My Knight in Shining Armor

“Here we are, Valencia!” Patrick exclaims pointing up at a sign. Val skips behind Jonathan and Patrick as they enter the kingdom known only as Valencia. They stop before the welcome sign though.

“Ah yes, so how do you think this should go down?” Jonathan says, spinning around to Patrick and Val. “Should I save the kingdom and then rescue Tyler Seguin...or rescue and then save? I just want it to have a dramatic build, you know?! I mean, either way we’re all going to live happily ever after, right?”

Patrick nods. “Yup! I’m sure that’s exactly how it’s all going to be! Especially the living part, for you. No reason why you wouldn’t keep on living...your life.” He looks down at his feet.

“You know you talk, right?” Val questions, shaking his head.

“I can’t believe we’re almost there!” Jonathan sings out, looking up at the sign greeting them to the kingdom.

“Well, uh, we are here,” Val states.

Jonathan frowns. They step into the kingdom, under the sign.

“This isn’t the same Valencia I once remember.”

“So you and John...uh…?” Jonathan starts to ask, running a hand through his hair.

Patrick looks at him. “We were once friends, that’s all you need to know. Alright?”

“Fine, fine.”

“Nothing happened between John and I, okay. Geez. I’m the gay one, not John. John is just a pirate but nothing happened between us!” Patrick snaps, annoyed. He flicks his princely cape behind him and stomps ahead.

“Lovely, isn’t he?” Jonathan says. “And a little flamboyant.”

“You flamboyant too!” Val remarks. “We all flamboyant.”

“Alright, Russian that’s enough.” Jonathan runs ahead to catch up to Patrick, who is hanging his head low.

“Hey, what’s wrong? You’ve been acting so strange!” Jonathan asks, halting the prince in his steps.

Patrick turns to him. “I’m fine. It’s just that I’m worried about my parents, you know.”

Jonathan smiles sweetly at him and grabs his hand into his own. “Look, Patrick, I’m sorry about your parents, but I promise I’m here to help you out and to save my one true love Tyler.”

Patrick looks skyward and then back at Jonathan. He is torn. He really wants to tell Jonathan the truth but given that they are already this far and possibly being watched by Queen Taylor and her henchmen, he knows it is better if he doesn’t. “Look, alright, the real reason is that I don’t think you should do it all tonight...maybe Wednesday...or Thursday?”

“Uh, who has ever conducted a rescue or hero mission on a Wednesday or Thursday. No, no. I’m pretty sure they’ll be writing songs about this and I don’t know if either of those days are rhyme-y.”

“Okay, you smell! Really bad!”

“Look, I commend your attempts at flattery and trying to ensure my well-being, but Prince Patrick Kane, I am a knight and I must conduct my hero-ing…” He lifts his arm up and turns his head at once. “Alright, maybe I can get a bath.”

Patrick claps his hands. “Fantastic, I know just the place!”

They walk some more and come to a pale cathedral church in the town. They stand before the door, after Patrick knocks loudly from the ring knocker. The double door open and a group of five monks stand there. They sing a delightful tune, before the trio walk in.

“We have traveled very far and are looking for a place to rest and for this man to get a bath,” Patrick says, indicating Jonathan, who rolls his eyes.

“Can’t this have just been a normal adventure…” the knight sighs as he is grabbed by the arm and led off with Val by the monks.

Patrick stops one of the monks. “Can I, uh, get out a confession?”

The monk nods to her and they head off to a private spot. He begins to tell him or his plan and how he has been forced to lead Jonathan into a trap because of the wicked Queen, who has his parents. The monk tries to help him out and while Jonathan gets his bath and some rest, Patrick sneaks away.

The blond prince walks to the castle and enters it. He is led by a few guards to the main room where the Queen and Brad are.

“Here we go,” Brad whispers to the Queen as the door open.

“Well, well...w--” the Queen begins to say in a deep voice. She stops when she sees Patrick strut in with a stern face. “Where the hell’s Jonathan?”

“There’s been a change in plans!” Patrick says. The Queen and Brad look at her with “are you serious” looks. Patrick continues, “You’ll get the jewel or the puck and set my parents free, but Jonathan stays alive.”

“Ah, I see…how utterly predictable, the prince has fallen for the noble knight. Of course he has, a guy like that...I can’t let him live.”

“Well then the deal is off! You’ll never see the puck again!” Patrick exclaims, raising his head up proudly.

“You’re adorable,” the Queen states, touching Patrick’s chin with her hand. “No, you see, you will bring me Jonathan and the puck jewel, or else...you’ll suffer the same fate as...” She walks over to a table and rounds it to the other side, facing Patrick, who eyes him. She puts her hands on top of two silver dinner covers. She lifts them away as she exclaims, “Your parents!”

Patrick gasps in horror and screams. “NO!”

“It’s alright Patrick honey,” his father begins.

“We’re alive,” his mother finishes.

“What?” Patrick chokes out. The prince tries to calm himself and relax his beating heart. It is a cruel joke to play on him and he is still shaken.

“The Queen convinced us it would be funny,” his father continues to exclaim.

“We’ve been prisoners a long, long, long time. We’ve lost perspectives,” his mother furthers.

The Queen laughs. “You should have seen your face! You were all like...” She mimics Patrick’s shocked reaction.

Patrick frowns, unamused.

“Make no mistake, if you don’t bring me Jonathan, I will kill them. For realsies.”

Patrick gasps in horror.

Queen Taylor puts the lids down on the table and walks back around it. She comes up to the panicking Patrick. She puts an arm around Patrick’s shoulder. “Don’t play with me, dear. Now bring me Jonathan!”

She lets Patrick go and the prince scurries back out of the castle in tears. What can he do now? Patrick races back to Jonathan and Val, who are still at the cathedral. He bursts in, to find Val singing with the monks.

Jonathan spots him and pulls him over. Patrick raises an eyebrow at him. “What’s going on?”

“I’ll tell you what’s going on, our Valeri sings like an angel!”

“Okay?”

“Look, everything’s going to be alright, we’ll be fine. And this way, it’ll be our way in, I mean these guys are set to perform in the palace anyway. So we’re going to sneak in with them and infiltrate from the inside,” he explains as he fixes Patrick up in a monk outfit, putting it over his princely clothes and then grabs his monk headdress and puts it on. “Turns out you were right, as usual I needed a better plan.”

“Jonathan,” Patrick starts to say.

“I’m only human, so just let this happen, you saw the best in me and ultimately reminded me of what it means to be a real knight. And here we are, so thank you for bringing me back to me. Against all the odds, it’s uh, well it’s been a pleasure.” He finishes fixing Patrick’s outfit up, bringing his hands down around the blond’s hips. There is a slight pause, before the brunette starts off from him.

Patrick spins to him, “You really don’t have to thank me for anything. You actually have a lot of nice qualities. All on your own.”

Jonathan chuckles. “Careful Prince Patrick--”

“Please, just call me Patrick.”

“You’re getting dangerously close to paying me a compliment.”

Patrick walks up to Jonathan and starts fixing his outfit up now as he says, “Alright, I can do compliments, I mean you know your way around a horse, you’re not so bad with a sword, and your beard magically stays the same length all the time. And you have an ability to see the best in people, even after they’ve wronged you.” They gaze into each others eyes for a split second, before Patrick adds on, “Like with Tyler Seguin.”

“Right, Tyler Seguin.”

“Oh man, this robe really itchy me right now!” Val exclaims, coming back in and interrupting their moment. “Oh, you left clothes on underneath. Right. Oops.” He walks off.

Patrick looks at Jonathan, struggling to hold back a smile at that. Jonathan turns back to him but the moment has passed. He walks by the prince and grabs his sword up and then exits with a wink. Patrick looks quiltily at him.

They soon leave the cathedral and walk toward the castle with the monks, keeping low and to their plan. Patrick’s stomach turns inside of him.

“Alright Prince, you ready to get your kingdom back?” Jonathan asks as they stop and break from the monk finally. They lower their hoods finally.

“I’ve been thinking, I can get another kingdom, it’s a prized market right now. Let’s just free my parents, get Tyler and get out of here,” Patrick pleads.

“Absolutely not. When I make a promise I keep it,” Jonathan states. “We’re going to get your kingdom back!”

“But--”

“Once the concert starts, we’re going to have an hour to move about the castle. Where do you think they’re keeping your parents?”

“Perhaps they’re up your butt!” Brad’s voice snarls, causing the trio to spin around to him. He is standing on the stairs behind where they had broken off from the monks to talk. “Because that’s the--most unlikely place...I mean obviously your parents couldn’t be up your--well, well, well...oh, it’s too late, I did the stupid butt joke! I should’ve followed Queen Taylor’s commands. Damn it, guards, just seize them!”

At once a swarm of guards instructed by the lead guard, Brad races in and surrounds them. Jonathan unsheathes his sword and begins to battle away at the guards valiantly. He fends them off and then turns back, pointing his sword at Brad, who has grabbed Patrick and is holding a sword to his throat.

“It’s your move, Jonathan, cause I haven’t killed anyone all day!” Brad sneers. “So what’s it gonna be?”

“Fine.” Jonathan throws his sword to the ground in surrender.

“Jonathan, no!” Patrick screams.

“Нет! (No!)” Val cries out in unison with Patrick.

Jonathan is grabbed by two guards at once by the arms. “Now let him go! He had nothing to do with this!”

Brad reaches into Patrick’s cloak and withdraws the bag holding the golden hockey puck in it. “You are so noble and yet the men (and women) in your life never seem to honor that nobility,” the lead guard sneers as he pockets the puck and presses the blade deeper against Patrick’s neck. “In fact this one, tricked you into coming all the way here so Taylor could kill you. Or rather probably have me kill you!”

Brad drops the sword and lets Patrick dart forward. He takes the bag with the puck jewel in it and empties it into his hand and studies it. He is making sure that it is the right object that the Queen desires.

“What?” Jonathan questions.

“Well, well, well, looks like it’s time for dinner,” another voice sneers. Queen Taylor comes down the steps and joins Brad, who passes her the puck and the bag. She takes it, smirking. “Hello again Jonathan, dear. Nailed it, Brad. See, that’s how the ‘well, well, well’ villain thing works.”

“Boom!” the lead guard responds with a ‘yeah!’ expression.

Patrick shakes his head, horrified, as Jonathan glances between the Queen, Brad and Patrick.

“I heard the butt joke thing by the way. Tie their hands and take them to the dungeons,” Queen Taylor passively orders. “I don’t want them escaping too soon, especially that one.” She nods to Jonathan, who glares at her and Patrick.

Val is grabbed by two guards now, his arms wrenched up before him and bound together by rope. And Brad grabs Patrick once again, binding his wrists together. The guard whispers something to Patrick, whose mouth drops open with shock and he kicks at Brad, who just laughs and shoves him forward, after Jonathan, who is shoved off by his two guards after his wrists are bound together as well.

“But...what the--? How?” the knight stammers.

“He may not be able to talk, but I can,” Val states as he joins up with Patrick. “This is messed up Prince Patrick!”

They are led toward a dungeon cell and shoved inside of it roughly.

“I didn’t have a choice, she was going to kill my parents!” Patrick pleads.

“Shut up!” Brad groans as he shoves Patrick into the small barred cell. “Well, it seems like you kids have lots to talk about. I’ll let you get to it! Oh but do hurry, the Queen isn’t patient and she’s going to execute Jonathan shortly.” Brad snorts with amusement. “It’s nice to finally have people down here. It feels much more ‘lived in’.”

Brad walks off to join Queen Taylor, placing guards behind to watch over the prisoners. He vanishes, cackling evilly.

As soon as he leaves, Patrick faces Jonathan and Val. Jonathan is staring out the bars to the side of the cell. Val is working at the ropes around his hands. “I’m so sorry, I wanted to tell you but...I…”

“But what?” Jonathan snaps, turning to face him now. “You didn’t have time? And the hundreds of miles we traveled, all the meals we shared,” He walks toward the upset prince.

“In all, (retrospect) the trip through the forest of honesty would have seemed like appropriate time…” Val says, giving the prince a hard look before returning to work at the ropes.

“But my parents...?” Patrick defends.

“Well perhaps if you had told me, we could have made a plan,” Jonathan says.

“And you would’ve helped me?” Patrick asks, on the verge of tears. “Even if you had nothing to gain from it?”

“I guess we’ll never find out…” Jonathan turns from him and faces the bars, staring out of them before he spins back to face the prince. “If even a single ounce of you is real, just tell me one thing, did Tyler Seguin want me to come for him?”

Two guards walk toward the cell and begin to unlock the door. Jonathan is too heartbroken though to even respond or try anything hero-y.

“I don’t know,” Patrick honestly replies.

Jonathan looks at him, slightly stunned some more as a black bag is put over his head by the guards and he is dragged from the cell.

“No. NO! JONATHAN!” Patrick shouts, grabbing the bars and shaking them in horror.

Notes

Uh oh....now the real fun begins...
Is Jonny gonna get executed? Where is he going?


Next up: I love you, as much as someone like me can love anyone!