"...all I can say about all the things he did for me, is I hope I'm at least half the dad that he didn't have to be..."


With Jamie by her side, the lawyer didn’t seem as threatening as he did before. Cassidy didn’t feel like she was being screwed over or taken advantage of. And after leaving the office, she was satisfied with the way things had played out. Jamie was going out of his way to ensure that should their relationship fall apart, Cassidy wouldn’t be destitute. It also drove home the fact that Jamie obviously didn’t have any plans of getting divorced.

After the short Christmas break, Jamie went back to being a professional athlete, and Cassidy went back to Nashville to fix up the house in a way her father was never able to. Thinking that the house was going to be on the market for someone else to buy, much of the extraneous furniture had been sold or given away. With so much empty space in the house, Cassidy took it upon herself to get things done; at least it’d be cheaper that way.

The man at the hardware store down the street had been a long time friend of Lee’s, and upon seeing Cassidy stride into his shop, he told her he wanted to give her a discount; a way of paying back for the extraordinary man her father was. So, three gallons of paint and paintbrushes later, Cassidy was back home spreading an old sheet across her childhood bedroom floor.

The room was now devoid of all furniture; bed, dresser, mirror; it was all sold to families with children. She popped open the lid, poured some paint into a tray, and began painting over her lavender walls with a pastel green. If anything, painting and listening to Brad Paisley sing about ticks and moonshine, was enough to keep her mind off of everything that seemed to envelop her real life.

When the first coat was applied to the walls of her childhood bedroom, Cassidy pushed open the windows to allow the cool Nashville breeze to dry the walls. And while that set, she moved onto her father’s bedroom. The walls were a plain white; the same color as she’d seen growing up, and with a new can of paint, she began painting the walls a cashmere color. She wasn’t trying to erase her father’s memory; God knows she’d never be able to do that. But painting over the scuffed white walls was cathartic, like somehow doing that would heal her soul in ways she couldn’t even begin to imagine.

At no point did she feel regret or remorse for what she was doing. Her father would want her to continue living her life. After all, he had been the one to say that he didn’t want his death to be a burden to her. With the help of Jamie and the paint, it wasn’t. She wasn’t ridding herself of the time she had spent in the house, but was rather making those times happy again. Changing the memories of seeing her father bed-ridden, back into memories of having her chase him around the house, pretending to be an outlaw bandit while she was the cowboy that was going to save the town.

When rooms were painted, cleaned from top to bottom, and all that was left was to refurnish the place, Cassidy flew back to Dallas in time for New Years. Of course Jamie would have a game on New Years’ Eve, but the team was excited to party afterwards, ushering in 2015 with a bang.

But in the air, ten thousand feet up, Cassidy squeezed at her stomach in pain. She had never been one to get sick through travel, and so she chalked it up to something she had eaten. Even then, this hadn’t been the first time she’d felt this pain in the last week. After finishing up the second coats of paint in both bedrooms, she had felt dizzy and light-headed. Again, she assumed nothing else than the paint fumes were getting to her head. And she took a break and rehydrated herself.

By the time she landed in Dallas and got back to Jamie’s house, he and Jordie were already at the rink, preparing themselves for the game against the Coyotes. Not wanting to be alone, Cassidy called Kennedy, but even she hadn’t picked up her phone, and with the discomfort in her stomach, Cassidy began to fear the worst.

Oh God. You have cancer. You’re about to have the best year of your life and you have cancer. Stomach cancer. And that’s so close to your other organs. It’s like an international airport, waiting to send airplanes of cancerous tumors around your body.

Yes, it had been the first time in a while that she had an internal battle with herself. As her and Jamie’s relationship grew, it seemed the battles were getting less and less frequent. But this seemed too true; like yeah, it could be cancer, who knew? It’s not like she had ever had cancer before, and the two people in her life that had it, were gone now. And she was alone, and she might be gone too by the time Jamie got home.

“Cassidy, you don’t have cancer. You’re healthy. It’s just the paint fumes and the travel; you’re fine.” She tried to reassure herself.

As fate would have it, the pain subsided just before Jamie arrived back home. Despite the relief, Cassidy was curled on the couch, watching post-game analysis as Jamie walked through the door, bent beside her, and kissed her head.

“You’re not coming to the party tonight?” Jamie looked at his watch, noticing there was only a couple of hours left of 2014.

“I haven’t felt too well… I’m just gonna stay in,”

He frowned and brushed her hair away from her face, “do you want me to stay with you?”

Cassidy shook her head and reached for his hand, holding it gently in hers, “no, go on and have a good time. I don’t want you to miss out because of me.” He searched her eyes for reassurance and she kissed his hand softly, “go, I’ll be fine.”

“I’m only a phone call away if you need me. I’ll be home in a few hours,” Jamie bent down and kissed her forehead again quickly before he was back out the door.

---

She had spent the rest of that night watching Pretty Woman, trying to figure out why Richard Gere went gray so prematurely. And by the time Jamie got in, Cassidy had already moved up to the bedroom, watching the end credits of the movie. He gave her a New Years kiss, and then went into the bathroom to shower up. Now, there wasn’t too much pain, at least nothing that wasn’t tolerable, but she could definitely tell something was off.

It wasn’t that Cassidy was afraid. She didn’t actually believe it was cancer or anything to that drastic extent, but on the second day of the New Year, with Jamie at practice, she decided to go ahead and buy his second Christmas present. It wasn’t the same one she had originally planned on getting him, but with the feeling inside her, that things were changing, she thought this gift was more suitable.

From there, the days started blending together. One day turned into the next like a never-ending stream of consciousness. Just a day after the seven to one crushing against the Wild, she was in Chicago for the night, rooting on the team from the family suite. Surrounded by the excitement and all the women, it was almost easy to forget that she hadn’t eaten in two days. Her stomach wouldn’t allow her to. Every bit of food that went down, ended up feeling like it was going to come back up, even though it never did.

After that one game road trip, they were back in Dallas for one game. Cassidy was open with Jamie about the way she was feeling, and he wasn’t taking any of it lightly. He was worried by the fact that she wasn’t eating, and disconcerted by the fact that she always seemed to be in a certain state of discomfort.

Unfortunately, the Stars lost to Columbus the next night, and were being escorted back to Nashville for a two game road trip. But instead of traveling with the team that night, Jamie stayed behind in Dallas. He was fine, and the only reason he stayed back was because he was insistent on not missing Cassidy’s graduation. The ceremony was for the afternoon of the seventh, and with Jamie having a game the eighth, the afternoon event would leave him enough time to get to Nashville by nightfall.

She had never felt as accomplished as she did that day. Somehow the little piece of paper that was nicely fit into a leather holder meant that she had made it. Like the jersey that signified Jamie had reached one goal, that flimsy piece of paper meant Cassidy had reached hers. When her name was called, she walked across the stage, her dark green robe and hat covered most of her. But when she looked out at the mass of people, lining bleachers that had been put up for the occasion, it was like her eyes instinctively knew where to go. Jamie sat halfway up and stuck out like a sore thumb with his Seattle Seahawks baseball cap that has streaks of neon green running through it.

Back in her seat, she looked down at her diploma again, wishing her dad could have been here to see this. He would’ve loved to see his only daughter graduate from college. But this was just one of the many life altering events he would miss in her lifetime.

After the ceremony, Cassidy searched along the courtyard to find Jamie. It wasn’t hard to pick him out of the crowd as people had approached him, not failing to identify their beloved hockey captain. Standing back, Cassidy noticed how he signed autographs and took pictures graciously. But his smile in the pictures wasn’t nearly as wide as the one he got when he spotted Cassidy standing back, swaying side to side as she waited for him.

Jamie excused himself quietly and meandered through the crowd, wasting no time in wrapping his arms around Cassidy’s waist, spinning her around as he murmured congratulations in her ear.

“I couldn’t have done it with you, Jamie. Seriously this year has been crazy, and you’ve my rock through it all,” her eyes gleamed as she peered up at him.

His cheeks turned a light shade of red and he leaned down to kiss her lips slowly. Their hands tangled together and when Cassidy forced herself to pull away, she set her head down on his chest. He was wearing the cologne she loved so much, and she buried her face into the center of his sternum, wincing away a twinge of pain.

But back in the car, it was a little harder for her to hide her discomfort, and Jamie picked up on it pretty quickly. He reached across the center console and held her hand as she was pressing against her stomach.

“It’s just cramps,” she looked over at him, hoping to ease his concern. But by the look on his face, he wasn’t buying it. He had grown up with a sister and knew well enough that cramps usually didn’t last two or three weeks. “Really, I’m okay. It comes and it goes.”

“I just don’t want to leave you alone. If something happens…”

“I have Kennedy. Jame, I’m okay. Go on your road trip and by the time you get back, everything will probably be better. Plus your second Christmas present should arrive by then,”

Jamie shook his head as he pulled into the driveway, “that doesn’t sound too convincing.” As Cassidy slid out of the passenger seat and pulled out the house key Jamie had given to her, he smiled, “I’ll call when I get to Nashville, and I’ll swing by the house to see the number you did on it.”

“I did a damn good job,” she beamed.

“I’m sure… I love you, Cassidy.”

She nodded, “I love you too.” She shut the car door and backed up just enough for Jamie to swing out of the driveway, disappearing down the road until his car was fully out of sight.

Kennedy swung by that night to check in on Cassidy. Upon hearing she hadn’t been feeling well, her first instinct was to ask if she was getting nervous about the wedding. And that got Cassidy thinking. Maybe that was why she hadn’t been feeling well. Around the time all this had started, she and Jamie had agreed on a venue for the ceremony and reception. Both of which would be held in Dallas as the only people on Cassidy’s side who were being invited, were close friends.

The wedding would be held in a rustic barn, now specifically designed for weddings, where it would be decorate first for the ceremony, and then switched over for the reception. So maybe that was what had Cassidy feeling so discomforted; the fact that the wedding was real now. With the venue nailed down, the idea of getting married got that much more real.

---

Cassidy knew she’d never forget that day, if only because it was a month before her twenty-second birthday. January 12th. Jamie started the morning with a practice as he usually did. When he had gotten home the day before, he begged to get his second Christmas present, but Cassidy had refused to give it to him, asking him to be patient so she could make sure everything was right. And after he snooped around for a few hours, he succumbed to patience.

Now she was sure everything was in order. The present was wrapped in festive red and green paper, ready to be torn apart and discovered. All she had to do now was wait for him to get back home. Cassidy had already told Kennedy what the present was, knowing fully well that she wouldn’t be able to keep any secret this big hidden from her for very long. So before Kennedy went snooping too, Cassidy let her in on the secret, to which Kennedy responded with high-pitched giggles.

Cassidy had just taken a seat on the couch when Jamie came through the front door, humming to himself quietly. She giggled at the realization that her husband-to-be liked the sound of his own voice. And when Jamie walked into the living room and saw her sitting there, with the gift resting on the coffee table in front of her, he grinned like a five year old.

“Now, there’s some rules about this gift…” she started. “Where’s Jordie?”

“Is this lingerie I’m gonna want to get you in,” he smirked, picking the box up off the table and shaking it, failing to hear any sort of noise.

Cassidy shut her eyes, trying to keep herself composed, “where’s Jordie, honey?”

“With his girl… what’s going on?” he smiled again, flicking his eyes to Cassidy, trying to figure out what she was planning.

“Nothing,” she smiled, “oh before you open it! The gift is different from what I was originally planning, so there’s that… Alright, proceed.”

Jamie smiled and sat down on the couch beside Cassidy. He curled his fingers in the seam of the paper, slipping his fingertips beneath the tape to expose the box. Although he was visibly giddy, he restrained from tearing the paper into tiny pieces like a child. And when the paper was gone, he looked down at the Macy’s box, confused with what she could’ve gotten him.

He pulled off the cardboard lid and giggled, “Cass, I think you miscalculated my size.”

“Yeah because I totally forgot you was a muscular, twenty-five year old jock. Take it out, you nerd,” she grinned and leaned back against the couch.

Jamie laughed with her and reached into the box, lifting up the tiny Dallas Stars jersey. He shot Cassidy a quick glance and chuckled before he looked back at the jersey and turned it around. Cassidy stared at his expression as he looked at the tiny jersey with his number on the back, and then she felt her cheeks become hot when she knew he noticed “DADDY” written across the shoulders above the number.

It took him a moment, but he licked his lips and shot his eyes to hers. “Really,” his smile stretched from ear to ear as he looked back at the tiny jersey.

Cassidy nodded and ran the back of her hand beneath her eye, wiping away tears of joy as he stared at her expectantly. “Three weeks or so,”

He dropped the jersey back into the box and leaned over, cupping Cassidy’s face in his hands and kissed her lips hurriedly, “if that wasn’t the original gift, what was?”

She smiled against his lips and pulled away, bringing her hands to his shoulders and giving them a tight squeeze, “a Shea Weber jersey.”

Jamie burst out in a guttural laugh, and he tilted his head to the side, sliding his fingers over the letters on the upper part of the jersey. “I can’t believe it. I’m gonna be a daddy… I’m gonna be a husband and a daddy all in one year,”

Cassidy reached up and pushed her fingers through his short hair, scratching at his head soothingly. “You’re going to make such a good daddy. This little Benn is so lucky,”

He coaxed Cassidy back against the couch, bending over to push up her shirt, and he pressed his lips to her stomach, lingering there as he let the news sink in. “Three weeks? Must’ve been Christmas then.”

“It’s a Christmas miracle,” as much as her cheeks began to hurt she didn’t even mind it. She could’ve kept smiling forever. “Babe, I think we should wait to tell everyone. I mean I told Kennedy… but because of the way… with the surgery… if I lose this kid, I don’t want to have to tell everyone that too.”

Jamie nodded, understanding her concerns, and sat up straight. He set the tiny jersey on her stomach and then reached for her hand, “we’re not losing this kid. I’m not gonna let that happen… you’re on lockdown for the next eight months.”

Cassidy smiled and sat up, moving to curl into Jamie’s side, with her head pressed against his chest. “And you’ll go to the doctor appointments with me? The first one’s not for a week or so unless I start feeling a lot of pain. But I’d prefer not to go alone,”

“If I’m in town, I’ll be there. It’s gonna be hard for awhile though. The team doesn’t really have a long home stand for the rest of the season. We’re on the road a lot,”

She flicked her eyes up to his and nodded slightly, biting her lower lip softly. Of course she knew that’d be the case. And with the baby due sometime in late summer, September-ish, Jamie would be able to be there for the birth more so than if the baby was due during the season. After all, Cassidy would rather go through the pregnancy mostly alone, rather than the birth.

Notes

This chapter is titled after "He Didn't Have To Be" by Brad Paisley.

Hope y'all are still enjoying this story as it winds down <3

Also expect another chapter within the next few days!