“NATIONAL CHAMPION!!!!!” Pat yells as soon as I answer my phone, making me giggle. “I’m so fucking proud of you, Tor.”
“Thanks, Pat.” I laugh, thinking about my dominating win yesterday at Nationals. It felt so damn good to shut up all the people who have been speculating about my reservations so far this season. Amazing to prove to them that I’m still the same high-level diver that I’ve been for this country for a couple of years now.
“Seriously, I watched the whole thing. No one else even had a chance at beating you. Not even Aubrey. You were just so good!”
“Ahh I’m not that good.” I waiver, though it’s certainly nice to hear Pat saying so. “Bree’s back hasn’t been feeling great, so she wasn’t at her best. We’re both glad we have a little break now.”
“A little break to come see me!” He laughs.
“Of course. We’ll both be there soon.” I promise. “That’s actually why I called. The guys ended up leaving this morning to drive the seven hours to Nick’s house. So.... Bree and I looked up flights and found one tonight....”
“You’re coming here early?” Pat asks, excitedly.
“If that’s okay with you.” I answer hesitantly.
“Of course it’s okay with me! I get to see my favorite Buckeyes just a little bit sooner.”
“Good. We land at eleven tonight. We can get a cab and meet you at your place.”
“We should be done with media by that time so Jonny and I will be waiting.”

I say goodbye to Pat and hang up. Now all I have to do is pack.

Twelve hours later, Aubrey and I let ourselves into Pat’s apartment with my key. Pat texted me right after we landed to say that he and Jon were forced to spend a little more time with the media than they thought. After their absolute desolation of the Hurricanes, I’m not surprised. They both had four points on the night, Pat with two goals and twos assists and Jon with a goal and three assists. But the good news is they’re on their way.

The week with Jon and Pat here in Chicago is exactly as I thought it would be-- simply awesome. Aubrey and I are guests of honor in the family suite at the games, welcomed with open arms by Abby and the other women. Neither of us have to pay for any of our meals or our drinks when we go out, which is a nice treat. And apparently our popularity within the city and the hockey community is growing, since there’ an article on Deadspin about our “double date” one night, which makes us all laugh. It’s even funnier considering they think that Pat and I are together, and that Aubrey and Jon are a thing.

On one of the last nights, Jon and I decide to give Aubrey and Pat a night alone, so I head over to his apartment around dinner time with a wink to my cousin and best friend. When I get to Jon’s, he’s almost got our food cooked and ready to go.

“You’d make such a good boyfriend.” I admit, marveling at how delicious his chicken marsala is on the first bite.
“Why? Because I can cook?” He asks.
“Well, partially.” I laugh. “But more than that. You’re a great guy, Jon. I hope you know that, and I hope you find a woman who can appreciate what she’s got.”
“Thanks.” He blushes. “I feel the same way about you.... Speaking of which. How’s the love life?” Now it’s my turn to blush, and he notices immediately. “What? Is there someone?” He’s instantly interested.
“Well....” I trail off.
“There totally is! You have to tell me.” He demands, excited like a little kid on Christmas.
“I- Look, it’s not like I actually have a shot with him.” I state, shaking my head. “I just have maybe a little crush on someone...” I pause. “--But I think there’s a possibility he’s already got a girlfriend.” I’m quick to add. “And even if he didn’t, he’s so far out of my league.”
Jon looks at me for a minute, his serious brown eyes taking in everything I’m saying and processing it before responding.
“Pittsburgh or Columbus?” He asks.
“Pittsburgh.”
“Is it a Penguin?” I don’t respond, but I know my blush gives the answer away. “I won’t pressure you for a name.” Jon assures me. “But I want you to know that if you eventually want to talk, you can come to me. I know Kaner would have a field day over it, but I promise I won’t.”
“Thanks, Jonny. I appreciate it.”

I take the opportunity to grab our plates and head into the kitchen, escaping the conversation for a breath of air. By the time we’re done cleaning up, I’m convinced Jon has dropped the subject and the two of us are comfortable enough to pop in a movie and just hang out.

“You know....” Jon starts, pulling my attention away from Leonardo DiCaprio on screen. “I think you’d make an awesome girlfriend. And one day wife.”
“Oh....kay?” I respond, not completely sure where this is going.
“I think if we’re both still single by the time I’m like.... thirty five? ...Yeah, thirty five. If we’re both still single by the time I’m thirty five, we should get married.”
I can’t help but snort with laughter.
“That was the worst marriage proposal I’ve ever received, Jonathan Toews.” I giggle.
“I’m serious!” He insists. “Think about it, okay? My career will be coming to an end, and I’ll want to settle down with someone. We’ll have the flexibility to settle wherever your life is at the time. And then neither of us would have to deal with family asking when we’ll find someone, or being lonely or anything! We could have kids or.... or we could adopt. I’m more than financially stable by myself to do either--or both of those. And then we’d have a family and stuff. You know?”

I realize Jon is being serious about this. And.... and he’s actually put a lot of thought into it. This isn’t just some random thought that popped into his head.

“I-I think....” I sigh. “You would want that with me?” I ask.
“Yeah.” He shrugs. “Obviously right now we’re not right for each other. But you’re a great friend and they always say a great friendship makes a great relationship. So if neither of us finds anyone before then, why not?”
“You’re twenty five now....” I say out loud. “So that’s ten years from now.”
“Exactly. I doubt either of us will still be single by then, let alone both of us. But... Plan B, eh?”
I chuckle, warming up to the idea. It’s not a bad thought, really. To have a backup to make sure I’m not a single loser for the rest of my life.
“Yeah, Jonny. We can be each other’s Plan B.” I finally agree.
“Cool.” His cheeks twist into a smile and he flashes his teeth and I can’t help but laugh along when he starts.
“Definitely the weirdest marriage proposal ever.” I declare.
“My mom says I’m special.” He laughs.

A couple of days later, I find myself back in Pittsburgh pulling into the parking lot at Consol. I’m really excited for the game tonight, since it’s the first time I’ll be seeing the guys since Thanksgiving break. They’re playing the Wild tonight, and it promises to be a good game. Aubrey decided not to come with me, in lieu of spending some time with her mother. I’m not surprised. She’s been bailing on me a lot lately, especially when I do something that involves the Penguins. I think maybe she’s put off by the fact that they’ve all become such good friends with me. But I don’t understand, since they would be just as close with her if she gave them the chance. But I’m not going to fight her about it.

I walk into the family suite with about five minutes left to spare before the game starts, and immediately catch the attention of my close friends.

“Oh, there she is now!” Vero says to a woman sitting next to her. “We were beginning to wonder if you weren’t coming, darling!”
“I would never stand you up, Vero.” I laugh, taking the seat behind her next to Catherine, who gives me a swift hug and a kiss on the cheek.
“You better not.” The tiny brunette pretends to threaten. “Oh! Tori, this is Lily Rivers. Lily, this is Victoria McKinley.”

The woman I’m looking at practically towers over me, at least a good six inches taller. Probably more. Her auburn hair is pulled into a bun on the top of her head, and I can spot the look of someone who’s been traveling from a mile away. Her green eyes are staring at me-- practically through me, and I can tell she’s giving me the once-over as well. The Penguins jersey she’s wearing is way too large for her, but I can tell it’s a game-worn one. She looks like there’s no where else she’d rather be but here, but also like she’d rather be anywhere else but here at the same time.

“Hi! It’s nice to meet you!” I say, smiling at Lily.
“Hello.” She says in return. I can see a bit of flare in her eyes that most people probably wouldn’t notice. But I see it instantly, and it makes me rear back a little. Why does this woman I have never met have this immediate reaction to me? I try to smile at her, and she gives a curt nod before turning back to where the boys are lining up for the opening face off.

That’s when I notice the name on the back of the jersey she’s wearing. Malkin. It all comes together, now, in my head.

Lily Rivers.

The same Lily Rivers that spent time with David, who apparently talked about Geno. The same Lily that I’ve heard a couple of the guys mention before. And I’m assuming the same Lily that Geno’s mother was hoping he was with the last time we saw each other.

This must be Geno’s Lily. His.... God, I wish I didn’t have to say his girlfriend. But she’s wearing his jersey. And his mother apparently loves her. She has to be his girlfriend. It’s official, I have a thing for a taken man. I’m a horrible person.

Catherine’s hand on my arm pulls me out of my own thoughts.

“Are you okay?” She asks. I notice the game has already started and a couple of minutes have passed. I can’t believe I blanked for that long.
“Yeah.” I lie to assure her, nodding my head. “Just a little tired from the flight from Chicago and then the drive here.”
“Oh! How was Chicago?” Vero asks, spinning in her seat.
“It was fantastic.” I smile bright. “It’s always nice to see Pat and Jon.”
“Still no interest in Toews?” Catherine checks.
“No!” I laugh. “Though he did ask me to marry him if we’re both still single in ten years.”
“What?” Vero asks, chuckling.
“I know!” I exclaim. “I told him it was by far the weirdest marriage proposal I’ve ever received. And believe me, I got my share of weird proposals after London.”
“So you’re the future Mrs. Toews?” Catherine chuckles.
“That’s what he’s been jokingly calling me. But only if we’re both still single in ten years. If that happens, then yes I’m the future Mrs. Jonathan Toews.”
“You won’t still be single by then.” Vero assures me, though I get the feeling that it was more for herself.
“And neither will Jon.” I agree. “But like he said, it’s nice to have a plan B.”

The ladies nod their heads, thankfully understanding my agreement with the Blackhawks captain. We turn our attention to the game for a couple minutes, watching the guys play their hearts out.

“Oh!” Vero exclaims suddenly, turning and punching my arm. “Congratulations on winning Nationals!”
The other ladies chime in their congratulations, and it puts a smile on my face that they know about it.
“Thank you so much.” I say, blushing.
“How does it feel to once again be America’s sweetheart?”
I snort at the question.
“I’m hardly America’s sweetheart.” I shake my head. “But it’s truly a huge weight off my chest, knowing I’m going to Worlds no matter what happens with the rest of the season and surgery and everything.”
“Well we’re so proud of you, cherie.” Catherine says, patting my arm.
“Thank you so much.” I smile at her.

Unfortunately, the boys can’t capitalize on a fantastic rush at the end of the period, and they head into the first intermission tied. As soon as the period is over, Lily gets up and disappears into the hallway, barely whispering to Vero before she leaves. It’s odd, to me, that she’s so distant and clearly wants nothing to do with me. I have no idea what I could have possibly done wrong after just two sentences with her.

I decide to take my phone out and send a text to David. He knows her a lot better than I do, so maybe he can shed some light. I mean, I’m sure he has some sort of idea.

“Hey boo. Miss you like crazy. Random question.... Lily Rivers. What’s up with her?” I send. No more than a minute later, I get a response.
“I was totally meaning to text u miss NATIONAL CHAMPION!!!!! I’m a proud papa bear. But what about her??? Lily is cool. Why are u asking?”
“Ahhh nationals!!!! Going to worlds baby!!!! But yeah, I’m at the penguins game and she’s here. But she’s kinda acting weird? She’s literally said like two words since I showed up and she gave me evil eyes when we were introduced.”
“What did u do?”
“Nothing! I swear. I don’t get it!”
“Boo here’s the thing, ok? Lily Rivers is the single most private person I’ve ever met. I doubt it’s anything personal towards u.”
“I hope not. From what I’ve heard about her, she sounds nice. And she’s friends with the guys like I am so I don’t want to have any issues with her. But idk the look I got from her just felt cold.”
“Hmm. Don’t worry about it babe. I think u overthink everything. Try talking to her again. Play up the whole fellow olympian thing. Hell, talk about me. Enjoy the game and being home and CALL ME TOMORROW. We have to discuss how amazing u are. Future world champ.”
“Lol okay, D.”

Our conversation ends just as Lily comes back into the suite. She eyes me and the empty seats around me where the other women were sitting. She hesitates for a minute, but decides it’s okay to sit down in the row in front of me.

“So I realized where I’ve heard your name before.” I say, getting her attention.
“Oh?”
“Yeah. You spent time this summer with David Boudia. Filming the show?”
“Yes. I did.” Her answer is short and I can tell she’s just trying to be polite.
“Well that’s how I’ve heard of you! David and I are really good friends.”
“I know.”
“You’ll be in Sochi, right?” I ask.
“Yes.” She responds.
“Well good luck...” I trail off, not too interested in pushing it.

Fortunately for me, Vero comes back and slides easily into the seat next to me, instead of next to Lily. She starts telling a story about Estelle and I focus my attention on her, rather than the pit in my stomach. I just don’t understand why she’s still being so short with me.

The second period and intermission fly by, and before I know it there’s only a couple of minutes left in the third. The score is still tied at zero, and I’m hoping like crazy that the guys can find a way to score against this surprisingly strong Wild team.

My prayers are answered when Sid intercepts a pass from Parise and goes streaking down the ice, tossing the puck into the back of the net with ease. Every person in the suite is on their feet, cheering as they show the replay on the screen. Vero has my arm in her grasp and is the loudest of us all.

It’s strange, though, when I look at Lily. She’s standing and clapping like everyone else, but she isn’t as excited. At least, it doesn’t look like it from the outside. She’s hardly cheering and isn’t interacting with anyone around us. Her eyes are glued to Sid, though, following him as he skates down the bench pounding fists with his teammates. And I can see a smile on her lips that’s just this side of pride. Which seems a little odd to me, since she’s Geno’s girlfriend. But I guess Geno and Sid are such good friends, she must be friends with Sid too? It would make sense.

Our celebration hardly has time to die down before we’re up on our feet again. Less than a minute after Sid’s goal, James takes a beautiful pass from Paul and tips it in to the net, giving the guys a 2-0 lead. They don’t let up on the pressure, and the Wild have no chance to come back.

“You’re coming down to see the boys, right?” Vero asks as we’re leaving the suite.
“Of course! I’m not going out, though. Mom wants to have a McKinley-family breakfast tomorrow morning.” I respond.
“Oh gosh. All of you together?” Catherine makes a funny face.
“Not all of us.” I laugh. “Just my siblings and their families.”
“So no cousins. That’s a relief.” Vero smiles.
“Believe me, I know. I love my family more than anything, but.....” I shudder and shake my head. “It’s too crazy when we’re all together. Christmas dinner will be enough.”

We get down into the underside of the Consol center and make our way to the family room. Vero easily passes Estelle over to me, claiming that she has to use the bathroom. Though she doesn’t actually leave for a couple of minutes, choosing to say hello to some of the other ladies first.

“I think your mommy just passed you off so she didn’t have to hold you anymore.” I chuckle, tickling Estelle’s tummy.
“Vero is a wonderful mother.” Lily says defensively, surprising me.
“I know that.” I respond with a slight attitude. I’m honestly getting sick of this woman’s demeanor. I don’t know what the hell her problem with me is, but it’s getting old. “Vero is an excellent mother.”
“Then don’t accuse her of wanting to get rid of her child.” She sneers.
“I didn’t say she wanted to get rid of her child.” I say trying to remain calm. “I said she didn’t want to hold her anymore. There’s a huge difference. Babies are heavy, and holding them gets tiring after a while. Most mothers take as many opportunities as possible to have someone else hold them for a minute, if nothing else but to give their arms a rest. I don’t mind it at all, Estelle is an angel. And she clearly loves and trusts me. Which is why Vero asked me to hold her.”

I don’t miss the flare in her eyes when I mention this point. It was obvious the one time during the game that she tried to hold Estelle that Lily is not good with babies. And Lily is clearly uncomfortable with that fact. But it's not like I mean it that way. I simply meant Estelle is comfortable with me. She lets me hold her for a long period of time, and that gives Vero a break. It has nothing to do with Lily. Or me, even. It has everything to do with Estelle.

What she’s about to say next gets interrupted when James and Paul come into the room.

“Tori! Lily! My two favorite American women!” James announces his presence.
“Hey James!” Lily immediately turns her attention towards him with a smile. The two of them hug and start up a conversation, leaving Paul and I staring at each other. I give him a warm smile and he wraps one arm around my shoulders, hugging me as best as he can with the baby between us.
“Hi, sweetheart.” He says.
“Hey, Pauly.” I respond. “Great game, as always.”
“I’m beginning to think you’re our lucky charm.” He chuckles. “You’re always here for our best games.”
“Better give me season tickets then, huh?” I joke.
“You’ve always got tickets whenever you want. That’s basically season tickets, right?” He asks.
“Of course.” I laugh. “Thanks for always getting them for me.”
“Who else would take Pauly’s family tickets?” James asks, butting into our conversation and dropping a kiss on my forehead.
“One day, Paul is going to have a wonderful girlfriend. And I doubt she’ll be okay with me taking his tickets all the time.” I respond with a wink.
“You know, you could just pretend to be my girlfriend and take my tickets.” Beau says, appearing with Rob from behind Paul. “I wouldn’t be opposed to that.”
James and Rob start laughing, and I blush.
“We’ve been over this, Sunshine. Tori is way too good for you.”
“Oh, don’t be mean, James!” I scold my friend, watching Beau pout. “Beau Bennett, I would be honored to be your fake girlfriend. But I know for a fact that you could find a real girlfriend who would make you much happier.”
“Don’t give him any hope, please.” Rob says.
“You and Nealer over here both just need to raise your standards. Maybe try talking to girls outside of the clubs.” I say, poking Beau’s arm.
“Lazy hopeless. Never get girlfriend.” A thick Russian accent says.

I turn and can’t help the smile that breaks across my face when I see Geno’s amused look. He grins at me and I can’t help but shift Estelle’s weight on my hip.

“Hey, Geno.” I say softly.
“Hello, Tori. How are you?” He asks.
“Well, my favorite team just won so I’m great.” I smile at him.
“I’m think Hawks play tomorrow?” He teases.
“Shut up.” I laugh, hip checking him a little.
“I kid, I kid.” He chuckles.

A small noise comes from the side, drawing Geno’s attention.
“Lily?” He asks, his entire face lighting up with surprise.
“Hi Yevgeni.” She says, curling into his arms as he responds in Russian.
It’s so natural for her, fitting in where she clearly belongs in his arms. The interaction stabs at my heart, reminding me that this is Geno’s girlfriend.

“Tori! I’m so sorry for leaving her here with you.” Vero interrupts my thought process, reaching for Estelle.
“It’s no problem, V. Seriously.” I assure her. “You know I love this little girl.”
“And she loves you.” She promises. “We have to head out, though. It’s well past her bed time.”
“Of course. I’ll see you soon?”
“Absolutely. I still owe you dinner.” She reminds me.
“Since you didn’t let us pay you for babysitting.” Marc adds, stepping in to wrap his arms around me quickly.
“Oh, stop.” I shove his shoulder. “Your daughter is by far the easiest baby I’ve ever watched. And you know I didn’t even have to do it all by myself.”
Marc gives me a little smirk and turns around to take his daughter from Vero.
“Don’t be a stranger, Tori.” He says before they head out with good byes to everyone else.

I turn back to the rest of the group and find that Sidney has joined us at some point. He’s standing somewhat close to Lily, who’s apparently in a deep conversation with Geno. I feel my heart fall a little bit. It’s so obvious now that they’re together. Geno’s arm is draped around her shoulder and she seems so at ease with him, nothing like before. And of course they’re speaking in Russian. I didn’t even know she spoke his native language. Probably from years of visiting his family, preparing for their life together. I can’t argue that they look good together. They both look comfortable and happy.

“Tori?” Sid’s voice breaks me out of my trance. “You okay?” He asks when I look at him.
“Yeah.” I lie. “Sorry, just a little tired.”
“That’s what you get from spending a whole week partying it up with Patrick Kane.” He laughs.
“Was that an attempt at a chirp?” I gasp jokingly. “Call the press, Sidney Crosby apparently has a sense of humor!” I announce to the group.
Sid giggles and blushes when his teammates start poking at him, a couple claiming it was just a fluke. With my attention officially focused elsewhere, I can feel the weight on my heart lift a little bit.
“You’re coming out with us, right?” Sid asks, shrugging off the teasing.
“I can’t, I’m sorry.” I pout. “I have to go home.”
“When we see you again?” Geno asks, his face a little fallen. It’s so hard to look at him with his arm around Lily, but I do it with a soft smile anyway.
“I’m not sure. Next game, maybe?”
“I’ll leave my tickets for you, as always.” Paul says.
“I thought we were leaving my tickets now?” Beau whines. “Since she’s my fake girlfriend now.”
“That’s only after Pauly gets a girlfriend, dumb ass.” James laughs, causing Beau to pout a little more.
“Oh, Sunshine.” I coo. “Do you want to be my fake boyfriend?”
“Yes.” He whines indignantly. I laugh and leave Sid’s side to hip-check Beau.
“Okay. Leave me your tickets, then.”
“Yes!” He cheers, fist-pumping into the air.
“Now I really have to go.” I chuckle. “My mom is going to kill me if I show up exhausted tomorrow morning.”
“Your mom is too nice to kill you. Tell her I say hi!” James demands, hugging me.
“I most definitely will.” I promise.

I get hugs from everyone else until it’s just Sid and Geno left. Sid’s is normal for him, just long enough that it’s obvious he considers me a friend, but not too long that he would get uncomfortable. But I’m really surprised when Geno’s hug is extra long, especially considering his girlfriend is standing right there. I know I shouldn’t with Lily standing right there, but I allow myself to enjoy the feeling of his arms wrapped around me. He’s warm and inviting and it just feels so good to be folded into him.

Taking a deep breath, I’m the first one to pull away. From the look on Paul’s face, the brief interaction that just happened wasn’t as discrete as I was hoping, which makes me instantly feel guilty. I say a quick good bye to everyone and make my way out to my car.

On the drive home I can’t help but think about the hug, and how obviously close it was to something more than just friends. I’m sure Lily noticed that too. Maybe that’s why she hates me already? Maybe Geno told her about our night babysitting Estelle and she could tell that I’m interested in him. Maybe he told her straight up. That would make sense. God, I’m such an idiot. Pining after a taken man. I’m the exact girl that I’ve always said I would never be.

Before I can stop myself, my phone is dialing Jon’s number.

“Hey Tori.” He answers, relaxed and calm. I don’t say anything. This was a mistake. Why the hell would I call the captain of the Chicago Blackhawks to talk about my ridiculous crush on the alternate captain for the Pittsburgh Penguins? I’m so fucking stupid. Jon is going to see right through any form of explanation. He’ll know I’m a horrible person and won’t want to be friends with me. Then he’ll probably tell Pat how awful I am and I’ll lose him, too. I can’t lose either of them. I can’t.

So I hang up.

Admittedly, it wasn’t the smartest thing for me to do. Not even half a minute later, Jon is calling me back. I can’t bring myself to answer it. At the next red light, I flip the button to put it on silent and try to turn my attention completely on the road in front of me. By the time I get home, he’s called twice and texted a couple of times, each one more and more worried. The last one is threatening to get Pat involved if I don’t respond, and I just can’t have that. So I rush into my apartment, waving to Aubrey and Amy who are lounging on the couch watching a movie, and head right for my room.

When I’m safely wrapped in all the blankets on my bed, I call Jon back.

“What the hell, Tori?” He answers, slightly angry.
“Sorry.” I whisper.
“Are you okay?” I realize his voice is more worried than angry.
“Are you alone?” I ask instead of answering his question. I really don’t want Pat to be with him.
“Yeah. I’m in my hotel room. Please talk to me.”
“I- I’m falling for a taken man.” I admit in a rush.
“What?”
“Please don’t make me say it again.” I beg.
“You’re falling for a taken man. I heard you and I remember our conversation, I just don’t understand.” He responds.
“I-I...” I breathe out, nervous and panicky. “I promised I would never be that girl- I can’t- he’s got-”
“Breathe, Tor.” Jon interrupts me, using his captain voice. I do what he said and take a couple deep breaths in, slowly letting them out. “Now start from the beginning. Who are we talking about?”
“I can’t- Jon... I can’t tell you that.”
“Why not?”
“If I tell you, you’ll think I’m horrible.”
“I will never think you’re horrible. I promise. I already know it’s a Penguin.”
I nod silently before realizing he can’t see me.
“Yeah.”
“And he has a girlfriend?”
“I think so.”
“You think so? Or you know so? There’s a big difference.”
“She wasn’t introduced to me as his girlfriend. And no one has explicitly said they’re together. But-but it’s so obvious.... The way they look at each other and- and they’re so comfortable together and they- they smile... and... she was wearing his jersey at the game.”
Jon takes a breath in and slowly lets it out.
“And there’s no way she’s just a friend?”
“She was wearing his jersey, Jon.” I sigh, slightly on this side of whining.
“You wear Kaner’s jersey when you’re here.” He points out.
“That’s different.” I shake my head. “It’s obvious Pat and I are just friends.”
“Maybe it’s obvious to everyone but you that they’re just friends.” He offers. “But Tor... I thought you weren’t interested in dating?”
“I-I’m not... I just... I-”
“It sounds like you’re interested if he’s available.”
“Jon....” I close my eyes, fighting back the urge to break apart.
“I’m sorry. I just over stepped the boundaries. I’m sorry.” He apologizes quickly, realizing that now is not the time to be talking about that.
“No-I just...”
“If he’s a good guy, it’s worth putting yourself out there. And I can’t think of any Penguins I wouldn’t be okay with you dating. Except maybe Neal..... it’s not Neal, is it?”
“No, it’s not James.” I answer with a small laugh.
“Well then he probably has my approval. Especially since I could always call Sid and threaten whoever it is that way.... unless it’s Sid?”
“It’s not Sid either.” I promise. “But.... but none of that matters anyway. He’s got a girlfriend, Jon. I can just tell. He isn’t available and I think I might be falling really hard for him... and- and I don’t know if I can continue to be around him when all I think about is.... is what it would be like to curl up with him on the couch or- dance just with him when the team goes to a club. Or... or what it would be like to kiss him and have him pin me up against a wall and.... oh, God.”
I blush hard and Jon coughs.
“Damn.” He says. “You’ve got it bad.”
I whimper, almost in tears, thinking about how true that is. I have it bad for Evgeni Malkin, and he’s got a girlfriend.
“Jon...” I whisper. “I’m a horrible person.”
“Victoria McKinley, you listen to me right now. You’re not a horrible person for having feelings for someone. Even if he does have a girlfriend.... I-I’m not going to pretend like I have any idea what to do in this situation, because I don’t. But--but I do know you, Tori. I know you’re a great person. Kaner and I and--and Jesus, half the Chicago Blackhawks love you. And that will never change.”
“Promise?” I ask, timidly.
“Promise.” He says, and I believe him.
“I love you guys too, Jonny.”
“We know.” He gets a little cocky. “Listen, I have to get to bed. We have a game tomorrow. But you can text me or call me whenever and I’ll respond when I get the chance, okay?”
“Oh gosh, yeah.” I apologize. “I forgot you have a game tomorrow. Kick ass, okay?”
“You bet.”
“Score me a goal. And get Patty a goal too?”
“I’ll do my very best. Good night, Tori.”
“Night Jonny.”

I hang up and bury into my covers more, letting out a huge sigh. I’m about to get up and go into the other room with my cousins when my door opens and the two of them come trampling in, bracketing me on either side.

“What’s up?” I ask, pulling my jeans off and tossing them in the general direction of my closet.
“I feel like we should be asking you the same thing.” Amy responds, handing me the shirt I usually sleep in. I notice the two of them are both dressed for bed and realize they’ve decided to spend the night here with me.
“Yeah, you buzzed in here pretty quick.” Aubrey adds.
“I had to call Jon back.” I respond, pointedly ignoring their exchanged looks. “Look, I’m exhausted. Can we just curl up and go to bed?”
“Yeah.” Amy answers. I’m grateful for her, since she’s always been a little easier on me than Aubrey has.
“You owe us a girls night soon, though.” Aubrey says.
“Promise.” I respond, as I wrap my arm around her stomach and Amy does the same to me.

The next morning I wake up before Aubrey, but Amy is already gone from the bed. I roll over carefully and slip out of the bed in search for some clean clothes for breakfast at my parents' house. On the way to the laundry room, I check my phone and find two texts that stand out. The first is from Vero. She wants me to join her and some of the other Pens wives and girlfriends this afternoon for lunch. It’s weird because it’s the first time that I hesitate before saying yes. I know Lily will be there, and I’m not quite sure how she’ll react to me being there. Despite Vero and the others’ desire, I’m not actually dating one of the guys. I don’t technically belong in this group yet. But I know that Vero will want to know why I suddenly don’t have an interest in spending time with them. And truthfully, I don’t think I could handle trying to explain to her why I can’t bear to be around them all now that I know I’m pining after a taken man.... who’s girlfriend will be there. So I say yes reluctantly.

The other text is from Beau, asking me to be his fake date for the Penguins’ annual Christmas skate. That one is a lot easier to accept, which makes him very happy.

Despite Vero’s pleading, I insist that I drive myself to lunch. While she wants so badly to come pick me up, I know it’s not a great idea. If Vero picks me up, I’m stuck at lunch until she leaves. That means I’m stuck with Lily until lunch is over, with no escape option if things go badly. And I really don’t want that. At least this way if things are terrible, I can fake a family emergency and get the hell out of there.

I’m relieved when I get to the restaurant to see that Lily isn’t there yet. It eases my mind a little, and I’m able to sneak into a seat at the end of the table next to Vero. There are two seats available, one across from me and one at the other end of the table. I’m hoping like hell Lily ends up at the other end, but it’s just my luck that Catherine comes in and takes that seat not two minutes after me. Internally groaning, I bury my head into the menu and try to prepare myself to face Geno’s girlfriend for the next couple hours.

“Do you know what you want yet?” Vero asks.
“I’m not sure.” I respond honestly. “I think I might just get an appetizer. I haven’t been feeling too good today so nothing big. Maybe just a small salad.”

I don’t tell her that I haven’t been feeling well because I’ve been dreading this whole ordeal. Dreading facing Lily Rivers knowing that I’m pretty sure I’ve fallen for her boyfriend. But it’s helpful to put the thought in her brain in case I need an excuse to leave early.

“Sorry, sorry I’m late!” I hear, causing me to look up from the menu. “We couldn’t decide on what tree and Si--” The voice stops, and her eyes are fixed right on me.

“Just happy for you to be here.” Vero says, smiling. I watch as Lily’s eyes scan the table, her gaze eventually dropping to the only seat available. It’s obvious she’s as thrilled with this seating arrangement as I am.

I move my attention back to the menu, deciding on a starter salad rather than a full meal. They have a spinach and strawberry salad that Carol-Lynn has raved about in the past, that I decide is my best option. It has walnuts and goat cheese too, which will go well with my diet.

“So, Victoria. What is it that you do? Aside from diving?” Lily asks, surprising me. I figured she would ignore me the entire time. But it seems as though she has other plans.

“I’m a senior at Ohio State University.” I respond.
“Senior in college, eh?” She asks, raising an eyebrow. Her gaze drops to the menu, but I can tell her focus is still on me. It makes me uneasy.
“Yeah.” I respond. “Hopefully graduating in the spring.”
“What are you studying? Are you planning on going to a graduate program afterwards? Or are you going to be a full time diver? Is a full time diver the proper term?”
“I’m a communications major with a focus in sports journalism. I don’t really plan on going to graduate school at the moment, because I don’t think I could study anything that would help me in my profession. Also, I have a very nice scholarship for diving that pays for the majority of my undergrad tuition. I won’t get any financial help for grad school, so I probably can’t afford it. I’m planning on continuing my training and hope to go to Rio in 2016, and maybe another Olympics after that. But it won’t be my main focus. There isn’t really any money in diving. There are very few sponsorships, other than Speedo. And Speedo’s contracts aren’t ever worth that much.”

Lily doesn’t respond, but the look on her face is... well, it’s interesting enough. She almost looks approving, if that would make any sense. It seems like a moral victory to me, in this large war against myself. Fortunately the waitress comes by, saving me from further questions and we place our orders before Lily has the chance to turn back to me. I take a long sip from my water glass and notice her attention turn back to me.

“So Victoria-” Lily starts, before Vero finally comes to my rescue.
“Lily, what is with the interrogation?” She asks. I doubt she notices the look of relief I send her.
“It’s not an interrogation.” Lily smiles, and I have to hold back a scoff. “Geno just told me how nice she is. So I’m just trying to get to know Victoria.”

I feel my face heat up. Oh God, Geno talked to her about me? What did he tell her? Did he tell her about the night we babysat Estelle together? Did he tell her about cuddling together on their couch? Does she know I want to be more than just his friend? I bet she does. I bet that’s why I’ve been getting the third degree from her. She knows I’ve had my eyes on her boyfriend, and she wants to stake her claim. She wants me to know that Geno is off the market. I get the message, loud and clear. Geno is off limits. It stings, but I get it. And now, I’ve got to work on ignoring my feelings. If I can’t ignore them, I am likely to lose my Penguins friends. The fate of my friendship lies in this snowboarder’s hands. I have to prove to Lily that this isn’t going to be a problem.

I tune back into the conversation just as Vero asks Lily how long she’s staying in Pittsburgh.

“‘Till after New Year’s.” She smiles.
“He’s really got your number, hasn’t he?” Vero asks with a smirk. It pangs me to see, considering it’s the same type of look she gave me the night we babysat together. Why would Vero have given me that look knowing that Geno was taken? I tune the conversation out until Lily brings me back into it.

“So Victoria, how long will you be in Pittsburgh?” She asks.
“Until early January.” I respond.
“And then you will be going back to Ohio State?”
“Yes.” I answer.
“And where is that located?”
“It’s in Columbus. About three hours from here.”
“So you are driving back? That must get boring.”
“Sometimes it does. But my cousin Aubrey and I will be driving back together, so it won’t be too bad.”
“Do you have to go back early for diving?”
“Just a couple of days. We don’t start classes until the second Wednesday, and we have practices starting the Friday before then.” Lily nods, and goes to ask more but she gets interrupted.

“Wait, Lily, if you’re staying for such a long time, what are you doing for training?” Carol-Lynn asks.
“I truly have no idea.” Lily groans. “During playoffs was the only other time I’ve been able to be out here for more than a couple days. And then I was just at the local tramp gym because I wasn’t doing any serious since I was still rehabilitating my foot. So I’ll have to find a gym.”
“The gym that we go to is wonderful.” Maureen Kunitz suggests.
“I’m sure it is, but unfortunately it probably doesn’t have a trampoline.”
“You could train at my gym.” I find my voice offering before I can stop myself.
“You have a gym?” Lily asks, clearly as surprised as I am.
“Well, it’s not my gym.” I clarify. “But it’s the gym I’ve trained at my entire career.”
“And it has a trampoline?”
“Of course.” I furrow my brows. Why wouldn’t it have a trampoline? Does she think divers don’t train on them?
“Um..” I can see Lily debating with herself. “Okay.”
“Perfect! Glad that it’s all fixed!” Vero cheers, clapping her hands.

I’m still trying to figure out where my offer came from, but Lily sends me a small smile and it’s the first time I feel like maybe she doesn’t hate me. Maybe I can get over Geno and move on with someone else and Lily and I can be friends.

“It’s so strange, having you two here with us.” Catherine says, looking between me and Lily.
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“Well, for so long it’s been just us girls.” She gestures to the other ladies.
“I’m sure you’ve had other women in and out of here.” Lily says.
“What she means is, we’re not used to having two Olympic champions in our mix.” Vero clarifies for her.
“I’m not an Olympic champion.” I remind her quietly, my face falling and the familiar hole in my stomach piercing me. I swallow hard and have to take a sip of my water to distract myself from the reminder that I did, indeed, fail at the London Olympics. I catch Lily’s confused and--slightly worried look out of the corner of my eye.
“But you are a very successful athlete.” Carol-Lynn answers. “You’re a national champion, an NCAA champion, and an Olympic silver and bronze medalist.”
I shake my head.
“But not and Oly--”
“So what?” Lily cuts me off, gaining everyone’s attention. “I mean... you have two Olympic medals. That is the same as me. And my sport has always been American-dominated, the rest of the world just has not caught up with us yet. Meanwhile you came within a point of beating China, who-- correct me if I am wrong-- has only lost two women’s gold medals since 1980.”

I blank, realizing the implications of Lily’s words. She’s at least done a little bit of research on me, and my sport, to know these facts. But-- but why would she care enough to find out about me?

Fortunately for me, Vero’s phone starts ringing, breaking the awkward moment. She excuses herself to take it outside, leaving me alone with Lily. She’s only gone a couple of minutes and the two of us are preoccupied with eating our lunch, so the inquisition doesn’t resume.

“Lily, darling. I am so sorry, but I am going to have to leave early. The babysitter has a family emergency and I have to go home.” Vero apologizes when she comes back.
“Oh, don’t worry about it. I can get a ride from someone else.” Lily says.
“Of course, of course. Tori, would you be willing to take Lily home?” Vero asks me.

I notice Lily’s eyes widen along with mine. That was so not a part of the plan.

“Um.... Sure?” I agree hesitantly. “I mean, if you want...”
“Sure. Of course if it isn’t too much of an inconvenience.”

I can tell neither of us are sure what we just got ourselves into. But neither of us say anything, instead listening to Carol-Lynn and Maureen talk about their kids for the rest of lunch.

When it’s time to leave, I pull my coat on and say goodbye to everyone, still not completely sure how I’m going to survive this car ride. I notice Lily tap her heels a little on the way out, and decide to ease her mind.

“I’m parked around the corner, not too far.” I offer.
“Great.” She responds.

I guess we’re back to awkward silence. Okay, I can handle this.

“So, um... do you know how to get to Geno’s from here?” I ask, partially wanting to know the best way for this to end and partially wanting her to know I’ve never been there before. Just in case she thinks I have.
“Well...” She thinks for a second. “I’m actually headed to Crosby’s house.”
I don’t say anything, though I feel like she wants me to. She looks-- well, she looks almost guilty. Like she shouldn’t be going to Sid’s. But who am I to judge what she does and where she goes? Geno and Sid are friends.
“Okay. Do you know how to get to Sidney’s house?” I finally ask.
“Yeah, he lives in Sewickley. So get on 65 going north.” She says, maybe a little too quickly.
“Cool. Music?”
“Music is good.”

I turn on the radio, flipping through the channels quickly. I can tell she’s getting a little impatient with my quick transitions, but none of the stations seem to satisfy me. I’m picky with my music, and especially so when I’m this nervous. Though I’m not sure why I’m nervous. It’s just Geno’s girlfriend.

“You know what? How about a CD?” I offer, my seventh time through the preset stations. “I think Aubrey’s Christmas mix is in the case in this thing.”

I pat the center console, and Lily opens it up a little too enthusiastically. She pulls the case out and flips through, reading the names on the dozens of CDs Aubrey and I have burned in the past couple of years.

“You can put whatever on, really.” I say, catching her eyeing the one Aubrey made me a couple of months ago titled ‘Play Me, Bitch. PS I Love You.’

She swallows and continues flipping through until she comes across the Christmas one, which she slides into my CD player. Of course, I forgot that the very first song on it is the Chipmunks Christmas Song. Lily looks mortified, but I just start laughing.

“It’s our favorite Christmas song.” I explain, starting to hum along. I can’t help the bright smile that spreads on my face. This song always brings back the best memories of the holiday season. Memories of Aubrey and I (and sometimes some of our other cousins) running around our grandparents’ house screaming that we want hula hoops and ‘please Christmas, don’t be late.’

The song ends just as Lily gestures for me to get off the highway, and a couple minutes later we’re pulling into the driveway of an expensive-yet-modest house. It’s very Sid, if just the outside of a house could represent a person.

“You could.... um. You could come inside if you’d like?” Lily offers, eyeing Geno’s car in front of mine. I feel my palms starting to sweat against the steering wheel.
“Um...” I hesitate.
“I insist.” She pushes, though I’m not sure she has the power to insist on this. We’re at Sid’s, not Geno’s.
“Okay.” I say, turning the car off. “Okay.”
“Great.” She looks like she’s going to say something else, but instead she decides to hop out of my passenger seat.

I follow her up to the front door, where she simply opens it up and steps in. The two of us shuck our shoes off in the hallway and she hangs up our coats while I admire the front entrance to Sidney Crosby’s house. Had anyone told me a year ago that I would be here, I would have laughed in their face and told them they’re crazy. Yet somehow I feel at home here.

“They are probably in the kitchen...” Lily mumbles, trailing off. I don’t hear the rest, but I’m not sure if the statement was meant for me so I just follow her further into the house.

When we reach the kitchen, I’m surprised to find not only Sid and Geno, but also Paul and James, who are arguing over snacks.

“Hey guys.” Lily says, attaching herself to Geno’s hip.
“Ugh, stop it.” James complains to Paul. “The show is going to start soon.”
“Show?” I ask, drawing attention to myself for the first time.
“Drag Tori here and not say why?” Geno asks Lily, a sparkle in his eye.
“We are watching that Olympic show thing that we both did. It’s my episode with David. It was on last night, but the guys demanded to watch it together this afternoon.” Lily explains.
“Wouldn’t miss it.” Sid agrees with a smile, looking directly at Lily. In return, Lily sticks her tongue out at Sid and smiles a little. It’s.... it’s odd, is what it is. If I didn’t know any better, I would think that Lily was flirting with Sid. But there’s no way... I mean, she’s literally on Geno’s hip at the moment. They must just be really friendly? It’s the only thing I can think of for why Geno’s girlfriend would be so open with Sid.

“Let’s go get settled.” Lily says, leading the way towards the basement. She takes one end of the couch while Paul and James take the love seat. I eye my options, either the other end of the couch, the middle of the couch, or the chair on the end next to Lily. Naturally, I choose the other end of the couch. Which is a great option, until Geno slides into the middle right between the two of us.

“Best.” He says, inviting Lily to snuggle into his side. They start talking in Russian and they look so happy and perfect together. It stings a little. No-- that’s not the whole truth. It stings a lot. And leaves me wondering why I’m torturing myself so much, sticking around to watch the man I’ve fallen for so happy with another woman.

“Sid, can I get a glass of water?” I ask, needing a moment to get away from the combination of Lily and Geno’s shared gazes and soft Russian chatter.
“Sure.” He says starting to get up. “I can-”
“It’s fine.” I shake him off. “I can get it. Thanks.”

I make my way into the kitchen and open a couple of cabinets before I find the one that has the glasses. I stick it under the spout on the refrigerator and let the cup fill up.

“Tori, your phone is ringing!” Sid calls to me just as the glass is reaching full capacity.
“Is it someone important?” I ask.
“It’s... it’s Tazer?” He questions, more than states.
“Can you answer it for me? Give him shit if you feel like it.” I chuckle.

I drain the entire glass and refill it before heading back into the room, just in time to hear Jonny’s confused babbling.

“I swear man, my phone says I called Tori.” He mumbles.
“Well clearly you didn’t. I’m a very busy man, Jon. And you interrupted my meeting.” Sid says seriously, but with a playful smile. It’s a good look on him, happy and relaxed rather than the stone-cold look he always has.
“Well.... shit. I’m so sorry.”
Sid pauses before cracking another smile and giggling.
“What-?” Jon starts.
“Jesus, Tazer. You really are way too serious.” Sid laughs.
“I’m really-” Jon tries before stopping.
I smile and shake my head.
“You’re way too easy, Jonny.” I chuckle.
“Tori?” Jon asks.
“Yeah babe.” I respond. “Sid answered my phone for me while I was out of the room.”
I hear him groan, and then the familiar cackle of Pat in the background.
“You’re meaning to tell me....” Pat gasps out. “That Sidney Crosby just punk’d you?”
“Shut the fuck up, Kaner.” Jonny grumbles, making me laugh. I take the phone from Sid’s hand, but keep in on speaker in case the two Canadians want to talk still.
“What’s up?” I ask, still laughing to myself.
“I can’t do this. Kaner, talk.” Jon says, clearly frustrated that he fell for Sid’s prank.
“Hey Tor.” I can hear the smile in Pat’s voice.
“Hey Patty. Why are you guys calling me?” I cut right to the chase.
“Jonny and I want to know what your plans are for New Year’s eve.”
“I’m not sure, honestly.” I admit. “I’m probably just going to do something with Aubrey and Amy. Maybe some of my other cousins. James and Holly are going to still be home, I think....” I trail off, thinking for the first time about my plans.
“So you wouldn’t be interested in coming to Chicago?” Jon asks, now over his frustration and probably humiliation from earlier.
“Uh... no.” I laugh. “I’ve come to you guys twice now. I’m tired of planes.”
“But Tori, we have off from the thirtieth ‘till the second.” Pat whines. “And I wanna see you.”
“I’m not flying to Chicago, Pat.” I stand my ground.
“But baby...” Jon adds, using the nickname he’s picked up as a joke since our declaration of Plan B.
“That’s not what the future Mrs. Toews is supposed to say!” Pat complains.
“Oh, Jesus. You told him?” I ask Jon, feeling my face flush.
“Of course I did. I had to brag about it!”
I laugh, shaking my head.
“Okay I forgive you, but I’m still not flying to Chicago.”

I’m vaguely aware of Lily and Geno arguing in whispers, which reminds me that I’m not alone in the room.

“How about you two come here for New Year’s eve?” Sid offers, surprising everyone but himself.
“Seriously?” Jon asks.
“Yeah. That way you guys get to see Tori, but she doesn’t have to leave Pittsburgh.”
“That’s actually a good idea...” Pat says.
“I have them occasionally.” Sid rolls his eyes. “Geno’s having a party at his place, and I’m inviting all three of you.”
“Is going to be all Russians.” Geno warns, the first thing he’s said this entire conversation.
“If it’s cool with you, that sounds like a good plan. We just want to see Tori.” Jon says, causing me to smile. I look up hopefully at Geno, who doesn’t look as excited about this as me.
“You more than welcome.” He says with a little sigh, causing me to smile.
“Thanks, Geno.” I grin.
“Is there room at your apartment or do you want us to find a hotel?” Jon asks.
“I’ll make sure there’s room at our apartment for you guys.” I promise. “I don’t think anyone has claimed the guest room for that time period yet.”
“Well only one of us has to sleep in the guest room anyway so if not, the couch is cool too.” Jon says, and I can practically hear him nudging Pat in the side. We both know Pat will likely spend the entire time in Aubrey’s room.
“Right.” I chuckle. “Okay, I’ll talk to you guys later about all this.”

By the time I hang up, I realize Lily and Geno have both left the room, leaving me with James, Paul and Sid.

“Thanks for inviting them, Sid.” I say.
“It’s no problem.” He says, clearly proud of himself that he fixed the situation.
“Am I the only one who caught the whole ‘Future Mrs. Toews’ thing?” James asks, setting his beer down. “I mean, I thought I was the only Canadian for you, Tori.”
I can’t hold back my laugh.
“It’s just a joke.” I assure them. “Jonny and I agreed if we’re both still single by the time he’s thirty five, we’ll get married to each other.”
Paul and Sid both nod, like they completely understand what I’m saying. But James looks almost personally offended.
“I hope like hell you aren’t still single by that time!” He exclaims.
“I doubt either of us will be. But in the meantime, we have a plan B just in case.”
“You could do so much better than Toews tho.” James mutters, shaking his head as Geno and Lily come back into the room. They both sit back down, but it’s no where near as comfortable as it had been before.
“Jonny is a great guy.” I defend my friend, feeling the tension grow between the two people next to me.
Geno turns to Lily and says something in Russian, in a tone that I recognize as whining.
“Jesus, Geno. Not now.” Lily hisses at him in English. He rests his hand on her thigh and lets the issue go, though I can see him drawing patterns on her jeans with his fingers. Patterns I’m sitting here wishing he was drawing on my own leg.

I have to divert my attention, and fortunately Sid gives me the opportunity by pulling up the show on his TV. But as much as I’d love to not think about the man I want getting cuddly with his girlfriend next to me, it’s even harder to watch said girlfriend on the television in front of me. Especially when they start showing her career highlights. Two Olympic gold medals, and numerous other awards and achievements. This on top of the recent announcement that she’s going to be the captain for the Sochi Olympics, where she’ll likely win another two gold medals. I--I can’t do it. I can’t watch her. It’s absolutely killing me inside, seeing just how successful she is when I’m merely second place.

It would be rude to leave in the middle of this all, and it really was nice of Sid to invite us all into his home. So instead of leaving and instead of torturing myself, I decide to busy myself by going through my hundreds of Twitter notifications, responding to some and answering questions. It calms my mind and helps me forget the ache I’m feeling in my heart. In fact, I get so absorbed in my phone that I completely forget where I am. Until Geno’s shout reminds me, of course.

“Lily look!” Geno shouts, excitedly.
I look up at the screen and see television-Lily in her home with David. And of course I notice the picture she’s holding of her and Geno. The reminder that the two of them have been together long enough for there to be a picture of him in her house when they filmed the show is yet another stab in the gut, as if it isn’t hard enough knowing they’re sitting so happily next to me.
“USA first. Russia second. Canada last.” Television-Lily declares, gaining immediate protests from Sid and James. Paul and Geno laugh, and I catch Lily smiling to herself. But I have no desire to respond to her statement. So I turn back to my phone.

Not two minutes later, I get a text that pulls me away from my social media account. It’s-- surprisingly-- from Paul.

“Are you okay?” He asks.
“Yeah. Why?” I respond quickly.
“You aren’t watching the show.”
“I’m kinda watching.”
I wait a second before thinking of a good excuse to send.
“I promised Bree and Amy that we’d watch every episode together. We have it recorded at home and I don’t want to spoil everything.”
I look up at Paul, who’s staring at me with a strange look on his face.
“If you say so.” My phone buzzes. I offer him a hesitant smile and he furrows his brow before accepting my answer and returning his attention back to the television.

As soon as it’s over, I’m up out of my seat.

“Thank you so much for having me, Sid.” I say.
“You’re not staying?” James asks, and I can actually visually see Lily cringe in my peripheral vision.
“No, I can’t. I have plans with my cousins.” I lie.
“Are you sure?” Sid asks.
“Yeah.” I give him a fake smile. “Yeah, they’re already mad at me for ditching them last night to talk to Jon on the phone, so I kinda owe them.”
“I’ll walk you out.” Paul offers.
“Okay.” I accept, in the midst of being attacked by James.
“One of these days, Tori, I’m gonna just kidnap you and keep you somewhere. You’re always running out on us and I think it’s time to change that.”
“Okay, Jamie.” I laugh, giving him a big hug.

Sid steps in next for his hug, leaving Lily and Geno left. Lily gives me an obviously fake half-smile, but doesn’t move for anything else. Which is more than okay with me. I was expecting as much, and give her an obviously fake half-smile back. But what I’m not expecting is the hug from Geno. Where his hugs in the past have been comfortable and warm and-- and almost loving, this hug is the exact opposite. It’s so short I barely have time to get my arms around his waist before he’s pulling away, which leaves me with a disappointed frown on my face. I shouldn’t be too surprised, though. Considering Lily is right there. She’s probably been telling him all about how obvious my crush on him is since we got here. They’ve probably been laughing at me. Making fun of my stupidity. She’s probably convinced him I’m a terrible person, and he’s better off staying away from me. Which of course hurts. I am more than capable of being just friends with him, now that I know he isn’t available. I’d much rather be friends than whatever this is. But I guess it’s not up to me.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Paul asks when we get out to my car.
“Yeah.”
“Tori, I know you’re lying.” He calls me out. “You look like someone just killed your dog.”
“I don’t have a dog.” I stupidly point out.
“You know what I mean.” He responds, his eyes soft, yet looking for answers.
“Pauly...” I start. “It’s really complicated, okay?”
“Is there anything I can do?”
“No.” I shake my head sadly. “No, this is completely on me.”
“I’m sorry.” He says, wrapping his arms around me.
“I am too.” I reply honestly, returning his hug.
“Drive safe, okay?” He asks, opening my door for me.
“Yeah.” I promise, this time with a real smile.

He heads towards his car and I pull out of the driveway and onto the road. I know I’m not too far from my parents’ house, and... well. Maybe it’s time to give my mom a visit. No one will have better advice regarding the mess I’ve gotten myself into than her.

Notes

Hi guys!!!

So sorry it's been forever. Molly and I just wanted this to be absolutely perfect. Hopefully it won't be too long before the next one.

There's a lot of miscommunication and drama going on, which is super fun. But there's even more to the story if you check out Of Icings, Halfpipes, and Pterodactyls!

Comments would be absolutely lovely. I know Molly and I both love to know what you guys think.

Happy Holidays :)