Never Again

** PATRICK'S POV **


"Ma'am, can you tell us what happened?"

Silence. No words had left Lacey's mouth since she regained consciousness ten minutes ago, in her hospital bed. Upon seeing her on her own bed, I immediately dialed 9-1-1. I had no idea what had happened to her and I couldn't stop the tears that fell from my eyes when I took in her body. Nothing appeared to be physically broken, but she was clearly severely beat. She was also completely in the nude, implying a potential rape. As I took in her naked body, I couldn't help but think back to all the times that I've fantasized seeing Lacey in her most exposed, beautiful self, but this definitely wasn't what I had imagined. I imagined an intimate evening to end a perfect day, where I could physically express how strongly I felt about her so she can relax around me without a doubt in her mind about where our relationship was going. I wanted our first time together to reassure her that she wasn't just another girl to me, but then again I had no idea what she knew of my past. I assume that she doesn't know much, and that's perfectly fine to me. She doesn't need to know about my history of treating girls with less respect than they deserve. I wanted to put clothes on her exposed body to make the sight easier on me, but I didn't want to risk hurting her so I waited for the paramedics to arrive.

Immediately upon their arrival, they called for police backup. They explained to me that her bedroom was now a crime scene; because there was no way that her injuries could have been self-inflicted. A part of me was relieved that she didn't do this to herself, but then again I didn't really think that she would have done it to begin with. After I let that sink in, I looked around the bedroom for the first time-- I had kept my eyes on Lacey's face and my strong hand holding hers, waiting for her to come around. I noticed that her clothes were carelessly scattered beside her bed, and that they were no longer intact. They appeared to have been cut off. A pair of scissors looked to be responsible for that, as there was a pair sitting on the bedside desk. Also, her window was open. Her apartment was on the 4th floor, and the paramedics explained to me that the intruder could have easily used the window as a secure method of escape.

Once the police arrived to take pictures of the scene and question me about what happened, the paramedics decided that they were going to take her to the hospital for further x-rays, despite them thinking that there was no damage to her body other than the bruises. They also explained to me that if she was seen by a doctor within 4 hours of the incident, they could determine if a rape had occurred by detecting if there had been any semen injected into her body recently. This was a procedure that needed consent from the patient, but since she was unconscious that decision was left to me. I would have much rather called her parents or even Grace to make that decision, but when her phone was found shattered on the floor, all ways of me getting their phone numbers had vanished, so I approved it for her. I didn't want to because the doctors said that it could be slightly painful, but when they explained that it would allow the police to formally charge her intruder with rape once they found him, I let them do it. I wanted to kill the bastard myself, but since I couldn't do that, I wanted him to rot in prison for as long as legally possible. No one deserves this to happen to them, especially Lacey. Sweet, beautiful Lacey. She was lying in her hospital bed with one of her eyes swelled shut and purple circles forming everywhere on her body, more tears began to flow down my face. I should have been able to protect her, but I was unable to. We've only been dating for a day, and I've already failed her as her boyfriend. I would live with that guilt forever.

As soon as she woke up, she instantly screamed and retracted her hand from mine, alarming her doctors and the nurses surrounding the room. I knew that there was usually some trauma involved in physical attacks, so I opted to pay for a room alone so she could express whatever emotions she was feeling without having to worry about her bed neighbor creeping on her. After the doctors took note of her vitals and declared her stable and okay to talk, the policemen came in to her room to get her side of the story, bringing us to where we are now.

"Ma'am, we understand that you have just endured a very traumatic situation, but you need to help us, help you. We can't arrest your attacker unless we have an official statement from you."
I reached out to squeeze her hand in hopes of encouraging her to speak up and tell us all what happened, but before I could even graze her fingers, she moved her hand back and hissed out in protest of the pain that came with the sudden movement. The officers tried to get her to talk from the moment she woke up until now, and they realized that they weren't going to get anything from her any time soon. I exchanged numbers with the head officer and I promised that I would call him with the story as soon as I got it, since my re-telling of her words would legally hold up due to my involvement in the case. Once they cleared out of Lacey's room, I looked straight in her eyes in attempts to read them-- They were usually so easy to read and they were my favorite part of her to look at, but tonight I couldn't see a damn thing. She refused to make eye contact with me, and I knew that I would be in for a long night.

♦ ♦ ♦

I spent the night in an extremely uncomfortable arm chair near her bed. No words were spoken between Lacey and I, but I stayed the entire night anyway-- there was no way I would be leaving her side anytime soon, especially with so many questions that needed answers. At some point in the night, the doctor came by to tell me that she had not been raped, and that I probably walked in her apartment at the perfect time forcing the intruder to jump out of her window. This news allowed me to rest a little easier, knowing that I had done [i] something [/i] to help and protect her, but it still wasn't enough. He also explained to me that the reason for Lacey rejecting any physical contact from me was that she was scared to be touched by a man after what had happened to her, and I was told not to take it personally. With the doctor's reassurance, I was able to doze off for around an hour or two until I was awoken to the sounds of sniffles coming from Lacey's direction. I sleepily lifted my head towards where the sniffles were coming from, and I saw her staring at me, tears streaming down her cheeks. I had never woken up as fast as I had in that moment and I rushed to her bedside.

A few whispers escaped her lips, "Pat, stop." I froze in my tracks. "I'm okay to talk, but..please don't touch me. I'm so, so sorry that I'm putting you through this. You don't have to stay with me, I know that I'm not worth the trouble, but if you want to know what happened, you at least deserve that so.. I'll tell you, if you want."

I wanted to cry again, this beautiful woman thought that I would leave her over this. Hell no. No way, no how. I wanted nothing more than to scoop her up in my arms and rub her back reassuringly, all while wiping the tears from her face, but I couldn't. I wanted to give her the utmost respect, especially given the current situation, so I sat back down in my chair and rubbed my fingers through my curls before speaking.

My voice was heavy with the pain that was in my heart. "Lacey." Silence. "Lacey, look at me, please. Come on, beautiful. Look at me. It's okay, I won't hurt you. I promise." Her gaze slowly shifted from the floor and met mine, and for a moment we just looked into each other's tear-filled eyes. "I promise you that I am not going anywhere. I will stay here with you until you get out, and then I will stay with you as long or as short as you want me to. Everything is completely up to you-- how long you want me to stay, what you want to tell me, and what you want to do. The only think that you absolutely cannot do is get me to leave you permanently, because I physically cannot do that. Please don't apologize for anything, okay?"

Although no words actually replied to my statement, I saw her mouth the word "okay" right back. It looked like she needed a few moments to collect her thoughts and find her voice, which I nervously granted her. The last thing that I wanted to do was wait any longer to find out who would hurt her and why, and waiting was proving to be a major challenge to me. All my life I was used to people waiting on me, not the other way around, but my mom warned me that I would have to be more patient. I had called her after Lacey fell back asleep last night, and I told her everything. She was beyond happy that I had found a girl who made me want to change my ways in such a short period of time, but she was horrified at what had happened. She gave me all the motherly advice that I asked her for and she even gave her approval in regards to me missing a few games to make sure that Lacey was okay once she got out of the hospital. Lacey cleared her throat, bringing my head back to the hospital room and my focus back on her. "I don't know how much I'll be able to tell you without full on sobbing, but I'll try to tell you as much as I can.

This was fine by me because I knew that she had two broken ribs and I could only assume that sobbing would cause her both physical and emotional pain. I smiled at her encouragingly, "of course."

♦ ♦ ♦

When Lacey was done telling me everything that had happened to her, my hands were gripping that chair hard enough to break bones, wishing that I had Alex's neck between my fingers instead of the fabric. I was beyond fuming and I was hopelessly confused; who on earth would abuse Lacey [i] repeatedly? [/i] She told me that back in Québec, Alex and her had dated for a few months, and had even moved in together for a few weeks before the beatings started. They would be small at first, like him pinching her arms to make her focus more on a conversation and then they eventually escalated to him slapping her across the face, which according to her, was as worse as it got up until last night. She packed all of her things and fled as far away as she could from him, which is what brought her to Chicago. She managed to get out the entirety of the evening's events without sobbing, which I was happy for. I didn't want to have to put any pieces together in my head or have any lingering questions, but I didn't want to force anything out of her or have her be in pain either. She told me everything from when she sent me the last text, up until the moment when she was knocked out and where her memory went blank. As per her request, I didn't fill her in on any of the things that were suspected to have happened to her after she became unconscious, saying that she wanted to save that conversation for another day when she was feeling a little better. I was relieved that she felt that way since I didn't want to have to think about the bastard about to enter her love cave against her will, let alone have to tell her about it. The only thing that was unclear to me was why Alex became abusive in the first place, but like the events that occurred after she lost consciousness, I decided that was also a conversation to be saved for a better day.

By the end of the story, Lacey and I were both crying and I [i] ever so slowly [/i] reached out and touched her fingers. She didn't pull back which I took as a good sign, but she did let out a heavy sigh as she intertwined our hands. "I don't want you to go anywhere, Patrick, but can we please take this slow? I mean, I know I said I wanted to take it slow before, but can we please go a little bit slower? Just until I feel better..." she trailed off and looked into my eyes, waiting for me to answer. I lifted her hand up to my lips, pressed a sweet kiss there and let my lips linger before replying "anything for you", and I watched her mouth form the first smile I had seen from her in a few days before we both drifted off to sleep hand in hand.

Notes

So essentially I've decided that I'm never going to tell you guys when to expect an update because then I feel awful when I don't get one up on time. I swear to you all I had the complete intention to wake up the past two days and write this before I even ate breakfast, but then I looked out my window and saw the beautiful weather and the next think you knew I was floating in my pool for the past 48 hours.
That being said, I'm soooooooooo sorry this took that long! I'll try not to give you guys any more major cliffhangers for awhile and I will promise you that the next chapter will be nice and fluffy.
As always, thanks to all the commenters, readers, and subscribers!! You guys make this completely worth it.
Happy reading!
-S