Cry to Me

“The autoimmune skin disease lecture was fantastic. We rarely see diseases like pemphigus foliaceus or systemic lupus erythematosus so seeing actual cases was pretty amazing. I sat in on a lecture about new advancements in brain tumor therapy, which was nice because neurology is something general practitioners hardly dabble in. I went to lectures and practicums on ultrasonography and laser therapy, another thing I’ve considered specializing in…”
Sidney listened with admiration and respect as Dulci recounted her week of conferences. She was so animated, speaking with her hands, her eyes were sparkling with enthusiasm and exhilaration, her voice full of passion for her craft, and her mouth was stuck in a permanent smile. He had no idea what she was actually telling him apart from a few words he understood, but he was more than elated that she enjoyed herself and took away from it. She deserved it.
“And of course I went to every orthopedic lecture and practicum I could. I skipped lunch to… “ Dulci stopped talking, looking at him with a large grin on her face.
“How much of this is going over your head?”
“About eighty percent of it,” he admitted with a small laugh.
“Why didn’t you tell me to stop? You were going to let me go on and on. You’re probably bored to tears,” she snuggled up to him, resting her head on his shoulder.
“Because I asked how the conference went, and when you started talking, I couldn’t stop you.” Sidney leaned in closer. “And besides, you’re enthusiasm is very contagious. Its pretty sexy,” he whispered as he unbuckled his seatbelt, excusing himself as he climbed over her and into the aisle.
Dulci inhaled slowly, not because he was wearing new cologne that smelt like sex as he brushed against her or because she could see his muscles rippling through his tight shirt, but because of the glimpse of a buckle that she’d recently become very familiar with. She broke out into goose bumps as she remembered the first time she saw it. She subconsciously touched her wrists, blushing at the memory of their last time together and the slight simmering pain of tight shoulders the morning after. For a moment she considered meeting him in that bathroom to further explore how they could use that belt in such a confined space, and when she stood, adrenalin pumping as she decided to go for it, she saw him emerge, subtly pulling his shirt over the belt.
“Nice belt,” Dulci smiled lustfully at him, biting her lip as he climbed back over her.
“Oh, you noticed that, did you?” he winked at her, settling back into his seat.
“Did you wear it on purpose?”
“Absolutely,” he smiled sexily at her before giving her a quick kiss. “I never realized how many functions this belt would have, and I fully intend on finding all of the ways I can use it on you the minute we get home,” he whispered into her ear.
She looked at her watch, glad that the flight only had another half an hour before it landed.

They were practically sprinting out of the airport, rolling suitcases screaming from the speed of the small wheels on the pavement as they ran toward the luxurious SUV Sidney rented for the weekend. Opening the backdoor, he threw both of their luggage into the trunk space before getting into the respective seats for the drive. Dulci climbed over the center console, straddling Sidney as she kissed him fully. They were both breathless as the continued in the airport parking lot, temporarily uncaring about the others in the parking lot. Dulci trailed her hand down his chest and stomach, landing on the belt buckle as she fumbled with it, eventually unbuckling it as she sucked and nipped aggressively at his jaw and neck. She smiled as she finally unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans, snaking her hand into his pants, enveloping his very erect penis.
“Not here,” Sidney managed as he reluctantly pulled her hand out, holding it in his as he looked at her. Dulci had her eyes closed, lips swollen from vigorous kissing, cheeks and neck red with arousal. Her breathing was slightly labored, each breath almost coming out as a whimper. When she finally opened her eyes, Sidney kissed her again, pulling her close against him.
“The drive it only twenty minutes,” he said against her lips as he found it difficult to stop kissing her, finding it even harder to remove his hands off of her breasts and ass as he caressed them.
“Start driving,” Dulci demanded. Without warning, she moved off of him and sat in the passenger’s seat, buttoning her cardigan as Sidney put the car in drive, speeding out of the parking lot toward his house.
Dulci snickered under her breath as she watched Sidney drive home, getting more and more irritated as they got stopped at every traffic intersection on the way to his house. His jaw was clenched, nostrils flared, hands wrapped so tightly around the steering wheel that his knuckles were white.
“God damn it,” he muttered as they got stuck at another stoplight. The twenty-minute drive had become closer to an hour because of the rush hour traffic. Dulci slid her hand onto his thigh, kneading lightly in an attempt to temporarily sooth him. He looked at her as he took her hand, kissing the back of it as his phone started to ring.
“Yeah,” Sidney answered without looking at the caller ID. While Dulci’s simple gesture worked for a small moment, Sidney was physically tense again, throwing his head back against the headrest.
“Fuck. I forgot,” he sighed, rubbing his free hand across his face.
“I know I said… I’m on my way to the house… Can’t you give me an hour?” he pleaded, accelerating through the intersection faster than he should have.
“Ok.. I’ll turn around.” He hung up, tossing his phone carelessly into the cup holder before making a U-turn.
“I’m sorry in advance,” Sidney started, hands clenching the steering wheel again. “I forgot I told my sister I’d practice with her today when I got home. She wont take no for an answer and I don’t want a temper tantrum to ruin our weekend.”
“So we’re going to play hockey?”
Sidney quickly turned to find Dulci grinning at him. He was preparing himself, certain that she’d be upset that their impending afternoon of uninhibited sex would be replaced with an impromptu trip to the rink.
“Uh.. We can play around a bit. She needs practice blocking shots. She’s a goalie.”
“Its a good thing I’m tagging along. I’ve got a mean…catch, block, save in the net,” she feigned confidence as she tried to remember the hockey terminology she wasn’t very familiar with.
“Is that so?” he laughed as he looked in his rearview mirror. “Maybe you could teach Taylor a thing or two about the game.”
“I’ll teach her everything I know,” Dulci continued to joke.
“Where is the weakest spot in your crease?” he asked, waiting patiently for Dulci to muster up an answer, knowing she wasn’t exactly the most knowledgeable when it came to hockey.
“You should know.”
Pulling up to the last intersection before the rink, Sidney looked at Dulci, appreciating her playfulness, only to find her looking at him with dark, hungry eyes.
“Five hole?” he asked, slowly running his hand up her leg. When he saw her brows subtly furrow, he amended his answer. “Between the legs?”
Dulci nodded, wishing they didn’t have to meet his sister to practice. It seemed as if the entire plane and car ride was nothing but foreplay, and Dulci’s body was practically wringing with sexual frustration. She wouldn’t complain because she found it adorable that he spent as much time with his sister as he schedule permitted given their distance, but she wanted to close her own recent and present distance from Sidney, both geographically and physically.
“Thank you for being so understanding,” he took her hand, giving it a small squeeze as he focused on the road.
“Of course. I think its sweet that you help your sister. I mean, you’re the best at what you do. You’d be doing her a disservice by not practicing with her. Besides, I haven’t been on skates in years.”
“I promise I’ll make it up to you,” he smiled as he pulled into the rink, more than grateful that Dulci was flexible with their sudden change of plans. He found himself hoping that she’d be as considerate years from now when meetings, conferences, interviews, photo shoots, and endless practices would interrupt their lives.
“Oh, I’m counting on you to make it up to me on every surface of your house tonight,” Dulci told him, staring him straight in the eyes. She unbuckled her seatbelt and opened the door before whispering, “with the belt,” turning in her seat to hop out of the SUV. He grabbed her arm, pulling her back into the vehicle, giving her a toe-curling kiss, reluctantly pulling away after a few moments, knowing they were at the brink of no return.
“Lets go and get this done and out of the way before I bend you over the backseat of the rental.”
It had been a little over an hour that they’d been practicing. Dulci did unsteady laps around one side of the rink as Sidney and Taylor practiced different techniques and shots on the other. She listened as he spoke to Taylor as both a brother and a mentor, giving her words of encouragement if she was getting frustrated or talking harmless trash if she successfully blocked a tough shot. Occasionally Dulci found herself to be the butt of their jokes as the siblings would yell to watch out, laughing as Dulci would crouch down to avoid getting hit. She didn’t mind, though, finding it to be the most fun she’d had in a long time. She found herself purposely yelling “brick,” when Sidney would wind up for a slap shot, doing a victory dance when he fanned. Dulci was skating over toward the opposite net when Sidney sped up behind her, catching her off guard as he hooked her around the waist with her arms, swinging her around and out of ear shout.
“You just wait until I get you home. There’s not telling what I’m going to do to you,” he said suggestively, pinning Dulci to the goal post between his arms.
“Get a room!” Taylor yelled from the other end of the ice, breaking up the verbal foreplay that Sidney and Dulci had started.
He winked at Dulci as he back-peddled away from her, turning to make another place at Taylor. Wanting to join in on their fun, Dulci slowly skated toward the siblings. She wasn’t sure how to go about asking to play, or if they would even let her try, but she figured it was worth a shot.
Sidney and Taylor were indistinctively talking, and as Dulci skated behind Sidney to get his attention, Taylor passed him some pucks to set up for more shots. Sidney reared backward, swinging his stick high in the air only to feel it hit something, and before he had the chance to turn around, fearing the worst, he heard something snap. He thought it was his stick, but when he turned around, he saw Dulci lying on the ice, reaching for an arm that was underneath her. She yelped a little when she sat up, clenching her teeth and screaming when she pulled her right arm around. Sidney knelt down instantly, trying to help her in some way.
“Dulci, I’m so sorry,” he repeated, wiping blood from the laceration on her right cheekbone, which he assumed was what his stick hit before she went down.
“Its ok,” she winced, tears streaming down her face as she held her arm. “I think I broke my arm,” she stuttered, trying not to hyperventilate from the overwhelming pain.
“Sid, we need to take her to the hospital,” Taylor nudged him before they both skated behind Dulci to help her up.

Sidney drove at record speeds to get Dulci to the hospital, only to wait in the emergency room waiting area for a while before getting triaged into a bed for radiographs and pain management.
“Good evening, Dulci. I’m Dr. Flannery, the orthopedic surgeon on call tonight. How are you feeling?”
“Those are good drugs,” Dulci slurred, finally feeling some relief after getting a hefty dose of narcotics. It didn’t help that she was exhausted from the week of conferences, the flight, the skating, or the very soothing thumb massage Sidney was giving her left hand. The IV catheter was painful, but his touch was helping her relax.
“It looks like you’ve got a pretty ugly humerus fracture above your right elbow. You’ll need surgery to have this repaired.”
Sidney sat out of the way and let the nurses take over, stripping Dulci out of her clothes and into a hospital gown.
“So much for our night of steamy sex,” Dulci whispered, trying to lighten the mood as she signed the surgical release forms sloppily with her left hand, handing it to a nurse.
“At least I got to see you naked,” he half-grinned.
“Yeah, I’m sure I looked really sexy with the highly unflattering lights, angles, and this nice gash,” she pointed to her face before patting the bed for him to join her.
“You always look beautiful, bad lighting and all,” he kissed her sutured cheek as he tried to squeeze into the bed beside her.
“I have an embarrassing admission,” she closed her eyes, feeling the effects of the narcotics getting stronger. “I’m terrified of anesthesia.”
“The doctor is afraid of anesthesia?” he teased her.
“I anesthetize, not the other way around. And besides, I know about the risks and complications of anesthesia. One of my first routine surgeries out of vet school died from unforeseen anesthesia complications.”
“You’ll be fine.”
“What if I’m not fine? What if me being rolled out of this room on a gurney is the last time we see each other?”
“Dulci, you’ll be fine, and I’ll be right here waiting for you after surgery,” he held her close, wanting to ease her drug-induced neuroses about anesthesia related deaths.
“The surgery is going to take eight or nine hours. Go home and sleep in your bed,” she yawned, snuggling into him, wanting him to stay, but knowing it would be more feasible for him to leave considering it was getting late.
“I’m not leaving. I’ll be here when you’re out of surgery,” he told her as the nurses came to take her down to the OR.
He could feel her body become tense through the drugs, knowing she was panicking about the anesthesia. He whispered repeatedly that she’d be fine as they rolled her through the hallway until they reached the elevator.
“This is it,” he pointed to the “No Visitors Past This Point” sign. He leaned in to kiss her, caressing her cheek in a comforting manner. As he pulled away, he saw that a couple of tears had fallen, and it broke his heart.
“Please don’t leave,” she whispered, completely negating everything she told him only a couple moments prior.
“I wont,” he squeezed her hand before kissing her palm.
“Incase I don’t wake up,” she started, staring vulnerably at him, “I love you.”
Before he got a chance to reciprocate, something that he’d wanted to do for a long time when they were both conscious, the nurses rolled her through the doors to the OR suites, leaving him standing alone in a busy hallway, wanting to rush through the doors to tell her how he felt.
He walked slowly back into the waiting area, sitting next to Taylor.
“They just took her into surgery?” she asked, holding up her phone with a message from their mother.
“Yeah,” he reclined into the uncomfortable seat, knowing he wouldn’t get a second of sleep in that hospital.
“Are you ok?” she asked, tapping him on the knee.
“Yeah,” he repeated in the same tone.
“What’s wrong?” she threw her phone in her pocket, turning to give him her undivided attention.
“I didn’t get a chance to tell her that I love her,” he said honestly, expecting his sister to give him shit about it, but she only nodded sympathetically.
“I’m sure she knows, Sid.”
“I hope so,” he exhaled, wishing time would go by quickly.
“Maybe you should go home and get some rest,” she rose, stretching her arms above her head before pulling her keys out of her pocket.
“I’m staying,” he told her as he stood, hugging his sister before sitting back down, settling in for a long night.
The first two hours were filled with phone games, aimless internet searches, and Christmas shopping. One of the doctor’s would come to find him every hour with an update on the progress, but time seemed to get slower and slower with every glance at his watch.
He felt Dulci’s phone vibrate in his pocket, and when he pulled it out, he saw that she had a missed calls and message from someone named “Anderson”. He listened to the voice message, telling himself that it wouldn’t be snooping if the message required a call back.
“Hey Dulci. I got in touch with four of the surgical internships/residencies that we discussed. They’re very interested in you. Just a reminder, one is in Denver, one is in Annapolis, one is in Los Angeles, and one is in Ithaca. They’re just waiting on your applications and letters of recommendation. Give me a call back.”
Sidney pulled the phone from his ear, confused by the context of the message. Dulci had only said once that she considered getting board certified for surgery, but told him and his family that she wanted to focus on geriatric orthopedic medicine, that she wanted to open a rehab facility. What changed her mind, and why hadn’t she talked to him about it? He’d be more than happy to support her in whatever she decided to do. He chided himself for feeling left out, as if he wasn’t a factor in her future decision-making. Shaking his head, he decided to compartmentalize his insecurities until he could talk to her and hear her side of the story.

Notes