‘Jamie’s POV’

The hurt, the pain, the worry it was all clearly shown on Kieran’s face as she lightly hugged me goodbye. When she slipped out the door I knew that she was probably crying again. Again, as if she had stopped crying for longer than 20 minutes in the last 36 hours. She was a mess, hell I’m a mess too and here I am off to go play non-stop hockey for the next 12 days leaving her to nothing but her thoughts. And those were dangerous right now. It was clear we were at a standstill neither of us knew what to do or say, those words in the kitchen were the most civil things we had spoken to one another since returning home from the bar.

Looking out the window as the plane sailed out of the United States and into my homeland of Canada I tried hard to focus on the upcoming games and seeing my family tomorrow. But my mind had other plans. It could only think of the heartbroken red head back in Texas, and the last thing she had said to me. “I love you.” It was quiet, but I heard it and for the first time I didn’t say it back.

I let her walk away without saying I love you, I left for 12 days in the middle of a fight without giving her any glimmer of hope that we were going to be okay. I squeezed my eyes tight, rubbing my face with my hands “Shit, I messed up.” I mumbled hoping Tyler was still asleep next to me, unfortunately his eyes met mine with a questioning look.

Pulling out my iPhone I was immediately thankful that the team plane had Wi-Fi and that Steve Jobs had invented the iMessage. Opening up Kieran’s message feed I typed out a short and simple text before trying to catch some sleep. *I love you too.*

‘Kieran’s POV’

As suspected my coworkers were very concerned with my bloodshot eyes and spaced out thoughts, I shrugged them off not wanting them to know what was going on at home. I went on with my day as normal as I could trying not to think about Jamie and focus on the tasks at hand. It was much harder than anticipated. Down time between patients became time for me to close my red-rimmed eyes and try to relax, I sat in my small office head resting on the wooden desk taking calming deep breaths that they teach you in yoga. In and out, clearing my mind until I heard my phone ding in my scrub pocket.

I expected it to be from Lauren, she had checked on me multiple times and I only gave her short responses. I knew she was going to show up the house eventually and make me spill the beans, but to my surprise it wasn’t Lauren. It was Jamie. Four words followed by a period, a short but to the point message. It was a small light at the end of the dark tunnel we had been in for that past 3 days, a glimmer of hope that what we were doing could be fixed. I didn’t respond to the message, mostly because I didn’t know how but I was just happy he had sent it. He heard me this morning and he still loved me, and right now that’s what I needed to hear, well I guess read.

---

Tuesday night as suspected Lauren barged into the house wine in hand to listen to be cry while we watched the Stars game. Being that the team was playing in Vancouver, the closest team to Jamie’s hometown I had received messages from his parents and sister wishing I was at the game. They obviously were in the dark to the current situation, as were my parents and I hoped it would stay that way. The Stars looking lagging and Jamie wasn’t playing very well during the first period, the Cannucks were leading 2-1. Initially I hoped it was just nerves but as the game progressed I knew it was the fight that was affecting the captain. We needed to sort through some of this before the rest of the roadtrip.

During the first intermission I sent a message to Jamie, he normally didn’t check his phone but in light of our current state I figured he would.

*Focus on the game Jamie, if you want we should talk this out tonight. I can’t be the reason you tank this roadtrip. –K*

It was read and the bubbles appeared but there was never a response. When the players reappeared on the ice it was like a whole other team had come to town, taking charge over the Cannucks. When the final horn blew signally a 4-3 win Lauren was asleep on the opposite end of the couch. I was tired too but I wanted to wait and see if Jamie was going to talk to me. I nudged her awake and forced her up the stairs to the guest room, she could just borrow some of my scrubs for tomorrow perks of basically being twins.

An hour passed as I sat in my bedroom, Jamie’s side of the bed empty and cold. Knox had followed Lauren upstairs earlier and slept with her instead of me leaving me completely alone. I left my phone on loud as I watched an episode of Scandal, the clock next to my bed alerted me that it was well past 1 am and Jamie had yet to call. He wasn’t stupid he knew I had to work in the morning, so for the fourth night in a row I went to sleep in an empty bed with an aching heart.

Notes

Girls Night

Way to go Jamie... Somebody needs to make the first move!
Who's it going to be?! xoxo -Ally