Because You're Home

Leah read the letter out loud again to Kylie, just to make sure she had read it right.

Lee,

I know we haven’t spoken in a while but I’d like you to know that maybe one day we’ll find our way. Maybe one day we’ll find a peace for all the harm we’ve caused. Maybe one day if we cross, I’ll remember why I fell so deep into you and I’ll remember how much the sun loved you, enough to follow you and forever leave me in darkness.

Jon

Leah and Kylie looked at each other, stunned that a) Jonathan had actually written that letter, he wasn’t much of a writer and b) that three years ago Jonathan didn’t send the letter.

“I would have been back so fast if he had sent that letter three years ago,” Leah said, not taking her gaze away from Jonathans scribbles.

Kylie looked at her friend; she could tell that Leah wasn’t happy, at least without Jonathan.

Jonathan had dropped one rose off everyday since Leah had stormed out of his apartment two weeks ago. Normally there would be chocolates or game tickets, which Leah never used. But today, today it was an unsent letter from Jonathan to Leah. A letter that changed her whole plan.

Leah grabbed her cell phone and quickly pulled up Patrick’s number, growing more and more impatient with each ring.

“What do you want?”

Normally Leah would think of some witty comeback to say, but she was too focused, “I need tickets for the game tonight.”

Patrick was sitting in the locker room, just getting done with morning skate, and he looked towards his captain. Jonathan was across the room from him, just getting out of the shower and he looked more chipper than usual. It didn’t take much for Patrick to assume that the smile on Jonathans face had something to do with Leah.

Patrick smiled before telling Leah that the tickets would be at will call for her. Leah quickly thanked Patrick before hanging her phone up and running up the stairs, towards her bathroom.

Kylie smiled before yelling up to Leah, “You know that you don’t need to do anything but show up, right?”

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Jonathan had to admit that he was hoping Leah would be sitting outside his apartment, waiting for him to get home from practice just to tell him that she forgave him and that she loved him.

But when Jonathan stepped out of the elevator and saw the ground near his door vacant, he sighed a little, letting his face visibly fall.

He had hoped that the letter would show Leah that he had never really stopped loving her, but she already knew that, she just no longer thought he was the same man that had loved her three years ago.

Jonathan would be lying if he said she was wrong.

He wasn’t the same person anymore, but then again neither was Leah.

Jonathan grabbed a water out of his fridge, before shrugging his jacket off and walking back towards his room. He had made multiple plans, some involved going and kidnapping Leah, some involved dropping game day tickets off so he could see her that night, and others involved just giving Leah time.

Jonathan chose the latter.

Forcing Leah into things was never her style; she had to see for herself that Jonathan was a changed man. So he came up with a new plan.

He would casually drop by her place after the game, say he was just in the neighborhood (they both would know he wasn’t) and then they would idly chat (if she let him in) and at the end of the night Jonathan would leave with Leah knowing he was different, but a good different.

Jonathan nodded his head at himself to solidify the plan and went into his pregame nap planning everything out to a T.

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Leah had been nervously biting her nails, something she had recently started doing again since she had been back in Chicago. Kylie was sitting next to Leah, staring at her friend and wondering if she was going to need an ambulance.

“You aren’t going to have any nail left if you keep doing that.”

Leah looked at Kylie and smiled, taking her hand out of her mouth. Kylie just chuckled to herself.

Leah didn’t really know what she was going to say to Jonathan when she saw him after the game. She had a plethora of options but none of them seemed right, at least for the situation.

She most certainly didn’t want to say that she loved Jonathan, not that she didn’t, but because that wouldn’t solve any problems. She didn’t want to say that she forgave him because he didn’t do anything that needed forgiving. He loved hockey and that wasn’t a crime. He may have broken her heart, but she knew that she had broken his as well.

So for most of the game, and by most of the game it meant the entire game, Leah sat watching Jonathan play. Flinching when someone would hit him, and then smiling to herself when he would get back up and keep playing. She had spent a better half of her twenties watching Jonathan play, and she wanted to spend the rest of her life doing so.

When the Blackhawks skated off the ice, clenching a win against the Minnesota Wild, Leah sat still in her seat. Watching Jonathan give all his teammates a fist bump, or a tap on the head, and then she watched him disappear into the tunnel.

Leah had 60 minutes to think of her plan. To try and figure out her and Jonathan, which she came to realize was impossible.

“Leah?”

Leah looked towards Kylie, not realizing that everyone in the United Center had already left. She smiled, grabbed her purse and then made her way up the stairs and towards the exit.

Kylie started walking towards the elevator to take them downstairs and to the Family and Friends Lounge, stopping when she saw that Leah was searching frantically for an exit sign, “Where are you going?”

Leah didn’t stop at the sound her friends voice; she just kept moving, replying as she went, “Home.”

Kylie shook her head at Leah, knowing full well that she was scared. Scared that Jonathan was going to take her back. Scared that Jonathan wasn’t going to take her back. Although they both knew she was more scared of the latter.

Kylie walked towards Leah, grabbing her wrist, “Leah I am not going to watch you do this to yourself anymore. You love the man that is sitting in the locker room downstairs right now more than you love yourself, which I find insane, but most people call that love.”

Leah blinked back tears, not quite ready to submerse herself in her emotions, Kylie continued, “You have two options here. One is the future to your happiness and the other is the future to your despair. You can either get in that elevator with me and go tell Jonathan that you love him, or you can walk out those doors.”

Leah looked at her best friend, knowing full well that she was going to follow Kylie downstairs to wait for Jonathan to come out of the locker room. Because she wanted happiness and she wanted love and she wanted Jonathan.

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Jonathan was fixing his tie, and he was, perusal, the last one to leave the locker room. Jonathan grabbed his bag, and put his phone in his pocket.

The game had given him the courage to actually go and get Leah back tonight. He wasn’t going to tell her he was coming over, and he wasn’t going to leave when he got inside her apartment. Not until she promised to hear him out and then get back together with him.

He was going to undeniably force her into another relationship with him because he knew they both wanted it. They were just both too scared to reach for it.

Jonathan opened the door to walk into the Family Lounge, keeping his head down like he normally did when he wanted people not to bug him. He only looked up when he had to find Patrick, who was his ride home.

He did indeed find Patrick, talking to Kylie, and then when Patrick moved a little to the left Jonathan could see Leah. Her mouth slightly open in a smile, and Jonathan could have sworn that his heart skipped a beat.

Leah looked around the room, searching for the only body she came here for, and was about to look back at Patrick when she saw Jonathan. He was near the doors that lead to the locker room, looking back at her. Leah excused herself from Patrick and Kylies conversation, and made the few steps from where she as standing to where Jonathan was glued to the ground, not quite knowing if he was dreaming or not.

Leah stopped about a foot in front of him, something she only did when she was serious. She spoke quietly, “Hi.”

Jonathan smiled down at her, breathing in that vanilla smell he loved so much, “Hi.”

It was simple. Everything with Leah had been simple. Jonathan grabbed her hand and led her back into the locker room, not wanting to deal with the prying eyes.

Once inside the locker room, Jonathan looked around to make sure all the coaches had gone home. When he was satisfied with his search he turned back towards Leah, who was standing near his locker.

Jonathan was the first to speak, “I’m tired of this game Lee.”

Leah flinched at the sound of her nickname, “I am too.”

Jonathan moved closer to her, “So then let me back in, give me another chance. I hurt you, and that is something that I will never forgive myself for, but I love you and I can’t do this without you anymore.”

Leah could feel her cheeks start to get moist, “I promised myself that I wasn’t going to say that I loved you, because I wanted us to start fresh and start new but it’s a lot harder than I thought it was going to be.”

Jonathan moved so he was able to bring his large hand up to Leah’s face and use his thumb to brush the tears away. Leah leaned into his palm, something she had always done, “You were right, I stopped being the Jonathan you fell in love with a long time ago, but I liked that guy and I want him back and I want you back.”

Leah chuckled to herself, “I made a life without you and you made a life without me and I’m scared that those lives can’t connect like they did three years ago.”

Jonathan nodded his head, “We’re different people, but we’re still us Lee, we never stopped being us, as much as you want to deny it. We’ve been in love with each other for a long time, we were supposed to be together for a long time too, and I don’t know about you but three years of being together was not a long enough for me.”

“So what is a long time for you Jonathan Toews?” Leah smiled; Jonathan moved forward and kissed her forehead.

“Forever Lee.”

Leah looked up at Jonathan, knowing that all the barriers she had brought up against him were slowly crumbling with each word he said. And she could feel them all dissolve when Jonathan leaned down and slowly brushed his lips against hers.

“Are you gonna say it now?”

Leah smiled against Jonathans mouth, rolling her eyes, but knowing that she wasn’t lying when she said “I love you Jonathan Toews,” Jonathan crashed his lips onto Leah’s, like water filling the desert after a drought, he pulled away to admire her, “God only knows why.”

Jonathan chuckled to himself before bringing his lips back to Leah’s, and after all that time, they still tasted like strawberries.

Notes

Merry Christmas to those whole celebrate it and to those who don't Happy Holidays! Hopefully this satisfies any hunger you guys have been feeling about me not updating (which I am horrible at doing).

The story is not over though, but I thought it was about time Jonathan and Leah stopped playing their games and got back together.

Hopefully it won't be so long for me to update again, but no promises :(

xoxo