I took the phone off speaker, and grabbed my purse before quickly getting out of the car and locking the door.

“I’m really going to have to call you back,” I murmured, “Bye sunshine.”

“Good luck!” she laughed.

I hung up the phone as I passed by Geno’s car. At the front door, I took a deep breath before I opened the door. I quietly shut the door and took my shoes off, leaving them by the side of the door. I heard voices from the kitchen, so I headed towards that direction.

“Good morning,” I said as I walked into the brightly lit kitchen. Geno was sitting at the counter while Mrs. Crosby was busy cooking but Mr. Crosby was sitting reading a newspaper over at the real breakfast table by the window.

Geno turned and looked at me, his mouth full of food. He pushed his stool back and lumbered over to me, lifting me up like I weighed nothing and squeezing me tightly.

“You going break me again. How do you say, ribs?” I laughed in Russian except for the word ‘ribs’.

Geno corrected my Russian before telling me how to tell me to say the word ribs, “I missed you! But you are sort of smelly.”

“Well, what that’s get you for not knowing I was working out and then hugging me,” I retorted.

Geno boomed a laugh and corrected my Russian before he put me down, kissing me on the cheek, but his arms didn’t let me go. I didn’t complain; I always missed my bear, and I knew how much he had felt hurt by not being upfront about Sidney. Plus, I knew he felt a bit guilty about not having me staying in his house right now. I didn’t want to rock the boat with Sabina and I knew it would only be for another couple of days until I could move back to his place.

“Lily, how was your appointment? And can I fix you something to eat?” Mrs. Crosby asked.

“Trina,” Mr. Crosby said without looking up from his news paper, “Give her a moment to breathe. Morning Lily. Oh, good morning Tay.”

I arched my neck back as best I could in Geno’s embrace which was difficult until Geno just spun us both around to look at the doorway to see a sleepy looking Taylor standing there. Despite looking tired, she had a slight frown on her face as she took Geno and I in.

Taylor muttered something unintelligible and went to sit down next to her father and put her head on the table.

I hid my worry and smiled at everyone, smiled, “Good morning Taylor. Uh, and it went as well as expected. And I’m okay Mrs. Crosby, thank you.”

Mr. Crosby patted his daughter’s head, while he said sympathetically, “Taylor just finished all of her exams and her semester at school, so she is a bit tired, eh.”

I nodded as Geno began to tug me into the empty stool next where he had been sitting while with a free hand grabbing for another piece of toast and taking a giant bite from it.

“Are you sure I can’t get you something to eat Lily? I have eggs and bacon going as well as some potatoes,” Mrs. Crosby warmly added trying to entice me to eat.

“Really, the trainer had me drink a smoothie while I was there,” I assured.

Geno made a face, “You not eat enough.”

I gave him a look that said, ‘Shut it or else’, which he understood.

“Uh,” I glanced around and asked the obvious question, “Where’s Sidney?”

“He here soon,” Geno replied, there was a bit of an edge to his tone that raised the hairs on the back of my neck, “He left after me. Had questions, cameras, people want talk him.”

“Oh, of course.”

There was a long pause.

“Would any of you terribly mind if I headed off to get cleaned up?” I asked. Partially I wanted to escape the awkwardness, though mostly I really did need to take a shower because I stunk.

“Of course not,” both Mr. and Mrs. Crosby chorused together.

“Where you stay?” Geno asked, the edge of his tone much more obvious now. I glared at him before quickly glancing over the Crosbys’ who were exchanging an odd glance between the two of them.

“I’m in the basement guest bedroom,” I quickly tried to cover up the oddness, my tone totally casual as I began to get off of the stool, tugging myself out of Geno’s grip and started to make my way out of the kitchen.

“Hey, I’m home!” we all heard Sidney’s voice call out. Without thinking, I changed the directions I had been walking in and hurried to the doorway of the hallway he’d be coming down from the garage.

“Oh!” I breathed. I had almost bumped into Sidney in my excitement.

I wanted to smack myself in my head. ‘You are like one of those dogs that get so excited they run up and lick a person in the face!’ snarked my brain. A dog, I was comparing myself to a dog. Yeah, I was good at playing it cool indeed.

He reached a hand out to steady me. I looked up at Sid and felt my heart race. His cheeks were a little rosy, from what, I had not a clue. His hair was still a little damp from the shower he must have taken at the practice area or CONSOL, I wasn’t sure where they had worked out today. But the way he filled out his Penguins logo’d sweatshirt mixed with his incredible self plus how he just was him, I just wanted to throw my arms around him and demand to be taken to bed right now.

“Uh,” Sidney cleared his throat and looked over my shoulder.

I shut my eyes and remembered we were most certainly not on the private island that I was now wishing so much was a reality.

“You and you,” Geno pointed at both Sidney and myself, his tone was very serious, “We talk. Now.”

Sidney and I exchanged almost a guilty glance between us before we meekly followed Geno out of the room. As we were leaving, I looked back at Mr. and Mrs.Crosby who were also exchanging a look. I couldn’t exactly tell what it was saying, but I was very curious. My glance then shifted to Taylor who was staring furiously at, well, at Sidney. I was really confused. But I didn’t have anymore time to interpret their reactions because we had made it out of the kitchen.

We went into the basement and to the room I was staying in. Geno walked around the room, and into the bathroom for a moment, obviously checking for something. I snuck another glance at Crosby who was sitting on the bed and actually had his head bent, and was refusing to look up. I was obviously missing something; what was Geno looking for? Geno came back into the bedroom and went over to the trash can. After glancing in the empty container, he nodded his head looking slightly relieved. And then I got it.

“Are you serious?” I exclaimed indignantly. My mouth was open and I turned my head to look from Sidney to Geno. Sidney was sitting on the bed, waiting for Geno to say something, not commenting on the fact that Geno had just check the room to see if there were any used condoms. I was about to tackle the Russian to the ground before dragging him by the ear very far away.
He held up a hand motioning for me to be silent. He was standing, scowling at Sidney with probably the most protective, serious glare I had ever seen on Geno’s face ever.

“I not like,” he gestured his hand between Sidney and I. But it seemed like he was addressing this more towards Sidney than me, “I mean, I like you and I like you. But Sid, I not like you with her. Lily my sister. She my favorite. She in my life forever. You my Captain, my teammate, my friend.”

“Geno,” Sidney tried to begin.

“No, no. You listen now then talk.” Geno interrupted Sidney.

My mouth fell open again as I looked, my head moving back and forth like I was watching tennis between the two men. Sidney stopped talking.

“First, Lily not puckbunny. That not good word to say about women,” Geno scowled,

“Lily not be in relationship for long time. She rusty. Not that she good before. You patient, which good for her. She takes while to trust and open up. But she gets best. She is best. She kind to all, but she scared of kind to her. Good reason of why. Not good in her life. Lily like think she tough but delicate when comes to things like, like comes to things like this,” Geno explained all very slowly. Geno stopped talking, whether because he was done or because he was thinking, I wasn’t sure.

My head had stopped moving because I had closed my eyes. I couldn’t watch this train wreck any further. Please be over. This is it.

“What are intentions?” Geno asked Sidney sharply.

“Genoooo” I moaned, and switched into Russian, “Oh my god, please stop. Are you trying kill me?”

“Only English,” Geno answered turning his intimidating glare on me,“Protect you, not kill you.”

“I think that is something Lily and I haven’t really discussed yet.” Sidney pipped in. Geno and I both looked over at him.

I allowed my head fall into my hands not caring about the audible slapping sound that resulted from the action.

“What if she pregnant?” Geno’s tone was completely humorless.

“Geno!” I screeched. ‘Sorry Penguin fans, I am about to kill your beloved Russian center and sometimes winger.‘ my brain thought as I shut my eyes. I felt like crying.

“I would do right by her,” Crosby’s voice was completely serious, “I would do what she wanted. Of course I would want to be involved with her decision and the child.”

‘Words. Just words. If he ever got me pregnant, he would leave.’ a sad voice in my head said quietly. I pulled my knees up to my chest and buried my head between them in an attempt to block out the Russian who was giving an inquisition to the Canadian. Crosby was sure as hell going to bolt from whatever was going on between us after this conversation. It wasn’t even me who was going to be the one running away this time. Thanks Geno for speeding up the process.

“What you break up with her? Or she break you?”

“I would assume if things did develop into something and it didn’t work out between us, it would be for a good reason. But nothing would change between you and I, Geno. And it would never turn into an ugly event. I believe Lily and I are both in positions where we would do the best we could to handle it with grace and maturity.” He replied.

‘Oh yeah, let’s think how you did it last time Lily, you just sent a text and cut off all contact. SUPER Graceful and mature.‘ the voice snarked as I buried my head down further between my knees.

I heard hear a giant inhale and exhale coming from Geno, and could almost hear his same exact thoughts on the matter; he knew the story of what happened with the Swedster.

“Thing is, is what Lily want in end of day. If Lily happy, I have happy. That is what important,” Geno admitted shaking Geno sighed, “But if you hurt, I not care you captain.”

Ever so seriously, Sidney nodded solemnly.

“You, need shower so we go home and see parents.” Geno said in a much more relaxed tone as he walked over to the door opening it.

I felt my heart flutter and my stomach do the lurching flippy thing when I glanced over at Sidney and realized he hadn’t moved from his position on the bed.

He wasn’t bolting. Well, not immediately. I would be after that talk from the Russian bear. From the look Sidney was giving me, it was obvious that he wanted to stay and talk. Talk about what? Maybe he was going to end it now, and was just going to let me know versus just bolting.

But then Geno coughed, gesturing for Sidney to exit first. It was obvious that while Geno was giving us the opportunity to explore whatever could possibly be between us further with a tentative blessing, Geno wasn’t going to allow it to happen when he was actually present. Geno didn’t even want us to talk.

Chivalrous Crosby stood up, giving me a small smile before ducking his head and led the way out of the room.

“Hurry up,” Geno stated brusquely in Russian before shutting the bedroom door.

I stared after the two after they left, feeling like a bit of a helpless small child.

---

“Hello? I’m back and I brought ptichye moloko!!!” I called as I entered the front door to Sidney’s house.

After the quick turn around of this morning, I had spent the rest of the day at Geno’s with his family, catching up, playing games, though primarily cooking and baking with his mother. Geno had just dropped me off back at Sid’s house, though, I wasn’t too sure how I felt at being back here. There was a lot going on in my head.

“Leave your shoes on, we are leaving,” Sidney’s voice startled me, and I almost dumped the cake that I held in my hands.

“Jesus!” I half yelled at Sidney, “Cat bells damn-it!”

Sidney didn’t even crack a smile as took the container holding the cake out of my hands and guided me by the arm into the kitchen.

“Uh, hi,” I said to a Mrs. Crosby who was busy cooking in the kitchen; something that smelled incredible.

“Mom, we’ll go get the milk. And Lily brought Pickachu-Maludoko-something-or-other,” Sidney grumbled as he dumped the cake on the counter before he dragged me down the hallway.

“It’s a type of Russian cake! It’s nice to see you! Bye!” I called but we were already halfway down the hall and out to the garage by the time I had finished what I was saying. We entered the garage and walked down the three steps before I could really process what was going on.

“Sidney?” He didn’t answer, but gestured for me to get into his Range Rover. I sighed and I hopped up into the car.

“Sidney?” I shut the car door and sat my purse on the floor.

“Sid?” I turned my body to face towards him as he started the car.

“Sid?”

He leaned over the console, taking my chin in his hand, and his lips hit mine with a ferocity I hadn’t felt since our second rendez-vous in the closest in New York. This Sidney was completely dominant and went in for the kill. It was brief, but it shot tingles all the way down to my toews. He pulled away and I felt my body follow him in protest of being separated from his touch.

“Come back,” I whined before I could stop myself. My cheeks flushed bright red, “I just said that out loud. Fuck, I just said that out loud.”

“Yes, yes you did,” Sidney grinned as he clicked the garage door opener which opened the garage door and put the car in reverse.

We were quiet as we pulled away from the house. The car was playing some song I wasn’t familiar with, but I liked it. I knew we were going to get milk, but the real question I should have been questioning was why we had left with such determination. But was we sat in silence, I realized I didn’t need to ask him the why. I knew if he needed to tell me, he would. I was just content to be be with him in this silence. The silence in the car wasn’t heavy, it wasn’t awkward, or uncomfortable or mean or weird. It was light and comfortable and peaceful and just easy.

A grin came across my face, and I knew I looked like an idiot so I glanced out of the window so Sidney couldn’t see what a silly goose I was being.

I felt a hand slid into my lap and curl around my own and intertwine with my fingers. My breath caught a little and I bit my lip as I turned my head back around to track his hand, back up his arm and to his face. Sidney glanced over at me briefly before looking back at the road. I couldn’t help but glance down and stare at our hands; I felt absolutely transfixed by this touch. Well, that was until he broke the silence.

“After we win the cup, can you and I go away?” he asked abruptly.

My mouth opened and I was pretty sure I made a sound like “Mrgha.”

“Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that,” his voice was slightly nervous.

“Did Jen call you?” I asked my voice a little sharp.

“No?”

“Yes.” I squeezed his hand.

“What?” Sidney looked confused as he glanced back over.

“Yes, we should.” I clarified, “But some place warm, I think.”

“Anywhere.” Sidney confirmed as he pulled into the parking lot and parked near the back of the lot. He turned the car off and quickly leaned over the console again and gave me a very different kind of kiss.

It was the first kiss of my life of it’s kind. The kiss isn’t heated or passionate or anything that I had ever experienced.

When Sidney leaned over and pressed his lips on mine, it was for the briefest of moments. The kiss was a promise of millions of more kisses like that; millions of more shared moments of whatever that feeling was between us that sent flips and lurches in my stomach, tingles to my toes, made my heart warm, and made my head fuzzy

“Let’s go,” he sighed and started to get out of the car.

I followed, lagging slightly still thinking about how such a simple kiss could be so utterly complex.

“So what all do we need to get?” I asked as I picked up a shopping basket as we walked into the brightly light store.

“Milk,” he answered as he attempted to tug at the basket out of my grasp.

I tugged it back and continued to walk forward as if I knew exactly where we were headed to in the store. Sidney let out a chuckle as he quickly caught up and kept a step ahead of me, and to the side of me. He left enough distance between us so nothing could be mistaken other than a casual friendship between us.

We were receiving many looks as we walked down an aisle towards what I assumed was dairy section of the store. I realized quickly the casual way I was dressed was not helping the situation.

Earlier, when I had showered quickly and thrown on clothes to head over to Geno’s, I had pulled on a pair of dark jeans, a t-shirt, and one of Geno’s sweatshirts I had commandeered a long time ago. In Sidney’s hurry to get out of the house, I didn’t change into something non-describe. Now as we walked by other shoppers who were giving Sidney and I a once over, and then Sidney again, were having their suspicions confirmed when they saw my oversized Malkin sweatshirt.

“I shouldn’t have worn this,” I sighed looking down at the blatant logo.

“I didn’t really give you a chance to change, did I?” He replied glancing over it, his eyes lingering at the 71, “Though, I think we might have to get you some more 87 stuff.”

“87?” I repeated, my heart racing, “And why would I need that?”

“Equal representation. Though, you already have a good start.”

“I do?” I asked as we reached the dairy section.

“Well, you have one of my jerseys from the last time you were here. And you also have one of my t-shirts from the time I was in Colorado.” he said as he picked up a gallon of 2% milk.

I stood frozen like a deer in headlights, sputtering, “Wh-what?”

Sidney turned back around, grinning triumphantly at me taking the basket out of my limp arms and tucking it with the milk in it under his own.

“I realized I’d left it shortly after I got back to Pittsburgh,” he began to explain, “I assumed you would bring it the next time you were in town or something. But you didn’t, and everything happened between us. And then when you came back, I was injured and I couldn’t actually talk and make sense of everything. But then Jen called. Never in a million years would I have thought you would have worn it during those months.”

I was racking up quite the list of who I was going to have to take out; now Jen was on the top of my list.

My mouth tried to form words, but I was only able to open and shut my mouth.

“I think it’s cute,” he supplied for me as we still stood still in the dairy aisle, “If I had a Rivers shirt, I’d wear it.”

My face turned red and I shut my eyes, wishing I could just melt into the ground. This man was going to kill me.

“Hey,” he nudged me slightly.

“I can get you a shirt,” I mumbled as I started to walk away back towards the front of the store, still not able to look directly at him.

“Lily,” he said gently.

“What did you end up doing today?” I asked in an attempt to change the subject as we headed to a checkout line.

He sighed before answering, “Just was with the family after you left.”

I couldn’t help but notice there was something behind the way he said those words that made me raise an eyebrow. He shook his head, “Not here. How was G’s?”

“Fine,” I sighed.

“You really don’t like her, do you?” Sid asked tilting his head.

“Not here.” I shook my head as it was our turn to check out.

Sid conversed the normal check-out dialogue with the older woman who scanned the milk. He paid in cash and we left without a bag as he picked up the container as we walked out quickly.

“We need to talk about this morning,” he said as we made our way to his vehicle.

“Not tonight?” I sighed.

I had followed him around to his side of the car and leaned against the Range Rover. We were both standing there blocked by view from any potential curious eyes. I was tired and a little overwhelmed from all of the happenings in the last 24 hours. There was a lot I knew we needed to talk about, but there was an odd realization that we would.

Sidney studied me for a moment, “Not tonight.”

It was my turn to lean up slightly and give him one of the sweet, soft, casual kisses he had given me just fifteen minutes prior.

Notes

Hey Friends!!!

First, all of you on the east coast be safe!!!!
Second, what did you think of the Russian Bear?! Wait till you meet the Russian Mama Bear.....
Third, Happy Belated Canada Day! And Happy Independence Day!