White Orchids
Dissipation
“Fuck!”
Tyler screamed in pain from the cramp forming in his calf. He knew the second he woke up it was because he didn’t bother with the protein shake he drank every night before bed. After grabbing his leg, he extended it slowly, trying to get the pain to subside. As a rookie, these cramps had been a nightly occurrence, and he’d learned how to deal with them rather efficiently.
Once he calmed down, he noted the empty half of the bed next to him, and remembered exactly why it was vacant. The Cup. They’d lost the Cup, and it was completely, one hundred percent his fault. He never should have tried to be aggressive. He should have just let the defense do their job. But no, some idiotic drive in him sent him chasing after the puck, willing to do anything to stop it from nearing Tuukka.
He turned over onto his other side and heard something crunch underneath him. One feel told him that it was a small piece of paper, and one look, even from a distance, told him Nicki had left it for him. Her precise, flawless handwriting was so distinguishable; he would know it anywhere. It took some effort to contort his body in such a way to turn on the lamp next to him, but he succeeded without toppling off of the bed.
As he held the note up to his face, a wave of guilt washed over him.
Tyler, I know you don’t want to talk to me right now, and you probably don’t really want to be around me, either. We don’t have to talk about what happened tonight. It never has to come up again if you don’t want it to. If you see this in the middle of the night, we’re going to Brampton tomorrow morning. I already bought the tickets and packed your bag. I’ll wake you up at eight. Candace is coming, too. My dad will look after Marshall. Listen babe, I don’t care about what happened out there. You are no less of a man to me than you were this morning. I love you just as much as I did before the game, and I’ll love you even more when I wake up tomorrow morning. Sweet dreams, love.
“Shit,” he muttered under his breath, grabbing his jaw where just twenty four hours ago, an unruly playoff beard grew.
There was simply only one choice for him to make. Tyler rolled off of the bed, placing the note on his nightstand. A sleepy yawn took over his face, and he stretched his arms high in the air, feeling the aching muscles in his back that had yet to be attended to.
On his way down the stairs, he had to grasp the railing to keep from falling down. His legs were rubbery underneath him, and he was weighed down by the grief of single handedly throwing away an entire season, not only for him, but for his team.
The moment Nicki’s head came into view over the armrest of the couch, some of his pain, both internal and external, began to ease away. He’d been so horrible to treat her the way he did, when all she wanted to do was help. Had their roles been reversed, he would have been infuriated with her.
The closer he got, the more of her became visible. Marshall was sleeping with her, his giant head resting on one of her thighs. The position she was in seemed uncomfortable at best, but she looked like she was sound asleep. Her silk bathrobe draped elegantly over her body, giving him small glimpses of decadent skin.
Tyler shook his head, disgusted with himself. It had been so easy for him to deny her, standing there in the middle of their room looking like she was straight out of a Playboy shoot. Not until now had it dawned on him how much effort she had most likely put into the display, and how much courage it took her to show her body off that way when she was so self conscious about it.
He knelt down next to the couch so that his face was in line with hers. Her long, heavy breaths indicated that she had drifted far into the unconscious, and he hoped she was dreaming of things far better than what she had experienced that night.
After shooing Marshall away, Tyler slid his arms under Nicki’s small frame and lifted her easily off of the couch. She stirred a bit in his arms before becoming limp again, her head falling perfectly into place on his shoulder.
It took a bit of concentration and a lot of extra strength to get them both up the stairs safely, and once he hit the landing he crept down the hallway and back into their room. The covers on his side of the bed were already pulled down, and in order to simplify things, he set Nicki down delicately in between the sheets. He knew that she slept on his side of the bed whenever he was gone, and figured she would be fine doing it even when he was home.
Tyler pulled the blankets up to her shoulders before climbing in on her side, already feeling comforted, just from her presence. His head dropped onto her pillow, and he blissfully inhaled the faint smell of her hair that had been left from previous nights. Everything about her was like a drug to him, but her scents; her shampoo, her body wash, her perfume, even her natural smell, they were inebriating. Every time he smelled anything remotely close to her, it set off a whirlwind of memories and warm, soothing thoughts.
Nicki groaned softly and flipped onto her side. There was no way in hell he was passing up the opportunity, and swiftly slid across the bed and pressed against her, molding his chest into her back and entwining his arms and legs with hers. She pushed back and curled up, completing his mission for him.
His head was spinning from the relief that was rushing over him. If he had only realized that he needed her six hours ago, the entire disaster could have been avoided and he wouldn’t have to prepare a long, sincere apology for the morning. Tyler was just waiting for the day when she grew tired of his pleas for forgiveness and walked out on him, but every time he thought it might happen, it didn’t. On the contrary, it normally made her even more loving. She could sense his distress, she always knew when he was upset or anxious.
He noticed a pattern that formed the more disagreements they got into. Or, more accurately, the fits that he threw and dragged her into. Whenever he would snap at her, she would leave sobbing, giving him just enough time to see what he’d done and feel terrible about it. Then she would saunter back to him, a bit timid and discouraged, and crawl into his arms while he told her over and over again how sorry he was.
So rarely had a fight been her fault, Tyler couldn’t even remember more than one specific occasion. He really needed to find another outlet for his frustrations; she didn’t deserve to be his punching bag.
The more time he spent wrapped around her, the more his guilt dissipated. Eventually, the heaviness returned to his eyelids, warning him that sleep was only seconds away. He nuzzled his face against Nicki’s, relishing in the sensation of her silky skin against his freshly shaved cheek. His lips made honest work, leaving kisses in all of her favorite spots.
Right before he fell asleep he whispered into her ear, professing the love that both kept him grounded, and sent him soaring.
** * * *
Hot breath on Nicki’s neck was the first thing she felt when she woke up.
“Ew, Marshall,” she groaned, “Way too close.”
She went to push his head away from her, which was when she noticed that the body behind her was much too large to be her dog. Her eyes peeled open, and the sight she was greeted with was not the one she had been expecting. Nicki was in her own bed, in her own room. Not on the couch in the living room where she had fallen asleep the previous night. The tattooed arm draped across her hinted that it was in fact her husband behind her, and not their pet.
As her eyes drooped shut again, she let out a soft sigh. There was no other way to explain how she had gotten in bed besides that Tyler had risen in the middle of the night, found her, and carried her up. It also didn’t surprise her that her bathrobe was nowhere in sight, and she could feel the soft caress of the sheets that clung to her bare skin, indicating he’d also removed what she wore underneath. A silent chuckle shook her slightly, and she shook her head at what he’d done. Typical Tyler.
Everything he had said to her last night was now completely irrelevant. Nicki knew it was an issue that she could never stay mad at him, no matter how heinous an act he committed. The moment she saw the innocent look on his face, the one he wore when he knew he’d hurt her, all was forgiven. She expected that face to make an entrance once he woke up, and a part of her looked forward to it. At least if she couldn’t be angry with him, he knew well enough to realize he screwed up.
Drawing in a deep breath, she pushed herself as far backwards as she could, adoring the way her warm skin meshed with his. On contact, it became evident that she wasn’t the only one lacking clothes. More often than not, he slept without them, which was perfectly okay with her. There was nothing quite like awaking in his warm embrace, made more comforting still by the lack of a barrier between their bodies. It was the single most natural experience she’d ever had, being naked with him. It was the way nature intended them to be, and she could see why. The power of human touch, especially by the one she loved, was inconceivable.
Behind her, Tyler moved around, and for a second Nicki thought he was about to roll away from her. She was fully prepared to follow him to the other side of the bed, not willing to give up the way she felt just yet. Luckily, once he settled, his arms wrapped more tightly around her, and his face landed on her cheek. Somehow, scruff had already begun to grow on his jaw again and it scraped against her like sandpaper. Instead of paying attention to the irritation, she relished in the familiarity of it and counted her blessings. As difficult a life she’d had, she couldn’t think of any karma strong enough to bring him to her, to make him fall in love with her, the way she had him. And he had absolutely no idea how amazing he was.
Carefully, Nicki raised a hand up to the side of his face, lying her palm flat on his cheek. The breath exiting his nose tickled her face; every single sensation was overwhelming, and she was experiencing each one individually. His bony knees tucked into the crevice formed by her curled legs, her feet entwined with his calves, his chest gently moving her back and forth with every precious breath he took. There was not a solitary thing about it that she didn’t treasure. She figured after so many years, eventually she would stop having these ridiculous, pathetic encounters every morning. But there she was, seconds away from pinching herself to make sure that she was truly living.
While she was lost in thought, she didn’t even notice when a larger hand eclipsed hers. Only when Tyler’s fingertips began to caress the smooth, sensitive skin on her stomach did she realize that he’d awoken. She was about to whisper a good morning before remembering how they’d left off last night. Just because he found it in himself to find her and bring her to bed didn’t imply that he wanted to talk.
Instead of greeting him to acknowledge his consciousness, Nicki brushed her fingers along the arm that was wrapped around her, inspiring it to squeeze her closely against Tyler’s body. It was as if they melted together, there was no point of separation. It was limbs entangled with limbs, warm skin against warm skin. Her eyelids closed involuntarily, letting her focus on nothing but his touch. He was so adoring, so affectionate and caring. He didn’t even need to apologize. His hand trailing gently across every inch of her skin said everything for him.
*** * * * *
Tyler couldn’t keep his hands off of her. The moment he woke up, the terror that had engulfed him while he slept and dreamt was instantly replaced with Nicki’s glowing warmth. The negativity that flowed through him like poison was slowly diluted with every second he spent holding her and feeling her small body curled up with his.
So maybe he had disappointed an entire city. So maybe he’d let down his team, the men who had been his family for the last eight years. And maybe he had nothing but an ounce of self confidence left in him. He knew that he was going to be okay, eventually. The only thing that would get him out of bed that morning was the nurturing, beautiful woman in front of him who somehow loved him even more when he was at his lowest. Knowing that she needed him, knowing that he was the only one she trusted to protect her and care for her, gave him the strength he needed to move forward. It wouldn’t happen today, it probably wouldn’t happen this week. But somewhere down the line, he would get over it. And it would all be thanks to her.
He wanted to tell her all of the things that were running through his mind. He wanted to show her that he needed her even more than she needed him. That her faith in him was sometimes the only thing that kept him going, fighting for the things he wanted most even when they seemed unattainable. She deserved to know all of that and more, but he couldn’t bring himself to say the words.
As an attempt to relay the suffocating, all consuming love he felt for her just then, he inched his hand slowly down her stomach, coming to a rest between her closed thighs. Tyler grasped the one on top, massaging his fingertips into her skin. Her lean, powerful muscles were tight and tensed, and he hoped it was from his touch and not from the stress he’d caused her the night before. A subtle moan came from in front of him, urging him to do what he so badly desired.
After a deep breath to prepare himself for what was to come, he drew in one of his legs and bent at the knee. With her thigh still clenched in his grip, he lifted her leg and placed it over his own, giving him the accessibility he needed to enter her. Another moan, louder this time, echoed through his head as he filled her. Her warmth, her softness, it all came crashing down on him at once, pushing away his lingering sense of failure. The only thing he cared about in that moment was Nicki, and being connected to her on the deepest, most intimate level.
Being with her that way, being the sole cause of her arching back and pleasured noises, returned an air of masculinity to him that he’d lost the second the buzzer sounded the previous night. However, it was about so much more than his renewed preeminence. It was about being close to the one person he loved more than anything, in a way that no one else could. She had her friends and family, she had even formed bonds with his friends and teammates. But not a single one of them could feel her the way he did, or be with her the way that he was. It was reserved solely for him.
His gentle, slow rocking clued her in to his motives. Nicki was so in tune with his emotions that even when he was trying to hide them from her, she still knew exactly what was going on inside of him. She never came out and said it, and Tyler guessed it was so that she wouldn’t risk making him feel insecure, or put him in a position where he felt the need to put up a wall to keep her out. She would do whatever it took to make him feel better, and in cases such as these, the best thing she could do was to stay quiet and let him do what he needed to do. He made a mental note to thank her for it later, to let her know how much he appreciated her respecting his feelings.
Tyler continued the way he was, every once in a while placing soft kisses across her shoulder and neck. Every time his lips hit her skin a shudder would shake her body, replenishing a bit of his pride. One of her little, delicate hands reached back to touch his cheek, and her caress was nearly too much for him. It was filled to the brim with love and affection and passion, so much so that his heart felt like it might burst at any moment.
As he neared the finish, he craned his neck so that he could gently press his lips to her face; her cheek, her ear, the side of her head, they were all fair game for his tender kiss. The hand that once held his face inched to the back of his head, sifting through the unruly tufts of hair at the nape of his neck. The sensation finally pushed him too far, and he poured out all of the pent up anger and frustration that threatened his wellbeing. It was not the first time, nor would it be the last, that being with her cured him of his tainted thoughts and self doubt.
Continuing to be the amazing, supportive wife that she was, Nicki did nothing but lower her thigh into its original position and push towards him, resting her back soothingly against his chest. Tyler held her closer than he ever had before, and only wished that he could bring her even nearer. He buried his face in her eternally messy hair and left a long, single kiss on her head. She knew how much it meant to him, how much she meant to him.
Tyler left his eyes open for another moment, attempting to judge what time it was based off of the sun’s placement in the sky. The subtle glow of the rising sun over the horizon signified he had at least a few more hours before they had to be up, and relieved sigh escaped his lips. He had a treacherous, difficult recovery ahead of him. But as long as Nicki stood indisputably by his side, he would make it back someday, stronger than he was before.
** * * * *
“Ty, sweetheart. Tyler. Baby. We gotta get going,” Nicki whispered, shaking his shoulder gently.
Tyler was out cold, and she could only imagine that it was due to the intensely emotional encounter they’d had earlier that morning. Not once since she’d known him had such a rawness radiated from him, not even the night they’d lost their son. Nicki didn’t quite understand, and she wasn’t about to try. Whatever he was feeling, there was no way around it. The only thing she could do was help him get over it, and that was exactly what she intended to do.
“Hon, I hate doing this to you, but you gotta wake up,” she said a bit louder, letting her lips fall to his soft, freshly shaved face.
His eyelids opened slowly, giving tell to just how far under he’d been. Nicki couldn’t stop the love struck grin that formed on her face when his soft brown irises looked up at her. There were so many emotions behind them, she couldn’t even decipher most of them. But the ever present love was burning bright, the one thing that kept her by him, even through the worst times she’d ever endured. It was enough to make her stay, no matter how miserable he acted, no matter how terribly he treated her.
She watched him as he yawned and stretched, and a small part of her was hoping he might have turned around. When she didn’t receive any kind of greeting from him, she accepted that making him feel better was going to be harder than it ever had been before. At least when she’d had a miscarriage, he hadn’t felt like it was entirely his fault. He had someone to point a finger at; he didn’t have to shoulder all of the guilt the way he did now.
Before he could lift himself out of bed, Nicki grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back down onto the mattress. He stared at her through his sad, beautiful eyes, waiting to hear the explanation as to why she wouldn’t let him leave. She brushed her fingers against his cheek, and felt a bit of pride when his eyelids fluttered shut for just a second.
“I love you, Ty. I promise being home is going to make you feel better. I know it will. You just have to give it a chance.”
Tyler attempted a smile, but it was a weak one at best. She left it at that, not feeling the need to press the issue any further. After a chaste kiss, Nicki rolled back to her side of the bed and got up. The dizziness hit her like a train. She felt herself falling and prayed that she would hit the bed instead of the floor if Tyler couldn’t get to her fast enough. Her arms stuck out in front of her, readying to break the fall if need be.
Luckily, she didn’t ever find out where she would land. Tyler’s stealth allowed him to bolt across the room and catch her before anything catastrophic happened.
“Jesus babe, what is going on with you?” he muttered, helping her get upright again.
Nicki took her time straightening out, appreciating his strong physique as he held her up. Although he wasn’t nearly as affectionate as normal, the concern was still plain in his voice. He rarely let his own problems cloud his love for her, and she was tremendously thankful for it.
“You need to see a doctor,” he said firmly, turning her around so that her face was against his chest. “I’m worried about you.”
She breathed in his familiar, musky scent and closed her eyes, hoping to regain her balance and settle the spinning in her head.
“I will, Ty. As soon as we get back from Brampton.”
He shook his head above her, and the motion of his chin roughed up her already messy hair.
“You’re going as soon as we get to Brampton. I’ll bring you to my old doctor.”
“Tyler, it’s – “
“I don’t wanna hear it,” he warned, pressing his lips to the top of her head. “I need to know you’re okay.”
Nicki let out a defeated sigh. “Alright, love.”
Tyler sighed himself and wrapped his arms tightly around her, pulling her into a warm, unexpected hug. He held her far longer than he normally did, and she wished he would just tell her what was on his mind; that he would let out all of the hurt and the pain and the regrets and let her help him. But she knew him far too well to expect anything of the sort, so she settled in and enjoyed the embrace while it lasted. She didn’t take it for granted, as he could easily still be ignoring her or snapping at her.
She easily could have spent the entire day there, but the doorbell ringing downstairs forced reality to set in.
“Must be Candace,” she murmured, perplexed as to why she would be ringing the doorbell when she had her own key.
Without saying anything, Tyler dropped his arms to his sides and let her go. Nicki foolishly lingered for a minute, thinking that maybe he would sweep her off of her feet with a kiss, or simply share an I love you. When none of those things happened, she turned her back to him and left, descending their wide staircase into the foyer.
As soon as she stepped into the open, airy room, she could see Candace peeking into the windows that surrounded the front door. She waved excitedly and Nicki waved back, feeling uplifted to know that at least someone was going to be enthusiastic about their trip.
“Hey sissy!” she exclaimed as she bounced through the doorway.
“Aw, Candace, you didn’t have to do that,” Nicki said, eyeing the tray of iced coffees she balanced between her hands. “We have coffee here.”
Candace set the tray down in the kitchen before flicking a hand in the air.
“Don’t worry, I used Ty’s name, got ‘em for free. That’s the best damn sponsorship I could ever think of.”
Nicki couldn’t help but giggle. Being around Candace always improved her mood; she was so bubbly and upbeat, it was difficult to be negative around her. It certainly helped that she had grown especially fond of Nicki over the years, and never missed a beat when it came to her and Tyler’s relationship. Whenever they were having a rough time, Candace was usually the first one on the scene, negotiating and trying to solve whatever problem had arisen.
After a few seconds of silence, Candace asked, “So how is he?”
“Honestly, I’m not really sure,” she said quietly, not wanting Tyler to hear her. “One second he’s nearly himself, the next he’s depressed and ignoring me. I mean I get
it, I do. I just hope it doesn’t last long. With all this shit we have going on…”
Candace flashed a sympathetic expression before throwing her arms around Nicki’s shoulders. Her strong perfume was enough to tickle her nose, but something about it was comforting. She had never had a sister, never known the kind of bond that she had with her sister-in-law. It was a feeling unlike any other.
“Why is my brother such a shit head?” she asked, laughing lightly.
“It’s nice to see you too,” a deep voice grumbled from behind her.
Nicki gave Candace another squeeze before letting her cross the room to Tyler, who was slouched over leaning against the doorway. He looked miserable, and like he hadn’t slept in weeks. Nicki knew better, remembering how he was passed out for a good portion of the night. There was a darkness in his eyes that she simply could not overlook. A darkness she hadn’t seen since the night she lost their child.
“Love you, bro,” she giggled, pulling him into a hug that he obviously didn’t want to be a part of.
“You want a coffee, hon?” Nicki asked, hoping maybe some caffeine would perk him up.
Tyler shrugged his shoulders, but didn’t give her an answer. She grabbed one from the tray anyways, stuck a straw in it, and brought it over to him. As he took it from her, Candace backed away. The tension in the room was thick and overpowering, and Nicki wasn’t quite sure how to alleviate it.
Candace clapped her hands together, drawing the attention of everyone in the room, including Marshall.
“Let’s get going! I took Brad’s old car, so we can just leave it at the airport. No point in making Nicki’s dad come and get us.”
She looked up at Tyler, who was currently staring off into space.
“You ready?”
He nodded his head, never once glancing in her direction.
“Alright, I’ll get the bags and meet you guys at the car.”
“Sounds go – “
“I brought them down already, they’re by the door,” Tyler said, cutting off a dismayed Candace mid-statement. She hated being interrupted.
“Stop being a douche, Ty,” she snapped.
Nicki waited for him to rebuff, and braced herself to see her husband in a way she only had a few other times. He was different with his sisters, he was meaner. She despised when he treated them badly, even when they provoked him. Seeing the man who was normally so sweet and gentle act so harshly made her stomach churn. It seemed unnatural. She knew that he could be violent and cruel on the ice, but when it carried over outside of the rink, it scared her.
Surprising both Candace and Nicki, Tyler remained silent. He left the kitchen and headed towards the foyer. After exchanging worried glances, the girls followed him.
“This is going to be one long trip,” Candace mumbled under her breath.
Nicki couldn’t help but nod. She was dreading the days to come.
*** * * * *
“Hi sweetie!” Jackie screeched, running across the front lawn and launching herself at Tyler. “Oh, I missed you so much! Why do you have to wait so long to come up here?”
Tyler muttered a quiet sorry and half heartedly hugged her back. As a hockey player herself, Jackie understood Tyler’s distancing. Nicki had never played, but being married to him had taught her the full weight of the Stanley Cup. He was spoiled. Both times he had been to the finals before, he’d emerged victorious. She imagined that only deepened his wounds.
“Hi Jackie,” Nicki said sweetly, accepting the motherly embrace that Jackie always offered. “How are you?”
“So much better now that the three of you are here. Boston is taking away all of my children.”
Although she was joking, Nicki could sense the sadness and the loneliness that accompanied Jackie’s statement. She had Jim, and she had Cassidy. But even Cassidy was going to be attending college in the fall, at her sister’s alma mater. A house that had once been full of children was now empty, and Nicki had to put herself in Jackie’s shoes. It was a sorrowful existence, for sure.
“Well why don’t you just move down there, too? We have plenty of room if you wanted to stay with us,” she offered.
“Oh, no, I couldn’t. Brampton is my home, honey. You are the sweetest thing,” Jackie cooed, placing an affectionate kiss on Nicki’s cheek.
“If you ever change your mind, you’re more than welcome at our place.”
Jackie laughed and finally let go of Nicki. “You know, it’s a good thing my son decided to marry someone so nice. Otherwise he would have a lot of apologizing to do.”
She laughed with her, glancing around to make sure Tyler was out of earshot. He was nowhere in sight, and she concluded he’d already gone inside.
“Jackie, I don’t know what to do with him,” she admitted, keeping her voice low just in case. “I’m afraid I’ll do or say something and set him off and make everything worse than it already is.”
After slinging an arm around her shoulder, Jackie led her towards the house.
“Don’t you worry about him, it’s something he has to get over on his own. You just keep being you, sweetie. He’ll come around. It only happened last night,” she reminded her kindly. A smile broke out on her face as she reached to open the front door. “Just hang out with the girls and I, let him do whatever he needs to do. We’ll have fun, I promise.”
Nicki smiled back at her. Jackie was right. Any time spent with Tyler’s family was always a time to remember. Just as she was about to step through the door, a massive frame rushed past them, nearly knocking Nicki backwards. Just as she was about to lose her footing, two hands gripped her waist.
“You okay?” Tyler asked, suddenly becoming gentle.
She nodded slowly, confused over what was happening, and why he was in such a hurry to leave.
“I’m going to meet up with Ty,” he explained.
Hearing him say that could not have been any more relieving. Tyler Brown was one of his best friends, and a great one at that. If anyone could cheer him up, it would be Tyler. He was constantly being shuffled between the AHL and the NHL, and knew the value of the Cup just as much as her Tyler did. They never failed to come back with a funny story and two equally goofy grins on their faces.
“Have fun,” she said softly, “And tell him I said hi.”
“I will,” he promised, catching her off guard with a loving kiss.
His lips moved slowly with hers, taking their sweet time and sending a shiver from her head to her toes. When the breath from his nose bounced off of her face, Nicki realized that she hadn’t been breathing, and sucked in as much air as she could while trying not to ruin his kiss. Her hands snaked up his chest to his shoulders, inspiring him to tangle his fingers through her hair, pulling her head just a bit closer to his.
A part of her wished that he would never stop kissing her, that they could forever stay where they stood, never having to split from one another. Disappointment consumed her as he removed his lips, but was quickly replaced with relief as they whispered a soft I love you into her ear.
She watched, dumbfounded, as he sprinted across the lawn and disappeared into Jackie’s huge SUV. Not until he sped down the street and completely out of sight did she attempt to move. There had been very few times in her life that she’d been so taken aback by a kiss, or by three simple words. A hand on her back made her jump, and she spun around to see whose it was.
“I don’t know if I should be proud or jealous,” Jackie joked, rubbing small circles across her back. “Whatever happens, there’s no denying that boy loves you.”
For a reason unbeknownst to her, Nicki leaned against her mother-in-law, resting her head on her shoulder and accepting her comforting offer.
“I just want him to be happy,” she murmured, feeling the sting of her own words.
It was frightening how much she would sacrifice just to see a smile on his face.
** * * * *
Nicki, Cassidy, and Jackie all giggled harmoniously as Candace animatedly made her way towards them, with a huge platter of drinks and snacks balanced in the palm of her hand. They were already a couple of drinks in each, and with every sip the mood had lightened more and more.
“What’d you bring us this time?” Nicki asked, curious as to what kind of drinks she had concocted.
“I call it…” Candace hesitated, and they all waited patiently for her to share the name. “Ah, fuck, I don’t know what it’s called, I just threw a bunch of shit together.”
Another round of laughter accompanied her brutal honesty, and they each accepted a martini glass filled to the brim with a purplish liquid from the stainless steel tray.
“Jackie, can you come here for a minute?” Jim shouted from somewhere inside of the house.
She groaned, earning a few more giggles from the group. “Coming!” she screamed back, cursing under her breath as she lifted herself out of the chair she was in. “Nobody touch me drink.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Candace said, giving her a salute as she made her way towards the house. “She’s so plastered.”
Nicki watched Jackie as she stumbled and swerved across the grass, and had to agree.
“Before she comes back,” Cassidy started, “I have to ask you something.”
“Me?” Candace asked skeptically.
“No, Nicki,” she answered hurriedly. Cassidy didn’t give her the chance to accept. “So you know I’m going to BU in the fall. And mom is having a really hard time with the payments.”
“So you want me to talk to Ty?”
“Will the two of you shut up for five seconds?!” Cassidy screamed, looking guilty for yelling the moment the words left her mouth. Nicki and Candace did as she asked and sat quietly, waiting for her to continue. “I’m sorry I freaked. This isn’t exactly easy to say. I don’t want to depend on Ty for everything. I want to pay for it myself. Just… promise you’ll hear me out okay?”
“I promise,” Nicki said, crossing her heart for emphasis.
“I was thinking, maybe I could live with you guys instead of at school, cause you know that would basically cut the cost in half.”
“I’ll have to talk to Ty about it, but I’m sure that would be fine. Actually, it might work out for all of us, if you’re willing to babysit.”
Once she considered how mutually beneficial that situation could be, Nicki was perfectly okay with the idea of Cassidy living with them. It would be nice to have someone to keep her company while Tyler was away, especially if he was right about them possibly remaining childless for quite some time.
Cassidy stared at her, and Nicki knew that she was missing something.
“What is it, Cass?”
“Well… Say I did move in with you. I still need a job to pay for school, and I can’t think of anything that would pay enough and still give me time to focus on studying.”
Nicki understood exactly where she was coming from. It hadn’t been so long since she’d been in school, and she remembered quite clearly the financial struggles that had diseased her before she met Tyler.
“Come on, Cassidy. You know Tyler would have no problem helping you out,” she said, “He basically paid for all of my tuition. And technically, my rent too. If anything he’d do it to take the burden off of your mom, after all she’s done for him.”
“It’s not the same,” Cassidy retorted. “I don’t want to be that girl who mooches off of her rich brother her whole life.”
“It’s not mooching – “
Before Nicki could finish her sentence, Cassidy jumped in again, speaking at lightening fast speed.
“I know you guys need a surrogate and I want do it,” she blurted out.
She sat back in her chair, shocked.
“What did you just say?”
“Cassidy, hey, slow down,” Candace said, rising from her seat to join her sister. “That’s an awfully big offer to be making.”
Cassidy ignored her completely. “Nicki, think about it. It’s perfect. I did some research online, and I know the hardest part about the whole process is finding a surrogate you can trust. And the hardest part for the surrogate is letting the baby go once it’s born. You guys know you can trust me, and if I got attached, well, it’s going to be my niece or nephew. If I’m living with you, I’ll see it all the time. You can pay me whatever you’d pay someone else to do it, or less for all I care. I can take the year off, do this for you, and go back to school with enough money to stay until I get my Masters.”
“You realize that even if I was okay with this, Ty and your mother would never go along with it. You’re only eighteen, Cass, you can’t be pregnant,” Nicki said, trying to remind her that pregnancy wasn’t something to look forward to, especially when you’re young and fit. “What if you meet a boy? Things would get so complicated. I don’t want to see you go through that.”
In the blink of an eye, Cassidy had rocketed out of her chair and on to Nicki’s, almost sitting in her lap.
“Please, please, please Nicki just do this for me. I know it sounds crazy. But you have no idea how much thought I’ve put into this. I want to pay for college, and I want to help my brother. It’s a win-win, for all of us.”
She was trying to figure out how to respond when her phone buzzed on the table next to her. Nicki reached for it, glad to have a momentary distraction.
Ty: 14:24:59: Coming back at 4 to bring u to the dr. Dinner after?
For a minute, she forgot about the pandemonium going on around her.
“Jesus would you stop smexting over there? You’re making me sick.”
Nicki’s head shot up to glare at Candace. “[i]What[/i] did you just say?!”
“Smexting,” she explained. “Smile texting. When you smile like an idiot because of a text. Please tell me it’s Tyler and he’s no longer being a piece of shit?”
She laughed and shook her off before glancing back down at her phone. So maybe she was smiling like an idiot. At least he could still make her do that, even after all of the time they’d been together.
Dinner sounds great. Having fun with Tyler?
After the Delivered showed up underneath the message she sent, Nicki directed her attention back to Cassidy.
“Because I love you so much, I will put some thought into it,” she said hesitantly, not sure if what she was doing was right. “Let me sleep on it and talk to Tyler. I don’t see any reason to bring this up with your mom until we’ve made a decision.”
A tiny pair of arms wrapped around her neck, nearly suffocating her. Nicki laughed and hugged her back.
“I can’t thank you enough,” Cassidy muttered. “I know it’s weird. But the more I thought about it the more I realized how good it could be, for all of us. I think you’ll realize it, too.”
“We’ll see, Cass.”
** * * *
“As fun as this has been, I should probably go in and get ready,” Nicki said, having a bit of difficulty getting out of her chair.
After Cassidy’s proposal, she was left feeling a bit overwhelmed, and the strong mixed drink by her side seemed like a good idea. At the time. Now, it was 3:45, and she was supposed to be making an appearance before a doctor in less than twenty minutes.
“Hope they don’t run a blood alcohol test,” Candace teased. “He’s probably going to think you’re an alcoholic.”
“Shut up,” she garbled, throwing a stray flip flop in Candace’s direction.
Jackie’s unusual laugh rang through her ears as Candace glared at her, letting everyone know how much she didn’t appreciate having a rubber shoe thrown at her.
“Good luck at the doctor, sweetie. He’s very kind, he’s known Tyler since he was born.”
“Thanks, Jackie.”
As Nicki stepped off of the patio that surrounded the pool and back onto the soft, damp grass, Jackie added, “And good luck with dinner. I hope Ty got him to come around. Those boys have something... special.”
Laughter had been a constant theme throughout the afternoon, but not once had there been such hysterics as when Jackie mentioned the Tylers. They had something special, alright. There had been times where Nicki found herself wondering whether there might be something her Tyler wasn’t telling her. If he was secretly gay, she thought she had a right to know.
She shook her head as she made her way to the house, recalling the few memories she had with Tyler Brown. She had gone fishing with them once, and it had been a total disaster. Not only had Nicki accidentally hooked a turtle through its eye and had a complete and utter mental breakdown over it, the boys had been too busy with each other to notice her falling out of the boat and onto a sharp rock. The soft pink scar that ran the length of her foot reminded her constantly of the pain she’d been in, and how funny they thought it was afterwards. Nicki never found it in herself to see it as humorous.
Out of curiosity, she glanced down at her left foot midstride, trying to picture in her mind how it had looked last time she saw it. The second she got a glimpse of it, she barreled into something solid and heard bellowing laughter fill the room.
“Babe what the fuck are you doing?” Tyler chuckled, wrapping his arms securely around her and placing a firm kiss atop her head.
“I was… never mind,” she said, still flustered from hitting him so hard. “How was Tyler?”
“He’s good. Sorry I never answered your text, it totally slipped my mind.”
“That’s okay,” Nicki murmured, suddenly overcome by how nice it felt to be pressed against him. His soft, worn tee shirt was soothing against her burned skin, and whenever she made direct contact with his skin, tingles shot across her exterior. It hurt her, but she added, “I really need to get dressed, love.”
“Alright, I gotta talk to my mom anyways,” he said, running a hand down the length of her hair before releasing her from his arms.
When she tried to step around him, she found herself back in his embrace, and couldn’t think of one reason why it was a bad thing. Nicki sighed when he let her go only seconds after, and cocked her head as she took in the expression on Tyler’s face. It looked like a hybrid of pain and desire, and she hoped that it was for her.
“Nicki, you look amazing,” he pointed out, running his hands down her sides and across her bare stomach. “Look at those abs!”
For the first time in ages, she felt all of the blood in her body rush to her cheeks. She let out a nervous giggle and watched his hands explore her newly toned body.
“You have yourself to thank for that. Brian has been absolutely fantastic. I can’t thank you enough for getting him to help me.”
“He’s a trainer, it’s his job to get people in shape. All I had to do was mention it and he was totally on board. I’ll have to do something to thank him,” Tyler said playfully, giving her a subtle wink.
At a loss for what to say, Nicki simply stood where she was and watched Tyler drink every ounce of her in. When his eyes finished scanning her, he bent slowly at the knees, leaving a trail of intimate kisses from her neck all the way down to her thighs. His lips brushed against her bikini bottom, and her fingers involuntarily gripped his hair, as if they didn’t know that this couldn’t possibly be happening here, in the middle of her mother-in-law’s kitchen.
Once he was finished torturing her, Tyler slid back up her body, never letting his soft lips leave her sensitive skin. He placed tiny pecks up her neck, until he reached her ear.
“Are you showering?” he whispered, turning her legs to jelly underneath her.
“I planned on it,” she responded, almost tripping over her words.
“I’ll be up in five.”
** * * * *
“What the hell took you so long?!”
Tyler jumped at the sound of his friend’s voice, who until then, he had completely forgotten was still sitting in his mother’s idling car.
“Oh, hey Tyler,” Nicki said, sounding a little confused.
“How are ya?” he asked from the passenger seat.
“Uh, I’m good, thanks. Am I missing something?”
“Dude you totally forgot to ask her, didn’t you,” Tyler Brown said accusingly.
Tyler let out a long sigh as he buckled his seatbelt. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I got distracted.” He twisted his neck to look at Nicki in the backseat, who seemed like she was beginning to figure out what was going on. “Is it okay if he comes with us? I lost a bet and I owe him a steak.”
Her face broke out into a smile, and he continued to look at her as he put the car in reverse and pressed his foot to the gas.
“Jesus fucking Christ man are you trying to kill us?!”
It took another moment for him to realize that he was not in reverse, but in drive, and was feet away from plowing through his garage doors. Nicki was giggling uncontrollably in the back, and he had no doubt it was from all of the times he had made fun of her for doing the exact same thing. Luckily, she knew Tyler Brown well enough to keep her mouth shut about it until they were alone, as he would surely never hear the end of it if it came up.
“Here,” he said, lifting himself out of the passenger seat and landing uncomfortably in Tyler’s lap. “Let me drive, so you can stare at your lady without ending all three of our lives.”
“Dude get off of me!” Tyler shouted, trying to push him back into his seat. “You’re crushing my balls!”
Behind them, Tyler heard his wife break out into hysterics. It had been a long, long time since he’d heard her laugh that much. The desire to see her glowing face and to watch as she squinted her eyes to keep the tears from falling was the only thing that drove him to slip out from underneath his bulky friend and into the passenger seat.
“You suck, bro.”
“Oh! I’m the one that sucks?! Pretty sure if I sucked, you wouldn’t be buying me a steak right now and ruining what could have been a lovely, romantic dinner.”
Before Tyler could think of a worthy response, Nicki stepped in.
“Stop it, Tyler. I’m sure the two of you will still have a very romantic evening.”
Both of them let out a chuckle and stuck their hands behind them for a high five. Nicki slapped each of them enthusiastically, grabbing Tyler’s and holding on to it when he tried to take it back. He complied, figuring if she wanted to stroke and caress and massage his overly sensitive skin that it was just fine with him. He glanced down at their entwined hands before looking up at her, almost forgetting to breathe when she flashed her sweetest smile. It was a smile that only came around post sex, and it was one he always looked forward to seeing. It reflected all of the satisfaction and love and contentment that he knew the both of them felt that very moment.
Tyler had no shame in staring at her, raking his eyes over every inch of her beautiful body. He tried to picture her without her clothes, the way she had been only ten minutes ago. When he did, he saw her bent over in front of him in the shower, and his hands gripping her firm sides as he ruthlessly pushed himself into her. Seeing her back in her old body, with her defined muscles and tight skin, had turned him animalistic. There were few things he wouldn’t do to strip her down again that night and take advantage of her. It became evident quite quickly that as long as she was with him, and as long as he could see her, it would be the only thing on his mind.
After subtly blowing him a kiss Nicki asked, “So, not that I mind you coming with us, but what bet exactly did my husband lose?”
“Funny you should ask,” Tyler Brown said, smirking smugly as he turned the car onto a main street. “We were at the mall, and needless to say, there were quite a few good looking girls there.”
Tyler mentally punched himself for letting him tell the story. Already he was making it sound bad. The thin ice he was on with Nicki did not need to be cracked any more than it was, and to make things worse, he had yet to apologize for the way he acted towards her the night before. As his friend continued the story, he prayed that she wouldn’t take any of it the wrong way.
“Some of them were checking me out, and some couldn’t take their eyes off of that goon. So I took it upon myself to propose a challenge.”
“Do I want to hear the rest of this?” Nicki asked skeptically, rubbing her thumb slowly across the back of Tyler’s hand.
“You asked, he’s not going to stop until he’s told you the entire thing,” he explained, giving her fingers a gentle squeeze.
“Damn right, Seggy knows what’s up. The challenge was this: One at a time we would wear his wedding ring and start talking to a girl. We had to flash it around, make sure she saw it on our finger. If she was still interested after seeing it, you walked away with a point. Obviously, I was the winner.”
“Oh, obviously,” Nicki quipped, evoking another laugh from his counterpart.
“Sorry to say it, but you married the wrong Tyler.”
“Seems that way, doesn’t it?” she asked, playing along.
For the rest of the car ride, Nicki went back and forth with his long time friend. It made him smile to see that they got along as well as they did, as Tyler didn’t always have an easy time getting along with their friends girlfriends. He got the feeling it had something to do with Nicki’s relaxed nature and easy going personality. Sometimes, she acted more like a guy than she did a girl. In a good way. And then he would look at her rack.
Just for the hell of it, he peeked back at her again, eyeing her full chest. If he didn’t know better, he would say it had gotten bigger. She caught him looking and shook her head, earning a goofy grin from him in return. He didn’t care if she saw him checking her out. He was her husband. As a husband, he had rights.
Unfortunately, such rights also had consequences. As they pulled into the parking lot of his old doctor’s office, he realized that the bulge in his pants was more than a little noticeable. After mouthing a va-voom at Nicki and watching her as she blushed and giggled, he tried to adjust himself so that he wouldn’t frighten everyone who looked at him.
“Ugh, God man. Can you control yourself for twenty minutes or is that just too much to ask?”
** * * * *
“I gotta say, that was the juiciest victory steak I’ve ever had,” Tyler Brown said, elbowing her Tyler in the chest.
“Enough of that shit, he’s fragile,” Nicki snapped, noticing too late that she had just cursed in front of a family of five. “Whoops.”
The boys laughed at her, the same way they’d been doing all night. They all took turns ganging up on each other, singling out a single person and making fun of them until they came back with something clever. It had taken Tyler a good amount of time to figure out she had been drinking all day, and that was part of the reason why she was being so fun.
It also didn’t hurt that he couldn’t seem to keep his hands off of her. Underneath the table, behind her back, he’d used any tactic he could to get a squeeze or a stroke in. His constant need to touch her was driving her wild and putting her on edge. She promised herself that she would never get out of shape again, as this was much too good to give up.
Now that they were back in the doctor’s office, he’d had to tone it down a notch, but that didn’t stop him from placing his hand on her knee. It was subtle enough that it wouldn’t seem strange to anyone who noticed, but the way his thumb moved in soft circles got the message across that she was on his mind in a big way.
Nicki sat back and half listened to whatever hockey discussion the boys had started in her silence. She couldn’t help but be a bit nervous about the test results she was waiting for. They had run two hours worth of strange examinations and taken a nauseating amount of blood, and the doctor didn’t seem too thrilled about any of it. He had been exceedingly nice, especially to Tyler, but his tentativeness over her tests frightened her. Through experience she’d found that when doctors react that way, they’re worried. And when doctors are worried, it usually isn’t a very good sign.
“Mrs. Seguin?”
Ripped from the confinements of her anxious mind, Nicki glanced up at the doctor who stood in front of her before nodding at Tyler, letting him know that he could let go of her knee.
“You want me to come with you?” he asked, grabbing her hand as she started to walk away.
“No, I should be fine.”
As soon as she said it, she regretted it. She didn’t have the slightest clue as to why she would decline his offer, because she wanted him there more than anything. She needed him there.
“Actually, I’m going to need the both of you,” the doctor said, in an alarmingly worrisome tone.
Tyler stood much too quickly, giving tell to his anxiety. After all they’d been through, he truly had every right to be worried. His arm wound tightly around her as they followed his childhood doctor into a small office, where they were each offered a seat. It seemed to physically pain him to let go of her, and he made sure that her hand was securely held in his as they awaited the results of her tests.
“I believe we’ve found the cause of your dizzy spells. It also explains the forgetfulness and the restless nights that you mentioned during the preliminary examination.”
He paused, and they waited in the deafening silence for him to continue. Nicki’s mind was racing, and she was having flashbacks to her teenage years, when she’d sat in a similar office and was told that her grandfather had stage four brain cancer, with only months to live. Although she doubted the possibility of something as severe as a brain tumor, there was something about the atmosphere in the room that told her it was a serious matter.
“I’m not sure how this will come to you,” he said slowly, looking down at the manila folder in front of him. “But your blood work came back quite conclusively. Mrs. Seguin, you’re pregnant.”
Tyler screamed in pain from the cramp forming in his calf. He knew the second he woke up it was because he didn’t bother with the protein shake he drank every night before bed. After grabbing his leg, he extended it slowly, trying to get the pain to subside. As a rookie, these cramps had been a nightly occurrence, and he’d learned how to deal with them rather efficiently.
Once he calmed down, he noted the empty half of the bed next to him, and remembered exactly why it was vacant. The Cup. They’d lost the Cup, and it was completely, one hundred percent his fault. He never should have tried to be aggressive. He should have just let the defense do their job. But no, some idiotic drive in him sent him chasing after the puck, willing to do anything to stop it from nearing Tuukka.
He turned over onto his other side and heard something crunch underneath him. One feel told him that it was a small piece of paper, and one look, even from a distance, told him Nicki had left it for him. Her precise, flawless handwriting was so distinguishable; he would know it anywhere. It took some effort to contort his body in such a way to turn on the lamp next to him, but he succeeded without toppling off of the bed.
As he held the note up to his face, a wave of guilt washed over him.
Tyler, I know you don’t want to talk to me right now, and you probably don’t really want to be around me, either. We don’t have to talk about what happened tonight. It never has to come up again if you don’t want it to. If you see this in the middle of the night, we’re going to Brampton tomorrow morning. I already bought the tickets and packed your bag. I’ll wake you up at eight. Candace is coming, too. My dad will look after Marshall. Listen babe, I don’t care about what happened out there. You are no less of a man to me than you were this morning. I love you just as much as I did before the game, and I’ll love you even more when I wake up tomorrow morning. Sweet dreams, love.
“Shit,” he muttered under his breath, grabbing his jaw where just twenty four hours ago, an unruly playoff beard grew.
There was simply only one choice for him to make. Tyler rolled off of the bed, placing the note on his nightstand. A sleepy yawn took over his face, and he stretched his arms high in the air, feeling the aching muscles in his back that had yet to be attended to.
On his way down the stairs, he had to grasp the railing to keep from falling down. His legs were rubbery underneath him, and he was weighed down by the grief of single handedly throwing away an entire season, not only for him, but for his team.
The moment Nicki’s head came into view over the armrest of the couch, some of his pain, both internal and external, began to ease away. He’d been so horrible to treat her the way he did, when all she wanted to do was help. Had their roles been reversed, he would have been infuriated with her.
The closer he got, the more of her became visible. Marshall was sleeping with her, his giant head resting on one of her thighs. The position she was in seemed uncomfortable at best, but she looked like she was sound asleep. Her silk bathrobe draped elegantly over her body, giving him small glimpses of decadent skin.
Tyler shook his head, disgusted with himself. It had been so easy for him to deny her, standing there in the middle of their room looking like she was straight out of a Playboy shoot. Not until now had it dawned on him how much effort she had most likely put into the display, and how much courage it took her to show her body off that way when she was so self conscious about it.
He knelt down next to the couch so that his face was in line with hers. Her long, heavy breaths indicated that she had drifted far into the unconscious, and he hoped she was dreaming of things far better than what she had experienced that night.
After shooing Marshall away, Tyler slid his arms under Nicki’s small frame and lifted her easily off of the couch. She stirred a bit in his arms before becoming limp again, her head falling perfectly into place on his shoulder.
It took a bit of concentration and a lot of extra strength to get them both up the stairs safely, and once he hit the landing he crept down the hallway and back into their room. The covers on his side of the bed were already pulled down, and in order to simplify things, he set Nicki down delicately in between the sheets. He knew that she slept on his side of the bed whenever he was gone, and figured she would be fine doing it even when he was home.
Tyler pulled the blankets up to her shoulders before climbing in on her side, already feeling comforted, just from her presence. His head dropped onto her pillow, and he blissfully inhaled the faint smell of her hair that had been left from previous nights. Everything about her was like a drug to him, but her scents; her shampoo, her body wash, her perfume, even her natural smell, they were inebriating. Every time he smelled anything remotely close to her, it set off a whirlwind of memories and warm, soothing thoughts.
Nicki groaned softly and flipped onto her side. There was no way in hell he was passing up the opportunity, and swiftly slid across the bed and pressed against her, molding his chest into her back and entwining his arms and legs with hers. She pushed back and curled up, completing his mission for him.
His head was spinning from the relief that was rushing over him. If he had only realized that he needed her six hours ago, the entire disaster could have been avoided and he wouldn’t have to prepare a long, sincere apology for the morning. Tyler was just waiting for the day when she grew tired of his pleas for forgiveness and walked out on him, but every time he thought it might happen, it didn’t. On the contrary, it normally made her even more loving. She could sense his distress, she always knew when he was upset or anxious.
He noticed a pattern that formed the more disagreements they got into. Or, more accurately, the fits that he threw and dragged her into. Whenever he would snap at her, she would leave sobbing, giving him just enough time to see what he’d done and feel terrible about it. Then she would saunter back to him, a bit timid and discouraged, and crawl into his arms while he told her over and over again how sorry he was.
So rarely had a fight been her fault, Tyler couldn’t even remember more than one specific occasion. He really needed to find another outlet for his frustrations; she didn’t deserve to be his punching bag.
The more time he spent wrapped around her, the more his guilt dissipated. Eventually, the heaviness returned to his eyelids, warning him that sleep was only seconds away. He nuzzled his face against Nicki’s, relishing in the sensation of her silky skin against his freshly shaved cheek. His lips made honest work, leaving kisses in all of her favorite spots.
Right before he fell asleep he whispered into her ear, professing the love that both kept him grounded, and sent him soaring.
** * * *
Hot breath on Nicki’s neck was the first thing she felt when she woke up.
“Ew, Marshall,” she groaned, “Way too close.”
She went to push his head away from her, which was when she noticed that the body behind her was much too large to be her dog. Her eyes peeled open, and the sight she was greeted with was not the one she had been expecting. Nicki was in her own bed, in her own room. Not on the couch in the living room where she had fallen asleep the previous night. The tattooed arm draped across her hinted that it was in fact her husband behind her, and not their pet.
As her eyes drooped shut again, she let out a soft sigh. There was no other way to explain how she had gotten in bed besides that Tyler had risen in the middle of the night, found her, and carried her up. It also didn’t surprise her that her bathrobe was nowhere in sight, and she could feel the soft caress of the sheets that clung to her bare skin, indicating he’d also removed what she wore underneath. A silent chuckle shook her slightly, and she shook her head at what he’d done. Typical Tyler.
Everything he had said to her last night was now completely irrelevant. Nicki knew it was an issue that she could never stay mad at him, no matter how heinous an act he committed. The moment she saw the innocent look on his face, the one he wore when he knew he’d hurt her, all was forgiven. She expected that face to make an entrance once he woke up, and a part of her looked forward to it. At least if she couldn’t be angry with him, he knew well enough to realize he screwed up.
Drawing in a deep breath, she pushed herself as far backwards as she could, adoring the way her warm skin meshed with his. On contact, it became evident that she wasn’t the only one lacking clothes. More often than not, he slept without them, which was perfectly okay with her. There was nothing quite like awaking in his warm embrace, made more comforting still by the lack of a barrier between their bodies. It was the single most natural experience she’d ever had, being naked with him. It was the way nature intended them to be, and she could see why. The power of human touch, especially by the one she loved, was inconceivable.
Behind her, Tyler moved around, and for a second Nicki thought he was about to roll away from her. She was fully prepared to follow him to the other side of the bed, not willing to give up the way she felt just yet. Luckily, once he settled, his arms wrapped more tightly around her, and his face landed on her cheek. Somehow, scruff had already begun to grow on his jaw again and it scraped against her like sandpaper. Instead of paying attention to the irritation, she relished in the familiarity of it and counted her blessings. As difficult a life she’d had, she couldn’t think of any karma strong enough to bring him to her, to make him fall in love with her, the way she had him. And he had absolutely no idea how amazing he was.
Carefully, Nicki raised a hand up to the side of his face, lying her palm flat on his cheek. The breath exiting his nose tickled her face; every single sensation was overwhelming, and she was experiencing each one individually. His bony knees tucked into the crevice formed by her curled legs, her feet entwined with his calves, his chest gently moving her back and forth with every precious breath he took. There was not a solitary thing about it that she didn’t treasure. She figured after so many years, eventually she would stop having these ridiculous, pathetic encounters every morning. But there she was, seconds away from pinching herself to make sure that she was truly living.
While she was lost in thought, she didn’t even notice when a larger hand eclipsed hers. Only when Tyler’s fingertips began to caress the smooth, sensitive skin on her stomach did she realize that he’d awoken. She was about to whisper a good morning before remembering how they’d left off last night. Just because he found it in himself to find her and bring her to bed didn’t imply that he wanted to talk.
Instead of greeting him to acknowledge his consciousness, Nicki brushed her fingers along the arm that was wrapped around her, inspiring it to squeeze her closely against Tyler’s body. It was as if they melted together, there was no point of separation. It was limbs entangled with limbs, warm skin against warm skin. Her eyelids closed involuntarily, letting her focus on nothing but his touch. He was so adoring, so affectionate and caring. He didn’t even need to apologize. His hand trailing gently across every inch of her skin said everything for him.
*** * * * *
Tyler couldn’t keep his hands off of her. The moment he woke up, the terror that had engulfed him while he slept and dreamt was instantly replaced with Nicki’s glowing warmth. The negativity that flowed through him like poison was slowly diluted with every second he spent holding her and feeling her small body curled up with his.
So maybe he had disappointed an entire city. So maybe he’d let down his team, the men who had been his family for the last eight years. And maybe he had nothing but an ounce of self confidence left in him. He knew that he was going to be okay, eventually. The only thing that would get him out of bed that morning was the nurturing, beautiful woman in front of him who somehow loved him even more when he was at his lowest. Knowing that she needed him, knowing that he was the only one she trusted to protect her and care for her, gave him the strength he needed to move forward. It wouldn’t happen today, it probably wouldn’t happen this week. But somewhere down the line, he would get over it. And it would all be thanks to her.
He wanted to tell her all of the things that were running through his mind. He wanted to show her that he needed her even more than she needed him. That her faith in him was sometimes the only thing that kept him going, fighting for the things he wanted most even when they seemed unattainable. She deserved to know all of that and more, but he couldn’t bring himself to say the words.
As an attempt to relay the suffocating, all consuming love he felt for her just then, he inched his hand slowly down her stomach, coming to a rest between her closed thighs. Tyler grasped the one on top, massaging his fingertips into her skin. Her lean, powerful muscles were tight and tensed, and he hoped it was from his touch and not from the stress he’d caused her the night before. A subtle moan came from in front of him, urging him to do what he so badly desired.
After a deep breath to prepare himself for what was to come, he drew in one of his legs and bent at the knee. With her thigh still clenched in his grip, he lifted her leg and placed it over his own, giving him the accessibility he needed to enter her. Another moan, louder this time, echoed through his head as he filled her. Her warmth, her softness, it all came crashing down on him at once, pushing away his lingering sense of failure. The only thing he cared about in that moment was Nicki, and being connected to her on the deepest, most intimate level.
Being with her that way, being the sole cause of her arching back and pleasured noises, returned an air of masculinity to him that he’d lost the second the buzzer sounded the previous night. However, it was about so much more than his renewed preeminence. It was about being close to the one person he loved more than anything, in a way that no one else could. She had her friends and family, she had even formed bonds with his friends and teammates. But not a single one of them could feel her the way he did, or be with her the way that he was. It was reserved solely for him.
His gentle, slow rocking clued her in to his motives. Nicki was so in tune with his emotions that even when he was trying to hide them from her, she still knew exactly what was going on inside of him. She never came out and said it, and Tyler guessed it was so that she wouldn’t risk making him feel insecure, or put him in a position where he felt the need to put up a wall to keep her out. She would do whatever it took to make him feel better, and in cases such as these, the best thing she could do was to stay quiet and let him do what he needed to do. He made a mental note to thank her for it later, to let her know how much he appreciated her respecting his feelings.
Tyler continued the way he was, every once in a while placing soft kisses across her shoulder and neck. Every time his lips hit her skin a shudder would shake her body, replenishing a bit of his pride. One of her little, delicate hands reached back to touch his cheek, and her caress was nearly too much for him. It was filled to the brim with love and affection and passion, so much so that his heart felt like it might burst at any moment.
As he neared the finish, he craned his neck so that he could gently press his lips to her face; her cheek, her ear, the side of her head, they were all fair game for his tender kiss. The hand that once held his face inched to the back of his head, sifting through the unruly tufts of hair at the nape of his neck. The sensation finally pushed him too far, and he poured out all of the pent up anger and frustration that threatened his wellbeing. It was not the first time, nor would it be the last, that being with her cured him of his tainted thoughts and self doubt.
Continuing to be the amazing, supportive wife that she was, Nicki did nothing but lower her thigh into its original position and push towards him, resting her back soothingly against his chest. Tyler held her closer than he ever had before, and only wished that he could bring her even nearer. He buried his face in her eternally messy hair and left a long, single kiss on her head. She knew how much it meant to him, how much she meant to him.
Tyler left his eyes open for another moment, attempting to judge what time it was based off of the sun’s placement in the sky. The subtle glow of the rising sun over the horizon signified he had at least a few more hours before they had to be up, and relieved sigh escaped his lips. He had a treacherous, difficult recovery ahead of him. But as long as Nicki stood indisputably by his side, he would make it back someday, stronger than he was before.
** * * * *
“Ty, sweetheart. Tyler. Baby. We gotta get going,” Nicki whispered, shaking his shoulder gently.
Tyler was out cold, and she could only imagine that it was due to the intensely emotional encounter they’d had earlier that morning. Not once since she’d known him had such a rawness radiated from him, not even the night they’d lost their son. Nicki didn’t quite understand, and she wasn’t about to try. Whatever he was feeling, there was no way around it. The only thing she could do was help him get over it, and that was exactly what she intended to do.
“Hon, I hate doing this to you, but you gotta wake up,” she said a bit louder, letting her lips fall to his soft, freshly shaved face.
His eyelids opened slowly, giving tell to just how far under he’d been. Nicki couldn’t stop the love struck grin that formed on her face when his soft brown irises looked up at her. There were so many emotions behind them, she couldn’t even decipher most of them. But the ever present love was burning bright, the one thing that kept her by him, even through the worst times she’d ever endured. It was enough to make her stay, no matter how miserable he acted, no matter how terribly he treated her.
She watched him as he yawned and stretched, and a small part of her was hoping he might have turned around. When she didn’t receive any kind of greeting from him, she accepted that making him feel better was going to be harder than it ever had been before. At least when she’d had a miscarriage, he hadn’t felt like it was entirely his fault. He had someone to point a finger at; he didn’t have to shoulder all of the guilt the way he did now.
Before he could lift himself out of bed, Nicki grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back down onto the mattress. He stared at her through his sad, beautiful eyes, waiting to hear the explanation as to why she wouldn’t let him leave. She brushed her fingers against his cheek, and felt a bit of pride when his eyelids fluttered shut for just a second.
“I love you, Ty. I promise being home is going to make you feel better. I know it will. You just have to give it a chance.”
Tyler attempted a smile, but it was a weak one at best. She left it at that, not feeling the need to press the issue any further. After a chaste kiss, Nicki rolled back to her side of the bed and got up. The dizziness hit her like a train. She felt herself falling and prayed that she would hit the bed instead of the floor if Tyler couldn’t get to her fast enough. Her arms stuck out in front of her, readying to break the fall if need be.
Luckily, she didn’t ever find out where she would land. Tyler’s stealth allowed him to bolt across the room and catch her before anything catastrophic happened.
“Jesus babe, what is going on with you?” he muttered, helping her get upright again.
Nicki took her time straightening out, appreciating his strong physique as he held her up. Although he wasn’t nearly as affectionate as normal, the concern was still plain in his voice. He rarely let his own problems cloud his love for her, and she was tremendously thankful for it.
“You need to see a doctor,” he said firmly, turning her around so that her face was against his chest. “I’m worried about you.”
She breathed in his familiar, musky scent and closed her eyes, hoping to regain her balance and settle the spinning in her head.
“I will, Ty. As soon as we get back from Brampton.”
He shook his head above her, and the motion of his chin roughed up her already messy hair.
“You’re going as soon as we get to Brampton. I’ll bring you to my old doctor.”
“Tyler, it’s – “
“I don’t wanna hear it,” he warned, pressing his lips to the top of her head. “I need to know you’re okay.”
Nicki let out a defeated sigh. “Alright, love.”
Tyler sighed himself and wrapped his arms tightly around her, pulling her into a warm, unexpected hug. He held her far longer than he normally did, and she wished he would just tell her what was on his mind; that he would let out all of the hurt and the pain and the regrets and let her help him. But she knew him far too well to expect anything of the sort, so she settled in and enjoyed the embrace while it lasted. She didn’t take it for granted, as he could easily still be ignoring her or snapping at her.
She easily could have spent the entire day there, but the doorbell ringing downstairs forced reality to set in.
“Must be Candace,” she murmured, perplexed as to why she would be ringing the doorbell when she had her own key.
Without saying anything, Tyler dropped his arms to his sides and let her go. Nicki foolishly lingered for a minute, thinking that maybe he would sweep her off of her feet with a kiss, or simply share an I love you. When none of those things happened, she turned her back to him and left, descending their wide staircase into the foyer.
As soon as she stepped into the open, airy room, she could see Candace peeking into the windows that surrounded the front door. She waved excitedly and Nicki waved back, feeling uplifted to know that at least someone was going to be enthusiastic about their trip.
“Hey sissy!” she exclaimed as she bounced through the doorway.
“Aw, Candace, you didn’t have to do that,” Nicki said, eyeing the tray of iced coffees she balanced between her hands. “We have coffee here.”
Candace set the tray down in the kitchen before flicking a hand in the air.
“Don’t worry, I used Ty’s name, got ‘em for free. That’s the best damn sponsorship I could ever think of.”
Nicki couldn’t help but giggle. Being around Candace always improved her mood; she was so bubbly and upbeat, it was difficult to be negative around her. It certainly helped that she had grown especially fond of Nicki over the years, and never missed a beat when it came to her and Tyler’s relationship. Whenever they were having a rough time, Candace was usually the first one on the scene, negotiating and trying to solve whatever problem had arisen.
After a few seconds of silence, Candace asked, “So how is he?”
“Honestly, I’m not really sure,” she said quietly, not wanting Tyler to hear her. “One second he’s nearly himself, the next he’s depressed and ignoring me. I mean I get
it, I do. I just hope it doesn’t last long. With all this shit we have going on…”
Candace flashed a sympathetic expression before throwing her arms around Nicki’s shoulders. Her strong perfume was enough to tickle her nose, but something about it was comforting. She had never had a sister, never known the kind of bond that she had with her sister-in-law. It was a feeling unlike any other.
“Why is my brother such a shit head?” she asked, laughing lightly.
“It’s nice to see you too,” a deep voice grumbled from behind her.
Nicki gave Candace another squeeze before letting her cross the room to Tyler, who was slouched over leaning against the doorway. He looked miserable, and like he hadn’t slept in weeks. Nicki knew better, remembering how he was passed out for a good portion of the night. There was a darkness in his eyes that she simply could not overlook. A darkness she hadn’t seen since the night she lost their child.
“Love you, bro,” she giggled, pulling him into a hug that he obviously didn’t want to be a part of.
“You want a coffee, hon?” Nicki asked, hoping maybe some caffeine would perk him up.
Tyler shrugged his shoulders, but didn’t give her an answer. She grabbed one from the tray anyways, stuck a straw in it, and brought it over to him. As he took it from her, Candace backed away. The tension in the room was thick and overpowering, and Nicki wasn’t quite sure how to alleviate it.
Candace clapped her hands together, drawing the attention of everyone in the room, including Marshall.
“Let’s get going! I took Brad’s old car, so we can just leave it at the airport. No point in making Nicki’s dad come and get us.”
She looked up at Tyler, who was currently staring off into space.
“You ready?”
He nodded his head, never once glancing in her direction.
“Alright, I’ll get the bags and meet you guys at the car.”
“Sounds go – “
“I brought them down already, they’re by the door,” Tyler said, cutting off a dismayed Candace mid-statement. She hated being interrupted.
“Stop being a douche, Ty,” she snapped.
Nicki waited for him to rebuff, and braced herself to see her husband in a way she only had a few other times. He was different with his sisters, he was meaner. She despised when he treated them badly, even when they provoked him. Seeing the man who was normally so sweet and gentle act so harshly made her stomach churn. It seemed unnatural. She knew that he could be violent and cruel on the ice, but when it carried over outside of the rink, it scared her.
Surprising both Candace and Nicki, Tyler remained silent. He left the kitchen and headed towards the foyer. After exchanging worried glances, the girls followed him.
“This is going to be one long trip,” Candace mumbled under her breath.
Nicki couldn’t help but nod. She was dreading the days to come.
*** * * * *
“Hi sweetie!” Jackie screeched, running across the front lawn and launching herself at Tyler. “Oh, I missed you so much! Why do you have to wait so long to come up here?”
Tyler muttered a quiet sorry and half heartedly hugged her back. As a hockey player herself, Jackie understood Tyler’s distancing. Nicki had never played, but being married to him had taught her the full weight of the Stanley Cup. He was spoiled. Both times he had been to the finals before, he’d emerged victorious. She imagined that only deepened his wounds.
“Hi Jackie,” Nicki said sweetly, accepting the motherly embrace that Jackie always offered. “How are you?”
“So much better now that the three of you are here. Boston is taking away all of my children.”
Although she was joking, Nicki could sense the sadness and the loneliness that accompanied Jackie’s statement. She had Jim, and she had Cassidy. But even Cassidy was going to be attending college in the fall, at her sister’s alma mater. A house that had once been full of children was now empty, and Nicki had to put herself in Jackie’s shoes. It was a sorrowful existence, for sure.
“Well why don’t you just move down there, too? We have plenty of room if you wanted to stay with us,” she offered.
“Oh, no, I couldn’t. Brampton is my home, honey. You are the sweetest thing,” Jackie cooed, placing an affectionate kiss on Nicki’s cheek.
“If you ever change your mind, you’re more than welcome at our place.”
Jackie laughed and finally let go of Nicki. “You know, it’s a good thing my son decided to marry someone so nice. Otherwise he would have a lot of apologizing to do.”
She laughed with her, glancing around to make sure Tyler was out of earshot. He was nowhere in sight, and she concluded he’d already gone inside.
“Jackie, I don’t know what to do with him,” she admitted, keeping her voice low just in case. “I’m afraid I’ll do or say something and set him off and make everything worse than it already is.”
After slinging an arm around her shoulder, Jackie led her towards the house.
“Don’t you worry about him, it’s something he has to get over on his own. You just keep being you, sweetie. He’ll come around. It only happened last night,” she reminded her kindly. A smile broke out on her face as she reached to open the front door. “Just hang out with the girls and I, let him do whatever he needs to do. We’ll have fun, I promise.”
Nicki smiled back at her. Jackie was right. Any time spent with Tyler’s family was always a time to remember. Just as she was about to step through the door, a massive frame rushed past them, nearly knocking Nicki backwards. Just as she was about to lose her footing, two hands gripped her waist.
“You okay?” Tyler asked, suddenly becoming gentle.
She nodded slowly, confused over what was happening, and why he was in such a hurry to leave.
“I’m going to meet up with Ty,” he explained.
Hearing him say that could not have been any more relieving. Tyler Brown was one of his best friends, and a great one at that. If anyone could cheer him up, it would be Tyler. He was constantly being shuffled between the AHL and the NHL, and knew the value of the Cup just as much as her Tyler did. They never failed to come back with a funny story and two equally goofy grins on their faces.
“Have fun,” she said softly, “And tell him I said hi.”
“I will,” he promised, catching her off guard with a loving kiss.
His lips moved slowly with hers, taking their sweet time and sending a shiver from her head to her toes. When the breath from his nose bounced off of her face, Nicki realized that she hadn’t been breathing, and sucked in as much air as she could while trying not to ruin his kiss. Her hands snaked up his chest to his shoulders, inspiring him to tangle his fingers through her hair, pulling her head just a bit closer to his.
A part of her wished that he would never stop kissing her, that they could forever stay where they stood, never having to split from one another. Disappointment consumed her as he removed his lips, but was quickly replaced with relief as they whispered a soft I love you into her ear.
She watched, dumbfounded, as he sprinted across the lawn and disappeared into Jackie’s huge SUV. Not until he sped down the street and completely out of sight did she attempt to move. There had been very few times in her life that she’d been so taken aback by a kiss, or by three simple words. A hand on her back made her jump, and she spun around to see whose it was.
“I don’t know if I should be proud or jealous,” Jackie joked, rubbing small circles across her back. “Whatever happens, there’s no denying that boy loves you.”
For a reason unbeknownst to her, Nicki leaned against her mother-in-law, resting her head on her shoulder and accepting her comforting offer.
“I just want him to be happy,” she murmured, feeling the sting of her own words.
It was frightening how much she would sacrifice just to see a smile on his face.
** * * * *
Nicki, Cassidy, and Jackie all giggled harmoniously as Candace animatedly made her way towards them, with a huge platter of drinks and snacks balanced in the palm of her hand. They were already a couple of drinks in each, and with every sip the mood had lightened more and more.
“What’d you bring us this time?” Nicki asked, curious as to what kind of drinks she had concocted.
“I call it…” Candace hesitated, and they all waited patiently for her to share the name. “Ah, fuck, I don’t know what it’s called, I just threw a bunch of shit together.”
Another round of laughter accompanied her brutal honesty, and they each accepted a martini glass filled to the brim with a purplish liquid from the stainless steel tray.
“Jackie, can you come here for a minute?” Jim shouted from somewhere inside of the house.
She groaned, earning a few more giggles from the group. “Coming!” she screamed back, cursing under her breath as she lifted herself out of the chair she was in. “Nobody touch me drink.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Candace said, giving her a salute as she made her way towards the house. “She’s so plastered.”
Nicki watched Jackie as she stumbled and swerved across the grass, and had to agree.
“Before she comes back,” Cassidy started, “I have to ask you something.”
“Me?” Candace asked skeptically.
“No, Nicki,” she answered hurriedly. Cassidy didn’t give her the chance to accept. “So you know I’m going to BU in the fall. And mom is having a really hard time with the payments.”
“So you want me to talk to Ty?”
“Will the two of you shut up for five seconds?!” Cassidy screamed, looking guilty for yelling the moment the words left her mouth. Nicki and Candace did as she asked and sat quietly, waiting for her to continue. “I’m sorry I freaked. This isn’t exactly easy to say. I don’t want to depend on Ty for everything. I want to pay for it myself. Just… promise you’ll hear me out okay?”
“I promise,” Nicki said, crossing her heart for emphasis.
“I was thinking, maybe I could live with you guys instead of at school, cause you know that would basically cut the cost in half.”
“I’ll have to talk to Ty about it, but I’m sure that would be fine. Actually, it might work out for all of us, if you’re willing to babysit.”
Once she considered how mutually beneficial that situation could be, Nicki was perfectly okay with the idea of Cassidy living with them. It would be nice to have someone to keep her company while Tyler was away, especially if he was right about them possibly remaining childless for quite some time.
Cassidy stared at her, and Nicki knew that she was missing something.
“What is it, Cass?”
“Well… Say I did move in with you. I still need a job to pay for school, and I can’t think of anything that would pay enough and still give me time to focus on studying.”
Nicki understood exactly where she was coming from. It hadn’t been so long since she’d been in school, and she remembered quite clearly the financial struggles that had diseased her before she met Tyler.
“Come on, Cassidy. You know Tyler would have no problem helping you out,” she said, “He basically paid for all of my tuition. And technically, my rent too. If anything he’d do it to take the burden off of your mom, after all she’s done for him.”
“It’s not the same,” Cassidy retorted. “I don’t want to be that girl who mooches off of her rich brother her whole life.”
“It’s not mooching – “
Before Nicki could finish her sentence, Cassidy jumped in again, speaking at lightening fast speed.
“I know you guys need a surrogate and I want do it,” she blurted out.
She sat back in her chair, shocked.
“What did you just say?”
“Cassidy, hey, slow down,” Candace said, rising from her seat to join her sister. “That’s an awfully big offer to be making.”
Cassidy ignored her completely. “Nicki, think about it. It’s perfect. I did some research online, and I know the hardest part about the whole process is finding a surrogate you can trust. And the hardest part for the surrogate is letting the baby go once it’s born. You guys know you can trust me, and if I got attached, well, it’s going to be my niece or nephew. If I’m living with you, I’ll see it all the time. You can pay me whatever you’d pay someone else to do it, or less for all I care. I can take the year off, do this for you, and go back to school with enough money to stay until I get my Masters.”
“You realize that even if I was okay with this, Ty and your mother would never go along with it. You’re only eighteen, Cass, you can’t be pregnant,” Nicki said, trying to remind her that pregnancy wasn’t something to look forward to, especially when you’re young and fit. “What if you meet a boy? Things would get so complicated. I don’t want to see you go through that.”
In the blink of an eye, Cassidy had rocketed out of her chair and on to Nicki’s, almost sitting in her lap.
“Please, please, please Nicki just do this for me. I know it sounds crazy. But you have no idea how much thought I’ve put into this. I want to pay for college, and I want to help my brother. It’s a win-win, for all of us.”
She was trying to figure out how to respond when her phone buzzed on the table next to her. Nicki reached for it, glad to have a momentary distraction.
Ty: 14:24:59: Coming back at 4 to bring u to the dr. Dinner after?
For a minute, she forgot about the pandemonium going on around her.
“Jesus would you stop smexting over there? You’re making me sick.”
Nicki’s head shot up to glare at Candace. “[i]What[/i] did you just say?!”
“Smexting,” she explained. “Smile texting. When you smile like an idiot because of a text. Please tell me it’s Tyler and he’s no longer being a piece of shit?”
She laughed and shook her off before glancing back down at her phone. So maybe she was smiling like an idiot. At least he could still make her do that, even after all of the time they’d been together.
Dinner sounds great. Having fun with Tyler?
After the Delivered showed up underneath the message she sent, Nicki directed her attention back to Cassidy.
“Because I love you so much, I will put some thought into it,” she said hesitantly, not sure if what she was doing was right. “Let me sleep on it and talk to Tyler. I don’t see any reason to bring this up with your mom until we’ve made a decision.”
A tiny pair of arms wrapped around her neck, nearly suffocating her. Nicki laughed and hugged her back.
“I can’t thank you enough,” Cassidy muttered. “I know it’s weird. But the more I thought about it the more I realized how good it could be, for all of us. I think you’ll realize it, too.”
“We’ll see, Cass.”
** * * *
“As fun as this has been, I should probably go in and get ready,” Nicki said, having a bit of difficulty getting out of her chair.
After Cassidy’s proposal, she was left feeling a bit overwhelmed, and the strong mixed drink by her side seemed like a good idea. At the time. Now, it was 3:45, and she was supposed to be making an appearance before a doctor in less than twenty minutes.
“Hope they don’t run a blood alcohol test,” Candace teased. “He’s probably going to think you’re an alcoholic.”
“Shut up,” she garbled, throwing a stray flip flop in Candace’s direction.
Jackie’s unusual laugh rang through her ears as Candace glared at her, letting everyone know how much she didn’t appreciate having a rubber shoe thrown at her.
“Good luck at the doctor, sweetie. He’s very kind, he’s known Tyler since he was born.”
“Thanks, Jackie.”
As Nicki stepped off of the patio that surrounded the pool and back onto the soft, damp grass, Jackie added, “And good luck with dinner. I hope Ty got him to come around. Those boys have something... special.”
Laughter had been a constant theme throughout the afternoon, but not once had there been such hysterics as when Jackie mentioned the Tylers. They had something special, alright. There had been times where Nicki found herself wondering whether there might be something her Tyler wasn’t telling her. If he was secretly gay, she thought she had a right to know.
She shook her head as she made her way to the house, recalling the few memories she had with Tyler Brown. She had gone fishing with them once, and it had been a total disaster. Not only had Nicki accidentally hooked a turtle through its eye and had a complete and utter mental breakdown over it, the boys had been too busy with each other to notice her falling out of the boat and onto a sharp rock. The soft pink scar that ran the length of her foot reminded her constantly of the pain she’d been in, and how funny they thought it was afterwards. Nicki never found it in herself to see it as humorous.
Out of curiosity, she glanced down at her left foot midstride, trying to picture in her mind how it had looked last time she saw it. The second she got a glimpse of it, she barreled into something solid and heard bellowing laughter fill the room.
“Babe what the fuck are you doing?” Tyler chuckled, wrapping his arms securely around her and placing a firm kiss atop her head.
“I was… never mind,” she said, still flustered from hitting him so hard. “How was Tyler?”
“He’s good. Sorry I never answered your text, it totally slipped my mind.”
“That’s okay,” Nicki murmured, suddenly overcome by how nice it felt to be pressed against him. His soft, worn tee shirt was soothing against her burned skin, and whenever she made direct contact with his skin, tingles shot across her exterior. It hurt her, but she added, “I really need to get dressed, love.”
“Alright, I gotta talk to my mom anyways,” he said, running a hand down the length of her hair before releasing her from his arms.
When she tried to step around him, she found herself back in his embrace, and couldn’t think of one reason why it was a bad thing. Nicki sighed when he let her go only seconds after, and cocked her head as she took in the expression on Tyler’s face. It looked like a hybrid of pain and desire, and she hoped that it was for her.
“Nicki, you look amazing,” he pointed out, running his hands down her sides and across her bare stomach. “Look at those abs!”
For the first time in ages, she felt all of the blood in her body rush to her cheeks. She let out a nervous giggle and watched his hands explore her newly toned body.
“You have yourself to thank for that. Brian has been absolutely fantastic. I can’t thank you enough for getting him to help me.”
“He’s a trainer, it’s his job to get people in shape. All I had to do was mention it and he was totally on board. I’ll have to do something to thank him,” Tyler said playfully, giving her a subtle wink.
At a loss for what to say, Nicki simply stood where she was and watched Tyler drink every ounce of her in. When his eyes finished scanning her, he bent slowly at the knees, leaving a trail of intimate kisses from her neck all the way down to her thighs. His lips brushed against her bikini bottom, and her fingers involuntarily gripped his hair, as if they didn’t know that this couldn’t possibly be happening here, in the middle of her mother-in-law’s kitchen.
Once he was finished torturing her, Tyler slid back up her body, never letting his soft lips leave her sensitive skin. He placed tiny pecks up her neck, until he reached her ear.
“Are you showering?” he whispered, turning her legs to jelly underneath her.
“I planned on it,” she responded, almost tripping over her words.
“I’ll be up in five.”
** * * * *
“What the hell took you so long?!”
Tyler jumped at the sound of his friend’s voice, who until then, he had completely forgotten was still sitting in his mother’s idling car.
“Oh, hey Tyler,” Nicki said, sounding a little confused.
“How are ya?” he asked from the passenger seat.
“Uh, I’m good, thanks. Am I missing something?”
“Dude you totally forgot to ask her, didn’t you,” Tyler Brown said accusingly.
Tyler let out a long sigh as he buckled his seatbelt. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I got distracted.” He twisted his neck to look at Nicki in the backseat, who seemed like she was beginning to figure out what was going on. “Is it okay if he comes with us? I lost a bet and I owe him a steak.”
Her face broke out into a smile, and he continued to look at her as he put the car in reverse and pressed his foot to the gas.
“Jesus fucking Christ man are you trying to kill us?!”
It took another moment for him to realize that he was not in reverse, but in drive, and was feet away from plowing through his garage doors. Nicki was giggling uncontrollably in the back, and he had no doubt it was from all of the times he had made fun of her for doing the exact same thing. Luckily, she knew Tyler Brown well enough to keep her mouth shut about it until they were alone, as he would surely never hear the end of it if it came up.
“Here,” he said, lifting himself out of the passenger seat and landing uncomfortably in Tyler’s lap. “Let me drive, so you can stare at your lady without ending all three of our lives.”
“Dude get off of me!” Tyler shouted, trying to push him back into his seat. “You’re crushing my balls!”
Behind them, Tyler heard his wife break out into hysterics. It had been a long, long time since he’d heard her laugh that much. The desire to see her glowing face and to watch as she squinted her eyes to keep the tears from falling was the only thing that drove him to slip out from underneath his bulky friend and into the passenger seat.
“You suck, bro.”
“Oh! I’m the one that sucks?! Pretty sure if I sucked, you wouldn’t be buying me a steak right now and ruining what could have been a lovely, romantic dinner.”
Before Tyler could think of a worthy response, Nicki stepped in.
“Stop it, Tyler. I’m sure the two of you will still have a very romantic evening.”
Both of them let out a chuckle and stuck their hands behind them for a high five. Nicki slapped each of them enthusiastically, grabbing Tyler’s and holding on to it when he tried to take it back. He complied, figuring if she wanted to stroke and caress and massage his overly sensitive skin that it was just fine with him. He glanced down at their entwined hands before looking up at her, almost forgetting to breathe when she flashed her sweetest smile. It was a smile that only came around post sex, and it was one he always looked forward to seeing. It reflected all of the satisfaction and love and contentment that he knew the both of them felt that very moment.
Tyler had no shame in staring at her, raking his eyes over every inch of her beautiful body. He tried to picture her without her clothes, the way she had been only ten minutes ago. When he did, he saw her bent over in front of him in the shower, and his hands gripping her firm sides as he ruthlessly pushed himself into her. Seeing her back in her old body, with her defined muscles and tight skin, had turned him animalistic. There were few things he wouldn’t do to strip her down again that night and take advantage of her. It became evident quite quickly that as long as she was with him, and as long as he could see her, it would be the only thing on his mind.
After subtly blowing him a kiss Nicki asked, “So, not that I mind you coming with us, but what bet exactly did my husband lose?”
“Funny you should ask,” Tyler Brown said, smirking smugly as he turned the car onto a main street. “We were at the mall, and needless to say, there were quite a few good looking girls there.”
Tyler mentally punched himself for letting him tell the story. Already he was making it sound bad. The thin ice he was on with Nicki did not need to be cracked any more than it was, and to make things worse, he had yet to apologize for the way he acted towards her the night before. As his friend continued the story, he prayed that she wouldn’t take any of it the wrong way.
“Some of them were checking me out, and some couldn’t take their eyes off of that goon. So I took it upon myself to propose a challenge.”
“Do I want to hear the rest of this?” Nicki asked skeptically, rubbing her thumb slowly across the back of Tyler’s hand.
“You asked, he’s not going to stop until he’s told you the entire thing,” he explained, giving her fingers a gentle squeeze.
“Damn right, Seggy knows what’s up. The challenge was this: One at a time we would wear his wedding ring and start talking to a girl. We had to flash it around, make sure she saw it on our finger. If she was still interested after seeing it, you walked away with a point. Obviously, I was the winner.”
“Oh, obviously,” Nicki quipped, evoking another laugh from his counterpart.
“Sorry to say it, but you married the wrong Tyler.”
“Seems that way, doesn’t it?” she asked, playing along.
For the rest of the car ride, Nicki went back and forth with his long time friend. It made him smile to see that they got along as well as they did, as Tyler didn’t always have an easy time getting along with their friends girlfriends. He got the feeling it had something to do with Nicki’s relaxed nature and easy going personality. Sometimes, she acted more like a guy than she did a girl. In a good way. And then he would look at her rack.
Just for the hell of it, he peeked back at her again, eyeing her full chest. If he didn’t know better, he would say it had gotten bigger. She caught him looking and shook her head, earning a goofy grin from him in return. He didn’t care if she saw him checking her out. He was her husband. As a husband, he had rights.
Unfortunately, such rights also had consequences. As they pulled into the parking lot of his old doctor’s office, he realized that the bulge in his pants was more than a little noticeable. After mouthing a va-voom at Nicki and watching her as she blushed and giggled, he tried to adjust himself so that he wouldn’t frighten everyone who looked at him.
“Ugh, God man. Can you control yourself for twenty minutes or is that just too much to ask?”
** * * * *
“I gotta say, that was the juiciest victory steak I’ve ever had,” Tyler Brown said, elbowing her Tyler in the chest.
“Enough of that shit, he’s fragile,” Nicki snapped, noticing too late that she had just cursed in front of a family of five. “Whoops.”
The boys laughed at her, the same way they’d been doing all night. They all took turns ganging up on each other, singling out a single person and making fun of them until they came back with something clever. It had taken Tyler a good amount of time to figure out she had been drinking all day, and that was part of the reason why she was being so fun.
It also didn’t hurt that he couldn’t seem to keep his hands off of her. Underneath the table, behind her back, he’d used any tactic he could to get a squeeze or a stroke in. His constant need to touch her was driving her wild and putting her on edge. She promised herself that she would never get out of shape again, as this was much too good to give up.
Now that they were back in the doctor’s office, he’d had to tone it down a notch, but that didn’t stop him from placing his hand on her knee. It was subtle enough that it wouldn’t seem strange to anyone who noticed, but the way his thumb moved in soft circles got the message across that she was on his mind in a big way.
Nicki sat back and half listened to whatever hockey discussion the boys had started in her silence. She couldn’t help but be a bit nervous about the test results she was waiting for. They had run two hours worth of strange examinations and taken a nauseating amount of blood, and the doctor didn’t seem too thrilled about any of it. He had been exceedingly nice, especially to Tyler, but his tentativeness over her tests frightened her. Through experience she’d found that when doctors react that way, they’re worried. And when doctors are worried, it usually isn’t a very good sign.
“Mrs. Seguin?”
Ripped from the confinements of her anxious mind, Nicki glanced up at the doctor who stood in front of her before nodding at Tyler, letting him know that he could let go of her knee.
“You want me to come with you?” he asked, grabbing her hand as she started to walk away.
“No, I should be fine.”
As soon as she said it, she regretted it. She didn’t have the slightest clue as to why she would decline his offer, because she wanted him there more than anything. She needed him there.
“Actually, I’m going to need the both of you,” the doctor said, in an alarmingly worrisome tone.
Tyler stood much too quickly, giving tell to his anxiety. After all they’d been through, he truly had every right to be worried. His arm wound tightly around her as they followed his childhood doctor into a small office, where they were each offered a seat. It seemed to physically pain him to let go of her, and he made sure that her hand was securely held in his as they awaited the results of her tests.
“I believe we’ve found the cause of your dizzy spells. It also explains the forgetfulness and the restless nights that you mentioned during the preliminary examination.”
He paused, and they waited in the deafening silence for him to continue. Nicki’s mind was racing, and she was having flashbacks to her teenage years, when she’d sat in a similar office and was told that her grandfather had stage four brain cancer, with only months to live. Although she doubted the possibility of something as severe as a brain tumor, there was something about the atmosphere in the room that told her it was a serious matter.
“I’m not sure how this will come to you,” he said slowly, looking down at the manila folder in front of him. “But your blood work came back quite conclusively. Mrs. Seguin, you’re pregnant.”
Notes
---------------Hi everyone! I’m sorry it took me an extra day to update, my computer has some kind of virus that won’t let me get on the internet. You wouldn’t believe the crap I went through trying to get this chapter up, so I really hope you enjoyed it! Thank you so much for being patient with me and sticking with the story! Have a lovely week!!
Update soon!!!!! Love this story!!!!!
11/14/15