My Knight in Shining Armor

Queen Taylor has tried to be nice to Tyler Seguin. She takes him out of the palace and tries to make conversation with him, but he remains distant and uncaring. Today, she goes to his room, finding Jamie Benn the Jester in the room. Jamie dips his head to her and looks very uncomfortable. Taylor doesn’t indulge him and ignores his behavior. She knows that Jamie is only there to make Tyler happy. It isn’t like she can do anything to take away that happiness.

Taylor has made it a priority to make Tyler happier. And yet it hasn’t worked at all. She wonders why Jamie is always with Tyler.

“Tyler, my sweet King, are you ready to go?”

“I’ll be right there. I’m putting on my pants.” A few seconds pass by and Tyler comes out of the shadows wearing black pants and a black tank top that shows off his muscular arms. Taylor blushes.

“That’s just the look that made me fall head-over-heels for you,” Taylor remarks.

Tyler folds his arms. “Are we gonna go or not? I’m not in the mood for another two-hour ‘date’...unless of course Jamie can come along.” He looks at the Jester and bats his eyelashes.

Taylor grabs his chin and forces his head back to face hers. “No. Jamie’s staying here. What is it with you two that you’re hiding from me?”

“Nothing, I just like how he crafts a joke. Now let’s go and get this stupid outing over with. Not sure why you do this to me anyway...it’s no better than being locked up in isolation.” Tyler jerks his head free and storms past Taylor and the guards.

“Brad! Follow him.” Taylor flicks her hand at the lead guardsman.

Brad obeys the order and quickly exits. He catches Tyler by the arm before he can make it any further.

“Unbelievable that you people still don’t trust me!” Tyler spits.

Brad gets into his face. “I’d behave, if I were you.”

“Oh, the threats again, that’s refreshing. Really haven’t missed those! Let go of me Brad, you’re nothing but a Queen’s chewtoy!” Tyler snaps.

“Shut the hell up!” Brad yanks him off, heading down the hall.

Taylor gathers her senses. She looks to Jamie, who is still awkwardly standing in his spot, unsure what to do. She gives him a dirty look and then shakes her head and storms back out of the room. The door slams shut behind her. She follows her lead guard henchman and her husband out to the carriage.

Tyler fights Brad the whole way, but is shoved into the small carriage and almost immediately joined by Taylor and Brad. “If you really wanted me happy, Taylor, you’d have left me in my room.”

Taylor rolls her eyes. “The more you fight, the more I’ll be tempted to throw you in the dungeon with your sweet ex-knight, Jonathan and his little pals! So, be thankful that you’re at least getting air and not being punished. Cause I won’t hesitate to punish you!”

Tyler folds his arms once more and leans back into the seat. “Jamie’s better than you.”

They spend an hour riding through the kingdom and going to the lake and then going horseback riding. Even though Tyler is controlled by Brad, under his surveillance. The young king longs and wishes to be back with Jamie though. As they finish up the riding, Tyler spots Brad looking at him with a lust in his eyes. The man smirks and oogles him and Tyler makes sure to call him out for it. Of course, the man vehemently denies it.

They soon make it back to the palace and Tyler is returned to his room. He finds Jamie inside, hiding and waiting for him. Tyler goes through his mundane act, before he’s locked in the room once more.

“Oh Jamie, I missed you so!” Tyler cries, running to the arms of the Jester, who steps out of his hiding place behind the bed and curtain.

“And I you, Tyler…” Jamie says. He begins to kiss Tyler’s lips and they soon devour one another’s mouths as they stumble back to the bed. Tyler yelps as he falls back with Jamie on top of him. “Oh God, you taste like Heaven! And that’s no joke!”

Tyler moans into Jamie’s mouth. “You too! Take me Jamie...have me! I’m yours!”


Taylor turns to Brad and shrugs. “I know you were oogling my husband Brad, do that again - even if it is meant to tease him - and I’ll throw you in the dungeons. You’re a loyal man, Brad and I’m thankful for your loyalness, but no one double-crosses me. Not anymore.”

“I understand. I’ll control myself Taylor.”

“Good.”

Brad dips his head and walks down the hall. Taylor sighs and watches him leave. Then she spins back to the door and looks at it, before she launches into song:

“My husband's a wimp.
My henchman are simply useless.
The servants and staff are inbreeds and half-wits too.”

Taylor walks down the hall toward her room and enters it. She leans against the doors to her room, as she deflates with exhaustion and sings,

“Oh god, how I need someone here.
Willing to get things done here.
Someone who shares my point of view.
But who?”

Queen Taylor sighs, sits down at her desk and dramatically deflates in her seat, dropping her head into her arms. Suddenly, Tyler’s reflections start talk back to her from the mirrors on the desk. She lifts her head back up. They sing to her, saying,

“It's you.
No one but you.
No one's as smart.
And hard of heart.
And looks the part.
Like you.”

“Who'd pull off a coup d'état like you?
While rocking a push-up bra like you?
Well here's a clue.
No one but you.
And you. And you. And you.”

In Tyler’s room, he breaks from Jamie, jumping off the bed. He launches into singing:

"It's me.
No one but me.
No one's as smart.
And hard of heart.
And looks the part.
Like me.

Who'd pull off a coup d'état like me?
While rocking a teen star haircut like me?
Well here's a clue.
No one but me.”

Tyler chuckles, placing his tiara crown on his desk. From the bed, Jamie strips his clothes as he sings:

"There's nobody who could be like you
While making his subjects drool at you
While tough to the core like you
Let's face it, who's more like you than you?”

Tyler stips his shirt off and launches back to the bed and dives onto it, rejoining a shirtless Jester.

“No one but me.
Nobody wheels,
And double deals,
With killer ideals,
Like me."

Taylor and Tyler sing in unison in their separate rooms:

“Well don't look so shocked.
No need to concoct excuses.
A bottom this tight, why,
Power's your rightful due.”

Taylor’s reflections, Jamie and Brad (as a voice) sing, “It's true. You know it, too.”

Taylor gets up from her desk and struts across her room, to a mirror, singing:

“And frankly upon reflection.
Given such sheer perfect.
Someone should take the cue.
Guess who.”

Taylor’s reflections sing, “Guess who.”

Taylor sings, while she admires herself in the mirror,

“It's me.
No one but me.
Nobody wheels.
And double deals.
In killer heels.
Like me.”

As Taylor starts twirling and dancing about the room like Madelana from Galavant did during this song, Taylor’s reflections sing back with,

“There's nobody who could rule like you.
While making her subjects drool at you.
While tough to the core like you.
Let's face it, who's more like you than you?
No one but you.”

Meanwhile, back in his room, Tyler rises up like a circus seal on the bed and sings,

“Who has the brains.
To break his chains.”

Taylor touches her crown and sings, “And seize the reign?”

Taylor’s reflections and Jamie sing,

“Yeah, you!
It's been quite the social climb for you.
And honey, at last, it's time for you.
So, answer the call for you.
And go take it all for you.
Who else is going to?
No one but you…”

Taylor’s reflections all shout at her as she struts through a series of mirrors and back out of her room, “Get it, girl! You the queen! Go get em, gal! Teach him who’s boss!” Taylor, with a new purpose storms to the main room in the palace where Brad and all of her henchman and guards are.

“And who can score a goal like me too, eh?” Tyler returns to making out with Jamie, chuckling and finally appearing to be happy.

Notes

Tyler Seguin. This mental image cracks me the hell up. I need to see this happen now. Just Tyler singing his part...oh man...
I was originally gonna have this whole thing be reworked, but with the same tune and have it be Tyler singing, but then I thought it would be cool like this. So...viola! And boy, does it work for a laugh. This whole story is hilarious and fucked up. XP


Next up: Guess what? Kazer.