White Orchids
Reparation
After dropping his duffel bag carelessly to the ground, Tyler dragged his exhausted body up the stairs, already in pursuit of a massage. He’d slept great the night before, even with Marshall between him and Nicki. His mind had been wiped clean of worry, and filled with hope and excitement. He wasn’t expecting Nicki to be open to the idea of adopting this boy, especially after everything they’d been through that weekend. Of course it concerned her that they didn’t know the first thing about him, not even his name, but Tyler remained optimistic. What if they ended up with two girls? As much as he wanted one, it would have been a little disappointing not to have a boy, who could someday follow in his footsteps.
He made it up the staircase with a great deal of struggle, and the moment he hit the landing a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. Nicki’s voice was traveling down the hallway, giving away that she was both in the nursery and singing merrily. Even though she’d promised to sing for him more, she hadn’t held up on it, so he resorted to sneaking up on her when she didn’t know he was home.
This time, however, the second he walked through the doorway, she recognized his presence. One glance around told him that she’d finished the room, and done an amazing job.
“Hi baby!” she squealed, throwing herself into his arms.
Tyler laughed and held her, remembering exactly why it was so hard for him to leave every morning. Not one day went by that she wasn’t enthralled to see him when he came home. The soft material of his old shirt she was wearing soothed his skin, which had gotten badly burned during an outside session that morning. Although he loved being outdoors and running drills, his fair skin did not take kindly to the harsh summer sun.
“Are you listening to Taylor Swift?” he asked, recalling her distaste for country music.
Instead of answering him, she tossed her arms over his shoulders and began to swing her hips.
“Hey Tyler, I’ve been holding back this feeling so I got some things to say to you. I’ve seen it all so I thought, but I never seen nobody shine the way you do. The way you walk, way you talk, way you say my name, it’s beautiful, wonderful, don’t you ever change. Hey Tyler why are people always leaving I think you and I should stay the same. Cause I can’t help it if you look like an angel, can’t help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain so, come feel this magic I been feeling since I met you, cant help it if there’s no one else, mmm I can’t help myself”
The entire time she sang, Tyler couldn’t stop grinning. He chuckled as she moved her head to the music, playfully imitating all of the musicians he’d seen on TV and in music videos. She would have kept going, had he not cut her off with a kiss. He attempted to lift her, forgetting momentarily about his weakened state. Ending up on his butt on the hardwood floor, they both burst into laughter, Nicki with her legs halfway entwined around his waist. When he tried to explain what had happened, her lips crashed onto his, barely allowing him the opportunity to breathe.
His fingers slid into her hair and hers traced his jawline, pulling him into one of the most enticing kisses he’d ever received. Her legs tightened around him, drawing their bodies closer than should be physically possible. Tyler could ignore all of the aches and pains that threatened to destroy him at any second, as long as he was attached to her in some way. His already sore butt should not have been able to withstand the hard floor, but he was numb to all feeling besides Nick’s lips against his.
To his dissatisfaction, she leaned back, pulling her head away from him. Just as he was about to grab her and bring her back, she doubled over, reaching for something behind him. When the song that was playing changed, he pieced together that she was searching for her iPod. The music flowed through his ears; it was a song he recognized well. By the way she was looking at him, with round, hopeful eyes, he knew exactly what she wanted.
Wordlessly he helped her up, his stiff muscles giving him hell for moving around so much. He ignored them and took one of her hands, while placing the other on her waist. Tyler stepped back and fell into a dance with ease, sparking a brief, enormous smile on Nicki’s face. Feeling the need to have her closer, he pulled her to his chest, to which she happily complied.
“I used to listen to this all the time when we first met,” she said softly.
He looked down at her; he felt the emotion in her words. This song meant a lot to her, it was obvious by how many times she’d played it. But never had she admitted to a time period when she listened to it. Suddenly, he found himself wishing he’d paid more attention to the lyrics. They were the most important part of a song to her, and he’d learned the hard way that the best way to tell what was on her mind was to pay attention to the music she was listening to.
“Will you sing it?” he asked, the tone of his voice matching hers in both quietness and feeling.
She nodded slightly, and they both waited out the music for the lyrics to begin.
”Is this the end of the moment, or just a beautiful unfolding of a love that will never be,
Or maybe be everything that I never thought could happen,
Or ever come to pass and I wonder if maybe, maybe I could be all you ever dreamed.
Cause you are beautiful inside, so lovely and I can’t see why I’d do anything without you, you are
And when I’m not with you, I know that it’s true that I’d rather be anywhere but here without you.
Is this a natural feeling? Or is it just me bleeding all my thoughts and dreams in hope that you will be with me,
Or is this a moment to remember, or just a cold day in December,
I wonder if maybe, oh maybe I could be, all you ever dreamed,
Cause you are, you’re beautiful inside, so lovely and I can’t see why I’d do anything without you, you are
And when I’m not with you I know that it’s true, that I’d rather be anywhere but here without you.”
Tyler dipped his head closer to her mouth, so that he could hear every word. Her voice was as smooth as honey against the sound blaring out of the speakers, and on more than one occasion sent a chill through his body. Regardless of the shivers that cursed him, he felt warm, inside and out. To know that she might have felt that way about him all that time ago, when he was too busy with his partying to give her a shot, absolutely killed him. For the short few months that he’d dubbed her as a friend and nothing more, he’d wasted an opportunity to have even more time with the woman he was meant to spend his life with. Given the chance to go back, he would have done it differently one thousand times over.
Although he would have gladly danced with her through the rest of the night, when the song came to an end, so did their moment. Nicki stayed clung to him a little longer, with her face buried in his chest. He lowered his chin and placed a small kiss on the top of her head, inspiring her arms to wrap firmly around his waist.
“You know we haven’t done that since our wedding,” she murmured, not even bothering to look up when she spoke to him.
“Maybe it’s something we should do more, then.”
The way he was feeling, he would have enjoyed dancing with her every day until the earth stopped spinning. It was something he would never have believed that he’d like to do, never mind something that he sometimes craved. He concluded it had more to do with the emotion and the closeness he could feel to her, especially through her music, rather than the actual act that he loved. It was a side of her that was soft and loving and vulnerable, just as she’d been when they met.
She nodded, eventually backing away from him and wiping a few, barely noticeable tears from her cheeks.
“So what do you think of the room?” she asked, sounding quiet and raspier than normal.
Tyler stepped forward and hung an arm across her shoulders, not wanting to be away from her, even for a second.
“It’s awesome, babe. You’re right, you did make lavender look gender neutral.”
“Thanks, love. Now comes the hard part.”
He glanced down at her, trying to figure out which part exactly she was speaking of.
“Having two kids?”
Nicki met his gaze, searching for something he wasn’t sure of. The tiniest hint of a smile warmed up her face and she shook her head.
“No. Waiting,” she said, placing her hands gently over her stomach.
“I’m with you on that one.”
They stood there a while longer, taking in the room around them in silence. He looked over the matching cribs, the changing table that Nicki had spent weeks searching for, and the rocking chair that had been equally difficult to find. He realized just how much they were getting their hopes up, and how devastating it would be to come in this room if the worst happened. It would be a constant reminder of what was sure to be life’s greatest letdown. Choosing not to think about it, he blocked out the negative thoughts and focused on the positive, like his ever growing wife. Every morning he checked her stomach, waiting for the excitement to come rolling in at the first feel of a bump.
“So.”
His stomach dropped a bit every time Nicki said the word “so”. She only began a sentence that way when she was about to drop something on him that she knew he might not react well to. Her hesitation clued him in, and he guessed it was probably bad, judging by the length of time she was taking to finish her statement.
“So?” he mimicked, trying to move her along.
“Freddy called me today.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
After another minute of uncomfortable silence he asked, “What did he want?”
“He said he missed me, he wants to take me out to lunch sometime.”
When she failed to mention anything about Tyler being included in those plans, his fear was confirmed. Freddy still hated his guts. They’d only spoken twice since that day at the hospital, both times out of necessity rather than companionship. He wanted to fix things, but he didn’t have the slightest clue as to how. He had never been one for apologies, and Freddy had always been one to hold a grudge.
“Ty, he doesn’t even know that I’m pregnant.”
Her words stung him, worse than he expected them to. His best friend, the one who had helped him through so much, the one he had to thank for the best thing that had ever happened to him, was so out of touch he didn’t even know that he was expecting children. After everything that had occurred, Freddy deserved to be one of the first to know. Chances were, he had no idea that Tyler was nearly shipped off to Calgary, either.
“Well, did you tell him?”
“Not exactly,” she muttered. It was obvious there was something she was keeping from him.
“What does that mean?”
“I invited him and Evy over for dinner.”
“When?” he asked, already sure that he knew the answer.
“Tonight…?”
The innocence on Nicki’s face made it impossible to be unhappy with her. It wasn’t like she was trying to stir trouble. She was trying to repair the relationship that he was too proud and too afraid to fix himself.
“And he agreed to that?”
Her eyes left his and darted to the floor. “I told him you wanted to talk.”
He nodded slowly. He’d been expecting her to say something like that. As much as he dreaded the confrontation that was sure to take place, he was thankful. This would never have happened if she hadn’t intervened, and he might have sacrificed a lifelong friendship. Now he just had to figure out what he was going to say.
“Sweetie I’m sorry, I can’t take this anymore. I miss them. And I know you do too. If neither of you are going to man up, then I’m not giving you a choice.”
“You got Evaline in on this too, didn’t you?” he asked, knowing the both of them much too well to think anything else.
“What did you want us to do Ty?! We miss all the time we used to spend together! And now that Declan’s calmed down, we can finally do things with them again. It’s not the same when it’s just me and her.”
“Hey,” he cooed, “Don’t get all worked up. It’s okay, I get it.”
“You do?”
“You don’t think I miss the way things were? Don’t get me wrong, tonight is probably going to be a shit show, but if I can say the right things, maybe he’ll put it behind him.”
“Oh. Okay, good,” she sighed.
Tyler smiled and pulled her into another hug. She was the sweetest person he’d ever met. There was no way in heaven or hell that he deserved even an ounce of her. After hearing her say those things, he was feeling a little guilty for holding out on his friendship with Freddy. He’d never given thought to what it might be doing to the girls.
“How long do we have?”
Nicki grabbed the wrist he wore his watch on and tilted her head to get a straight view of it.
“Two and a half hours until I have to start cooking.”
“Is that enough time for a massage?”
Wriggling out of his arms, she giggled and nodded her head towards their bedroom.
“Come on, stud.”
** * * *
“How does a massage always turn into sex?” Tyler inquired as Nicki curled up by his side and rested her head on his still heaving chest.
“You make that sound like it’s a bad thing,” she mumbled, already half asleep on top of him. “And to answer your question, you know what happens when one of us isn’t wearing clothes.”
He laughed, accidentally shaking her head up and down. It went without saying that if one of them was bare, the other was soon to follow.
“It feels kind of weird,” he admitted, playing with a strand of her hair. “Do you ever feel like I’m defiling our babies? What if their faces are like – “
“Stop it Ty!” she shrieked, giggling as she slapped him on the chest. “That’s so disturbing. It’s fine. Why do you even need to think about it?”
“How can I not?”
“Fine, we don’t have to have sex.”
He pulled her unnecessarily close to him, shaking his head fervently.
“Please, no,” he begged, half teasing. “We both know you wouldn’t even last a day. And you’re so sexy when you’re carrying my children.”
Nicki burst into laughter, even letting a small, adorable snort slip out.
“That certainly doesn’t sound very sexy.”
“Well believe me, it is,” he said, dragging his fingers softly across her shoulder.
“Mmm, that feels nice,” she sighed. “You’re making it really hard to get up and cook ya know.”
“What are you making?”
“I was just gonna make spaghetti and meatballs, use your mother’s recipe.”
“My mom gave you that recipe?” he asked.
“Yeah, you don’t remember? That was part of her wedding present to us. Ty, I’ve used it like twenty times since then.”
“I guess I just thought you got really good at making sauce,” he admitted, earning some entertained laughter from Nicki. “I’ve never seen her give that recipe to anyone.”
Nicki shrugged and snuggled closer to him, inspiring his eyes to flicker shut. He recalled an incident not too long ago where his aunt begged his mother for the recipe Nicki was talking about.
They fought and fought over it, and his mother made it quite clear that it was only to be passed down from mother to oldest daughter, the way it had for her and her mother and her grandmother. Apparently, his wife qualified just as much as a daughter to her as his sisters did.
Thinking about his family sparked a question that had been looming over him the entire weekend, that he kept forgetting to ask her.
“So when’s Cass moving in?”
She placed a gentle kiss on his chest before propping herself up on her elbows. Tyler was mesmerized by her hair, her soft waves draping every which way over her back and shoulders.
He couldn’t help but run a hand through it, to feel the impossibly soft strands between his fingers. A loud moan came from her, and a chuckle from him. Sometimes he forgot how sensitive she could be after sex, especially when he touched her hair and head.
“A couple of days I think,” she answered with her eyes closed, leaning into his touch. “I told her it didn’t matter, that we’re ready for her whenever she’s ready to come. Is that okay?”
He nodded and continued to play with her hair, enjoying all of the expressions that were crossing her face as he did.
“I never thought I’d be living with her again.”
Her eyes popped open, and he recognized the action well. She was worried that she was doing something that he wasn’t okay with.
“Tyler, are you sure you don’t mind? I’m sure we could find some other – “
The fingers that had been in her hair moved to her lips, trying to avoid the frantic babbling that was surely about to happen.
“Babe, it’s fine. Out of the two of them, she’s the one I’d rather live with. Besides, I won’t have to feel so bad about leaving you alone all the time.”
“It’ll be nice to have some company when you’re gone,” she agreed. “And I was thinking…”
Her voice trailed off, something that only happened when she forgot what she was about to say or when she wasn’t sure of how he would react to something that she was about to say.
“What were you thinking?” he asked, leaving a kiss on her cheek for reassurance. He hated that she was so timid about talking to him.
“You know how she insists on paying for college herself, right?”
“Uh huh.”
“Well, this morning after you called Amelia, I was just thinking everything through. I had to consider what changes we would have to make if suddenly we had a kid to take care of.”
“Okay,” he said, waiting for her to get to the point.
“And there isn’t really much, just have to set aside a room, buy some more food, and maybe make a playroom or some shit, right?”
“Right.”
Tyler agreed, but they both knew that underneath the surface, there were hundreds of other changes they were going to have to make. Not wanting to complicate things or stress her out, he stayed quiet about them.
“Then I get to thinking, we can do this. I think it’s something we can handle. But once these babies are born, there’s no conceivable way I can take care of two infants and a boy all by myself. So I figure if Cass is gonna be living with us for the next five years or so, maybe we could take advantage of that.”
He smirked, realizing what she was trying to ask him without actually asking him. She always acted strange when it came to money, and he got the feeling that she had no idea just how much they had.
“You want me to pay her to live here,” he stated, watching her face twist at the blatant way he’d put it.
“When you say it like that…” she muttered, looking guilty as ever. “I just thought it would be nice to help her out, and God knows I could use the help. I know she’s family, but that’s a lot to ask of someone her age, who’s just about to start college.”
“Nicki, I’m not saying no. I’m fine with that. I think it’s going to be a challenge to get her to accept money from me though. She’s never taken advantage of it the way Candace and my mom have. Remember when she wouldn’t even let me pay for that shitbox car of hers?”
“Ugh, yeah, I didn’t think of that. Are you sure you’re okay with it? I know I’m not in any place to be making financial decisions.”
At that, Tyler had to laugh. She was simply never going to change.
“You do realize that money’s under your name too, don’t you?” he asked, cupping a hand around her cheek.
“I’m not the one who works for it, Ty.”
“Oh yeah, I work so hard,” he mused, “Getting paid millions of dollars to do my favorite thing, it’s pretty tough.”
“You know what I meant,” she mumbled, scanning the room so that she wouldn’t have to look at him.
“You’re being so difficult. Would it help if I showed you our bank accounts?”
“You don’t have to do that, I’m sorry.”
Although he accepted her apology, as it wasn’t even necessary, he was intent on showing her just how much he’d stashed away over the years. Tyler extended his arm out blindly, trying to feel for his phone on the nightstand. He brushed against it with his fingertips and grabbed it, swinging it in his hand so that it was right side up. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Nicki glance away as he typed in his passcode, and was taken aback by her respect for his privacy. Most wives, even those of his teammates, would do anything to gain access to their personal items.
While he waited for his bank app to load, he snuck in a long peck on her lips, hoping to relax her a bit. It made sense, why she was always so fidgety when money came up. Her whole life she didn’t have much, and a good deal of the issues she’d faced as a child stemmed from her mother spending all of it on booze.
Tyler entered his password and grinned as his three bank accounts came up in the same window. He tilted the phone towards Nicki’s face and basked in her shocked expression.
“Tyler, how did you even make that much?!”
“There’s my paycheck from the Bruins, I get royalties from Underarmour, Dunks, and AT&T every month, and all of my bonuses from the season. Plus the interest I get for having all of that money in the bank. Babe, I told you not to worry.”
“Jesus Christ, that’s enough to take care of the next three generations of our family,” she murmured, still entranced by the amount of zeros on his phone in front of her.
He stared at her, wondering if she noticed exactly what she’d just said. Every so often they called themselves a family, but it was a stretch at best. Two people and a dog wasn’t exactly what first comes to mind when one thinks of family. But hearing her define them as that made him think forward, to a time when they would be surrounded by things they’d taken part in creating. They were starting their own family; one that was new and fresh and separate from the slightly dysfunctional ones they’d both grown up in.
“I love you so much,” he said quietly, dropping his phone and holding her chin in his fingers.
“Nicki, I’m already lucky enough to do what I love every day and call it a job. And I’m absurdly lucky to have a wife who doesn’t take advantage of the perks. But come on. You can’t possibly think paying for my sister’s tuition or buying a few unnecessary things here and there could be an issue. Why do you think I got you your own credit card? I could have made you ask for mine every time you wanted to buy something, which you do anyways and to be honest babe, it’s a little ridiculous. You’re not thirteen, I’m not your dad. I’m your husband. You’re supposed to spend all of my money recklessly. It’s what I signed up for.”
Nicki finally laughed, and he took a moment to enjoy the sound of it. He didn’t want to fight with her about such trivial matters, but she was as stubborn as a mule and as thick as a tree trunk. When he looked around their closet, he could remember buying each piece of clothing she owned; she wouldn’t go without him. It would be a small miracle if he came home one day to shopping bags and new things. Maybe Cassidy would be able to loosen her up a bit.
“I appreciate it Ty, I do, I just don’t see any good in spending it. We have everything we need.”
“So go out with the girls,” he urged, “I know you’ve seen what they come home with, I’ve heard about it in the locker room more times than I can count. Buy yourself a nice… sweater or some shit, I don’t know.”
“A sweater? That’s the best you can come up with?” she teased, running her fingertips down the length of his torso.
A groan escaped without his permission, and it seemed to lighten the darkening mood in the room. It hadn’t been the first groan that day, and he certainly hoped it wouldn’t be the last. Thinking about what may or may not happen later that night reminded him of the impending dread that had filled him in anticipation of his encounter with Freddy.
“Should probably start getting ready,” he said, grabbing a piece of her hair and running his fingers down the lengths of it.
“Ugh. Suddenly I’m wishing I said tomorrow. I don’t feel like cooking,” she complained, pushing herself up from the mattress.
He watched her move, her muscles still strong underneath her skin, even though her workouts had toned down monumentally. As far as he knew, she walked around the lake every day with Marshall. Other than that, there weren’t too many exercises she could do without putting herself of the babies at risk.
When she got off of the bed, she stood still for a moment in front of him, allowing him to scan every inch of her. He felt his eyes widen and his breath cut off when he took in her form.
“I don’t remember your boobs being that big last time,” he pointed out, having difficulty keeping himself under control. Currently, they were the most appealing things about her.
She cupped them in her hands and made a face, but her expression went unnoticed. All he could see and think about was her hands on her chest, as if she was unknowingly trying to drive him insane.
“That’s because they weren’t,” she whined. “They fucking kill, and none of my bras fit anymore.”
In a flash, the water works began. Tyler jumped off of the bed, kicking himself for not considering how emotionally unstable she was, especially about her body. He wrapped his arms around her gently, afraid that he might cause her pain if he squeezed too hard.
“Don’t cry. We’ll buy you some new ones. I’ll even go with you if you want, I know how much you hate it.”
His words seemed to bounce off of her, and she continued to sob. With few ideas left, he removed her hand from her breast and replaced it with his own. Sympathy washed over him as he felt the weight of it, and couldn’t imagine her already tired back carrying the extra pounds.
“I like them,” he said, his voice a few octaves higher than it normally was in the hopes that he could cheer her up.
A small giggle shook her body, and he listened as her breathing regulated and the sobbing stopped.
“Thanks baby,” she whispered, lying her head on his bare chest. “I guess if you like them then it’s okay.”
He could hear a hint of sarcasm, but he decided to dismiss it. Sarcasm and jokes were always a good sign with her, as they never appeared when she was truly upset. Tyler boiled it down to another pregnancy meltdown, and hoped that they wouldn’t be getting any worse. He wasn’t sure how much more he could handle, or how much worse her outbursts could get.
“I do like them,” he assured her, giving the one he held a gentle squeeze. “If you want, later I can show you how much I like them.”
Nicki picked up on his tone instantly and perked right up, shimmying out of his arms and taking a few steps back.
“That should be okay,” she said, throwing a wink his way before turning her back and disappearing into their shared closet.
Tyler followed like the lost puppy he was. At least he had an excuse this time; he needed to get dressed himself. Nicki stood in front of the space where she kept her dresses, eyeing each one with a scrutiny that he would never understand.
“Is this a formal thing?” he asked, facing his own side of the small room.
He glanced over his shoulder, waiting for her response, and observed as she stepped into a lace thong. The same lace thong that just so happened to be his favorite of all the lingerie she owned, He raised his fist to his mouth and bit down hard on a knuckle, trying to fight off the impending sign that he was ready to take her, anywhere, any way. The last thing he needed was a distracting bulge in his pants.
“I wouldn’t say formal,” she finally answered, grabbing a hanger and holding the dress it held in front of her. “But it’s not like they’re coming over for cocktails and movies.”
A sigh carried from his mouth through the rest of the room, earning an eye roll from Nicki. He didn’t mind dressing up, and he didn’t mind dressing down. But he had an issue finding something acceptable that laid somewhere between gym shorts and a suit.
Opting to spend his time in other ways, he turned to face Nicki and watched her sift through her clothes until she found whatever she was looking for. She pulled out a sapphire colored dress, one very similar to the one she’d worn the night they first kissed. Tyler cocked his head and smiled, understanding exactly what she was up to. She only wore that dress when she was feeling romantic, made obvious by the red wine stain that ruined the original one.
She reached for a pair of silver heels, but stopped under Tyler’s harsh glare.
“No heels,” he reminded her.
“Ugh, Ty – “
“No, I don’t wanna hear it,” he said as he approached her. “I’m not going through this again. You’re gonna be in pain for days.”
Letting out a loud grunt, she tossed the heels aside. Tyler couldn’t help but laugh at her, even though he felt a little bad about finding her distress humorous.
“Why don’t you wear the ones Cass bought you for your birthday last year?” he suggested, hoping to avoid another breakdown.
It took her a moment to remember which shoes he was talking about, but as soon as she did her face lit up.
“Tyler, you are the greatest.”
He wore a grin proudly on his face, satisfied that he finally did something to help. After grabbing the pair of sandals he was talking about, she inched towards him slowly. The shoes she was holding made a soft thud against the hardwood as they fell from her grip. Hands snaked up his stomach, coming to a rest by the base of his neck.
“And that stupid grin,” she said, grinning herself. Her words got caught somewhere between her brain and her mouth, and although he knew that she was thinking something, she wasn’t speaking. She moved her hands up further, smoothing her fingers over the scruff-ridden sides of his face. “So handsome…” she murmured.
Her compliment caught him off guard, and he found himself unable to look away from her loving gaze. He dropped his lips to her forehead and felt her hands on his sides, which reminded him that he was still naked as the day he was born. As much as he would have liked to stay that way for the rest of the night, they were expecting company in less than two hours.
“Will you help me get dressed?” he asked, stepping away from her as she laughed.
“But you look so good the way you are.”
“Yeah well I think we both remember how Freddy reacts to me being naked.”
She laughed again as she started going through his things, clearly on a mission. He stuck out his hands to catch a pair of briefs that she’d thrown at him, and stepped into them while he waited for the rest of his wardrobe to be tossed in the air. Next came a fitted white tee shirt, then a pair of dark jeans, finished off with a checkered dress shirt.
“Not too bad, babe,” he said, reaching for a pair of socks.
Before he could bend over to put them on she stood in front of him, slowly buttoning his shirt.
“I know what looks good on my man,” she responded, taking her eyes off of his torso for a moment to meet his stare.
Momentarily forgetting that they had things to do, he let himself get lost in her warm eyes. Unable to help himself, he leaned in, touching his lips to hers. Instantly her arms were thrown around his neck and she was up on her toes, trying to get as much out of the kiss as she could.
“We. Have. To. Cook,” he said, using each break to get a word out.
Despite his reminder, she kept going, and there was not a bone in his body that had the strength to make her stop. His hands rested on the middle of her back, fingers spread wide and playing with the soft fabric of her dress. The movement of her lips slowed, and finally came to halt. They hung onto his as long as they could, until a press for time pulled them apart.
“Thank you for being okay with this,” she said, taking a seat on the floor to put on her shoes.
Tyler sat with her and pulled a pair of white sneakers out of the shoebox by his side.
“Thank you for making me do this.”
Once his shoes were on and tied, he stood and offered his hands to help her up. She accepted gratefully, and he could feel the extra weight she’d put on when he pulled her up from the floor. It hadn’t shown much yet, made obvious by her slender figure under the skintight dress she wore. His hands found her sides and turned her around, inspecting her stomach for a bump. If it was ever going to be noticeable, it would be then.
“Do you see anything?” she asked, catching on quickly to what he was doing.
He ran his palm down her stomach, disappointed with what he found.
“No, not yet.”
“Why does it feel like everything is taking twice as long this time?”
The exasperation in her voice was plain; he felt it too. The last time she had been pregnant, there were some things they took for granted. They had no idea how lucky they were then.
“I wish I could tell you,” he sighed, smoothing his hand over her hair. “Why don’t you finish getting ready, I’ll start chopping.”
She nodded and reached up to leave a light kiss on his lips, one subtle enough to make him want more. It was going to be difficult having Cassidy around all the time, and he gathered that Nicki hadn’t exactly thought through the ramifications of having a permanent houseguest.
He watched her walk away from him and into their bathroom before he made his way downstairs. When he entered the kitchen to search for their oversized pasta pot, the reality of what he was about to do sank in. Besides with Nicki, he’d never had to make such important amends with another person. And with her, as much as he didn’t deserve it, she forgave him right away. Freddy had proved to be a much more difficult task.
Once he had the vegetables removed from the fridge and the cutting boards out on the counter, he stood in the middle of the kitchen, watching the sunset through the large windows and trying to compile some sort of apology. When it came down to it, he had no idea what he was supposed to say to his old friend. “Sorry I left my wife alone in the hospital, we cool?”, somehow didn’t seem like it would suffice. He knew that he’d done something wrong, but he still didn’t understand why exactly Freddy was so enraged with him. It wasn’t as though he’d asked Tyler to watch Evaline and he’d left her. As stupid and heartless as he had been, it was his wife, and his marriage.
A pair of hands landed delicately on his sides, so softly that it didn’t even make him jump, even though he hadn’t heard Nicki come into the kitchen.
“Whatcha thinking about love?” she asked, her voice muffled by his back.
“Guess I’m just trying to figure out what to say to Freddy.”
“Do you need some help?”
Tyler spun around so that he could face her and nodded his head slowly. She was always so good with words, and even better with people. She always knew exactly what and what not to say, and how to handle any kind of social situation. On more than one occasion she’d saved him from making a fool of himself in front of some pretty important people, and she always seemed to woo whoever she met. His wife had a personality like no other, and even people who were meeting her for the first time could pick up on it.
Leaning back against the island, she crossed her arms in front of her stomach and looked up at him.
“First, I think you should start by saying you miss him.”
“Isn’t that a little… gay?”
“Tyler, just because you’re a guy doesn’t mean you can’t miss your best friend.”
He shrugged her off and asked, “What else?”
“Don’t apologize right away. I don’t think either of us really knows why he’s mad, and it won’t be sincere if you’re saying sorry for something you’re not sure if you did or not.”
“Okay… so what the hell do I say to him then?”
“I would ask him to explain why he’s so mad at you,” she said, grabbing both of his hands in hers.
“I think that’s the best way to start. That way, you can talk it out, maybe even explain yourself if he’s willing to listen.”
Tyler shook his head and glanced down at the floor. He felt humiliated that he’d let his life spiral so out of control. When he finally found the courage to look at Nicki again, she was staring at him with so much love it nearly knocked him backwards.
“Why were you so quick to forgive me that day?” he muttered.
She dropped his hands and moved hers to cup his face. For a long time, she looked into his eyes, as if she was searching for answers inside of them.
“Because, Ty. I was terrified and alone and upset, and no matter how horrible you made me feel, you’re also the only person who can make me feel better. I needed you. And when you came back, I wasn’t about to push you away.”
Feeling a little uncomfortable, Tyler wrapped his arms around her upper half and planted a gentle kiss on the top of her head. Since the few days following the debacle, this was the first time they were speaking about it, about what he’d done to her. He still hadn’t forgiven himself. He probably never would.
“You’ll never know how sorry I am,” he whispered, tightening his arms around her. Figuring he could pass some time in her embrace, Tyler let his thoughts wander. “Hey, why were you watching our wedding video anyways?”
Nicki removed her head from his chest and leaned back, looking up at him with a confused expression on her face.
“I wasn’t?”
“No, I meant the night all of this shit happened. The next day when I went home, I went to put on a movie, but when I turned on the Blu Ray our wedding video was playing.”
“Oh,” she giggled, reaching her neck forward to place a kiss on his chest. “I missed you a lot. And when I was dusting the entertainment center, I remembered we had it.” She paused for a moment before adding, “That was the best day of my life. You couldn’t have made that wedding more perfect if you tried.”
“I know,” he said, grinning. “It was flawless. It was exactly how I pictured it.”
She shook her head. “It was better than I pictured.”
He smiled and leaned in to kiss her, but was met only with fingers against his lips.
“Time to cook, sweetheart. Enough of that now.”
Letting out an exaggerated sigh, he rolled his eyes, trying to remind her that chopping and dicing were not his forte. Nicki rolled her eyes right back at him and handed him a knife from the cutlery drawer.
“You dice the tomatoes okay? I can handle everything else.”
“Don’t cut yourself, I think the worst thing for Freddy and I’s relationship is to be waiting in the hospital for you again,” he teased, giving her a tiny hip check.
She threw one back at him, much harder than he was expecting.
“Jeez babe,” he chuckled, slicing into his first tomato.
Nicki completely ignored him and asked, “You know what we need?”
“Aggression counseling?”
“Music,” she stated, giving him a firm slap on the back and whispering, “Asshole,” into his ear.
“You’re so cute when you’re mad,” he called after her as she disappeared down the hallway.
Moments later she’d returned with their portable Bose speakers and her phone. She put on a playlist that he was very familiar with, one that had ultimately been the beginning of their friendship. They exchanged a smile before getting to work, and Tyler listened extra close so that he could hear Nicki’s voice along with the music.
The entire process went smoothly, and Tyler even found himself having a great deal of fun. Halfway through the onions, Nicki had to drop the knife and step away from the cutting board, as her eyes were watering fiercely. Marshall trotted into the room, and she spent ten minutes dancing with him, both of them on just two legs. Tyler stopped everything he was doing to snap a few pictures, and decided that next year’s Christmas card would be the one he got of Marshall leaning forward to lick her face.
“Ty, you wanna get the pasta pot for me?” she asked after giving the sauce one last stir. “I can’t lift it myself.”
He nodded and opened the cabinet underneath the island where they kept all of the miscellaneous gifts from his mother. The pot he was looking for was easy to find, as it was enormous and right up front. After picking it up and moving it to the sink, he filled it with water and placed it on the stovetop to boil. A glance at the clock on the microwave told him they had about thirty minutes until Freddy and Evaline would be arriving.
Turning around, he caught a glimpse of Nicki adjusting her dress, and saw a bit more leg than he could handle.
“You’re fucking sexy,” he said, biting down on his lip as he approached her.
“You’re fucking sexy,” she repeated, biting her lip in the same fashion.
Obviously, her tease had been more successful. Tyler used his body to get her against the island and boxed her in with his arms. He glared at her for a moment, letting her know exactly what was on his mind. She flashed him a devilish smirk, one that told him he was in. Moving his head closer to her, he dropped it and let his lips fall to her neck. A pleased whimper rang through his ears, even sweeter than the sound of her singing.
He didn’t hold back; he thrashed his tongue against her skin and left nibbles where they had no place being. His hand began at her collarbone and descended slowly, cupping each of her breasts one at a time before moving further south. His fingers teased her thighs, and he could feel the heat radiating off of her already. The heat from her body seemed to transition onto his, and within seconds the crotch in his jeans had become compressing and tight. He pushed it against her, earning a moan as his hardness pressed into her hip.
Needing no further coaxing, he slipped his hand up her dress and pulled at her panties, making them fall easily down her legs. His middle finger teased her, ghosting along her inner thighs.
“Ty,” she begged, trying to move his hand where she wanted it to be.
With a grin he complied, and felt as though he was ready to explode as her quiet mews echoed through his head. In the midst of everything, her fingers fumbled with the button to his jeans, hurriedly trying to rid him of the only thing keeping them apart. When she finally succeeded, he gripped the back of her head and kissed her hard before lifting her onto the island behind her.
He had no time to spare and rushed into her, forcing a small yelp from her lips. In order to get a better view, Tyler pushed her dress up her stomach, watching himself for the second time that day as he brought them both quickly to the edge. All the years they’d spent together and all of the time they’d spent in bed had given him an extensive knowledge of her body, and how it reacted to certain things. For example, he knew that when he gave her deep, powerful thrusts, she hit her high in a matter of minutes.
So he did just that, racing against the water boiling on the stove. The adrenaline that coursed through him from the challenge provided him with both extra strength and stamina, His hands clenched around her hips, giving him something to hold on to as his motions increased in strength. When he looked at her, her eyes were pressed shut, and her fists were rolled into balls by her sides. Using her slow unraveling as motivation, he picked up the pace and watched in satisfaction as her hands covered her face, and the loud, uncontrolled groan that tried to leave her lips.
She involuntarily squeezed around him, hitting the peak of her climax, and bringing him to his own. His hands released her hips from their death grip and ran soothingly up and down her sides, feeling her feminine curves and smooth skin as he tried to bring himself down.
“God that was incredible,” she mumbled, her face still hidden by her delicate hands.
Tyler just stood there and smiled like an idiot, utterly pleased with himself and his efforts. Somehow, it seemed like every time he had her, it got a little bit better. Hesitantly, Nicki brought her hands down, as if she was afraid it wasn’t quite over. He chuckled and took in her beautiful, flushed face. As they always were after an orgasm, her cheeks and lips were a deep shade of rose, and her pretty eyes were shining a bit brighter than normal. Her full chest was still heaving, making it impossible to ignore her in all of her glory.
Just as Tyler was about to bend over and kiss her, a loud hissing noise made itself present in the room.
“Shit!” she shrieked, shoving him back, jumping off of the island, and sprinting to the stovetop, where water from the pot had boiled over and was now evaporating from the heat of the stove.
Turning down the heat, she began to laugh. “Tyler, you are such a distraction.”
He threw his hands up in retreat. “I don’t have to help. I have no problem grabbing a beer and hanging on the couch while you slave away in here.”
After ripping open a family sized box of spaghetti and letting it fall into the large, steaming pot, she turned around and walked back to him. Tyler tried to stifle a laugh; her dress was bunched up in all of the wrong places, her thong was dangling off of an ankle, and her hair somewhat resembled Cousin It. He matted down her unruly hair with his hands, smoothing it back to its original perfection.
She reached down to fix her dress, but instead of pulling up her underwear, she kicked them off.
“Oopsies.”
Tyler looked at her with frustration. She was going to spend the entire night with nothing underneath her dress, and he was going to be the only other person who knew about it. He braced himself for what was sure to be a painful evening, as if trying to reconcile with someone who currently wanted to rip his head off wouldn’t be enough to deal with.
“You suck. So. Bad,” he said, tangling his fingers in her hair, making sure not to mess it up again.
“You do know that, right?”
“Mhm.”
The smug grin on her face was surely one that he wished he could wipe off. She knew exactly how to toy with him; she could make him want to hold her and punish her and romance her all at the same time. It was excruciating, and he’d yet to figure out how to put a stop to it. Tyler spent another minute watching her while she set gathered chinaware for the dining room table, and helped her carry it in to set up.
Once everything was in its place, he took a step back. He had to hand it to her, she had a talent.
The chandelier above the large, dark table was dimmed, the soft light bouncing off of the plum colored walls. The white chinaware added an elegant contrast, and the intricate wine glasses sparkled from the flames of the candles she’d lit. In the center of the table sat a fake floral arrangement that tied together every hint of color in the entire room. It always made him proud to have guests over, to show off that he not only had money, but style.
“Ty!”
He heard his name from the kitchen and rushed in, hoping that he wouldn’t find her sprawled out
on the floor or hurt. Instead, he found her with a large strainer in her hands, standing over the sink.
“Babe, can you help me with this?” she asked over her shoulder.
“Yeah,” he said, using two small towels to grip the handles on the pot. “You ready?”
She nodded, and he lifted the heavy pot from the stove and let the water seep out slowly, afraid that some might splash and burn Nicki. They ended up completing the task successfully, and in minutes the pasta was back in its pot, being tossed around with the crimson sauce that had been simmering and steeping for the past two hours. As the steam lifted from the contents, Tyler caught a whiff of what they’d be eating for dinner that night.
“Holy shit, that smells delicious.”
Nicki giggled and came up by his side, placing an arm around his waist.
“Thanks, love. And thanks for, uh, you know,” she said with a wink.
Tyler laughed and pressed his lips to the top of her head.
“It’s pretty damn cool that you thank me for pummeling you,” he joked, earning a few more giggles from her supple lips.
“I just want to show my gratitude, that’s all.”
With that, she left a kiss on his cheek and sauntered over to the refrigerator, pulling out a salad that he hadn’t been any the wiser to. How he’d missed an enormous bowl in the middle of the fridge was beyond him, and he had to appreciate how much effort she’d put into the night they had planned. She rarely failed to amaze him, and never disappointed him. He was about to follow her into the dining room to help when the doorbell rang.
“You wanna get that babe?” she asked.
Taking a deep breath, he smoothed out his shirt and took long, concentrated strides to the front door. He realized that he had no idea what to say, and hoped that Evaline would be the first to come through the door. Grabbing the doorknob, he twisted it and invited his guests into the house.
“Hey Ty,” Evaline said, her voice even sweeter than he remembered.
She had Declan swaddled in her arms, and Tyler made sure to be extra careful as he bent down to hug her and exchange a kiss on the cheek. It had been months since she’d last been in their house, and she instantly seemed to notice the changes Nicki made.
“Wow, this place got even more beautiful,” she said under her breath. “Speaking of beautiful!”
He laughed as she waddled over to Nicki, greeting her the same way he had. Using his peripheral vision, Tyler saw Freddy step timidly through the doorway, trying not to make eye contact. The girls laughed and chatted hurriedly, as if they only had a few minutes to catch up on everything they’d missed. Nicki swooned over Declan, making sweet comments and dragging her finger along his tiny cheek.
Evaline stepped out of the way to let Freddy by, who handed Nicki a bottle of wine before trapping her in one of his monstrous hugs. It was evident on his face that he was happy to see her, but the same couldn’t be said for Tyler. The coldness was obvious, and it was so blatant he was sure that both of the girls could feel it, too.
“Evy, I wanna show you something,” Nicki said, tugging at her arm.
Before leading her up the stairs, she shot a forceful glance at both him and Freddy. Apparently, this was when they were supposed to talk. They both stood awkwardly, acknowledging each other’s presences but failing to do anything about it.
“Hey,” Tyler mumbled, in a feeble attempt to start a conversation.
“Hey,” was all he got in return.
“Listen, Freddy – “
“No, Ty, I gotta get this out.”
Taken aback by Freddy’s desperation, he cocked his head and waited.
“Man, I acted like a total dick. I mean, you did too, but I shouldn’t have held this against you. You really fucking ticked me off that day. I thought you totally lost it. Honestly, I think you did. But if Nicki forgave you, then it’s not my place to be mad at you. You know how much I care about her, she’s like a little sister to me. Watching her go through all of that, and then getting her heart broken by the one person whose job it is to make things better, it tore me apart. You weren’t there, Ty. You didn’t see her face, you didn’t hear her screaming and crying.”
“Are you trying to make me feel worse? Because it’s working.”
“Fuck, Tyler I’m sorry. That’s what I’m trying to say. I’m sorry. You’re my best friend, man. I don’t want to fight with you. This isn’t how we’re supposed to be.”
Shocked, Tyler couldn’t figure out what to say. Not in a million years had he expected Freddy to be the one apologizing.
“I’m sorry too,” he said, feeling the weights being lifted from his chest. “Can we just… put this behind us?”
“Please.”
He stepped forward, about to engage in one of their bro hugs, when a scream came from above them, followed by a baby’s wailing.
“What the fuck?!” Freddy shouted, casting a worried look up the stairs.
“Don’t worry about it,” Tyler said calmly. “Nicki’s just showing her the nursery.”
“Why would she… Is she…?”
Tyler grinned and nodded his head. “She just got through the first three months.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
He shook his head, sure that he must have been sporting an idiotic, enthralled expression. Freddy slapped his arms around him, giving him a firm pat on the back.
“Congrats, Ty. She must be so frigging happy.”
“Yeah, well, it’s not exactly how it sounds,” he murmured, pulling away from him.
“What do you mean? She okay?”
“As far as we know. We should wait, she’s probably gonna want to tell you everything herself.”
Freddy nodded and stared down at his feet.
“I’m sorry I took so long to do this,” he said quietly. “I can’t believe she’s been pregnant for three months and we didn’t even know. That’s no friendship.”
“Nah, I’m sorry too. I should have just stepped up and apologized.”
He opened his mouth to respond, but Nicki came galloping down the stairs and barreled into him.
“Hey, careful,” he warned, keeping her clumsiness in mind.
She did nothing but giggle and plant a kiss on his arm.
“Did you guys make up yet?”
“You could say that.”
Freddy took one look at Nicki before trapping her in his arms.
“Come here you little shit,” he said, his built frame overpowering her smaller one.
“I’m guessing he told you then?” she asked, hugging him back like she hadn’t seen him in years.
Evaline came slowly down the stairs, and Tyler rushed to her side to help her. Just as much as he didn’t want to see Nicki go tumbling down them, he didn’t want to see Evaline and her infant falling, either.
“Ty, I’m so happy for you guys!” she exclaimed, looking down at her own baby.
Tyler followed her gaze, taking in the beautiful little boy. So, their children most likely wouldn’t have blue eyes or dark brown hair. He was sure they would be beautiful in their own way.
“You guys ready to eat or what?” Nicki asked, now out of Freddy’s hold.
Everyone seemed to be in agreement that it was well past the time to eat. She led them into the dining room, where salad was already dished out and wine was already poured in every glass except for hers. In the corner of the room, unbeknownst to Tyler, she’d set up a highchair for Declan. Tyler didn’t ever remember buying one, and guessed that she’d purchased it particularly for this occasion.
They ate mostly in silence, each of them too hungry to hold any substantial conversation. It was rare that Nicki finished an entire salad, but Tyler watched in entertainment as she wolfed down every piece of lettuce on her plate.
“Damn Nicki, you know you don’t actually have to eat for two right? It’s just an expression…”
“Oh my God, Ty, you didn’t tell him?”
Tyler sat back in his seat. “I thought you’d want to.”
“Tell me what?” Freddy asked, his eyes darting skeptically between the two of them.
“They’re having twins, hon,” Evaline said softly.
** * *
“Well, Freddy took that relatively well,” Nicki giggled, scraping the remnants of the pasta into the trash.
Tyler came up behind her, placing his hands on her hips and pressing against her back.
“Woah, hey there,” she said, leaning into him. She rolled her shoulders back and sighed. “I can’t get enough of you lately.”
Not feeling any kind of necessity to answer, his hands slid across the fabric of her dress, coming to a rest in the middle of her stomach. His action seemed to spark something in her, as she turned quickly so that they were face to face.
“How adorable is Declan?” she asked.
“Yeah, he’s a really cute baby.”
She glanced down, and he knew right away that she’d been expecting a more excited answer.
“But ours are going to be so much cuter.”
Her eyes shot up, and a grin spread shamelessly across her face. Her lips found his in a heartbeat, and just a second later she was clinging to him with her legs around his waist. His hands moved to her bottom, where he lifted the material that covered it.
“Don’t think I forgot,” he mumbled, feeling her tremble in his arms at the sound of his low, penetrating voice. “After tomorrow, we might not have too many chances to do this anymore.”
Nicki pulled her head away from his and nodded. They both knew how drastically their lives had changed, but no matter what they’d faced before, every new obstacle seemed scarier than the last. Pushing the thoughts to the back of his mind, he reached blindly to turn off the lights in the kitchen and carried her upstairs.
He made it up the staircase with a great deal of struggle, and the moment he hit the landing a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. Nicki’s voice was traveling down the hallway, giving away that she was both in the nursery and singing merrily. Even though she’d promised to sing for him more, she hadn’t held up on it, so he resorted to sneaking up on her when she didn’t know he was home.
This time, however, the second he walked through the doorway, she recognized his presence. One glance around told him that she’d finished the room, and done an amazing job.
“Hi baby!” she squealed, throwing herself into his arms.
Tyler laughed and held her, remembering exactly why it was so hard for him to leave every morning. Not one day went by that she wasn’t enthralled to see him when he came home. The soft material of his old shirt she was wearing soothed his skin, which had gotten badly burned during an outside session that morning. Although he loved being outdoors and running drills, his fair skin did not take kindly to the harsh summer sun.
“Are you listening to Taylor Swift?” he asked, recalling her distaste for country music.
Instead of answering him, she tossed her arms over his shoulders and began to swing her hips.
“Hey Tyler, I’ve been holding back this feeling so I got some things to say to you. I’ve seen it all so I thought, but I never seen nobody shine the way you do. The way you walk, way you talk, way you say my name, it’s beautiful, wonderful, don’t you ever change. Hey Tyler why are people always leaving I think you and I should stay the same. Cause I can’t help it if you look like an angel, can’t help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain so, come feel this magic I been feeling since I met you, cant help it if there’s no one else, mmm I can’t help myself”
The entire time she sang, Tyler couldn’t stop grinning. He chuckled as she moved her head to the music, playfully imitating all of the musicians he’d seen on TV and in music videos. She would have kept going, had he not cut her off with a kiss. He attempted to lift her, forgetting momentarily about his weakened state. Ending up on his butt on the hardwood floor, they both burst into laughter, Nicki with her legs halfway entwined around his waist. When he tried to explain what had happened, her lips crashed onto his, barely allowing him the opportunity to breathe.
His fingers slid into her hair and hers traced his jawline, pulling him into one of the most enticing kisses he’d ever received. Her legs tightened around him, drawing their bodies closer than should be physically possible. Tyler could ignore all of the aches and pains that threatened to destroy him at any second, as long as he was attached to her in some way. His already sore butt should not have been able to withstand the hard floor, but he was numb to all feeling besides Nick’s lips against his.
To his dissatisfaction, she leaned back, pulling her head away from him. Just as he was about to grab her and bring her back, she doubled over, reaching for something behind him. When the song that was playing changed, he pieced together that she was searching for her iPod. The music flowed through his ears; it was a song he recognized well. By the way she was looking at him, with round, hopeful eyes, he knew exactly what she wanted.
Wordlessly he helped her up, his stiff muscles giving him hell for moving around so much. He ignored them and took one of her hands, while placing the other on her waist. Tyler stepped back and fell into a dance with ease, sparking a brief, enormous smile on Nicki’s face. Feeling the need to have her closer, he pulled her to his chest, to which she happily complied.
“I used to listen to this all the time when we first met,” she said softly.
He looked down at her; he felt the emotion in her words. This song meant a lot to her, it was obvious by how many times she’d played it. But never had she admitted to a time period when she listened to it. Suddenly, he found himself wishing he’d paid more attention to the lyrics. They were the most important part of a song to her, and he’d learned the hard way that the best way to tell what was on her mind was to pay attention to the music she was listening to.
“Will you sing it?” he asked, the tone of his voice matching hers in both quietness and feeling.
She nodded slightly, and they both waited out the music for the lyrics to begin.
”Is this the end of the moment, or just a beautiful unfolding of a love that will never be,
Or maybe be everything that I never thought could happen,
Or ever come to pass and I wonder if maybe, maybe I could be all you ever dreamed.
Cause you are beautiful inside, so lovely and I can’t see why I’d do anything without you, you are
And when I’m not with you, I know that it’s true that I’d rather be anywhere but here without you.
Is this a natural feeling? Or is it just me bleeding all my thoughts and dreams in hope that you will be with me,
Or is this a moment to remember, or just a cold day in December,
I wonder if maybe, oh maybe I could be, all you ever dreamed,
Cause you are, you’re beautiful inside, so lovely and I can’t see why I’d do anything without you, you are
And when I’m not with you I know that it’s true, that I’d rather be anywhere but here without you.”
Tyler dipped his head closer to her mouth, so that he could hear every word. Her voice was as smooth as honey against the sound blaring out of the speakers, and on more than one occasion sent a chill through his body. Regardless of the shivers that cursed him, he felt warm, inside and out. To know that she might have felt that way about him all that time ago, when he was too busy with his partying to give her a shot, absolutely killed him. For the short few months that he’d dubbed her as a friend and nothing more, he’d wasted an opportunity to have even more time with the woman he was meant to spend his life with. Given the chance to go back, he would have done it differently one thousand times over.
Although he would have gladly danced with her through the rest of the night, when the song came to an end, so did their moment. Nicki stayed clung to him a little longer, with her face buried in his chest. He lowered his chin and placed a small kiss on the top of her head, inspiring her arms to wrap firmly around his waist.
“You know we haven’t done that since our wedding,” she murmured, not even bothering to look up when she spoke to him.
“Maybe it’s something we should do more, then.”
The way he was feeling, he would have enjoyed dancing with her every day until the earth stopped spinning. It was something he would never have believed that he’d like to do, never mind something that he sometimes craved. He concluded it had more to do with the emotion and the closeness he could feel to her, especially through her music, rather than the actual act that he loved. It was a side of her that was soft and loving and vulnerable, just as she’d been when they met.
She nodded, eventually backing away from him and wiping a few, barely noticeable tears from her cheeks.
“So what do you think of the room?” she asked, sounding quiet and raspier than normal.
Tyler stepped forward and hung an arm across her shoulders, not wanting to be away from her, even for a second.
“It’s awesome, babe. You’re right, you did make lavender look gender neutral.”
“Thanks, love. Now comes the hard part.”
He glanced down at her, trying to figure out which part exactly she was speaking of.
“Having two kids?”
Nicki met his gaze, searching for something he wasn’t sure of. The tiniest hint of a smile warmed up her face and she shook her head.
“No. Waiting,” she said, placing her hands gently over her stomach.
“I’m with you on that one.”
They stood there a while longer, taking in the room around them in silence. He looked over the matching cribs, the changing table that Nicki had spent weeks searching for, and the rocking chair that had been equally difficult to find. He realized just how much they were getting their hopes up, and how devastating it would be to come in this room if the worst happened. It would be a constant reminder of what was sure to be life’s greatest letdown. Choosing not to think about it, he blocked out the negative thoughts and focused on the positive, like his ever growing wife. Every morning he checked her stomach, waiting for the excitement to come rolling in at the first feel of a bump.
“So.”
His stomach dropped a bit every time Nicki said the word “so”. She only began a sentence that way when she was about to drop something on him that she knew he might not react well to. Her hesitation clued him in, and he guessed it was probably bad, judging by the length of time she was taking to finish her statement.
“So?” he mimicked, trying to move her along.
“Freddy called me today.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
After another minute of uncomfortable silence he asked, “What did he want?”
“He said he missed me, he wants to take me out to lunch sometime.”
When she failed to mention anything about Tyler being included in those plans, his fear was confirmed. Freddy still hated his guts. They’d only spoken twice since that day at the hospital, both times out of necessity rather than companionship. He wanted to fix things, but he didn’t have the slightest clue as to how. He had never been one for apologies, and Freddy had always been one to hold a grudge.
“Ty, he doesn’t even know that I’m pregnant.”
Her words stung him, worse than he expected them to. His best friend, the one who had helped him through so much, the one he had to thank for the best thing that had ever happened to him, was so out of touch he didn’t even know that he was expecting children. After everything that had occurred, Freddy deserved to be one of the first to know. Chances were, he had no idea that Tyler was nearly shipped off to Calgary, either.
“Well, did you tell him?”
“Not exactly,” she muttered. It was obvious there was something she was keeping from him.
“What does that mean?”
“I invited him and Evy over for dinner.”
“When?” he asked, already sure that he knew the answer.
“Tonight…?”
The innocence on Nicki’s face made it impossible to be unhappy with her. It wasn’t like she was trying to stir trouble. She was trying to repair the relationship that he was too proud and too afraid to fix himself.
“And he agreed to that?”
Her eyes left his and darted to the floor. “I told him you wanted to talk.”
He nodded slowly. He’d been expecting her to say something like that. As much as he dreaded the confrontation that was sure to take place, he was thankful. This would never have happened if she hadn’t intervened, and he might have sacrificed a lifelong friendship. Now he just had to figure out what he was going to say.
“Sweetie I’m sorry, I can’t take this anymore. I miss them. And I know you do too. If neither of you are going to man up, then I’m not giving you a choice.”
“You got Evaline in on this too, didn’t you?” he asked, knowing the both of them much too well to think anything else.
“What did you want us to do Ty?! We miss all the time we used to spend together! And now that Declan’s calmed down, we can finally do things with them again. It’s not the same when it’s just me and her.”
“Hey,” he cooed, “Don’t get all worked up. It’s okay, I get it.”
“You do?”
“You don’t think I miss the way things were? Don’t get me wrong, tonight is probably going to be a shit show, but if I can say the right things, maybe he’ll put it behind him.”
“Oh. Okay, good,” she sighed.
Tyler smiled and pulled her into another hug. She was the sweetest person he’d ever met. There was no way in heaven or hell that he deserved even an ounce of her. After hearing her say those things, he was feeling a little guilty for holding out on his friendship with Freddy. He’d never given thought to what it might be doing to the girls.
“How long do we have?”
Nicki grabbed the wrist he wore his watch on and tilted her head to get a straight view of it.
“Two and a half hours until I have to start cooking.”
“Is that enough time for a massage?”
Wriggling out of his arms, she giggled and nodded her head towards their bedroom.
“Come on, stud.”
** * * *
“How does a massage always turn into sex?” Tyler inquired as Nicki curled up by his side and rested her head on his still heaving chest.
“You make that sound like it’s a bad thing,” she mumbled, already half asleep on top of him. “And to answer your question, you know what happens when one of us isn’t wearing clothes.”
He laughed, accidentally shaking her head up and down. It went without saying that if one of them was bare, the other was soon to follow.
“It feels kind of weird,” he admitted, playing with a strand of her hair. “Do you ever feel like I’m defiling our babies? What if their faces are like – “
“Stop it Ty!” she shrieked, giggling as she slapped him on the chest. “That’s so disturbing. It’s fine. Why do you even need to think about it?”
“How can I not?”
“Fine, we don’t have to have sex.”
He pulled her unnecessarily close to him, shaking his head fervently.
“Please, no,” he begged, half teasing. “We both know you wouldn’t even last a day. And you’re so sexy when you’re carrying my children.”
Nicki burst into laughter, even letting a small, adorable snort slip out.
“That certainly doesn’t sound very sexy.”
“Well believe me, it is,” he said, dragging his fingers softly across her shoulder.
“Mmm, that feels nice,” she sighed. “You’re making it really hard to get up and cook ya know.”
“What are you making?”
“I was just gonna make spaghetti and meatballs, use your mother’s recipe.”
“My mom gave you that recipe?” he asked.
“Yeah, you don’t remember? That was part of her wedding present to us. Ty, I’ve used it like twenty times since then.”
“I guess I just thought you got really good at making sauce,” he admitted, earning some entertained laughter from Nicki. “I’ve never seen her give that recipe to anyone.”
Nicki shrugged and snuggled closer to him, inspiring his eyes to flicker shut. He recalled an incident not too long ago where his aunt begged his mother for the recipe Nicki was talking about.
They fought and fought over it, and his mother made it quite clear that it was only to be passed down from mother to oldest daughter, the way it had for her and her mother and her grandmother. Apparently, his wife qualified just as much as a daughter to her as his sisters did.
Thinking about his family sparked a question that had been looming over him the entire weekend, that he kept forgetting to ask her.
“So when’s Cass moving in?”
She placed a gentle kiss on his chest before propping herself up on her elbows. Tyler was mesmerized by her hair, her soft waves draping every which way over her back and shoulders.
He couldn’t help but run a hand through it, to feel the impossibly soft strands between his fingers. A loud moan came from her, and a chuckle from him. Sometimes he forgot how sensitive she could be after sex, especially when he touched her hair and head.
“A couple of days I think,” she answered with her eyes closed, leaning into his touch. “I told her it didn’t matter, that we’re ready for her whenever she’s ready to come. Is that okay?”
He nodded and continued to play with her hair, enjoying all of the expressions that were crossing her face as he did.
“I never thought I’d be living with her again.”
Her eyes popped open, and he recognized the action well. She was worried that she was doing something that he wasn’t okay with.
“Tyler, are you sure you don’t mind? I’m sure we could find some other – “
The fingers that had been in her hair moved to her lips, trying to avoid the frantic babbling that was surely about to happen.
“Babe, it’s fine. Out of the two of them, she’s the one I’d rather live with. Besides, I won’t have to feel so bad about leaving you alone all the time.”
“It’ll be nice to have some company when you’re gone,” she agreed. “And I was thinking…”
Her voice trailed off, something that only happened when she forgot what she was about to say or when she wasn’t sure of how he would react to something that she was about to say.
“What were you thinking?” he asked, leaving a kiss on her cheek for reassurance. He hated that she was so timid about talking to him.
“You know how she insists on paying for college herself, right?”
“Uh huh.”
“Well, this morning after you called Amelia, I was just thinking everything through. I had to consider what changes we would have to make if suddenly we had a kid to take care of.”
“Okay,” he said, waiting for her to get to the point.
“And there isn’t really much, just have to set aside a room, buy some more food, and maybe make a playroom or some shit, right?”
“Right.”
Tyler agreed, but they both knew that underneath the surface, there were hundreds of other changes they were going to have to make. Not wanting to complicate things or stress her out, he stayed quiet about them.
“Then I get to thinking, we can do this. I think it’s something we can handle. But once these babies are born, there’s no conceivable way I can take care of two infants and a boy all by myself. So I figure if Cass is gonna be living with us for the next five years or so, maybe we could take advantage of that.”
He smirked, realizing what she was trying to ask him without actually asking him. She always acted strange when it came to money, and he got the feeling that she had no idea just how much they had.
“You want me to pay her to live here,” he stated, watching her face twist at the blatant way he’d put it.
“When you say it like that…” she muttered, looking guilty as ever. “I just thought it would be nice to help her out, and God knows I could use the help. I know she’s family, but that’s a lot to ask of someone her age, who’s just about to start college.”
“Nicki, I’m not saying no. I’m fine with that. I think it’s going to be a challenge to get her to accept money from me though. She’s never taken advantage of it the way Candace and my mom have. Remember when she wouldn’t even let me pay for that shitbox car of hers?”
“Ugh, yeah, I didn’t think of that. Are you sure you’re okay with it? I know I’m not in any place to be making financial decisions.”
At that, Tyler had to laugh. She was simply never going to change.
“You do realize that money’s under your name too, don’t you?” he asked, cupping a hand around her cheek.
“I’m not the one who works for it, Ty.”
“Oh yeah, I work so hard,” he mused, “Getting paid millions of dollars to do my favorite thing, it’s pretty tough.”
“You know what I meant,” she mumbled, scanning the room so that she wouldn’t have to look at him.
“You’re being so difficult. Would it help if I showed you our bank accounts?”
“You don’t have to do that, I’m sorry.”
Although he accepted her apology, as it wasn’t even necessary, he was intent on showing her just how much he’d stashed away over the years. Tyler extended his arm out blindly, trying to feel for his phone on the nightstand. He brushed against it with his fingertips and grabbed it, swinging it in his hand so that it was right side up. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Nicki glance away as he typed in his passcode, and was taken aback by her respect for his privacy. Most wives, even those of his teammates, would do anything to gain access to their personal items.
While he waited for his bank app to load, he snuck in a long peck on her lips, hoping to relax her a bit. It made sense, why she was always so fidgety when money came up. Her whole life she didn’t have much, and a good deal of the issues she’d faced as a child stemmed from her mother spending all of it on booze.
Tyler entered his password and grinned as his three bank accounts came up in the same window. He tilted the phone towards Nicki’s face and basked in her shocked expression.
“Tyler, how did you even make that much?!”
“There’s my paycheck from the Bruins, I get royalties from Underarmour, Dunks, and AT&T every month, and all of my bonuses from the season. Plus the interest I get for having all of that money in the bank. Babe, I told you not to worry.”
“Jesus Christ, that’s enough to take care of the next three generations of our family,” she murmured, still entranced by the amount of zeros on his phone in front of her.
He stared at her, wondering if she noticed exactly what she’d just said. Every so often they called themselves a family, but it was a stretch at best. Two people and a dog wasn’t exactly what first comes to mind when one thinks of family. But hearing her define them as that made him think forward, to a time when they would be surrounded by things they’d taken part in creating. They were starting their own family; one that was new and fresh and separate from the slightly dysfunctional ones they’d both grown up in.
“I love you so much,” he said quietly, dropping his phone and holding her chin in his fingers.
“Nicki, I’m already lucky enough to do what I love every day and call it a job. And I’m absurdly lucky to have a wife who doesn’t take advantage of the perks. But come on. You can’t possibly think paying for my sister’s tuition or buying a few unnecessary things here and there could be an issue. Why do you think I got you your own credit card? I could have made you ask for mine every time you wanted to buy something, which you do anyways and to be honest babe, it’s a little ridiculous. You’re not thirteen, I’m not your dad. I’m your husband. You’re supposed to spend all of my money recklessly. It’s what I signed up for.”
Nicki finally laughed, and he took a moment to enjoy the sound of it. He didn’t want to fight with her about such trivial matters, but she was as stubborn as a mule and as thick as a tree trunk. When he looked around their closet, he could remember buying each piece of clothing she owned; she wouldn’t go without him. It would be a small miracle if he came home one day to shopping bags and new things. Maybe Cassidy would be able to loosen her up a bit.
“I appreciate it Ty, I do, I just don’t see any good in spending it. We have everything we need.”
“So go out with the girls,” he urged, “I know you’ve seen what they come home with, I’ve heard about it in the locker room more times than I can count. Buy yourself a nice… sweater or some shit, I don’t know.”
“A sweater? That’s the best you can come up with?” she teased, running her fingertips down the length of his torso.
A groan escaped without his permission, and it seemed to lighten the darkening mood in the room. It hadn’t been the first groan that day, and he certainly hoped it wouldn’t be the last. Thinking about what may or may not happen later that night reminded him of the impending dread that had filled him in anticipation of his encounter with Freddy.
“Should probably start getting ready,” he said, grabbing a piece of her hair and running his fingers down the lengths of it.
“Ugh. Suddenly I’m wishing I said tomorrow. I don’t feel like cooking,” she complained, pushing herself up from the mattress.
He watched her move, her muscles still strong underneath her skin, even though her workouts had toned down monumentally. As far as he knew, she walked around the lake every day with Marshall. Other than that, there weren’t too many exercises she could do without putting herself of the babies at risk.
When she got off of the bed, she stood still for a moment in front of him, allowing him to scan every inch of her. He felt his eyes widen and his breath cut off when he took in her form.
“I don’t remember your boobs being that big last time,” he pointed out, having difficulty keeping himself under control. Currently, they were the most appealing things about her.
She cupped them in her hands and made a face, but her expression went unnoticed. All he could see and think about was her hands on her chest, as if she was unknowingly trying to drive him insane.
“That’s because they weren’t,” she whined. “They fucking kill, and none of my bras fit anymore.”
In a flash, the water works began. Tyler jumped off of the bed, kicking himself for not considering how emotionally unstable she was, especially about her body. He wrapped his arms around her gently, afraid that he might cause her pain if he squeezed too hard.
“Don’t cry. We’ll buy you some new ones. I’ll even go with you if you want, I know how much you hate it.”
His words seemed to bounce off of her, and she continued to sob. With few ideas left, he removed her hand from her breast and replaced it with his own. Sympathy washed over him as he felt the weight of it, and couldn’t imagine her already tired back carrying the extra pounds.
“I like them,” he said, his voice a few octaves higher than it normally was in the hopes that he could cheer her up.
A small giggle shook her body, and he listened as her breathing regulated and the sobbing stopped.
“Thanks baby,” she whispered, lying her head on his bare chest. “I guess if you like them then it’s okay.”
He could hear a hint of sarcasm, but he decided to dismiss it. Sarcasm and jokes were always a good sign with her, as they never appeared when she was truly upset. Tyler boiled it down to another pregnancy meltdown, and hoped that they wouldn’t be getting any worse. He wasn’t sure how much more he could handle, or how much worse her outbursts could get.
“I do like them,” he assured her, giving the one he held a gentle squeeze. “If you want, later I can show you how much I like them.”
Nicki picked up on his tone instantly and perked right up, shimmying out of his arms and taking a few steps back.
“That should be okay,” she said, throwing a wink his way before turning her back and disappearing into their shared closet.
Tyler followed like the lost puppy he was. At least he had an excuse this time; he needed to get dressed himself. Nicki stood in front of the space where she kept her dresses, eyeing each one with a scrutiny that he would never understand.
“Is this a formal thing?” he asked, facing his own side of the small room.
He glanced over his shoulder, waiting for her response, and observed as she stepped into a lace thong. The same lace thong that just so happened to be his favorite of all the lingerie she owned, He raised his fist to his mouth and bit down hard on a knuckle, trying to fight off the impending sign that he was ready to take her, anywhere, any way. The last thing he needed was a distracting bulge in his pants.
“I wouldn’t say formal,” she finally answered, grabbing a hanger and holding the dress it held in front of her. “But it’s not like they’re coming over for cocktails and movies.”
A sigh carried from his mouth through the rest of the room, earning an eye roll from Nicki. He didn’t mind dressing up, and he didn’t mind dressing down. But he had an issue finding something acceptable that laid somewhere between gym shorts and a suit.
Opting to spend his time in other ways, he turned to face Nicki and watched her sift through her clothes until she found whatever she was looking for. She pulled out a sapphire colored dress, one very similar to the one she’d worn the night they first kissed. Tyler cocked his head and smiled, understanding exactly what she was up to. She only wore that dress when she was feeling romantic, made obvious by the red wine stain that ruined the original one.
She reached for a pair of silver heels, but stopped under Tyler’s harsh glare.
“No heels,” he reminded her.
“Ugh, Ty – “
“No, I don’t wanna hear it,” he said as he approached her. “I’m not going through this again. You’re gonna be in pain for days.”
Letting out a loud grunt, she tossed the heels aside. Tyler couldn’t help but laugh at her, even though he felt a little bad about finding her distress humorous.
“Why don’t you wear the ones Cass bought you for your birthday last year?” he suggested, hoping to avoid another breakdown.
It took her a moment to remember which shoes he was talking about, but as soon as she did her face lit up.
“Tyler, you are the greatest.”
He wore a grin proudly on his face, satisfied that he finally did something to help. After grabbing the pair of sandals he was talking about, she inched towards him slowly. The shoes she was holding made a soft thud against the hardwood as they fell from her grip. Hands snaked up his stomach, coming to a rest by the base of his neck.
“And that stupid grin,” she said, grinning herself. Her words got caught somewhere between her brain and her mouth, and although he knew that she was thinking something, she wasn’t speaking. She moved her hands up further, smoothing her fingers over the scruff-ridden sides of his face. “So handsome…” she murmured.
Her compliment caught him off guard, and he found himself unable to look away from her loving gaze. He dropped his lips to her forehead and felt her hands on his sides, which reminded him that he was still naked as the day he was born. As much as he would have liked to stay that way for the rest of the night, they were expecting company in less than two hours.
“Will you help me get dressed?” he asked, stepping away from her as she laughed.
“But you look so good the way you are.”
“Yeah well I think we both remember how Freddy reacts to me being naked.”
She laughed again as she started going through his things, clearly on a mission. He stuck out his hands to catch a pair of briefs that she’d thrown at him, and stepped into them while he waited for the rest of his wardrobe to be tossed in the air. Next came a fitted white tee shirt, then a pair of dark jeans, finished off with a checkered dress shirt.
“Not too bad, babe,” he said, reaching for a pair of socks.
Before he could bend over to put them on she stood in front of him, slowly buttoning his shirt.
“I know what looks good on my man,” she responded, taking her eyes off of his torso for a moment to meet his stare.
Momentarily forgetting that they had things to do, he let himself get lost in her warm eyes. Unable to help himself, he leaned in, touching his lips to hers. Instantly her arms were thrown around his neck and she was up on her toes, trying to get as much out of the kiss as she could.
“We. Have. To. Cook,” he said, using each break to get a word out.
Despite his reminder, she kept going, and there was not a bone in his body that had the strength to make her stop. His hands rested on the middle of her back, fingers spread wide and playing with the soft fabric of her dress. The movement of her lips slowed, and finally came to halt. They hung onto his as long as they could, until a press for time pulled them apart.
“Thank you for being okay with this,” she said, taking a seat on the floor to put on her shoes.
Tyler sat with her and pulled a pair of white sneakers out of the shoebox by his side.
“Thank you for making me do this.”
Once his shoes were on and tied, he stood and offered his hands to help her up. She accepted gratefully, and he could feel the extra weight she’d put on when he pulled her up from the floor. It hadn’t shown much yet, made obvious by her slender figure under the skintight dress she wore. His hands found her sides and turned her around, inspecting her stomach for a bump. If it was ever going to be noticeable, it would be then.
“Do you see anything?” she asked, catching on quickly to what he was doing.
He ran his palm down her stomach, disappointed with what he found.
“No, not yet.”
“Why does it feel like everything is taking twice as long this time?”
The exasperation in her voice was plain; he felt it too. The last time she had been pregnant, there were some things they took for granted. They had no idea how lucky they were then.
“I wish I could tell you,” he sighed, smoothing his hand over her hair. “Why don’t you finish getting ready, I’ll start chopping.”
She nodded and reached up to leave a light kiss on his lips, one subtle enough to make him want more. It was going to be difficult having Cassidy around all the time, and he gathered that Nicki hadn’t exactly thought through the ramifications of having a permanent houseguest.
He watched her walk away from him and into their bathroom before he made his way downstairs. When he entered the kitchen to search for their oversized pasta pot, the reality of what he was about to do sank in. Besides with Nicki, he’d never had to make such important amends with another person. And with her, as much as he didn’t deserve it, she forgave him right away. Freddy had proved to be a much more difficult task.
Once he had the vegetables removed from the fridge and the cutting boards out on the counter, he stood in the middle of the kitchen, watching the sunset through the large windows and trying to compile some sort of apology. When it came down to it, he had no idea what he was supposed to say to his old friend. “Sorry I left my wife alone in the hospital, we cool?”, somehow didn’t seem like it would suffice. He knew that he’d done something wrong, but he still didn’t understand why exactly Freddy was so enraged with him. It wasn’t as though he’d asked Tyler to watch Evaline and he’d left her. As stupid and heartless as he had been, it was his wife, and his marriage.
A pair of hands landed delicately on his sides, so softly that it didn’t even make him jump, even though he hadn’t heard Nicki come into the kitchen.
“Whatcha thinking about love?” she asked, her voice muffled by his back.
“Guess I’m just trying to figure out what to say to Freddy.”
“Do you need some help?”
Tyler spun around so that he could face her and nodded his head slowly. She was always so good with words, and even better with people. She always knew exactly what and what not to say, and how to handle any kind of social situation. On more than one occasion she’d saved him from making a fool of himself in front of some pretty important people, and she always seemed to woo whoever she met. His wife had a personality like no other, and even people who were meeting her for the first time could pick up on it.
Leaning back against the island, she crossed her arms in front of her stomach and looked up at him.
“First, I think you should start by saying you miss him.”
“Isn’t that a little… gay?”
“Tyler, just because you’re a guy doesn’t mean you can’t miss your best friend.”
He shrugged her off and asked, “What else?”
“Don’t apologize right away. I don’t think either of us really knows why he’s mad, and it won’t be sincere if you’re saying sorry for something you’re not sure if you did or not.”
“Okay… so what the hell do I say to him then?”
“I would ask him to explain why he’s so mad at you,” she said, grabbing both of his hands in hers.
“I think that’s the best way to start. That way, you can talk it out, maybe even explain yourself if he’s willing to listen.”
Tyler shook his head and glanced down at the floor. He felt humiliated that he’d let his life spiral so out of control. When he finally found the courage to look at Nicki again, she was staring at him with so much love it nearly knocked him backwards.
“Why were you so quick to forgive me that day?” he muttered.
She dropped his hands and moved hers to cup his face. For a long time, she looked into his eyes, as if she was searching for answers inside of them.
“Because, Ty. I was terrified and alone and upset, and no matter how horrible you made me feel, you’re also the only person who can make me feel better. I needed you. And when you came back, I wasn’t about to push you away.”
Feeling a little uncomfortable, Tyler wrapped his arms around her upper half and planted a gentle kiss on the top of her head. Since the few days following the debacle, this was the first time they were speaking about it, about what he’d done to her. He still hadn’t forgiven himself. He probably never would.
“You’ll never know how sorry I am,” he whispered, tightening his arms around her. Figuring he could pass some time in her embrace, Tyler let his thoughts wander. “Hey, why were you watching our wedding video anyways?”
Nicki removed her head from his chest and leaned back, looking up at him with a confused expression on her face.
“I wasn’t?”
“No, I meant the night all of this shit happened. The next day when I went home, I went to put on a movie, but when I turned on the Blu Ray our wedding video was playing.”
“Oh,” she giggled, reaching her neck forward to place a kiss on his chest. “I missed you a lot. And when I was dusting the entertainment center, I remembered we had it.” She paused for a moment before adding, “That was the best day of my life. You couldn’t have made that wedding more perfect if you tried.”
“I know,” he said, grinning. “It was flawless. It was exactly how I pictured it.”
She shook her head. “It was better than I pictured.”
He smiled and leaned in to kiss her, but was met only with fingers against his lips.
“Time to cook, sweetheart. Enough of that now.”
Letting out an exaggerated sigh, he rolled his eyes, trying to remind her that chopping and dicing were not his forte. Nicki rolled her eyes right back at him and handed him a knife from the cutlery drawer.
“You dice the tomatoes okay? I can handle everything else.”
“Don’t cut yourself, I think the worst thing for Freddy and I’s relationship is to be waiting in the hospital for you again,” he teased, giving her a tiny hip check.
She threw one back at him, much harder than he was expecting.
“Jeez babe,” he chuckled, slicing into his first tomato.
Nicki completely ignored him and asked, “You know what we need?”
“Aggression counseling?”
“Music,” she stated, giving him a firm slap on the back and whispering, “Asshole,” into his ear.
“You’re so cute when you’re mad,” he called after her as she disappeared down the hallway.
Moments later she’d returned with their portable Bose speakers and her phone. She put on a playlist that he was very familiar with, one that had ultimately been the beginning of their friendship. They exchanged a smile before getting to work, and Tyler listened extra close so that he could hear Nicki’s voice along with the music.
The entire process went smoothly, and Tyler even found himself having a great deal of fun. Halfway through the onions, Nicki had to drop the knife and step away from the cutting board, as her eyes were watering fiercely. Marshall trotted into the room, and she spent ten minutes dancing with him, both of them on just two legs. Tyler stopped everything he was doing to snap a few pictures, and decided that next year’s Christmas card would be the one he got of Marshall leaning forward to lick her face.
“Ty, you wanna get the pasta pot for me?” she asked after giving the sauce one last stir. “I can’t lift it myself.”
He nodded and opened the cabinet underneath the island where they kept all of the miscellaneous gifts from his mother. The pot he was looking for was easy to find, as it was enormous and right up front. After picking it up and moving it to the sink, he filled it with water and placed it on the stovetop to boil. A glance at the clock on the microwave told him they had about thirty minutes until Freddy and Evaline would be arriving.
Turning around, he caught a glimpse of Nicki adjusting her dress, and saw a bit more leg than he could handle.
“You’re fucking sexy,” he said, biting down on his lip as he approached her.
“You’re fucking sexy,” she repeated, biting her lip in the same fashion.
Obviously, her tease had been more successful. Tyler used his body to get her against the island and boxed her in with his arms. He glared at her for a moment, letting her know exactly what was on his mind. She flashed him a devilish smirk, one that told him he was in. Moving his head closer to her, he dropped it and let his lips fall to her neck. A pleased whimper rang through his ears, even sweeter than the sound of her singing.
He didn’t hold back; he thrashed his tongue against her skin and left nibbles where they had no place being. His hand began at her collarbone and descended slowly, cupping each of her breasts one at a time before moving further south. His fingers teased her thighs, and he could feel the heat radiating off of her already. The heat from her body seemed to transition onto his, and within seconds the crotch in his jeans had become compressing and tight. He pushed it against her, earning a moan as his hardness pressed into her hip.
Needing no further coaxing, he slipped his hand up her dress and pulled at her panties, making them fall easily down her legs. His middle finger teased her, ghosting along her inner thighs.
“Ty,” she begged, trying to move his hand where she wanted it to be.
With a grin he complied, and felt as though he was ready to explode as her quiet mews echoed through his head. In the midst of everything, her fingers fumbled with the button to his jeans, hurriedly trying to rid him of the only thing keeping them apart. When she finally succeeded, he gripped the back of her head and kissed her hard before lifting her onto the island behind her.
He had no time to spare and rushed into her, forcing a small yelp from her lips. In order to get a better view, Tyler pushed her dress up her stomach, watching himself for the second time that day as he brought them both quickly to the edge. All the years they’d spent together and all of the time they’d spent in bed had given him an extensive knowledge of her body, and how it reacted to certain things. For example, he knew that when he gave her deep, powerful thrusts, she hit her high in a matter of minutes.
So he did just that, racing against the water boiling on the stove. The adrenaline that coursed through him from the challenge provided him with both extra strength and stamina, His hands clenched around her hips, giving him something to hold on to as his motions increased in strength. When he looked at her, her eyes were pressed shut, and her fists were rolled into balls by her sides. Using her slow unraveling as motivation, he picked up the pace and watched in satisfaction as her hands covered her face, and the loud, uncontrolled groan that tried to leave her lips.
She involuntarily squeezed around him, hitting the peak of her climax, and bringing him to his own. His hands released her hips from their death grip and ran soothingly up and down her sides, feeling her feminine curves and smooth skin as he tried to bring himself down.
“God that was incredible,” she mumbled, her face still hidden by her delicate hands.
Tyler just stood there and smiled like an idiot, utterly pleased with himself and his efforts. Somehow, it seemed like every time he had her, it got a little bit better. Hesitantly, Nicki brought her hands down, as if she was afraid it wasn’t quite over. He chuckled and took in her beautiful, flushed face. As they always were after an orgasm, her cheeks and lips were a deep shade of rose, and her pretty eyes were shining a bit brighter than normal. Her full chest was still heaving, making it impossible to ignore her in all of her glory.
Just as Tyler was about to bend over and kiss her, a loud hissing noise made itself present in the room.
“Shit!” she shrieked, shoving him back, jumping off of the island, and sprinting to the stovetop, where water from the pot had boiled over and was now evaporating from the heat of the stove.
Turning down the heat, she began to laugh. “Tyler, you are such a distraction.”
He threw his hands up in retreat. “I don’t have to help. I have no problem grabbing a beer and hanging on the couch while you slave away in here.”
After ripping open a family sized box of spaghetti and letting it fall into the large, steaming pot, she turned around and walked back to him. Tyler tried to stifle a laugh; her dress was bunched up in all of the wrong places, her thong was dangling off of an ankle, and her hair somewhat resembled Cousin It. He matted down her unruly hair with his hands, smoothing it back to its original perfection.
She reached down to fix her dress, but instead of pulling up her underwear, she kicked them off.
“Oopsies.”
Tyler looked at her with frustration. She was going to spend the entire night with nothing underneath her dress, and he was going to be the only other person who knew about it. He braced himself for what was sure to be a painful evening, as if trying to reconcile with someone who currently wanted to rip his head off wouldn’t be enough to deal with.
“You suck. So. Bad,” he said, tangling his fingers in her hair, making sure not to mess it up again.
“You do know that, right?”
“Mhm.”
The smug grin on her face was surely one that he wished he could wipe off. She knew exactly how to toy with him; she could make him want to hold her and punish her and romance her all at the same time. It was excruciating, and he’d yet to figure out how to put a stop to it. Tyler spent another minute watching her while she set gathered chinaware for the dining room table, and helped her carry it in to set up.
Once everything was in its place, he took a step back. He had to hand it to her, she had a talent.
The chandelier above the large, dark table was dimmed, the soft light bouncing off of the plum colored walls. The white chinaware added an elegant contrast, and the intricate wine glasses sparkled from the flames of the candles she’d lit. In the center of the table sat a fake floral arrangement that tied together every hint of color in the entire room. It always made him proud to have guests over, to show off that he not only had money, but style.
“Ty!”
He heard his name from the kitchen and rushed in, hoping that he wouldn’t find her sprawled out
on the floor or hurt. Instead, he found her with a large strainer in her hands, standing over the sink.
“Babe, can you help me with this?” she asked over her shoulder.
“Yeah,” he said, using two small towels to grip the handles on the pot. “You ready?”
She nodded, and he lifted the heavy pot from the stove and let the water seep out slowly, afraid that some might splash and burn Nicki. They ended up completing the task successfully, and in minutes the pasta was back in its pot, being tossed around with the crimson sauce that had been simmering and steeping for the past two hours. As the steam lifted from the contents, Tyler caught a whiff of what they’d be eating for dinner that night.
“Holy shit, that smells delicious.”
Nicki giggled and came up by his side, placing an arm around his waist.
“Thanks, love. And thanks for, uh, you know,” she said with a wink.
Tyler laughed and pressed his lips to the top of her head.
“It’s pretty damn cool that you thank me for pummeling you,” he joked, earning a few more giggles from her supple lips.
“I just want to show my gratitude, that’s all.”
With that, she left a kiss on his cheek and sauntered over to the refrigerator, pulling out a salad that he hadn’t been any the wiser to. How he’d missed an enormous bowl in the middle of the fridge was beyond him, and he had to appreciate how much effort she’d put into the night they had planned. She rarely failed to amaze him, and never disappointed him. He was about to follow her into the dining room to help when the doorbell rang.
“You wanna get that babe?” she asked.
Taking a deep breath, he smoothed out his shirt and took long, concentrated strides to the front door. He realized that he had no idea what to say, and hoped that Evaline would be the first to come through the door. Grabbing the doorknob, he twisted it and invited his guests into the house.
“Hey Ty,” Evaline said, her voice even sweeter than he remembered.
She had Declan swaddled in her arms, and Tyler made sure to be extra careful as he bent down to hug her and exchange a kiss on the cheek. It had been months since she’d last been in their house, and she instantly seemed to notice the changes Nicki made.
“Wow, this place got even more beautiful,” she said under her breath. “Speaking of beautiful!”
He laughed as she waddled over to Nicki, greeting her the same way he had. Using his peripheral vision, Tyler saw Freddy step timidly through the doorway, trying not to make eye contact. The girls laughed and chatted hurriedly, as if they only had a few minutes to catch up on everything they’d missed. Nicki swooned over Declan, making sweet comments and dragging her finger along his tiny cheek.
Evaline stepped out of the way to let Freddy by, who handed Nicki a bottle of wine before trapping her in one of his monstrous hugs. It was evident on his face that he was happy to see her, but the same couldn’t be said for Tyler. The coldness was obvious, and it was so blatant he was sure that both of the girls could feel it, too.
“Evy, I wanna show you something,” Nicki said, tugging at her arm.
Before leading her up the stairs, she shot a forceful glance at both him and Freddy. Apparently, this was when they were supposed to talk. They both stood awkwardly, acknowledging each other’s presences but failing to do anything about it.
“Hey,” Tyler mumbled, in a feeble attempt to start a conversation.
“Hey,” was all he got in return.
“Listen, Freddy – “
“No, Ty, I gotta get this out.”
Taken aback by Freddy’s desperation, he cocked his head and waited.
“Man, I acted like a total dick. I mean, you did too, but I shouldn’t have held this against you. You really fucking ticked me off that day. I thought you totally lost it. Honestly, I think you did. But if Nicki forgave you, then it’s not my place to be mad at you. You know how much I care about her, she’s like a little sister to me. Watching her go through all of that, and then getting her heart broken by the one person whose job it is to make things better, it tore me apart. You weren’t there, Ty. You didn’t see her face, you didn’t hear her screaming and crying.”
“Are you trying to make me feel worse? Because it’s working.”
“Fuck, Tyler I’m sorry. That’s what I’m trying to say. I’m sorry. You’re my best friend, man. I don’t want to fight with you. This isn’t how we’re supposed to be.”
Shocked, Tyler couldn’t figure out what to say. Not in a million years had he expected Freddy to be the one apologizing.
“I’m sorry too,” he said, feeling the weights being lifted from his chest. “Can we just… put this behind us?”
“Please.”
He stepped forward, about to engage in one of their bro hugs, when a scream came from above them, followed by a baby’s wailing.
“What the fuck?!” Freddy shouted, casting a worried look up the stairs.
“Don’t worry about it,” Tyler said calmly. “Nicki’s just showing her the nursery.”
“Why would she… Is she…?”
Tyler grinned and nodded his head. “She just got through the first three months.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
He shook his head, sure that he must have been sporting an idiotic, enthralled expression. Freddy slapped his arms around him, giving him a firm pat on the back.
“Congrats, Ty. She must be so frigging happy.”
“Yeah, well, it’s not exactly how it sounds,” he murmured, pulling away from him.
“What do you mean? She okay?”
“As far as we know. We should wait, she’s probably gonna want to tell you everything herself.”
Freddy nodded and stared down at his feet.
“I’m sorry I took so long to do this,” he said quietly. “I can’t believe she’s been pregnant for three months and we didn’t even know. That’s no friendship.”
“Nah, I’m sorry too. I should have just stepped up and apologized.”
He opened his mouth to respond, but Nicki came galloping down the stairs and barreled into him.
“Hey, careful,” he warned, keeping her clumsiness in mind.
She did nothing but giggle and plant a kiss on his arm.
“Did you guys make up yet?”
“You could say that.”
Freddy took one look at Nicki before trapping her in his arms.
“Come here you little shit,” he said, his built frame overpowering her smaller one.
“I’m guessing he told you then?” she asked, hugging him back like she hadn’t seen him in years.
Evaline came slowly down the stairs, and Tyler rushed to her side to help her. Just as much as he didn’t want to see Nicki go tumbling down them, he didn’t want to see Evaline and her infant falling, either.
“Ty, I’m so happy for you guys!” she exclaimed, looking down at her own baby.
Tyler followed her gaze, taking in the beautiful little boy. So, their children most likely wouldn’t have blue eyes or dark brown hair. He was sure they would be beautiful in their own way.
“You guys ready to eat or what?” Nicki asked, now out of Freddy’s hold.
Everyone seemed to be in agreement that it was well past the time to eat. She led them into the dining room, where salad was already dished out and wine was already poured in every glass except for hers. In the corner of the room, unbeknownst to Tyler, she’d set up a highchair for Declan. Tyler didn’t ever remember buying one, and guessed that she’d purchased it particularly for this occasion.
They ate mostly in silence, each of them too hungry to hold any substantial conversation. It was rare that Nicki finished an entire salad, but Tyler watched in entertainment as she wolfed down every piece of lettuce on her plate.
“Damn Nicki, you know you don’t actually have to eat for two right? It’s just an expression…”
“Oh my God, Ty, you didn’t tell him?”
Tyler sat back in his seat. “I thought you’d want to.”
“Tell me what?” Freddy asked, his eyes darting skeptically between the two of them.
“They’re having twins, hon,” Evaline said softly.
** * *
“Well, Freddy took that relatively well,” Nicki giggled, scraping the remnants of the pasta into the trash.
Tyler came up behind her, placing his hands on her hips and pressing against her back.
“Woah, hey there,” she said, leaning into him. She rolled her shoulders back and sighed. “I can’t get enough of you lately.”
Not feeling any kind of necessity to answer, his hands slid across the fabric of her dress, coming to a rest in the middle of her stomach. His action seemed to spark something in her, as she turned quickly so that they were face to face.
“How adorable is Declan?” she asked.
“Yeah, he’s a really cute baby.”
She glanced down, and he knew right away that she’d been expecting a more excited answer.
“But ours are going to be so much cuter.”
Her eyes shot up, and a grin spread shamelessly across her face. Her lips found his in a heartbeat, and just a second later she was clinging to him with her legs around his waist. His hands moved to her bottom, where he lifted the material that covered it.
“Don’t think I forgot,” he mumbled, feeling her tremble in his arms at the sound of his low, penetrating voice. “After tomorrow, we might not have too many chances to do this anymore.”
Nicki pulled her head away from his and nodded. They both knew how drastically their lives had changed, but no matter what they’d faced before, every new obstacle seemed scarier than the last. Pushing the thoughts to the back of his mind, he reached blindly to turn off the lights in the kitchen and carried her upstairs.
Update soon!!!!! Love this story!!!!!
11/14/15