Hopeless Wanderer

Carrie sat back against the cool leather seats in Jen's car and closed her eyes. She wasn't looking forward to this trip to her sister's house. Kathleen's sister-in-law decided to throw her a sprinkle since she was having a girl and Carrie didn't want any part of a shower. She had refused to help plan the shower in the first place, but she couldn't just not be there. So after some careful discussion, Carrie was convinced to go by her sister and her mother. She would have rather been in bed sleeping as she hadn't really gotten much since returning home from Vegas.

"So, what's going on?" Jen asked nonchalantly.

"Just tired. Not looking forward to this," Carrie sighed and opened her eyes to watch the road in front of them.

"Why?" Jen asked not considering who was not excited for a day celebrating the new addition to her friends' life.

"Because I'm going to get women that I barely know asking me how I am adjusting. And giving me sympathy eyes and mumbling to each other under their breaths how it's such a shame that she lost her son at such a young age. Because it does suck. Not a day goes by that I don't wish I had either of them with me to take care of. But, you know, shit happens. I can't keep living in the past. And I can't keep having people remind me of it either."

"That's why you left."

"Yeah. And I know I didn't go far. At the time I couldn't afford to. But I like where my life is heading now." Even if she couldn't really talk about it.

"With Sidney?" Jen asked then bit her lip. She promised Kath she wouldn't bring up that she suspected something.

"What?" Carrie asked with a hint of trepidation in her voice.

"Oh nothing. What did you get the baby?" Jen tried to change the subject.

"Kath told you what we heard him telling the boys, huh?" Carrie asked changing the subject back.

"Sort of. Carrie, do you know what you are doing?"

"What do you mean?" Carrie asked.

"You're sleeping with your boss."

Carrie took in what Jen said and after a spell erupted into raucous laughter. Mostly to cover that Jen suspected something between she and Sid, but also because it sounded so ridiculous coming from someone other than her or Sidney.

"What? I saw you two the other night. I refrained from saying anything and I want you to know that I don't disapprove of it. I just don't want you to get hurt. You've gone through a lot."

"Jen, we aren't sleeping together."

"What?" She sounded surprised by Carrie's revelation.

"Alright, I'm going to be perfectly honest with you because you've become one of my best friends and confidants. Sidney and I are exploring the option of being a couple. But we haven't had sex. Have we slept in the same bed? Yes. For the first time Tuesday night. We went back to my room and my intention was to sleep with him. But he's seriously been a complete gentleman and he's the one who wants to wait for that. For when we are certain of our feelings."

"Wow...really?"

"Yeah."

"Really? Sidney?"

"He's a reformed man. Who wants to be in a relationship with me but is willing to wait for such intimate moments. Although, we almost crossed the line Tuesday. We definitely saw each other naked. It makes me laugh because it's as though we are some scared to go to third base high school kids."

"Wow. You like him?"

"Yeah, I do."

"And he's okay with everything?"

"He's the only person who I find it easy to talk about my boys with."

"Okay, I have to apologize. I just thought you two were sleeping together with no real feelings on one or both ends. I didn't know you two were fostering something this deep."

"Yeah, but you can't tell anyone! Please!"

"Alright I promise, but we are going to have to have a chat with your sister. I called her when I saw you Tuesday."

"Ugh, Jen!"

"What? She wasn't surprised. It makes sense though."

"Alright, no telling my mom. She is going to be an emotional wreck today. I can feel it already."

"My lips are sealed."

*****
"Ah! Fuck!" Sid yelled at the television screen as his character on the video game was shot down and died. Marc Andre Fluery just laughed hysterically at Sid's reaction.

"You really suck at this. You need to just give up this and stick to your sport man," Marc razzed as he fell back against the leather sofa in Sid's game room.

"It's my only weakness. I cannot get it right ever. I think it's because I never played growing up." Sid leaned back too and watched the credits scroll across the screen.

"So where is the assistant? Give her the summer off?" Marc asked.

"Carrie is at her sister's house for the day. They are throwing her something called a sprinkle? Whatever the hell that is." Sid looked at his phone as it lit up with a text message. It was from Carrie and what she said brought a huge grin to his face.

"You like her?" Marc asked.

"What? No, I mean...no," Sid stuttered. He was caught, that was for sure.

"Shit man, I meant as an employee. But you fucking stuttered like crazy just now. You like her."

Sid blew it. He was discovered, now he had to tell his friend. He sighed and said, "Don't tell anyone! Please! We are kinda seeing each other."

"What do you mean kinda?"

"I mean we are dating, but not anything serious. I mean, it could potentially be serious. We live in the same house, you know. But oh god is this insane?"

"For you? Yes."

"Ugh!" Sid groaned and rubbed a hand across his face.

"But honestly, it's seems pretty perfect."

"What do you mean?"

"You get to learn early on what will make this thing work or whether you don't want it to."

"Oh, I'm pretty sure I want it to work. She does things to me that no woman has ever done before."

"If you're talking sexual favors it's because she is hot, older which means more experience, and a definite cougar."

"We haven't slept together yet."

"What? Shut the fuck up!"

"No, I'm being serious. I mean I've seen her and she has an amazing body. But we haven't bumped uglies, not for lack of want that's for damn sure. I just don't want her to think I want sex and she is convenient since she is right there."

"And it doesn't help that the last guy she slept with was her husband."

"I have a lot to live up to I guess."

"How long was she with her husband?"

"Seven years, married just shy of three years when he died. They had a five month old who died too."

"Awe damn! I didn't know all that. Fuck, that sucks."

"Yeah."

"You definitely have to make this, whatever it is, special. I'm going to go home to hug my child now," Marc said as he stood and started for the front door. He gave Sid a handshake and let himself out, leaving Sid to consider how he was going to show Carrie that he didn't want her because she was convenient for him.

*****
"I need a fucking drink," Carrie mumbled under her breath as she walked from the backyard of her sister's house where tents were set up for the shower to her kitchen. She found Jeremy standing there when she got there, which only irritated her more.

"Hey," he said without glancing up from his phone.

"How are the boys not destroying this party or another part of the house while you stand there on your phone?"

"Your dad took them to the movies," he said ignoring the sarcasm.

"Oh."

"How are.." He got cut off as he placed his phone in his jeans pocket.

"NO! Do not finish that question when you know damn well I didn't want to be here. Not that I didn't want to see my family. It's everyone else who doesn't know how I've adjusted." She sighed and leaned against the counter, her back seen through the window to the outside.

"I was going to ask how are you not stumbling drunk yet. But you escaping in here with that attitude and sarcasm only means nonalcoholic beverages, huh?"

"Bingo. Do you have champagne to mix with the orange juice?"

"Why yes, I do. It may be a dry shower, but your sister knows you better than anyone. She made me pick up some for only you last night on my way home." He reached into the fridge and pulled out an unopened bottle of champagne and began opening the bottle.

"Your mom too much to handle?" Jeremy asked as he poured the contents of the bottle into a glass with orange juice.

"She is, surprisingly, being well-behaved. She has asked me when I am going to just give up what I am doing and move down to South Carolina with her and my dad."

"Nice. Never going to happen. Kath is holding out for you to come back here. She won't tell you that though."

"I'll come back when the boys stop kicking my shins."

Jeremy laughed loudly at this. "Well, I better go out there and oh and ah over pink, frilly things."

"You have no idea what you are getting into with this one."

"Hey thanks for the support!" Carrie laughed as Jeremy turned to her when he walked out the door and flipped her off.

She stayed out of the backyard for the remainder of the shower and stayed in the family room as guests left. She was still there when Jen and Kath found her a couple hours later.

"Thanks for the baby blanket," Kath said as she plopped down next to Carrie.

"Where's Mom?" She avoided answering the question. She may have avoided the little celebration, but she was happy her sister was getting a little girl and spent much of her free time knitting a blanket in the colors Kath picked out for the nursery.

"Running around with the boys in the front yard. They want to go swimming so I think she and Dad are going to get in the water with them."

"Did you finish this whole bottle of champagne?" Jen asked skeptically. She lifted the empty bottle to show Kathleen.

"Maybe. I mixed it with orange juice. And I ate off the leftover sandwich tray so don't you two start thinking I'm avoiding food and wasting my calories on alcohol. I never really drink anyway."

"This was harder than we thought it would be, huh?" Kath asked.

Carrie nodded and bit her lip to hold back tears. She curled up in her sister's side and felt a little calm as her sister held her close. "I'm sorry if my being a barracuda ruined things."

"Oh god no! You did what you needed to do and I'm grateful that you even tried to come here today. I know Mom and I pushed you into it."

"It's fine."

"Is it still alright that we all come up tomorrow and see where you live/work and go to the zoo?"

"Sidney wants to cook out for you guys. He's excited to meet everybody. But, just so you know he will be acting as my boss so don't let on that you know there is more there."

"What are you talking about?" Kath asked sounding surprised which in turn made Carrie roll her eyes and Jen stifle a laugh.

"Please, I know you know. Jen told me!"

"Thanks Jen," she said deadpan making Carrie giggle. "I think he will be good for you."

"I agree. He may have had a slight wild streak there, but he's such a calm and collected person," Jen said.

"Thanks, now if only I could get into his pants," Carrie griped making Kathleen groan in slight horror. "What? A woman has needs!"

*****
It was nearing nine when Carrie walked through the front door of Sidney's house. It was quiet from what she could tell, and she was tired from the day. She didn't want to make an effort to find out whether Sid was there or not, so she chose to just go up to her little sanctuary, change out of her uncomfortable dress and throw on some shorts to lounge around her room in.

She climbed the steps slowly and stopped halfway to remove her wedge sandals. She kicked them to the side, not caring to pick them up and finished her venture to the second floor. Glancing briefly towards Sid's room, she had a fleeting curious thought that maybe he was in there waiting to hear from her. She had texted only once earlier that day to say she would have preferred bed with him to the party she flaked out on.

She turned towards her room and quietly opened the door to find a soft glow of candlelight cascading across the room. Rose petals were scattered across the floor and a note was folded neatly on the bed. She unfolded the note and saw Sidney's scribble tell her to enjoy the relaxation he provided for her. Confused, she turned towards the bathroom and found the candles and roses continued in there and she could hear the sound of her tub being filled with water. She followed the light and sound to find Sidney sitting on the tub's edge adding bubbles and various bath salts to the steamy water.

"The woman at the body shop said this combination will help anyone calm and forget the worries of the day," he said when he heard the door creak slightly. "And I know today sucked for you." He turned to look at her and smiled.

"This is amazing. A fire hazard, but amazing."

"Why do you think I stayed in here?" He asked as he stood from his position and followed her movements with his eyes. Carrie walked to the tub, dipped her hand in the warm water and took a deep breath. The scents that flooded her nostrils did have a calming effect she had decided. Or maybe it was just being home with Sidney that calmed her.

"Will you join me?" Carrie asked as she reached for the side zipper on her dress to remove the offending clothing. Sid didn't reply, instead he helped Carrie with her zipper and kissed the exposed skin on her shoulder as the dress fell down her arms and into a pool around her feet.

He took a shaky breath as her fingers found the button snap on his jeans and immediately popped it open. He never responded so she asked again, "Will you?"

"I'm letting you undress me, aren't I?" He asked with a bit of sass in his voice. She smirked as her fingers brushed against the front of his boxer briefs and felt he was getting excited. The sharp intake of breath let her know he wasn't expecting such a bold move. She pushed his pants down his hips, then slid them under his old gray t-shirt and across his solid abs.

"Lift up your arms," she said without breaking eye contact. He did as he was told and let her toss the shirt off and across the floor. He instantly wrapped his arms around her back and crushed her body to his in a tight hug. He touched his lips to hers in a brief kiss then pulled back enough to look into her chocolate colored eyes.

"Let's get in while it's still warm," he whispered. They quickly removed the rest of their clothes and Sid stepped into the soaker tub first, taking hold of Carrie's hand to help her in and settle her back against his chest.

"Thank you for all of this. Today did kind of suck. But I got to see my dad which was nice. He's always making me smile even when my mom can drive me crazy. And everyone is excited for the zoo tomorrow."

"Good, and they are coming back here afterwards for dinner and swimming right?"

"Yes."

"Awesome. I'm looking forward to it."

"They don't... They don't know about us. I didn't tell them."

"I know."

"Kathleen knows because Jen does."

"What?" Sidney was slightly worried that someone on the Pens staff knew he was seeing Carrie.

"Jen saw us on Tuesday night when we stumbled through the lobby. She is keeping her mouth shut. But she spilled it to Kath that night. The three of us talked and they both promised their lips are sealed."

"Well, then you should know I spilled the beans to Flower earlier. He asked how I liked you working for me and I misinterpreted it. He was all over it after that. I had to come clean. He's good at keeping his promises so I know he won't say anything either."

Carrie quieted and leaned further into Sidney's embrace. His hands ran down her shoulders and rested against her tummy, their journey causing goosebumps along the way. "I needed this," she said quietly.

"Mm, I could tell. I'm happy to have helped you relax tonight."

"Sleep with me tonight," Carrie said, twining her fingers together with his.

"Haven't I slept with you all week?" He planted a sloppy kiss to her cheek.

"Noo!" Carrie whined, making Sidney laugh. He liked how she whined. He liked everything about her. She turned between his legs to face him, bubbles shifting and some water lapping over the side of the tub. Her hands traced his collarbone before circling around his neck. "Make love to me, please."

Sidney liked the sound of that. Not fucking, not some mindless sex, but sex with feelings. And with a beautiful woman who was asking him. How could he deny her now? He didn't respond, instead chose to show Carrie that he would do just as she asked.

Notes

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