Rhythm of Love
Chapter 011: Do You Remember
August 1st, 2013.
The local community club that was in the area was pretty dead from what it seemed. There was a baseball field, indoor hockey rink, indoor and outdoor basketball court, a workout area and a dance room. I really wanted to just burn some stress off, so here I was, at the dance studio.
After so much drama and sorrow I needed some time alone. Daniel had went home to check in with his family and he had some doctor appointments to attend. He was scheduled to be coming back today. I loved having Daniel back, but it still didn't feel the same. I'm not saying that it was better without him. I just wish it would all go back to normal.
Carey and I still weren't talk to each other. I have seen him around, but he was usually with people and he seemed really happy. I didn't want to bother him.
I hit play on my iPod, and played Freak by Estelle. I let myself dance as I started with a 6-step move. I loved including different types of movements in between my b-boy moves. I let the rhythm of the songs take over and my transition moves just kept coming out and I was in love with the moment. This is what I used to live for; dancing and singing.
When I danced I felt so free, almost as if nothing would bother me. The song kept booming through the speakers and my heart kept thumping. After incorporating some other types of dance genre's I stopped. My ending one-hand freeze was a usual. The song was over, along with my jumbled routine.
I stood there and looked at myself in the mirror. My black hip-hop sagged pants, along with my red croptop weren't doing me any justice. I kind of looked like I was being dressed by Justin Bieber. This was the way I would dress when dancing.
I put my hair in a messy bun and grabbed my bag. I headed down the hallway. As I was passing the hockey rink there was a guy, all alone. My mind said no, but my body said yes. I crept into the arena and I watched the guy, shoot around and do little moves before banking it in easily. I leaned over the boards and watched the tall black haired beauty. Carey Price, was the man who skated in front of me. He hadn't even noticed I was here yet.
"So, you're a forward too, are ya'?" I joked, causing Carey to turn around. He seemed to be surprised that I would be here.
"R-Rydell, what are you doing here?" He asked, and I just smiled. I really didn't want this to be awkward between us. If we couldn't be a thing, I at least wanted to be his friend. I mean he was so caring and there for you.
"I was in the dance studio. I was on my way out when I seen you in through the windows." I explained as I put my bag down. It was a little chilly in the arena. Why wouldn't it be?
"Oh. So, how have you been?" He skated towards me and asked. He had on hockey gloves, a sweatshirt, sweat pants and was wearing nonetheless, hockey skates.
"I've been okay." I lied. Right now I wasn't okay, I was dying inside. I was in a relationship that didn't feel real. I had a father who was slowly dying.
"Really? I would have expected you to be more estatic. I mean you're boyfriend finally remembers you, am I right?" Carey bitterly answered. I can't believe that he would say that.
"You know what Carey, he made me so happy and I was so in love with him. When you love someone the way I love him, you don't ever leave them. You stick by them." I argued, louder. I was now angry and sad.
"Rydell, that's the problem. You were still in love with him! You left him, but you're heart didn't leave. I tried everything I could to try win you over without pushing it and being insensitive!" He yelled back. My mind whirled and millions of thoughts were swimming through my head.
I was no longer leaning on the side boards. I took a reasonable step back. Carey stood straight up and stared me deep in the eyes.
"Carey, you just don't get it!" I retorted back. "I-I wanted to be with you. Sometimes, it doesn't always work out. I'm so sorry, Carey. This is all my fault. I made a mistake. I wish I didn't do this to you or to myself." I was so lost for words. I just wanted him to know that it was all my fault. Many things in life were my fault.
"Rydell, don't beat yourself up like this." He urged, but of course I brushed off his plea.
"It's okay. I better get going." I spoke before leaving him dumbfounded.
I always wanted to feel love. When I got to feel love it wasn't what I wanted to feel. It never lasts, in the end it dies. Maybe it's just who I am. I'm clinically depressed or just not mentally stable. I'd like to think that it's the same thing. I have said this so many times before, but I wish I could go back.
* * *
Flashback. June 19th, 2012.
I rested my head on Carey's chest and laid there quietly. The silence was relieving and beautiful. His breathing soothed my body and my mind was able to think. Every time we touched I was able to be me all over again, it was like the feeling I had with Daniel.
"Rydell, where do you get the inspiration to write your songs?" He randomly questioned. I just thought about it before answering. There were a couple of different methods I would use to write songs.
"From life experiences or sometimes through stories people tell me. Other times I think of a couple of rhyming words and then I'm off writing a new song." I explained. Carey listened and played with my hair. I wouldn't lie, but his bed was really comfortable. It was much better than mine in my opinion.
"How many songs have you written about people?" He catechized. Carey took a strong interest in my own career. I wasn't really famous or had much popularity. I was very normal and nothing of the difference.
I chuckled a little bit. "Too many to count." I told him, honestly.
"Have you wrote anything about me?" He asked. I knew he would be very attracted to this topic. Who wouldn't be? I would sure be.
"No, I actually haven't. Maybe one day I will." I responded.
"If you do, it better be a country song." He joked and I just laughed with him. His humour and laugh would always get me. I was swooned for this guy.
"Oh don't worry, it will be, partner!" I imitated my best cowboy accent and he howled with laughter. I didn't really think that I sounded like a cowgirl. I sounded like a country-hick.
"If you keep talking like that I may have to try and run away from you. It sounded completely awful. It wasn't attractive what so ever." His angelic voice rung through my head. I got up and decided to switch positions. I moved and sat on top of Carey. I looked down at him and he just smirked. I made a little heart with my hands and looked through it. Carey did the same and I laughed with him. "You're a dork." He teased, playfully. I just giggled and pushed him a little.
"You did it too!" I retorted, happily.
"Yeah, but when I did it I made it cooler." He answered and I laughed again. Carey loved to tease, but he would never take it too far. He was perfect. His beautiful slightly curly black hair was pulchritudinous. It would win me over any day. His stunning eyes and smile would pull me over the age and the feel of his touch would end it for me.
"You're mean." I pouted before leaning down to kiss him. He pulled me closer to him and it was pure euphoria. He hands were placed on my back and my hands roamed through his hair. I could feel his smile on the kiss. It was true bliss.