{A Couple Days Later}

It was the day of the first pre-season game. Ava and I had gone back to mine and Ryan's house. Ryan at first had tried talking to me and begging for my forgiveness. But I wasn't having it and I knew I needed to finally make a decision on Ryan. I mean if I honestly thought about it I don't think I had been in love with Ryan for a long time. And seeing Zach again makes me wonder if I'd ever been in love with him. I think I was finally figuring out that Ryan may have just been a comfort thing for me, like a security blanket of types. I realized that him being there for me after the wreck and when everyone gave up on me, that he was the only one there for me besides Ally and Travis. So he had brang me a since of comfort. Also he been there for so many years for Avalon. But was it love I had for Ryan? I wasn't so sure anymore. And I couldn't marry someone I wasn't in love with.

But I knew it wasn't fair to lead him on anymore or let him think we were still in a relationship. It wasn't fair to him and it wasn't fair to me. I was still feeling guilty about the kiss with Zach. I hadn't mentioned the kiss to Ryan and from what I could tell Zach hadn't said anything either. I mean Ryan hadn't come home overly upset or looking like he had hit someone. Though I will say this I had once again been avoiding him and Zach. I think Ryan knew he was in the dog house for what he had said to me, so he had made himself comfy on the couch. But my avoidance issues with both of them needed to stop. I knew I couldn't keep walking around like nothing had happened or things hadn't changed. But I knew Zach had been avoiding me also, which kinda stung a little bit.

Than there was Avalon, luckily she hadn't mentioned anything about the kiss she witnessed between Zach and I to Ryan. But I could see the conflicting emotions going through her eyes, in one way she felt loyal to Ryan because he's all she's known. But on the other hand ever since he got up here to New Jersey she hasn't been as close to him. I could also tell she was starting to form a bond with Zach, and she didn't even realize that he was her father. I really really really needed to speak to her about that.

Than there was also his children with Alisha, how would they take the whole Ava was their half-sister. I knew that Mari was Ava's best friend right now, but how would it be after Mari found out. Also Zach had looked so heartbroken when he had said Alisha didn't care about those kids. That had made my blood boil. I didn't understand how someone couldn't care about their child, let alone both of them. I had heard sometimes when people have twins sometimes one parent seems to favor one of the twins, but Alisha just didn't seem to care about either from what Zach had said.

"Hey your still coming to the game tonight, right?" Ryan asked me, breaking into my thoughts.

"Of course. Why wouldn't I?" I asked, looking up from the cup I had been staring into.

"I don't know. Why don't you tell me," he said, twirling his keys around his finger.

I glanced over at the clock and realized it was almost nap time for him. It looked like he was getting ready to go somewhere though.

"Your leaving?" I asked curiously, raising an eyebrow.

"Don't act like it matters to you," he snapped lightly.

"Ryan we need to talk," I sighed.

"Oh now you want to talk?" he asked sarcastically, than held up in his hands in surrender and sighed. "Look not right now. I can't do this right now. Look I'll be back in a little bit."

I caught the look of sadness on his face as he shook his head again and turned and walked out of the kitchen, not even acknowledging Ava as he passed her. I plastered a fake smile on my face as Ava came up to me rubbing her eyes. She climbed up into my lap and buried her face into my neck. I rubbed a hand up and down her back.

"Momma I'm hungry," she mumbled into my neck.

"Ok baby girl. I'll get you something to eat," I said quietly, still rubbing her back and having everything still running through my head.

I stood up with her in my arms and than set her back in the chair I had been in. I walked over to the fridge and started pulling out the stuff to make her something to eat. I could feel her little eyes following me around the kitchen.

"Momma do you like Mr. Zach?" she asked quietly.

I froze in the middle of opening the mayonnaise jar and set it down. I turned slowly and looked at her. She looked at me expectantly, looking much older than the almost six years that she was about to be.

"Ava we need to talk about Zach," I replied, with a sigh.

"Ok momma," she replied.

I set the mayonnaise jar down and turned towards her. Knowing I needed to give her my all telling her this. I wasn't sure how she would react to the news I was about to tell her. I could only hope she wouldn't hate me or be made at me for very long.