Seeing Stars
05: If You Ever Get Lonely
“Even if it’s only the sound of someone’s voice who loves you that you need to hear, you know where to find me, if you ever get lonely…”
Forgetting Jamie Benn existed proved to be easier than expected for Cassidy. Especially with him and the team being out of Texas on a two week road trip. And what was up with him calling her Cass, like they were already on the level of giving each other nicknames. Only two people in this world called her that: her mom and her dad. Not even Kennedy referred to her as that.
So with the team out of town, Cassidy buried herself into school. If she were ever going to make it to California, she’d need a degree to fall back on. As time went on, Kennedy was becoming less motivated to leave the south, especially now since she had some sort of contact with players of the Dallas Stars.
“Hey dad,” Cassidy put her phone on speakerphone and set it down on her bed as she continued typing on her laptop.
“Hi Cass, what’s going on?”
“Some homework. I want to try to go to sleep at a decent hour tonight.” She smiled and looked at the clock on her laptop. It was just nearing nine at night.
“Sounds like a good plan. And just let me know if you want anymore hockey tickets. Steve from work can wire me some.”
“I don’t think I’ll need them. It just really wasn’t my sport, you know?”
“Yeah, it really was just mine and your mother’s thing. Well I just wanted to check in… see how things were going. I miss you Cass.” He sounded defeated on the phone.
“I know I miss you too. I’ll be home during summer, but I’m working through spring break.”
“Alright, well I’ll see you in June then.”
“Hang in there, pops.”
He hung up shortly after that. Cassidy knew she shouldn’t feel guilty about going to school in a different state. It wasn’t like she was the only person to do it. But truth was, she really did miss her dad. And she knew it was hard on him for her to be away.
She climbed out of bed and pulled open her bedroom door, walking out into the kitchen to grab a spoon and a small carton of ice cream. One her way back to her room, she could hear Kennedy and a boy doing Lord knows what behind closed doors. When Cassidy pushed her bedroom door back open, she clutched at her heart, breathing heavily and unevenly.
There he was, sitting on the edge of her bed, his hands clasped in his lap, waiting for her. Once Cassidy took hold of the situation, she walked further into her room, shutting the door behind her. She stood across from him, still slightly confused.
“Kennedy let us in. I was in the bathroom. And I think she and Tyler made off for her bedroom.” Jamie explained, looking to his left as Cassidy sat down beside him, pulling the lid to the ice cream carton off.
She pushed the spoon into the ice cream, watching it sink into the chocolaty delight. When she glanced up at Jamie, he was still just watching her.
“I just thought I’d come by because you never called me,”
Cassidy pushed the spoon into her mouth and then went back in to get more ice cream. “You said call if I wanted to. I didn’t want to.”
Jamie rubbed his eyes, “I was gone for two weeks hoping I’d hear from you…” He trailed off, “am I doing something wrong? I’m not entirely understanding the mixed signals from you. One moment you seem into me, the next you’re totally cold.”
Cassidy pushed the spoon back into her mouth, regretting her action as she became overwhelmed with a brain freeze. “You called me Cass,”
He stared at her quietly, only moving to scoot himself further onto the bed, leaning up against the wall that her bed was pushed up against. “Uh… I was just shortening your name.”
“The only people to call me that are my mom and dad.” She carefully set the ice cream carton down on her bed, and looked back at Jamie.
He reached forward, motioned for the carton, and when Cassidy nodded, he grabbed it, scooping some ice cream out with the spoon and put it in his mouth. “So you didn’t call because I called you a nickname only your parents can call you? Don’t you think you should’ve told me that so I would be aware?”
Cassidy shrugged and sat further back on her bed, crossing her legs beneath her. “Honestly I’m pretty scared. I saw how Tyler was, and you’re his best friend so I thought you’d be like that.” She paused and watched Jamie as he put another spoonful of ice cream into his mouth. “If you haven’t noticed, I tend to run when things get rough; it’s easier.”
“It’s also pretty lonely,” Jamie placed the ice cream carton lid back on and reached over to put it and the spoon on the nightstand beside Cassidy’s bed.
He held his hand out, and Cassidy looked down at it, slowly placing her hand in his, crawling in as he urged her towards him. She sat beside him, curling into his side as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.
Sometime later as the night wore on, Tyler came into the room, asking if Jamie was ready to go. With a momentary pause, Jamie replied that he’d find his own way back to his house. And after Tyler left the room, Cassidy opened up her laptop and slipped a movie into the disc drive. As the menu sequence appeared, Jamie groaned at the sight of The Notebook.
Cassidy giggled and lay down on her side, facing the computer, leaving room for Jamie behind her. He too lay down on his side, draping one arm over Cassidy’s hip as his body traced the outline of hers as they spooned.
“You make a good big spoon,” Cassidy murmured as the movie began. She snuck a quick glance back at Jamie.
He smiled and tightened his arm around her hip, “I think that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”
She giggled quietly and turned to lie on her back, keeping her head facing the computer screen. Now as Jamie’s hand rest over her toned stomach, she grinned at the feeling of his thumb moving over the fabric of her thin tank top. She could feel his eyes on her rather than on the movie, and she turned to look up at him, her eyes wide as his body lay partially on hers.
Jamie licked his lower lip quickly. His eyes flicked down to her lips and then back to meet hers all in an instant. Cassidy bit her lower lip and lifted her hips off of the bed, readjusting herself along it, while knowing that her waist rolled against Jamie’s as he leaned into her.
When their lips met, Cassidy became coy, setting her hand against his shoulder while only offering quick pecks. Jamie placed his hand on the side of her neck, pressing his fingertips gently into the back of it. He dragged his tongue across her lips, softly biting onto her lower one, while his free hand drifted down her body, stopping at her hip to hold her tightly.
Slowly, his lips moved down to her neck, sucking on her soft skin, and Cassidy brought her hand to the back of his neck, tugging at the ends of his hair. “Jamie,”
“Why does she want to be a bird? And why the hell does he want to be one too?” Jamie groaned clearly annoyed with the fact that he was being forced to watch the movie.
Cassidy grinned and looked down at him. After their quick make out session had ended with Cassidy being awkward as usual, she sat with her back against her bedroom wall. As she was intent on watching the movie, Jamie moved and laid his head down in her lap. Cassidy smiled and softly ran her fingers through his hair.
Now as he asked his frustrated question, Cassidy moved her hand away from his hair as he turned onto his back, his head still in her lap. She set her hand down on his chest and spoke quietly, “she wants to be a bird because they’re free, and that’s all she really wants. And he wants to be a bird because he wants to be with her. It’s romantic,” she brushed Jamie’s hair away from his eyes and blushed as his eyes seemed to pierce into hers.
“Zebras are free, tigers are free… she could’ve picked something more badass.”
Cassidy shook her head, “Birds aren’t bound by fences. They don’t know the confinement of state lines or country borders.” She paused and bit her lip, “they’re just free.”
Jamie placed his hand on top of hers, “do you sometimes wish you were a bird?”
She nodded and set her head back against the wall, “the thought’s crossed my mind once or twice. Be able to fly out of here and make something of this life I’ve been given.” Again, her charming southern accent began to become more prevalent.
He smiled and turned his head to look back at the computer screen, “as long as you didn’t choose a shitty bird, I’d be a bird with you.”
Forgetting Jamie Benn existed proved to be easier than expected for Cassidy. Especially with him and the team being out of Texas on a two week road trip. And what was up with him calling her Cass, like they were already on the level of giving each other nicknames. Only two people in this world called her that: her mom and her dad. Not even Kennedy referred to her as that.
So with the team out of town, Cassidy buried herself into school. If she were ever going to make it to California, she’d need a degree to fall back on. As time went on, Kennedy was becoming less motivated to leave the south, especially now since she had some sort of contact with players of the Dallas Stars.
“Hey dad,” Cassidy put her phone on speakerphone and set it down on her bed as she continued typing on her laptop.
“Hi Cass, what’s going on?”
“Some homework. I want to try to go to sleep at a decent hour tonight.” She smiled and looked at the clock on her laptop. It was just nearing nine at night.
“Sounds like a good plan. And just let me know if you want anymore hockey tickets. Steve from work can wire me some.”
“I don’t think I’ll need them. It just really wasn’t my sport, you know?”
“Yeah, it really was just mine and your mother’s thing. Well I just wanted to check in… see how things were going. I miss you Cass.” He sounded defeated on the phone.
“I know I miss you too. I’ll be home during summer, but I’m working through spring break.”
“Alright, well I’ll see you in June then.”
“Hang in there, pops.”
He hung up shortly after that. Cassidy knew she shouldn’t feel guilty about going to school in a different state. It wasn’t like she was the only person to do it. But truth was, she really did miss her dad. And she knew it was hard on him for her to be away.
She climbed out of bed and pulled open her bedroom door, walking out into the kitchen to grab a spoon and a small carton of ice cream. One her way back to her room, she could hear Kennedy and a boy doing Lord knows what behind closed doors. When Cassidy pushed her bedroom door back open, she clutched at her heart, breathing heavily and unevenly.
There he was, sitting on the edge of her bed, his hands clasped in his lap, waiting for her. Once Cassidy took hold of the situation, she walked further into her room, shutting the door behind her. She stood across from him, still slightly confused.
“Kennedy let us in. I was in the bathroom. And I think she and Tyler made off for her bedroom.” Jamie explained, looking to his left as Cassidy sat down beside him, pulling the lid to the ice cream carton off.
She pushed the spoon into the ice cream, watching it sink into the chocolaty delight. When she glanced up at Jamie, he was still just watching her.
“I just thought I’d come by because you never called me,”
Cassidy pushed the spoon into her mouth and then went back in to get more ice cream. “You said call if I wanted to. I didn’t want to.”
Jamie rubbed his eyes, “I was gone for two weeks hoping I’d hear from you…” He trailed off, “am I doing something wrong? I’m not entirely understanding the mixed signals from you. One moment you seem into me, the next you’re totally cold.”
Cassidy pushed the spoon back into her mouth, regretting her action as she became overwhelmed with a brain freeze. “You called me Cass,”
He stared at her quietly, only moving to scoot himself further onto the bed, leaning up against the wall that her bed was pushed up against. “Uh… I was just shortening your name.”
“The only people to call me that are my mom and dad.” She carefully set the ice cream carton down on her bed, and looked back at Jamie.
He reached forward, motioned for the carton, and when Cassidy nodded, he grabbed it, scooping some ice cream out with the spoon and put it in his mouth. “So you didn’t call because I called you a nickname only your parents can call you? Don’t you think you should’ve told me that so I would be aware?”
Cassidy shrugged and sat further back on her bed, crossing her legs beneath her. “Honestly I’m pretty scared. I saw how Tyler was, and you’re his best friend so I thought you’d be like that.” She paused and watched Jamie as he put another spoonful of ice cream into his mouth. “If you haven’t noticed, I tend to run when things get rough; it’s easier.”
“It’s also pretty lonely,” Jamie placed the ice cream carton lid back on and reached over to put it and the spoon on the nightstand beside Cassidy’s bed.
He held his hand out, and Cassidy looked down at it, slowly placing her hand in his, crawling in as he urged her towards him. She sat beside him, curling into his side as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.
Sometime later as the night wore on, Tyler came into the room, asking if Jamie was ready to go. With a momentary pause, Jamie replied that he’d find his own way back to his house. And after Tyler left the room, Cassidy opened up her laptop and slipped a movie into the disc drive. As the menu sequence appeared, Jamie groaned at the sight of The Notebook.
Cassidy giggled and lay down on her side, facing the computer, leaving room for Jamie behind her. He too lay down on his side, draping one arm over Cassidy’s hip as his body traced the outline of hers as they spooned.
“You make a good big spoon,” Cassidy murmured as the movie began. She snuck a quick glance back at Jamie.
He smiled and tightened his arm around her hip, “I think that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”
She giggled quietly and turned to lie on her back, keeping her head facing the computer screen. Now as Jamie’s hand rest over her toned stomach, she grinned at the feeling of his thumb moving over the fabric of her thin tank top. She could feel his eyes on her rather than on the movie, and she turned to look up at him, her eyes wide as his body lay partially on hers.
Jamie licked his lower lip quickly. His eyes flicked down to her lips and then back to meet hers all in an instant. Cassidy bit her lower lip and lifted her hips off of the bed, readjusting herself along it, while knowing that her waist rolled against Jamie’s as he leaned into her.
When their lips met, Cassidy became coy, setting her hand against his shoulder while only offering quick pecks. Jamie placed his hand on the side of her neck, pressing his fingertips gently into the back of it. He dragged his tongue across her lips, softly biting onto her lower one, while his free hand drifted down her body, stopping at her hip to hold her tightly.
Slowly, his lips moved down to her neck, sucking on her soft skin, and Cassidy brought her hand to the back of his neck, tugging at the ends of his hair. “Jamie,”
“Why does she want to be a bird? And why the hell does he want to be one too?” Jamie groaned clearly annoyed with the fact that he was being forced to watch the movie.
Cassidy grinned and looked down at him. After their quick make out session had ended with Cassidy being awkward as usual, she sat with her back against her bedroom wall. As she was intent on watching the movie, Jamie moved and laid his head down in her lap. Cassidy smiled and softly ran her fingers through his hair.
Now as he asked his frustrated question, Cassidy moved her hand away from his hair as he turned onto his back, his head still in her lap. She set her hand down on his chest and spoke quietly, “she wants to be a bird because they’re free, and that’s all she really wants. And he wants to be a bird because he wants to be with her. It’s romantic,” she brushed Jamie’s hair away from his eyes and blushed as his eyes seemed to pierce into hers.
“Zebras are free, tigers are free… she could’ve picked something more badass.”
Cassidy shook her head, “Birds aren’t bound by fences. They don’t know the confinement of state lines or country borders.” She paused and bit her lip, “they’re just free.”
Jamie placed his hand on top of hers, “do you sometimes wish you were a bird?”
She nodded and set her head back against the wall, “the thought’s crossed my mind once or twice. Be able to fly out of here and make something of this life I’ve been given.” Again, her charming southern accent began to become more prevalent.
He smiled and turned his head to look back at the computer screen, “as long as you didn’t choose a shitty bird, I’d be a bird with you.”
Notes
This chapter is titled after "If You Ever Get Lonely" by Love and Theft.
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5/2/16