Ifs and Maybes
straight into the mouth of the unknown
Maddy didn’t know whether to be disappointed or angry with him. She waited until the waitress left the table to make her sentiments known to Pat. He immediately took notice and scrunched his eyebrows together.
Was he that dense?
“Do you really have to drink tonight?” she heavily sighed and ran a hand through her hair.
“It’s one drink Madds, not that big of a deal. I just want to unwind.” He shrugged his shoulders. In return, she slightly huffed to herself.
“Can you ever just spend one night with me, completely sober?” Maddy quietly snapped back at him. She didn't mean to say it aloud, but it was something shit couldn't hold in any longer. Pat had no idea where this sudden anger was coming from and he didn’t appreciate it one bit.
“It’s one drink. And we don’t have very many nights to ourselves in the first place Maddy.” His voice rose a bit, a clear sign that she was beginning to weigh down on his post-win high.
“And whose fault is that, Pat?” she glared back at him. He just didn’t seem to understand that the problem lied in the fact that he spent most of his nights at the bars rather than with her. She wasn’t clingy by any means, but she hardly saw him enough as it was.
The waitress appeared again and Patrick plastered a fake smile on his face while she dropped off their drinks. As soon as she left, his growing anger returned and he glared at Maddy from across the table.
“I have a job that requires me to be gone a lot. You’ve known that from the very beginning. Don’t even try to throw that in my face,” he practically growled.
“Maybe if you spent a little less time at the bars while you’re actually home, this wouldn’t even be a problem.”
Maddy knew by the way his whole demeanor changed, she had touched a nerve; possibly even offended him in someway. After his drunken stint in Madison a few years back, the topic of bars and drinking had been a sensitive subject. But she had finally said what had been on her mind for weeks and she felt a sense of relief.
“Patrick, please,” she sighed once more and held up her hand to surrender. She knew she wasn’t getting anywhere with him and this definitely was not the time nor place to have this sort of conversation. “I don’t want to argue. Let’s just enjoy dinner and what little time we actually have together.”
The two spent very little time talking throughout the remainder of their time in the restaurant. There was an obvious tension between them. Things were getting progressively worse and Maddy didn’t understand why things had suddenly changed. All she wanted to do was get back the Pat she had first fallen in love with.
She was surprised when Pat clasped her hand in his as they left the restaurant. He guided her not towards the parking lot, but the boardwalk not far off.
They leisurely strolled, hand in hand, toward the railing that guarded the public from the water. Once there, Pat positioned Maddy in front of him and then put his arms around her waist, pulling her into him.
She was tense at first, but soon relaxed into his arms.
Pat lowered his head and softly kissed her neck.
“I’m sorry for yelling at you earlier,” he whispered into her ear. Any lingering anger she held toward him faded away at an instant.
“I just want to spend time with you Pat,” she murmured, intentionally not reciprocating an apology. She wasn’t sorry for what she said, because it was all true. “You hardly have time for me anymore.”
Pat let out a sigh and held her even tighter.
“I’m sorry. I’ll try to spend less time out and more time at home with you when I can.”
Maddy nodded her head, but couldn’t help but question whether or not this was just another empty promise.
He turned her in his arms to face him and pressed his lips gently against hers.
“I know I don’t say it enough, but I love you Madds,” he murmured as he brushed her hair out of her face and kissed her once more. Her cheeks began to turn a shade of red and butterflies erupted in her stomach.
She reached up and stroked his cheek, feeling him lean into her touch.
“I love you too Patty.”
She happily sighed as they returned to their original position, as she leaned back into his chest. He wrapped his arms snuggly around her waist and both stared out into water. Every so often Pat would kiss the side of her head and Maddy couldn’t help but think that this was a small reminder that the man she had fallen in love with hadn’t quite disappeared after all.
College has taken over my life and I haven't had anytime to write. However, this story has been on my mind a lot lately and I needed to write. So here ya go!