“Hey Marshall! What are you doing up buddy?” Tyler whispered as Marshall ran into the foyer to greet him. It was three in the morning, and he didn’t want to be too loud on the off chance that Nicki might actually be getting a good night’s rest.

She told him that Marshall had been sleeping in their bed with her, and wondered what he was doing awake and downstairs.

“Do you need to go out?”

A soft bark came from him, and Tyler could see his tail wagging through the dark. He guessed that Nicki hadn’t walked him, at least he hoped that Nicki hadn’t walked him. He left his bag on the floor and went straight to the kitchen, opening the sliding glass door to let Marshall into the yard. He bolted past him and went straight to the back corner, where they trained him to take care of his business.

Tyler noticed that the kitchen wasn’t nearly as pristine as it normally was and decided to clean a bit while he waited for Marshall. A little mess here and there had never bothered him, but Nicki couldn’t live unless everything was spotless. It worried him that she either didn’t care, or didn’t have the energy to keep up with the house, and made him feel even guiltier for leaving her.

When he rounded the island to wipe it down, he noticed a soft glow coming from the living room. He figured Nicki had left the TV on and went in to turn it off. Tyler melted as he walked through the doorway and saw her passed out on the couch in his sweatshirt. She looked adorably small and innocent, curled up all alone in their spot. He never noticed how empty it seemed when only one of them sat there, without the other. It just didn’t seem right.

He picked up the remote from the table next to her and was about to shut off the TV when he realized what was on it. She’d paused it during one of his interviews, and his beat red face was frozen on the screen. Tyler thought that he couldn’t possibly have felt worse about being gone so long, but found that he was horribly mistaken.

Scratching at the door broke his attention away from Nicki, and he powered off the television before jogging quietly into the kitchen to let in Marshall. Tyler gave him a pat and a kiss on the head and led him back into the living room, ordering him onto his bed. As he got older, Marshall became more obedient, but never really outgrew his puppy phase. He still loved to play, and he guessed that he probably wore Nicki out while he was gone.

Tyler carefully slipped his arms underneath her back and lifted her slowly, simultaneously attempting to not wake her up and not hurt the baby. It was a bit of an ordeal, but eventually he got her upstairs and into bed. He prayed that she wouldn’t have a nightmare, and would sleep through the entire night. She needed it, and knew that it was just as important for their son. It killed him to see the emotional and physical hardships she was enduring, and wished more than anything that he could take some of the weight off of her shoulders.

He stripped out of his suit, letting it fall carelessly to the floor. Wrinkled clothing was currently the last thing on his mind. Tyler slipped into bed, relieved to finally be home. In eight days, he would be leaving again. But he chose to ignore that for now, and enjoy the time he had while he could.

After rolling onto his side, Tyler gave Nicki a small push, trying to get her unconscious body to cooperate. It took a couple of tries, but he managed to get her on her side as well, and made quick work of pressing himself against her, covering her limbs with his own. She fit perfectly in his arms, no matter which position she was in. It was things like that which made Tyler wonder if there was more order to the universe than he previously thought. He constantly wondered how one person could be so undeniably perfect for another. Did everyone eventually find that? Or had they just gotten lucky?

As he rolled over the questions in his head, he took a moment to say hello to his son. Tyler hadn’t even met him yet, and already loved him more than anything. It was a different kind of love than the one he and Nicki shared, and was indescribable. He was the product of pure adoration, something so beautiful and wholesome that it tied knots in his stomach just thinking about it.

Tyler slid down and rested his head on the side of her stomach, creating the perfect pillow. He hadn’t expected for it to be so comfortable, and decided he might stay like that for the night. His hand moved gently across her belly, which he would swear had gotten bigger since he’d last seen her. At first, he didn’t feel any movements against his hands, and experienced a brief moment of panic. Tyler had become accustomed to an instant response, and wasn’t exactly great at keeping calm when it came to his baby.

“You in there little guy?” he asked quietly, planting his hand in the center of her stomach.

Just as he said it, Tyler felt the tiniest kick in response to his question. He smiled as comfort flowed through him, exuberant to be back in contact with the thing he’d missed the most. Of course he had missed Nicki, but he could talk with her, he could hear her voice and see her face. The only interaction he had with his son was through touch, and he had longed for it since the moment he walked out of their front door.

“I hope you kept your mom company,” he whispered, tracing circles around her belly with his fingers. “When I’m gone, you’re all she’s got.”

He waited for the next sign of movement before he continued. “I missed you so much. Leaving you was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.”

Tyler didn’t know why he felt the need to spill out his deepest emotions to something that could neither understand nor answer him, but that didn’t stop him. Just knowing he could hear was enough. He left a string of kisses across Nicki’s stomach and curled his arm around it, allowing himself to fall asleep to the comfort of his son moving around against his skin.

** * * * *

Nicki was snapped out of a nightmare by an overpowering wave of nausea. She noticed that Tyler had brought her up to bed, and wanted nothing more than to appreciate the way he was wrapped around her, but the bathroom beckoned.

She dropped to her knees in front of the toilet just in time. It must have awoken Tyler, because he was by her side not a heartbeat later, holding back her hair and trying to soothe the trembles that shook her body. Once it was over, she stayed down, attempting to catch her breath. A small cup of mouthwash was offered in front of her face, and she took it as quickly as she could, hoping to get the taste out of her mouth before it made her sick again.

When she’d finally seemed to stabilize herself, Tyler grabbed her by the elbows and pulled her up, causing the room to spin violently around her. She stumbled backwards, but felt a reassuring pair of arms around her, holding her up.

“Are you okay?” he asked, leading her back to their bed.

It sounded like he was underwater when he spoke to her. Nicki tried to pop her ears, to clear whatever might have made them feel clogged. Nothing was helping, and she was feeling worse by the second.

“I don’t… I don’t feel so good,” she mumbled.

Tyler pressed the back of his hand to her forehead, followed by his lips.

“Babe, you’re burning up. Did you feel sick last night?”

She shook her head and sat on the edge of the bed, failing to gain her composure.

“I’m gonna call the doctor,” he said, running a hand through her hair. “Just stay in bed, alright?”

Nicki responded by lying back against the pillows. She closed her eyes, and was graced by another kiss on her forehead, one that told her that Tyler wouldn’t be leaving her side that day. She could hear him on the phone, but couldn’t make out the words he was saying. It almost sounded like a different language. What seemed like only moments later, there was a body pressed against her own, surrounding her with a comfort that nearly eased the throbbing in her head.

Tyler’s hand caressed her stomach, and his lips reached out to leave a peck on her cheek.

“He didn’t sound too worried. He said to take some Tylenol for the fever. Looks like you’re spending the day in bed.”

A groan slipped out of Nicki’s throat. The only thing she hated more than being bedridden was being sick, and now she was stuck with a ruthless combination of the two.

“Can I at least stay on the couch?” she asked, hoping he might feel bad and let her.

“I don’t see why not. Can you walk? It was tough getting you up here last night.”

She pushed herself up and swung her legs over the bed, but couldn’t seem to find the coordination to get her feet onto the ground. When she glanced up at Tyler for help, he looked devastated.

“What?”

“I just hate seeing you like this,” he said quietly as he helped her up. “You’ve been miserable for months.”

Nicki shrugged her shoulders, unable to form a worthy response. She was miserable. She didn’t even know that level of miserable existed. But she wouldn’t have traded it for anything, and knew that it would pay off in just a matter of time.

It was a struggle, but Tyler finally managed to get them both safely down the stairs and into the living room. Nicki curled up in their spot on the couch, waiting for him to join her. When he didn’t, she glanced around the room. She had no idea where he’d gone. Just as she was about to call his name, he rounded the corner with pillows and blankets in hand.

A small smile rested on her lips as he placed the pillows behind her back and draped a blanket over her body. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad thing to be sick for a day or two.

“I’m gonna get a fire going,” he said, turning his back to her as he prepare the fireplace.

Nicki watched admirably as he made quick work of the wood and flame. She knew that if they had switched positions, she would do all of this for him in a heartbeat. In fact she had, more than a few times. But it made her heart swell to know that he would do the same for her. Most of her life had been giving and giving, never receiving. Which was fine with her. It had taken her a long time to find out just how incredible it could be to let herself rely on someone, to let him take care of her every need. It had taken years, but Tyler had finally crumbled the last of her walls. He was the only person in the universe that she could trust herself with completely, and she knew he’d never give her reason not to.

The crackling and glow from the fire instantly made the room feel cozy and safe. They’d spent many nights in the same spot she was in now, wrapped around each other and enjoying the warmth of the hearth.

“Remember how scary this place felt the first night we were here?” she asked, half asleep already.

Tyler came back to her and sat by her side, running his long fingers down the length of her face. Even the heat from the fireplace couldn’t keep her from getting chills at his touch.

“Yeah, but you were right that day. It’s the memories that make it feel like home. Like the time we were stuck inside all day because of the storm and we didn’t get off of the couch the entire time, even when Marshall knocked over the trash and started eating shit out of it. That was one of my favorite days.”

Nicki giggled softly at the memory. They’d made the best of a bad situation, and she found herself very fond of the idea of being stuck anywhere with Tyler.

“You left out my favorite part,” she pointed out, grinning now.

Tyler’s laugh rang through her ears, and the fingers that had been caressing her face entwined into her hair. He’d left out the fact that they’d set a new record. She doubted they would ever surpass having sex seven times in a single day, and was almost positive that Tyler physically wouldn’t be able to do it. But it didn’t mean she wouldn’t try.

“I don’t know if we should be proud or ashamed of that.”

She leaned into his hand, and he began to massage her pounding head. Her eyebrows furrowed as she remembered the pain she was in, and Tyler noticed right away.

“I’ll get the Tylenol,” he said, placing a kiss in the center of her forehead. “And you need to eat at some point.”

Another groan came from her, and his lips held their place on her face. Nicki hated showing when she was distressed, but acknowledged that he wouldn’t be able to help her if he didn’t know that she was uncomfortable.

“I’m so nauseous Ty. I don’t think I can eat.”

“I know,” he whispered, comforting her with a few more gentle kisses. “But he needs you to.”

His hand laid flat in the center of her stomach. He was right. She would have to find a way to get something down, and keep it down. Starving herself was one thing, starving her baby was simply unacceptable.

“Well, if I have to, I’m kind of craving waffles. We have that waffle maker your mom gave us for Christmas, right?”

“Somewhere. I have no idea how to use it,” he admitted, looking her straight in the eyes.

“It came with directions.”

“Oh. Then I guess I’ll go figure that out.”

“I have faith in you, love,” Nicki teased, lifting her hand to touch the rough hair on his face.

Tyler responded with a kiss that left her reeling. It wasn’t like he had to do much to get her to that point, but he knew exactly how to do it. She moaned into his mouth and felt him smile, making her smile.

“I hope you never stop doing that,” she murmured as he pulled his lips away from hers.

“I won’t. I hope you never stop wanting me to do that,” he said, allowing her one last peck before he got up.

“I won’t.”

** * * * *

Tyler rummaged through the cabinets, high and low, in pursuit of the illusive waffle maker his mother had gifted for them. Every Christmas, she booked a day for her and Nicki at a spa, and got Tyler some domestic bullshit like pots and pans. It had started as a joke, much like Freddy’s birthday presents to Nicki, but eventually transformed into a tradition. He had to admit, some of the stuff she got was useful, and all of it was pricey.

He finally found it underneath the island, hiding behind the food processor that never saw the light of day. Once he turned it on to heat up, he poured a glass of water and shook two Tylenols out of the bottle for Nicki, along with the prenatal vitamins Dr. Reed had instructed her to take.

When he walked into the living room, he wasn’t surprised to find her already passed out with Marshall at her feet. The two of them could sleep for days. Something about seeing them asleep and comfy together made him smile. Piece by piece, they’d assembled their small family. And now that it was growing, he couldn’t help but be thrilled.

He lightly shook her shoulder until she woke up and sat down next to her again. Tyler felt the momentary urge to pull her to him, to wrap his body around hers and never let her go. Unfortunately, she needed someone to take care of her, and Marshall didn’t exactly have the best bedside manner.

“Take them one at a time, okay? I don’t need you choking,” he said, rubbing her back as she swallowed each of the pills. She had a habit of taking four or five at a time, and it always scared the living piss out of him. Someday, one was going to get lodged in her throat, and he would have to remember the Heimlich maneuver from health class in the eighth grade.

Nicki handed the empty glass back to him and her head lolled against the pillow, her eyes shutting the moment it did. She could be pretty good at hiding the way she was feeling, but sometimes it was so bad that Tyler could see through her resolve. He knew the pregnancy was tearing her apart, and felt utterly helpless. There was nothing he could do to make it any easier on her, and that was the worst part.

Tyler held her head gently in his hands and left another kiss on her forehead, checking her temperature and trying to soothe her at the same time. She still felt too hot, and he tried to remember if they’d ever invested in a thermometer.

“Sleep for now,” he whispered. “I’ll wake you up when it’s time to eat.”

She gave him the slightest nod so that he’d know she heard. It didn’t matter if he felt like a sap, there was absolutely no denying how precious she was when she got comfortable and sleepy. Tyler loved watching her, to the point where it almost made him feel a little creepy.

He left her and Marshall to sleep and tried to figure out the directions that came with the waffle maker. It seemed simple enough, although he was sure Nicki would do it ten times better, and with ten times more ease. As good as he had become at cooking, she was a natural. She could throw anything together, cook it a little, and make it delicious.

Making the batter ended up being the most difficult part of the whole process, and after spilling half of it all over the counter, he managed to produce a few good sized waffles. He tossed on some strawberries and blueberries and called it a day. The mess could wait; he was eager for Nicki to eat so he could curl up with her and do nothing for the rest of the day.

Tyler set the plate on the coffee table and stood over Nicki, who was snoring quietly. He debated over whether or not he should just let her sleep, but decided if he didn’t make her eat now, it would just be harder later.

“Babe,” he said quietly, this time choosing to wake her up in a more soothing way. “Nicki.”

He stroked her face with the back of his hand, and heard a moan before he saw her open her eyes. He loved knowing that he could comfort her, that he could make her feel good, with just a touch. Tyler knew the sensation well, and had a difficult time believing that his rough hands and clumsy fingers could reciprocate the way she made him feel.

“Hi,” she murmured, smiling sleepily at him.

She made his heart skip a beat; he found her unbearably cute. Tyler planted a loving kiss on her lips, which seemed a little more chapped than they had been before. It was only the second time since he’d known her that her lips weren’t the softest thing he’d ever felt, and attributed it to her fever.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, brushing back her messy hair.

“Um, the same I guess.”

“Nicki…”

She sighed. “Okay. I feel a little worse.”

An ear splitting cough wracked her body, and Tyler could do nothing but pull her into a hug, hoping he might be able to calm her down.

“That doesn’t sound right,” he said, his concern intensifying by the second.

He was answered with another cough of the same magnitude. Suddenly, all he could think of was what that kind of strain could do to the baby. Tyler wanted to whisk her off to the hospital and demand that they run every test possible to make sure everything was okay, but he knew that wasn’t how the world worked.

“Can you at least try to eat?” he asked, placing the dish containing the cooling waffles on her lap.

She smiled down at them and coughed again before picking up the fork and knife.

“I can try. Thanks, sweetheart.”

Tyler squeezed himself between her and the couch so that she was between his legs, and rubbed her shoulders while she tried to eat. If there wasn’t anything he could do to help her with the baby, then he was going to do anything he could to make her happy. Maybe it would make things easier on her, especially after having left her for almost a week when she needed him the most.

“Is it any good?”

“Ty, it’s delicious. You always surprise me,” she said, giggling as she cut the waffles into little pieces.

“Why do you do that?” he asked, eyeing the knife that moved back and forth across her plate.

“Do what?”

“That,” he said, pointing to the miniscule pieces of waffle. “I remember that first time I took you out to breakfast, you spent the whole time cutting your pancakes. You maybe took three bites.”

Nicki looked down at her meal and laughed. “I dunno, I never noticed that. You were watching me eat?”

He felt his cheeks burning. He’d never quite realized exactly how much he liked her then. All it took was that smile, the one she gave him when they first met, and he was hooked. It was too bad he hadn’t known it then. He thought he had her in the palm of his hand. How wrong he’d been.

“I guess so.”

“What a creeper,” she scoffed, leaning back against him.

“If I was a creep, would you be carrying my child right now?”

She went silent in front of him, and slowly put down the utensils that were in her hands.

“What is it?”

Tyler heard a sniffle and moved his body so that he could see her face.

“Why are you crying?” he asked gently, afraid he’d said something to upset her.

“Hearing you say that just made me really happy,” she sobbed, her shoulders shaking.

Not a moment later, she was hacking up a lung again.

“Babe, calm down,” Tyler begged. “You have to relax.”

He could tell that she was trying, but it was failing miserably. The more she coughed, the more she cried. The more she cried, the more she coughed. She was stuck in a vicious cycle.

“Hey, breathe. Breathe with me, okay?”

Tyler took a deep breath in, waiting for her to copy his example. She did, but the breath got caught between sobs. He tried again, and this time she was more successful. He kept his hands on her stomach, trying to remind her that getting too worked up could put their son in danger. He tried to imagine how hard it might be, having to take care of yourself, as well as the most important thing in your life growing inside of you. It had to put a lot of pressure on her, and she didn’t always handle pressure well.

“That’s it,” he cooed, placing small kisses along her shoulder and neck.

He felt her muscles relax and she slumped back, letting all of her weight rest on him.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me.”

The shame and the guilt of not being able to repress her emotions were plain when she spoke. It made Tyler feel even worse than he already did. She was already going through hell, there was no reason she had to be doubting herself, too.

“You don’t have to apologize,” he said, removing the dish of barely eaten waffles from her lap and placing it further down on the couch. “Now come on, try to go back to sleep.”

“But – “

“I don’t want to hear it. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

He’d managed to quiet her, and her head fell against his shoulder. Her breath on his neck gave him chills, and he pulled the blanket higher, so that only her neck and head were exposed. Tyler slipped his hands underneath the blanket and her shirt, and let them rest on her belly while he traced over her skin with his fingers. Nicki had mentioned once that it felt nice, and that the baby seemed calmer when his hands were on her. Tyler had no idea how she’d know that, but he trusted her, as well as her instincts.

“I love you,” he whispered, placing his lips on the top of her head.

“Mmm, I love you too,” she mumbled, almost unintelligibly.

Tyler watched her as she drifted off to sleep, and sat for hours wondering what she was dreaming about. He wanted to go to sleep himself, but wouldn’t allow it. If she woke up and needed something, he wanted to be able to get it in a hurry.

Eventually he became bored and turned on the TV. Out of the four hundred HD channels they had, not a single one was playing anything watchable. Nicki had turned him on to the hundreds of law shows, but he grew tired of them quickly. He had no idea how she watched them all day; they were all exactly the same.

Entirely out of desperation, Tyler settled for ABC Family. They were having a Shrek marathon. He made it one of his goals in life to tease Nicki every time she watched it, and claimed to have no idea why she liked it. Or any little kid movie, for that matter. He told himself he put it on for her, so when she woke up she’d get all excited that it was on and that he was watching it. But in reality, it wasn’t that bad of a movie.

His hands moved across Nicki’s stomach, searching for any sign of life inside of her. He wished that he could press a fast forward button, that he could skip over the next three months of his life so he could finally meet his son. And he’d be sure not to make a fuss when he and Nicki wanted to watch Shrek. Maybe he would even enjoy it.

Notes

Hi everyone! If you didn't see the comments, I'm sorry for taking longer than normal to update! Working full time isn't horrible, but it's not giving me a lot of time to write. I promise I'll try to update as often as possible!!

Thanks so much for reading!! <3 :)