Seeing Stars
04: I Want Crazy
"I don't want good, and I don't want good enough, I want can't sleep, can't breathe without your love... I want crazy."
“So what did you and Captain Benn do last night?” Kennedy smirked, shooting Cassidy a sly glance from beneath her thick-rimmed glasses. Today she opted to not wear her contacts, giving her a more hipster look.
“We had hot, steamy hockey sex in the shower,” Cassidy replied, winking coyly. Kennedy’s jaw dropped open and Cassidy began to laugh shaking her head, “I’m just kidding.”
Kennedy didn’t look amused as she viciously stabbed at her eggs with her fork. “I’m serious. You didn’t get in until two this morning. What was going on?”
Cassidy shrugged and smiled, recalling the night she had spent with Jamie. “We were at a bar for awhile and when we left, he drove me back home. We just ended up talking in his car for a few hours.”
“Yeah, talking… as in, you inspected the contours of his di…”
“No,” Cassidy blurted. “Honestly we just talked. Then at the end of the night, I just got out of his car.”
“He didn’t even kiss you goodnight?” When Cassidy shook her head, Kennedy sighed and continued, “did you get his number?” Cassidy shook her head again and Kennedy pounded her fists down on the counter, “what the hell are you doing with your life Knoxious?!”
Cassidy laughed and rubbed her eyes, picking her tote bag off of the chair beside the counter. She waved her hand at her roommate and left the apartment, sliding into her crappy, old car and drove off for campus. It was the first day she had classes since her birthday, and although she wasn’t close friends with anyone in her classes, she was happy to at least tell them about her weekend. Of course, she’d leave out the whole Dallas Stars encounter.
The campus was fairly small but was still big enough for Cassidy to think she’d never run into anyone she really knew. There were a lot of students at the school, and as she walked to class, she thought about the stories she would tell her acquaintances.
“Cassidy Knox,”
At the sound of her name, Cassidy turned around. The only person around her was a man in a black beanie, sporting a gray wool coat, dark scarf, and a pair of dark pants. It took a moment for her to recognize the man. When she saw who it was, she rolled her eyes and met him halfway.
“How’d you find me here?” She murmured, noticing how he pulled on the collar of his coat, keeping his face hidden.
“I didn’t get your number last night and I felt that was a shame.”
How sly was he to avoid that question? She grinned at Jamie, looking around the campus nervously.
“You know what,” Jamie pulled his wallet out of his pocket and flicked it open, pulling out a business card, “here’s my number. You can call me if you want.” He winked and handed it over, pausing until Cassidy took it from his hands. “But since I’m already here, let’s hang out.”
“I have class. Plus don’t you have some sort of job?” She giggled and ran her fingers over the small card, looking down at his name and number.
“It’s an off day. And I’m willing to sit in on your class if you’re willing to go out with me afterwards.”
“Jamie Benn, aren’t you worried someone will recognize you?”
“It’s a risk I’m willing to take.”
Cassidy blushed as he spoke and then nodded her head in the opposite direction, leading him to her class.
It truly was a blessing that her class happened to be in a lecture hall, composed of nearly two hundred seats, many of which were left empty by the students’ inability to wake up in the mornings.
Cassidy usually sat closer to the front, but today she opted to sit near the back considering her company for today’s class. By the time the professor got in and began speaking, just over half of the seats were occupied, and the closest person to Cassidy and Jamie was two rows in front of them.
Jamie leaned over in his chair and looked at Cassidy as she began writing in her notebook. “Last time I was in a classroom, I was seventeen.” He winked and flashed his eyes back to the professor as he leaned over the small desk in front of him.
Cassidy offered a quick smile and then returned her focus to the subject at hand: Business law. Out of all her classes, this was the one she had hoped Jamie wouldn’t sit in on. Between all the complicated legal jargon, and Jamie’s strong arm encircled around her shoulders, she found it incredibly difficult to concentrate.
“I’m having a hard time paying attention with you next to me,” she murmured, looking back up at the professor, writing down the next bit of notes. She took a deep breath, taking in the smell of his cologne, smiling at the masculine scent.
He smiled at her, watching her write, and began to drag his fingertips up and down the upper part of her arm, “I can leave if you want.”
She shook her head once, adjusting herself in her chair until she could lean into Jamie’s shoulder, melting into the side of his body. He reciprocated her action by turning his head to the side, taking in a long, slow breath, smelling her coconut shampoo.
“What’s your major,” he whispered, still moving his fingers along her arm slowly.
“Business management,” she whispered back. When she looked up at him, she noticed he had been staring at her, and she felt her cheeks become hotter, followed by a light squeeze against her shoulder.
“Beautiful and smart,” he mentioned.
At the sound of his voice, she felt herself blush harder and she brought her free hand up to her face, leaning against it to hide her pink cheeks. Jamie chuckled and pulled his arm away from Cassidy’s shoulders, bringing his hands up to his eyes and rubbing them softly as he yawned.
Meanwhile, Cassidy continued to jot down notes, her hand moving continuously in an effort to keep up with the speed of the professor. Then, her breath caught in her throat as Jamie set his hand down on her lap, squeezing her thigh playfully. She glanced up at him to see that he wasn’t even looking at her. His head was tilted to the side and his eyes were glued to the professor, absently taking in everything he said.
When his fingers began to tap along her leg, she knew he hadn’t done it to distract her necessarily. More so it seemed like it was just a natural, subconscious motion for him. And rather than feeling awkward beneath his touch, she found some comfort in his almost innocent touching.
“How long is this class?” Jamie muttered softly, sinking down in the chair. He fingers had stopped moving and now he just simply lay his hand over her thigh, his fingertips tucking in between her legs. Somehow even this felt platonic.
Without looking up from her paper, Cassidy responded. “Two and a half hours.”
Jamie’s head flicked towards hers and Cassidy smiled at him, going on to explain she only had it once a week. He let out a quiet groan and she looked down at his hand that lay limp in her lap. Gently, Cassidy brought her free hand down and set it on top of his, curling her fingers around his palm.
When class was over, Jamie was the first one up, tugging on Cassidy’s hand to get out of the lecture hall as quickly as possible. He had been patient waiting around for the class to end, and for that she was grateful.
However by the time the class had ended, the campus had gotten significantly more crowded, and with the mass of students moving around, it was nearly impossible for Jamie to walk around without whispers around him, murmuring his name.
“Mr. Benn, can I get your autograph?”
Cassidy looked up at a beautiful brunette. Despite the cold weather, she still wore a low cut top, and immediately, Cassidy felt insecure around her. She even noticed that Jamie’s eyes seemed glued to the girl, even as he took the pen and paper from her and started signing his name.
“What are you doing on the campus,” the girl asked inquisitively.
Jamie took his time with the answer, “just visiting an old friend of mine.” He nodded his head towards Cassidy.
The brunette shot her a quick glance and then reached in to touch Jamie’s arm. “Well thank you so much. I’m happy I ran into you. Maybe we’ll run into each other again soon.”
He smiled and watched the brunette walk away. When he looked down at Cassidy, she rolled her eyes slightly and began walking. Once again, Jamie was forced to jog until he caught up with her.
“You’re mad again,”
“When you pick your jaw up from off the floor, we can talk,” Cassidy spat, keeping her gaze in front of her.
“What are you talking about? I just signed an autograph.” He pleaded his case.
“Yeah, and I’m just an old friend you’re visiting.”
“It’s just easier to say that than to explain whatever this is.”
“Jamie, I don’t want easy. I want to believe I’m worth fighting for, that I’m someone you want to brag to the world about. And if all I’m ever going to be is ‘an old friend’, I don’t want any part of it.” She paused and stopped walking, looking up at Jamie, “I want to be someone’s first choice, not their last resort.”
“Would I have sat in a lecture hall for two and a half hours for a girl that was a last resort? Would I have stayed up for God knows how long to talk in the backseat of my car with a girl that was a last resort? Last resorts are the girls you go to when you just want to get laid.”
He set his hands down on her shoulders and she pulled away from him, now refusing to meet his eyes.
“Cass, I don’t want you to think that I’m talking to you for bragging rights. If my intentions were to just have sex, I would’ve laid you down in the backseat of my car and had my way with you.” He gripped onto her shoulders again until she finally looked up at him, “am I calling you an old friend for now? Yeah, because honestly, I don’t know what to call this yet.”
Cassidy took a deep breath in and played with a button on Jamie’s wool coat before she spoke. “You have to go slow with me. Shit’s happened in my life and it changed me. But I don’t want you to lie about me. I’m not an old friend and I’m not some girl you’re sleeping with… Right now I’m just a new person you’re getting to know.”
She tugged on the ends of his jacket, pulling him until he began walking with her. When she finally let go, Jamie took the liberty of wrapping his arm around her back, hooking it over her hip.
“So what did you and Captain Benn do last night?” Kennedy smirked, shooting Cassidy a sly glance from beneath her thick-rimmed glasses. Today she opted to not wear her contacts, giving her a more hipster look.
“We had hot, steamy hockey sex in the shower,” Cassidy replied, winking coyly. Kennedy’s jaw dropped open and Cassidy began to laugh shaking her head, “I’m just kidding.”
Kennedy didn’t look amused as she viciously stabbed at her eggs with her fork. “I’m serious. You didn’t get in until two this morning. What was going on?”
Cassidy shrugged and smiled, recalling the night she had spent with Jamie. “We were at a bar for awhile and when we left, he drove me back home. We just ended up talking in his car for a few hours.”
“Yeah, talking… as in, you inspected the contours of his di…”
“No,” Cassidy blurted. “Honestly we just talked. Then at the end of the night, I just got out of his car.”
“He didn’t even kiss you goodnight?” When Cassidy shook her head, Kennedy sighed and continued, “did you get his number?” Cassidy shook her head again and Kennedy pounded her fists down on the counter, “what the hell are you doing with your life Knoxious?!”
Cassidy laughed and rubbed her eyes, picking her tote bag off of the chair beside the counter. She waved her hand at her roommate and left the apartment, sliding into her crappy, old car and drove off for campus. It was the first day she had classes since her birthday, and although she wasn’t close friends with anyone in her classes, she was happy to at least tell them about her weekend. Of course, she’d leave out the whole Dallas Stars encounter.
The campus was fairly small but was still big enough for Cassidy to think she’d never run into anyone she really knew. There were a lot of students at the school, and as she walked to class, she thought about the stories she would tell her acquaintances.
“Cassidy Knox,”
At the sound of her name, Cassidy turned around. The only person around her was a man in a black beanie, sporting a gray wool coat, dark scarf, and a pair of dark pants. It took a moment for her to recognize the man. When she saw who it was, she rolled her eyes and met him halfway.
“How’d you find me here?” She murmured, noticing how he pulled on the collar of his coat, keeping his face hidden.
“I didn’t get your number last night and I felt that was a shame.”
How sly was he to avoid that question? She grinned at Jamie, looking around the campus nervously.
“You know what,” Jamie pulled his wallet out of his pocket and flicked it open, pulling out a business card, “here’s my number. You can call me if you want.” He winked and handed it over, pausing until Cassidy took it from his hands. “But since I’m already here, let’s hang out.”
“I have class. Plus don’t you have some sort of job?” She giggled and ran her fingers over the small card, looking down at his name and number.
“It’s an off day. And I’m willing to sit in on your class if you’re willing to go out with me afterwards.”
“Jamie Benn, aren’t you worried someone will recognize you?”
“It’s a risk I’m willing to take.”
Cassidy blushed as he spoke and then nodded her head in the opposite direction, leading him to her class.
It truly was a blessing that her class happened to be in a lecture hall, composed of nearly two hundred seats, many of which were left empty by the students’ inability to wake up in the mornings.
Cassidy usually sat closer to the front, but today she opted to sit near the back considering her company for today’s class. By the time the professor got in and began speaking, just over half of the seats were occupied, and the closest person to Cassidy and Jamie was two rows in front of them.
Jamie leaned over in his chair and looked at Cassidy as she began writing in her notebook. “Last time I was in a classroom, I was seventeen.” He winked and flashed his eyes back to the professor as he leaned over the small desk in front of him.
Cassidy offered a quick smile and then returned her focus to the subject at hand: Business law. Out of all her classes, this was the one she had hoped Jamie wouldn’t sit in on. Between all the complicated legal jargon, and Jamie’s strong arm encircled around her shoulders, she found it incredibly difficult to concentrate.
“I’m having a hard time paying attention with you next to me,” she murmured, looking back up at the professor, writing down the next bit of notes. She took a deep breath, taking in the smell of his cologne, smiling at the masculine scent.
He smiled at her, watching her write, and began to drag his fingertips up and down the upper part of her arm, “I can leave if you want.”
She shook her head once, adjusting herself in her chair until she could lean into Jamie’s shoulder, melting into the side of his body. He reciprocated her action by turning his head to the side, taking in a long, slow breath, smelling her coconut shampoo.
“What’s your major,” he whispered, still moving his fingers along her arm slowly.
“Business management,” she whispered back. When she looked up at him, she noticed he had been staring at her, and she felt her cheeks become hotter, followed by a light squeeze against her shoulder.
“Beautiful and smart,” he mentioned.
At the sound of his voice, she felt herself blush harder and she brought her free hand up to her face, leaning against it to hide her pink cheeks. Jamie chuckled and pulled his arm away from Cassidy’s shoulders, bringing his hands up to his eyes and rubbing them softly as he yawned.
Meanwhile, Cassidy continued to jot down notes, her hand moving continuously in an effort to keep up with the speed of the professor. Then, her breath caught in her throat as Jamie set his hand down on her lap, squeezing her thigh playfully. She glanced up at him to see that he wasn’t even looking at her. His head was tilted to the side and his eyes were glued to the professor, absently taking in everything he said.
When his fingers began to tap along her leg, she knew he hadn’t done it to distract her necessarily. More so it seemed like it was just a natural, subconscious motion for him. And rather than feeling awkward beneath his touch, she found some comfort in his almost innocent touching.
“How long is this class?” Jamie muttered softly, sinking down in the chair. He fingers had stopped moving and now he just simply lay his hand over her thigh, his fingertips tucking in between her legs. Somehow even this felt platonic.
Without looking up from her paper, Cassidy responded. “Two and a half hours.”
Jamie’s head flicked towards hers and Cassidy smiled at him, going on to explain she only had it once a week. He let out a quiet groan and she looked down at his hand that lay limp in her lap. Gently, Cassidy brought her free hand down and set it on top of his, curling her fingers around his palm.
When class was over, Jamie was the first one up, tugging on Cassidy’s hand to get out of the lecture hall as quickly as possible. He had been patient waiting around for the class to end, and for that she was grateful.
However by the time the class had ended, the campus had gotten significantly more crowded, and with the mass of students moving around, it was nearly impossible for Jamie to walk around without whispers around him, murmuring his name.
“Mr. Benn, can I get your autograph?”
Cassidy looked up at a beautiful brunette. Despite the cold weather, she still wore a low cut top, and immediately, Cassidy felt insecure around her. She even noticed that Jamie’s eyes seemed glued to the girl, even as he took the pen and paper from her and started signing his name.
“What are you doing on the campus,” the girl asked inquisitively.
Jamie took his time with the answer, “just visiting an old friend of mine.” He nodded his head towards Cassidy.
The brunette shot her a quick glance and then reached in to touch Jamie’s arm. “Well thank you so much. I’m happy I ran into you. Maybe we’ll run into each other again soon.”
He smiled and watched the brunette walk away. When he looked down at Cassidy, she rolled her eyes slightly and began walking. Once again, Jamie was forced to jog until he caught up with her.
“You’re mad again,”
“When you pick your jaw up from off the floor, we can talk,” Cassidy spat, keeping her gaze in front of her.
“What are you talking about? I just signed an autograph.” He pleaded his case.
“Yeah, and I’m just an old friend you’re visiting.”
“It’s just easier to say that than to explain whatever this is.”
“Jamie, I don’t want easy. I want to believe I’m worth fighting for, that I’m someone you want to brag to the world about. And if all I’m ever going to be is ‘an old friend’, I don’t want any part of it.” She paused and stopped walking, looking up at Jamie, “I want to be someone’s first choice, not their last resort.”
“Would I have sat in a lecture hall for two and a half hours for a girl that was a last resort? Would I have stayed up for God knows how long to talk in the backseat of my car with a girl that was a last resort? Last resorts are the girls you go to when you just want to get laid.”
He set his hands down on her shoulders and she pulled away from him, now refusing to meet his eyes.
“Cass, I don’t want you to think that I’m talking to you for bragging rights. If my intentions were to just have sex, I would’ve laid you down in the backseat of my car and had my way with you.” He gripped onto her shoulders again until she finally looked up at him, “am I calling you an old friend for now? Yeah, because honestly, I don’t know what to call this yet.”
Cassidy took a deep breath in and played with a button on Jamie’s wool coat before she spoke. “You have to go slow with me. Shit’s happened in my life and it changed me. But I don’t want you to lie about me. I’m not an old friend and I’m not some girl you’re sleeping with… Right now I’m just a new person you’re getting to know.”
She tugged on the ends of his jacket, pulling him until he began walking with her. When she finally let go, Jamie took the liberty of wrapping his arm around her back, hooking it over her hip.
Notes
This chapter is titled after "I Want Crazy" by Hunter Hayes.
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5/2/16