White Orchids

“Ugh, Ty that feels amazing.”

Nicki sank down further in the tub, trying to get her aching body into a comfortable position. She was getting larger by the week, and her drastic change in weight was sparking a return of the back problems she’d had as a child. She was having a hard time standing for more than twenty minutes at a time, making showers a daunting task.

So, baths had become her only effective way to bathe. Tyler sat across from her and rubbed her feet as the water jets massaged her sore back. It wasn’t a bad deal at all, and she tried to the best of her ability to enjoy every second of it.

Tyler flashed her a smile, but that was the only response she got. He’d been quiet since dinner the previous night, and she was pretty sure she knew why.

“Are you nervous babe?” she asked, hoping that he would open up and tell her what was on his mind.

“Not nervous,” he replied. “Anxious.”

She nodded. “I am too. Either way, in a few hours we’re finally going to know.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” he said, placing a small kiss on each of her toes, sending her into a giggling fit. Her skin had become unbearably sensitive, and ridiculously ticklish. “Do you know what time it is?”

Nicki arched her neck and tried to catch a glimpse of the time on the control pad of the tub.

“Quarter past ten. We should probably start getting ready.”

Tyler got up carefully and grabbed her underneath her arms to pull her up. It took extra effort on both of their parts, partially because of her enlarged abdomen and partially because her balance was extremely off.

“Easy,” he said cautiously, warning her not to move too fast.

She loathed the fact that she could no longer effectively take care of herself. Before, she had just been letting him help her with things. Now, she physically could not do certain things without him. Which might have been fine if he hadn’t been on the road nearly every five days. Nicki had kept herself together so far, but was slowly coming undone at the seams, losing every bit of her composure piece by piece. Every time he went away, everything became progressively more difficult.

Tyler ran his hands across her stomach and bent at the waist to leave a kiss on the top of it. Nicki could no longer stare straight down her body. The bump that had risen was inches away from completely obstructing the view she had of her toes. She guessed that in a few weeks time, she would no longer be able to see those, either.

“Oh my God.”

“No fucking way.”

“Did you feel that?” Nicki asked, bewildered.

He stared up at her, eyes wide, and smile wider. “Yeah, I did.”

“It… it’s moving,” she whispered, placing her hands on her stomach next to Tyler’s.

Nicki stood in shock as she felt the tiny movements inside of her. Although it felt strange to her hands, it felt miraculous underneath her skin. Tyler pressed his cheek against her stomach, and she felt a small, harmless kick.

“Holy shit,” she murmured, stunned.

He looked up at her quickly before focusing his attention on her belly again.

“Hi baby,” he said, grinning from ear to ear.

There was another little kick, this time on the right side.

“Do it again,” Nicki coaxed, resting her hands atop her bloated midsection.

Tyler gave her an inquisitive stare, as if he wasn’t sure whether or not he should.

“I can’t wait to meet you.”

A tiny body part pressed against her, right above her belly button. Right where Tyler kept his hand. His mouth dropped open in awe.

“Do you think it can hear you?” she asked, in utter disbelief.

He shrugged, never peeling his eyes away from the spot where he’d shared his first touch with his child. Nicki recognized that it was a big deal to him. She was constantly close to it, feeling it growing inside of her. Tyler didn’t have that privilege, and Nicki honestly believed that if he could carry it, he would.

“I love you,” he said quietly, touching his lips to her skin.

This time, it felt like the baby was doing flips in her stomach. Tyler began to laugh, and she laughed with him. It seemed so impossible, but somewhere deep down, she knew it could hear him.

“I think it likes your voice,” she said, running a hand through his hair. “It must get that from me.”

He cupped her belly in his hands and leaned in again, ready to give it another go.

“It’s gonna be so great to stop calling you ‘it’.”

Nicki put her hands on top of his. She winced when it moved again, this time hitting what she thought might have been her bladder. Tyler’s head shot up, his face filled with concern.

“Did that hurt?” he asked gently, finally standing up in front of her.

She forced a smile and shook her head. “It’s fine.”

He locked eyes with her, not permitting her to break his gaze. His fingers brushed against her face before tucking the wet hair behind both of her ears.

“I’m so sorry you have to go through this,” he said, kissing her forehead. “I know it’s a lot harder on you than you’re telling me.”

So maybe it was. There was no reason she had to admit that to him. Like he didn’t feel bad enough already.

“Tyler, you don’t have to apologize. It is so worth it.” She glanced down and felt his eyes follow her. “Imagine how it’s gonna feel when we get to see its little face for the first time?”

“Believe me, that’s all I can think about lately.”

His finger inched underneath her chin and tilted her head up to meet his lips. Nicki let herself become completely absorbed in his kiss, relishing every tender moment. When she began to shiver he broke away from her and draped a towel across her shoulders, leaving a last peck on her lips.

They readied themselves in silence, both too awestruck to form any real conversation. Nicki opted for a comfortable tee shirt and sweater combination from the left half of their closet, which had been dedicated to her extensive collection of maternity clothing. Tyler made more than sure that she had everything she needed, and received plenty of help from his teammates’ wives, who were enthralled to have another addition to their growing Bruins family. They took her out at least once a week, to bond, ask questions, and shop. Nicki had grown to adore the time she spent with them, and looked forward to every meeting.

“You are the most adorable pregnant person ever,” Tyler said, looking at her from across the room.

She giggled and shook her head. “Not sure how that works, but thanks.”

He closed the space between them and pulled her into a warm hug. “You’re just so cute and round,” he teased, his laughter shaking her body.

“Aren’t you a charmer,” she said, pushing him back.

Tyler grabbed her hands so that she couldn’t walk away from him.

“I mean it. It makes you look so cuddly.”

Her eyebrow raised, and his raised in response, making her giggle again.

“Who are you, and what have you done with my husband? He does not use the word ‘cuddly’.”

“He’s in the trunk of your car,” he responded, throwing a thumb over his shoulder. “Wanna see?”

Another laugh came from her lips and she shook one of her hands out of his. “Nah, leave him there for all I care. You’re better looking, anyways.”

“I think so, too,” he said, winking at her. Every time he winked, she lost her mind just a little bit more. He thought of it as a joke, but it made her want nothing more than to toss him onto the bed and do horrible things to him. Nicki figured that was something best left unmentioned, as he would surely use it to his advantage if he knew.

“You ready to go?” she asked, all joking aside. She was starting to tremble from the anticipation.

“Absolutely. I’ve been waiting for this for the last four months.”

** * * * *

“So how have the past four weeks been?” Dr. Reed asked as he turned on the ultrasound machine.

“Not so bad. I’ve been a little fatigued, had some aches and pains. Everything else is fine,” Nicki replied.

Tyler elbowed her gently in the arm. She knew that if she didn’t bring it up, he would.

“Well, there is one more thing,” she added.

“Don’t be shy. Whatever it is, it might be important to your health.”

Nicki sighed. She hated to admit that there might be something wrong with her.

“It’s not physical,” she began, making sure to speak slowly. She hoped she didn’t sound crazy. “I’ve just had a hard time remembering things lately. It’s like I’m in a fog, like my brain isn’t working right. And I’ve been having night terrors.”

She watched the doctor’s expression change as he thought. “How often are the night terrors occurring?”

“Almost every night,” Tyler said, knowing she might downplay the severity.

“Can you lift your shirt?” Nicki rolled up her tee shirt so that her entire abdomen was exposed. Dr. Reed squirted a large glob of freezing cold blue gel on her bare skin, sending a shiver through her body. Tyler rubbed her arm in hopes that the friction might create some heat. It didn’t work so well, but the comfort of his touch soothed the intense chills.

“You shouldn’t worry just yet,” Dr. Reed said as he worked the gel around her stomach with the ultra sound wand. “Your hormones are out of control right now, and that kind of change affects every woman differently. If you have a history of any kind of mental disease or PTSD, it could cause it to act up again. There’s no telling what might happen. If they don’t get better by the third trimester, we may have to run an EEG.”

She nodded, even though he wasn’t paying any attention to it. His focus was directed towards the screen on the monitor, and Nicki turned her head to look at it. The black and white forms shifted and moved as Dr. Reed explored her stomach with the wand. The last time she’d seen it, things had been much different. Now, she could plainly see the form of a baby, curled up on its back. Tyler’s hand inched down her arm and held her hand. She gave it a light squeeze, since all of the things running through her head couldn’t be said just yet.

Nicki squinted her eyes, looking for any sign that would tell her the sex. Her heart began to race as she scanned the image over and over, desperate to finally find out. She felt Tyler’s palm begin to sweat, and was about to ask the doctor when he started speaking again. He raised his free hand and pointed to the screen.

“Do you see that, right there?”

Tyler leaned forward so that his head was next to hers. Nicki could hear his heavy, nervous breath in her ear as she continued to study her first clear view of their baby.

“Yeah, I think so,” Tyler muttered.

Nicki didn’t see it, but she didn’t bother saying so. Dr. Reed turned to them and smiled.

“By the looks of things, you’re going to have a beautiful, healthy baby boy. Congratulations.”

“A boy… it’s a boy?” she asked.

Dr. Reed nodded and began to wipe the goo off of her stomach. She realized that Tyler hadn’t moved, and turned her head, forcing her lips against his. She didn’t care if the doctor saw, she was sure he wouldn’t mind.

“Unless you have any questions, you’re all set for today. I’ll see you in one month.”

They bid the doctor farewell and thanked him. Nicki pulled Tyler back to her, not quite finished with him yet. He palmed her stomach in his hand, transferring a soothing heat to her skin. The baby must have liked it, because for the first time since they’d left the house, there were movements inside of her.

“I hope you aren’t disappointed,” Tyler said once they broke away from each other. “I know you wanted a girl.”

“Disappointed?! How could I be disappointed?! God Tyler, I am so excited.”

A grin spread wide across his face. “Me too.”

It felt as though a huge weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. Nicki could care less what gender it was, finally knowing was the greatest thing she’d ever felt. The bond she felt with the little thing had now become unbreakable. She already loved him unconditionally and irrevocably.

All she could think of was how badly she wanted Tyler to feel the same bond. She couldn’t wait until he was out in the world, so that he could hold him and teach him and love him the way he deserved. Nicki knew it might be hard sometimes, with Tyler being gone so often during the year. But she also knew that he would do everything in his power to make up for it. She pictured long days, playing in the sand at the beach or tossing a ball around in the backyard. She imagined him spending hour after hour at the rink, teaching him everything he knew about the things he did best.

** * * * *

Nicki found herself in a room that she didn’t recognize, surrounded by people she didn’t know. She looked around frantically for something familiar. As hard as she tried, she couldn’t remember what it was she was searching for. In the far corner of the room, Tyler stood with his back turned to her.

As she started running towards him, the crowd closed in on her. A sea of harsh looking people pushed and shoved and crushed her, forcing her off of her path. She broke through, and her surroundings changed. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the bright sunlight peeking through the thin canopy of leaves. A forest encircled her, full of tall trees and singing birds. Unlike the dreary room, it was serene and consoling. She was alone, but she didn’t feel lonely.

She sat on a horizontal tree trunk that rested against a large rock and took a deep breath of the damp, woodsy air. It was fresh and pure, free of the stench of the city that she was so accustomed to. There was a rustling in the bushes behind her, and she turned quickly to see who had invaded her private space.

A tiny deer, void of a mother, wandered out into the open, coming to a stop just feet in front of her. It was staring directly at her with bulging, innocent eyes. It looked frightened at first, but the presence of another living being seemed to soothe it. The poised muscles in its legs relaxed, and it inched towards her, sticking out its long neck as it approached.

Nicki tentatively held out her hand, unsure of what it was trying to do. Just as it was about to touch its nose to her hand, more rustling came from the brush. It sounded as though it was coming from every direction, and was as loud as a fire alarm. The deer became startled and bolted off, back into the protective cover of the forest.

Whatever it was, Nicki knew that it wasn’t natural, that it didn’t belong in her safe place. She cautiously got up from her perch and tiptoed towards the edge of the clearing. A twig snapped behind her, and she turned on a heel to face her company.

The woman from Dr. Reed’s office stood in front of her, a spitting image of her mother. Nicki attempted to scream, frightened by her frazzled appearance, but no noise came from her mouth. She tried again to no avail, and sprinted as fast as her legs would allow through the trees. A look behind her assured that she had lost the woman, and she slowed to a walk. In seconds, she was back in the same clearing, and the woman was standing directly in front of her.

“You don’t know the truth,” she said, her tone threatening. “You have to know the truth.”

“The truth about what?!” Nicki screamed, confused and intimidated. “What the fuck are you talking about?!”

“You need to know….”

She pushed the woman to the ground and ran past her, praying that the opposite direction might lead somewhere. Suddenly, she was back in the room she’d been in before. There was a dank smell in the air of mold and mildew, and the walls looked wet and dirty. The strangers that had once filled the room had vanished, and she found herself alone.

Except for the man in the corner.

It was where Tyler had been before, but she was too far away to distinguish his features. She tip toed towards him, taking care not to give away her position. His back was turned, and as she got closer, she began to recognize his features; the long skinny legs, the broad shoulders, and the thick hair that curled slightly when it hit his neck.

Nicki called his name and walked faster, relieved that she’d found him. As long as he was with her, that woman couldn’t do anything to hurt her. A knot formed in her gut when he didn’t respond to her call, and when she reached him she placed a hand on his shoulder to get his attention.

He turned slowly, and Nicki jumped back, letting out a gasp. There was no longer anything that resembled Tyler. She wasn’t faced with her husband. The man in front of her had the face of the stranger that had stabbed her, all those years ago. She tried to shout, but his strong hand covered her mouth and cut off her breathing. As hard as she tried, no air would enter her lungs. She started to choke, and felt her body fighting back instinctively, trying to save her life.

** * * * *

“Nicki! Jesus Nicki wake up!” Tyler shouted, shaking her as hard as he could without putting the baby in danger.

She continued to scream and cry, choking on her own breath. He’d been trying to wake her up for three minutes, and nothing he tried had worked. She was so far under, he wondered if there was anything he could do to snap her out of it. Just as he was about to run to the bathroom and fill a cup of water to splash on her, her eyes shot open.

Tyler wasted no time and wrapped himself around her, shushing and cooing and whispering that everything was okay. For the first time since she started having nightmares again, she instantly realized that she was at home in bed.

“Ty,” she whispered, burying her face in his chest. She started to wail, but at least it was better than the screaming.

“I’m here babe, you’re fine,” he said, stroking her hair.

“What’s wrong with me?” she cried as she trembled fiercely in his arms.

“Nothing is wrong with you. Do you want to talk about it?”

For a while, she kept on sobbing. Tyler never loosened his hold on her; he had gathered from experience that the closer he had her, the easier it was for her to settle down. Eventually the crying stopped, as did the shaking. He thought she had fallen back to sleep, and rolled onto his back, hoping he might be able to catch a few more hours. He desperately missed cuddling with her at night, but she was far enough into the pregnancy that she had to sleep on her back so she wouldn’t hurt the baby.

“It was the same one I’ve had all week,” her tired voice murmured.

Tyler got on his side again so that he could talk to her.

“With the woman?”

“Mhm.”

“I’m so sorry babe,” he said, leaving a loving kiss on her sweat covered forehead.

His hand habitually moved to her stomach, the same way it did every time they were in bed together. Or anywhere, for that matter. Since the moment he felt his son move, he could barely stand not touching her belly. Tyler loved testing the theory that somehow he could hear him when he spoke, and every chance he got he would say a few words, waiting for the little response of a kick or a push. It never failed to make his heart skip a beat.

Tyler’s gesture seemed to comfort her, and he heard her breathing start to slow.

“I can’t believe we’re going to have a son,” she whispered sleepily.

He watched her eyes flicker shut and rubbed his hand in circles around her stomach, hoping it might help put her to sleep. A single, barely noticeable limb pressed against her skin, and against Tyler’s hand. A smile took over his face, as it did every time he had an encounter like that.

Tyler propped himself up on an elbow and gently pressed his lips to Nicki’s.

“Sleep tight,” he said softly, confident that his words might reach her unconscious brain.

He inched down her body and left another kiss on her stomach.

“You too, buddy.”

** * * * *

Tyler groaned as he bent over to zip his duffle bag. After Nicki’s episode, he’d barely been able to sleep. He spent the remainder of the morning worrying about every little thing that might go wrong while he was gone. In fifteen minutes, he had to leave for a six day road trip, and there was no shortage of things to be fretful about. Nicki’s nightmare had just sent him over the edge.

Once he got the zipper up, he straightened out and looked at her. Normally, she looked so peaceful in her sleep. This morning, her eyebrows were furrowed and her mouth had the slightest pout, making her look unhappy and anxious. Tyler wanted her to sleep, but he didn’t want her to wake up to him not there. He crept over to her side of the bed and sat down, brushing his hand softly across her face. The corner of her mouth rose in a half of a smile, and her facial muscles relaxed a bit.

“Nicki,” he whispered, hoping he’d be able to wake her up gently. “Baby.”

Did he really just say that? Tyler was a little disgusted with himself, but chose to ignore it. As long as she wasn’t awake to hear it, he could get away with it. But the grin that formed slowly on her face told him he hadn’t been so lucky.

“This baby is turning you into a softie,” she said, her eyes still closed.

“Shut up, bitch.”

Nicki’s eyes finally opened and she grabbed him around the back of the neck, pulling him down to her. A sigh transferred from his mouth to hers, appreciating how soft her lips were when she first woke up.

“That’s a nice way to talk to the mother of your child,” she joked as she caressed his face, turning him to putty with nothing more than her touch. “Better hope he didn’t hear you.”

Tyler glanced down at her stomach. He’d spent the entire, sleepless night admiring it, and the tiny movements that came from it. Every one excited him just as much as the last.

“I’m gonna miss you two,” he muttered. The thought of leaving them was tearing away at his heart.

“Yeah, we’re gonna miss you too, Ty.”

He looked into her eyes, and knew everything that she was thinking. She was afraid for him to leave. Last time he’d gone away, none of her symptoms were as severe as they were now. No one would be there to comfort her when she awoke, frightened and alone, in the middle of the night. No one was going to be there to hold the heating pad on her back, or to massage her tired, swollen feet. He considered calling in a favor from Freddy, but he was so busy with his own life, it wasn’t fair to ask for help with his.

“You know you can call your dad if you need anything, right? Candace, too.”

“I know.”

Tyler nodded. Again, he knew exactly what was going through her mind. There were plenty of people to help her.

But it just wasn’t the same.

“I’ll be home before you know it,” he assured her.

“Somehow, I doubt that,” she mumbled, obviously holding back tears.

What else could he say? It was going to be a long, stressful six days, for both of them. He checked the clock on the bedside table. He was already late.

“Alright, I have to head out,” he said, sweeping her hair out of her face. “I made you breakfast, it’s on the island whenever you decide to get out of bed. Don’t do anything too strenuous, okay? Please?”

Nicki stared at him, looking as sad as he’d ever seen her.

“Just kiss me,” she said.

Tyler touched his lips to hers, waiting to see whether or not she was going to take over. When she didn’t, he kissed her slowly, drawing out every single passionate second. He ran his tongue along her lip, expecting the shiver that he felt from her as he did. It worked every time. Her hand brushed against his leg and he waited for it to climb, but it never did. She dropped it back to the bed, not attempting any other endeavors. This would be the first time in the four and a half years they’d been together that they hadn’t had sex the morning before he left.

He pulled away from her and peered into her eyes, trying to determine what was wrong with her. Something had to be wrong.

“You’re gonna be late.”

“I’m not leaving until I know that you’re okay.”

“I am okay,” she muttered.

Tyler shook his head. “Babe, I know when you’re not okay. And I know when you’re lying to me.”

Nicki used her arms to push herself up, and cringed when she got upright.

“What is it?” he asked, starting to feel seriously concerned.

“Nothing, I just think he’s uncomfortable,” she answered, holding a hand to her belly. She started to get out of bed, but didn’t make it far.

Tyler wrapped one arm around her back and gripped her elbow in his hand to help her up. If she couldn’t even get out of bed by herself, how was she going to take care of herself for six days?

“I’m calling your dad.”

“Tyler, don’t,” she snapped, making him flinch. She’d only spoken to him like that one other time, and it brought back all of the horrible memories. “I can’t just depend on him like that. If I need help, I will call him.”

He stood directly in front of her and looked down. “Babe, this is not the time to be stubborn. What if you fell? I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you when I wasn’t here. Please. Just call him. If not him, then Candace. She can come over when she gets out of work, at least to watch the game. When was the last time you two hung out?”

Nicki continued to challenge him with her eyes, but she didn’t fight back.

“You should really go.”

Knowing that he wouldn’t get through to her no matter how hard he tried, Tyler wrapped her up in a hug. Hugging had become a tad awkward because of her rounded stomach, but he did his best to comfort her. She hadn’t acted this way since before her brother died, and if the outcome of that had taught him anything, it was to not give up on her when she was being stubborn. When her walls went up, it was never a good sign. This time, he wasn’t going to turn away from her.

“You’re going to hate me for this, but I want you to call me every hour. If you don’t call me, I’m calling you.”

“What am I? Five?”

He planted a kiss on the top of her head and let her go. “No. But I’m about to leave the two most important things in my entire life, and I’m worried. Please just call me. Or Face Time. I wouldn’t mind seeing that pretty face every hour,” he said, cupping her face in a single hand.

Tyler grinned as her cheeks turned the slightest shade of red, signaling that he’d finally won her over.

“Okay. Tell the boys I said hi.”

“I will,” he promised, leaning in to kiss her again. “I love you guys.”

Nicki’s grin mirrored his own, and she reached up to fix his tie. “We love you, too.”

Someone might as well have shoved a dagger through his heart, because it couldn’t have been more painful than leaving her there, standing in the middle of their bedroom. Tyler had always thought that eventually, leaving would become easier. So far, it had only gotten harder. As he walked out the front door, he took one look back at the house, and saw Nicki in the window, watching him leave.

He waited until he got in the car to wipe away the tears that stung his eyes.

** * * * *

Nicki checked the clock again.

It was only six.

It had been the single longest day of her entire life, and she still had at least four hours left. She’d taken Tyler’s advice and called Candace, who’d been put on a double shift and had to work the bar through the game. She even stooped so low as to call her father and Diane, only to find out that they were spending the next four days away on her father’s business trip. Freddy and Evaline were swamped with Declan, which left her and Marshall to keep each other company.

Her phone began to ring from the kitchen, where she’d left her half eaten dinner. It was only when she answered and heard her own voice that she realized she’d been crying. She cleared her throat, trying to hide her crackling voice.

“Hello?”

“What’s wrong?”

Nicki tried to compose herself, which somehow only made her break down even further.

“Nicki?”

When she attempted to respond, nothing came out besides a sob. Her phone flashed, and it seemed Tyler had decided to Face Time her. She answered, knowing he would just call back if she ignored it. His face was full of distress.

“Babe, why are you crying? Talk to me, please,” he begged, sounding even more desperate than he had earlier. When she didn’t answer, he said, “I only have a minute. I can’t go out on the ice worrying about you. For God’s sake just tell me what’s wrong.”

“I miss you,” she whispered, unsure if he could even hear her.

She watched as his face dropped monumentally, and noticed just how much of a toll the wear and tear of her emotional instability had taken on him.

“Yeah, I miss you too. Is that all that’s bothering you?”

Nicki nodded and forced a sad excuse for a smile.

“Did you eat dinner?” he asked, looking around the locker room. Nicki could see the guys filing out around him, and knew that he had to go. He wasn’t even supposed to be on his phone before the game, and hoped that Claude had given him clearance.

“I’m in the middle of it now. I’ll finish, I promise. You have to go, Ty. Good luck.”

His eyes softened and he tilted his head, making her yearning for him grow even stronger.

“Thanks, babe. I’ll call you after, okay?”

“Okay,” she said, waiting for him to hang up first.

When her screen went blank, the momentary relief she felt was replaced with agonizing loneliness. She stuffed down the rest of her chicken and picked at the carrots, but couldn’t get them down. Some part of her wasn’t in the mood for vegetables, and was fighting back ferociously. After tidying up a little, she retreated to the couch with a cup of tea, a blanket, and Marshall. It was the best thing she could possibly do, and although the aid of the comforting objects soothed her, it could never compare to the effect Tyler had on her. It was like trying to fill a funnel with sand. It would be full as long as you kept pouring in the sand, but once it ran out, it became empty in the blink of an eye.

She grabbed the remote and turned on NESN, hoping to catch a few shots of Tyler in the pregame shows. He normally found some way into the shot, even when they were interviewing somebody else, and always made her laugh. Nicki wondered if he knew just how funny he really was. She concluded that she didn’t, and felt a little bad about laughing at him. But hey, what were husbands for if you couldn’t laugh at them once in a while?

As the minutes went on without any sight of him, she began to worry. What if Claude had caught him on his phone? What if something else had happened? As the anxiety set in, she could feel the rest of her negative emotions creeping up on her.

Nicki couldn’t bring herself to admit it, but she was depressed. It wasn’t just her lonely situation or her desire to be with Tyler. There was something else, something that she couldn’t quite comprehend. As the tears began to fall again, she heard a familiar voice coming from the speakers in the living room.

Her head shot up and her eyes locked on the TV, listening to every precious word that came from his mouth. Soon after he began to speak, Nicki felt the baby moving inside of her. She slipped her hands underneath Tyler’s sweatshirt so that she could feel it, and found herself smiling at Tyler’s face on the screen.

“You like the sound of Daddy’s voice, don’t you?” she asked, unashamed to be having a one way conversation with her unborn son. She was answered with another kick, against her right hand.

Suddenly, she didn’t feel so alone. Because she wasn’t. It dawned on her that for the next five months, a part of Tyler was permanently with her, keeping her company. She could feel a hint of his warmth and reveled in it, sinking back into their spot on the couch, her hands cradling her own stomach.

Marshall climbed over to her and let his head fall gently in her lap, the same way he had the first day she’d ever spent with Tyler. She took one of the hands off of her stomach to pat his head and began to enter a state of elatedness.

Everything was going to be fine.

** * * * *

“Tyler, what happened between periods that gave you the boost you needed to score those two goals?”

Nicki watched intently as Tyler licked his lips and nonchalantly wiped the post-shower sweat from his face. He’d mastered the art of it, making it look as though he was just stroking his five o’clock shadow. It never ceased to make her smile.

“I guess I just found some inspiration,” he answered cryptically.

“Was it something Claude said in the locker room?” Naoko asked, eager to get something of substance out of him for the viewers.

“Not exactly.”

“Care to elaborate?”

“Not really,” he said, with a devilish smirk on his face that Nicki knew was just for her.

She told him that he could say, if he was asked about it. Apparently, he’d decided to take the road less travelled and hold on to the few things they could keep to themselves. Half of Boston seemed to be monitoring her pregnancy, and she’d even heard Jack Edwards mention her once or twice while Tyler was on the ice.

Tonight had been one of those times, and she’d received a text from Jackie shortly after. It had been in the moments following Tyler’s second goal. Jack’s explanation for why he was playing so well lately was due to the fact that he had “the new dad rush”, which would quickly turn to “the new dad crash” once the baby was born. He revealed that Tyler had told him that just today he’d found out he was having a son, and that the team sent out for cake and champagne to celebrate once the game was over.

Nicki decided to watch all of the locker room reactions, too comfortable where she was on the couch to get up and go to bed. Besides, she had to stay up to talk to Tyler.

** * * * *

Tyler clapped with the rest of his team as Claude finished his speech, partially congratulating them on the win, and partially congratulating Tyler over his news. The more he thought about it, the more he was glad he was having a son. He couldn’t wait to bond with him over sports, to teach him to skate and to shoot, to give him tips on getting girls. Every aspect excited him more, to the point where he was about to burst.

He downed his second glass of champagne, happy to be celebrating with his team. He missed Nicki like there was no tomorrow, but it felt fantastic to be able to let loose and spend some time winding down. Shit. He had forgotten to call Nicki. Tyler figured she had probably gone to bed by now, but searched for his phone anyways.

Once he found it, he Face Timed her. It was so much better than just talking.

“Hi baby,” she said, sounding much better than she had the last time he’d talked to her.

“Hey you.”

“I’m guessing you got my text?’

“I did. You have great timing,” he said, grinning at her through his tiny camera. “He really started moving around when I was getting interviewed?”

Nicki’s attention left the phone for a moment and she looked down, but he couldn’t tell what she was doing.

“He really did. And he’s doing it now, too. God, Ty. It’s unbelievable. It’s like every time he hears your voice he starts doing cartwheels in there.”

Tyler shook his head, feeling as though he was on top of the world.

“Put the phone down there,” he instructed, preparing a few words for her womb.

He heard an “okay” from her and began to speak, not caring in the least bit if his team listened in on his intimate conversation.

“Hi baby,” he started, not sure what to call him, even though he had a pretty good idea of what they’d be naming him. “I know I can’t be there tonight, so you have to keep your mom safe, okay? If she gets upset, move around in there, let her know that she isn’t alone. As long as she has you, she’ll never be alone.”

A second passed before Nicki’s face came back into view. Tears were spilling down her cheeks, dripping off of her chin.

“Tyler, that was incredible. If you could have felt that… How does he know it’s you?”

“I have no idea,” he admitted. “But I meant what I said, Nicki. You’re not alone. So maybe he can’t talk back; he’s still in there.”

“I know he is. Honestly, he makes pretty good company,” she said, giggling softly into her phone.

“I bet he does. Listen babe, I should probably go. If I don’t talk to you again, I love you. And think happy things before you go to sleep. If you can’t sleep or God forbid have a nightmare, call me right away alright? I’ll stay up with you all night if I need to.”

Nicki smiled a smile that lit up her entire face, making him miss her even more than he already did.

“I love you, too. I’ll call if I need to, but for some reason I get the feeling I’ll sleep good tonight. I’ll talk to you later, love.”

“Goodnight beautiful,” he said, entranced by her soft, glowing face.

Before he spent the rest of the night on the phone with her, he hung up and rejoined his team. Only a handful of them had heard his conversation, and of course Dougie had to ask him about it. The guys with kids all exchanged stories of what it was like when their wives were pregnant and when their kids were born. Every word got him more excited.

In five short months, he’d finally have what he’d been waiting for.