Fuck. Two losses. Two shutouts. Two fucking shut out losses. This wasn't what I was planning on for my first trip to the Stanley Cup Finals. To say that I wasn't frustrated would be an understatement. The dressing room was quite, the only sounds were Velcro’s from equipment being torn off. I wasn't the only one who was frustrated; but maybe I was the one taking it the hardest.

The media was absolutely brutal. I could tell by the way they danced around their questions they didn't think we deserved to be here. Some pitied me; others I could sense were laughing on the inside. All I knew for sure? I really needed to pick up my team for game three.

The city of Dallas didn't deserve this. I couldn't let them down for game three like I had for the first two games. We let our city down; I let the city down; and the team.

Unlike usual, I was the first one out of the dressing room. I couldn't stand to be in that arena anymore; I just wanted to go back to the AAC. I needed to practice; I needed to study; I needed to be better.

Throwing myself into my seat on the bus to wait for the rest of the team, I closed my eyes and sighed in frustration. I felt the weight of my phone in my pocket, and my heart immediately sank in my chest. Amidst the two brutal losses, I had completely forgotten to call Haley.

I know, I know that sounds terrible. But I was so focused on hockey! I needed to win; I needed my head in the game… And out of anyone in my life, she always was one to understand that. It wouldn't be the first time; I guess I'm the type who shuts down and shuts people out when I'm upset, or angry or frustrated. I was lucky my girlfriend was understanding.

“Ready to get home?” Tyler asked, taking his seat next to me.

“You've got no idea” I grumbled miserably.

“I know this probably isn't the way you envisioned the first two games of your first Stanley cup finals” Tyler half heartedly smiled, trying to make light of the situation. I appreciated that he was trying, but nothing could make the sting of this go away; absolutely nothing.

“Not exactly” I answered honestly.

“You know you can't just shut people out when you're angry or upset, right?” Tyler told me out of the blue.

“We'll- I know?” It came out as more of a question than anything; what the hell? Where was this coming from?

“Good” he replied, before slipping some head phones in and closing his eyes.


I spent the ride to the airport, and the flight home replaying Tyler's words over and over in my head.

“You know you can't just shut people out when you're angry or upset, right?”

Did he know I hadn't called my own girlfriend since I had left? I didn't even deem it necessary to send her a text to let her know I arrived safely? I was a jerk. I knew it, and fuck Haley knew it too. I sighed, realizing in had made a stupid decision.

Regardless of how badly I'm playing, how poorly the team is doing, or how much were losing; I still love her; and she deserves better than someone who shuts her out once the team starts losing.

Once the plane had landed, which was filled with another silent ride, I found myself stuck in my thoughts on the drive home with Tyler. I caught his eye, and could tell her knew what was going on inside my head.

“You're welcome”

“For what?” I asked, confused.

“For making you realize how stupid you were being” he replied, as if the answer was obvious.

“Better late than never I guess” I muttered angrily.

“Don’t beat yourself up, Haley's a smart girl. You're a pretty lucky guy” Tyler assured me, as we finally arrived in front of our apartment. I looked across the hall and sighed heavily; I needed to apologize.

“I'm gonna go over and talk to her in a sec, I just have to pee” I excused myself and Tyler snickered, shaking his head. I figured he'd want to see Erica anyway! It didn't take long before I was ready to head back across the hall. I was about to open the door when I stopped in my tracks; I could hear Haley's voice.

“Hey Ty” Erica spoke with a meek smile.

“Haley- shit are you okay?” I heard Tyler ask; I felt my heart begin to beat faster; was she really noticeably upset I hadn't made an effort? I felt even more terrible than I had a second ago.

“Not overly” She laughed. I could tell by the sound of her laugh how much she was breaking. . “My dad passed away the other night.” Oh. My. God. I felt as if my heart was going to break out of my chest. Her father had died? The other night?

Holy fuck. I had been so absorbed in hockey I didn't even know her father had passed away. I wanted to barge into the hallway; to hold her; to apologize to her; to tell her I was there for her and that I loved her; but I couldn't get my feet to move.

“Oh my god- I'm so sorry” Tyler muttered softly, the surprise of her statement evident in his tired voice.

“I- uh, it's been a long day- I'm gonna head to bed” She mumbled softly, offering Erica and Tyler a weak smile before heading back onto her apartment.

“I'll be in in a moment” Erica told her softly, before watching Haley disappear into the darkness of her apartment. “She's been at work since 8 am; she wasn't going to leave but I finally talked some sense into her” Erica told Tyler once she was certain Haley was out of earshot. I remained in my place; would they talk about how much of an asshole I was?

“Jamie's going to freak when he finds out” Tyler answered back with worry. That's an understatement, my friend.

“Why?”

“He's already beating himself up over not calling when he was gone. Now he's got this weighing on his conscious” Tyler took the words right out of my mouth.

“Ty, he didn't know her father died” Erica told him gently. “If he had, we know where he'd be right now” she smiled reassuringly. He nodded solemnly, the pair stepping closer and closer together.

“I missed you” Tyler breathed, causing my jaw to almost hit the floor; I knew it!

“I missed you too” she answered back, the pair pulling in for a kiss.

As happy as I was for them, I had a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. Did I try and get Haley to talk to me tonight? Or do I wait? Too many thoughts swirled through my mind, I knew what I had to do.

“Sorry to interrupt this obvious exchange between people who are not dating, but I need some advice” I announced my presence. They partially jumped apart, guilty expressions on their faces.

“How- uh- long were you standing there?” Tyler asked, scratching the back of his neck.

“Long enough” I told him with a knowingly look. He understood what I meant; he knew I was standing to hear the entire encounter with Haley. “I screwed up. What do I do?”

“You go to her” Erica spoke the words I had been dying to hear, yet so afraid to do.

“What if she doesn't even want to see me?” I asked the question that had bothered me since I sat on the bus.

“She'll be mad you didn't come to her when you found out her father died, regardless if she may not want to see you right now” Tyler spoke up, taking the words right out of Erica's mouth; when did he become such an expert?

“Wow, Tyler” Erica arched an eyebrow, impressed.

“Why the tone of surprise?” He snickered with a wink.

“Okay, I'll go” I brushed past the pair of them, standing in front of the open door. With a rush of confidence, I made my way to Haley's room; she needed me.

Notes

only a few chapters left :( thinking about another story to write when I'm finished :)
thanks for reading!