Holly POV

“I’m sorry what?” Jamie said and sat up abruptly.
“I think I should go with her,” I said a little less confidently then I said only seconds before. Jamie scratched his head and I knew what he was doing and it just made me angry.
“Speak your mind Jamie” I said frustrated. Every since everything happened Jamie was always on eggshells when we got into arguments. He was scared that he would say something to send me back into that dark state.
“I’m just scared that going back there and dealing with Sara’s stuff with her will umm”
“Say it Jamie” I said with tears of frustration on the brinks of falling.
“I’m scared you’ll go back to how you were after we lost the baby okay? Is that what you wanted to hear? That I worry everyday that I’m going to lose you like that again?” he said his voice rising like I hadn’t heard in a while.
“Jamie I’ll be okay” I said moving closer to him but he moved back.
“How am I going to know that when you’re thousands of miles away? You know losing the baby didn’t only hurt you?” He said quietly. He sat on the bed and put his head in his hands. “Do you know the amount of anxiety I feel when I go on road trips? When I’m not with you I’m constantly in a state of worry that something will happen to you. I love you so fucking much Holly that the idea of not having you around drives me crazy. I would give up everything if someone could promise me that you’d be okay”
“Jamie I understand and I love you too but I don’t want you to worry okay? I’m okay, I’m more than okay,” I said while sitting next to him and grabbing his big hand in my small one and bringing it up to my lips. “Do you know what pulled me out of that darkness Jamie?” He shook his head. “I watching one of your games at the end of the season and you guys needed the point, you needed the win. You guys were in overtime and you scored this amazing goal and the camera zoomed in on your face and I could see how purely happy and excited you were and then something weird happened. For the first time in months I felt so happy, I was so happy I started laughing uncontrollable. I was so happy to see you happy because it reminded me of us, the happiness we gave each other, I was tired of out house being so quiet and lifeless.”
"When I came home from that game I thought I was dreaming. I could smell the chocolate chip cookies even outside the door. Walking into that kitchen and seeing you dancing around made me so damn happy" he said wrapping his arm around my shoulder.
"I was happy too" I said kissing his cheek " I am happy" I added while resting my head on his shoulder. We sat there for what seemed like a long time and I knew he was thinking about everything.
"Talk to Sara and we'll see what happens from there" he said after a while. I knew this wasn't the end of the discussion but I had to talk to Sara first.
Sara POV
I woke up with my head on Tyler’s warm chest. He was fast asleep and I couldn’t really blame him. I crawled out of bed and tip toed out of the room not wanting to disturb him. The house was quiet, almost eerily quiet. The door to Jamie and Holly’s room was closed and I couldn’t hear any noise. I was about to go downstairs to make some breakfast when the closed door caught my eye, the door that Holly was so mysterious about. I stood with my hand on the handle, I knew Holly would probably be mad if I went in there but I had to know what she didn’t want to tell me about. I decided to open the door and what I saw on the other side was not something I was prepared for.
The room was a light yellow colour and decorated with animals on the walls. There was a crib in the corner and frames on the bureau with ultra sound pictures. I moved over to the crib, which had a small Stars jersey folded over the edge. I walked over to the rocking chair in the corner where there was a picture of Holly and Jamie, they both had their hands on Holly’s pregnant stomach. My eyes started to tear up as the pieces fell together. It was only when I looked at the ultrasound picture and saw Jacob Noah Benn October 5th – March 3rd on it that I understood.
“He would have been almost a year old” Holly’s voice broke the silence in my room.
“Holls I’m so sorry” I said putting the frame down and walking over to her “why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you call me?”
“ What did you want me to say? You were on tour, I wasn’t going to make you come home for me,” she said and my heart broke. I had no hesitation when I decided to call Holly, why did she hesitate to call me when she was stuck?
“I would have been there for you” I whispered.
“Sara I think you have to go home, I think you need to fix your stuff instead of running from it” she said holding me at arms length from her. I could see her scanning my face for something.
“You kicking me out?” I said in shock.
“No not at all” she said with a weak grin “I’m gonna come home with you Sa, were going to fix this together” she said squeezing my arm. She had no idea what she was getting herself into.

Notes

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