Never Let Go.

‘Jamie’s POV’

Being married to a veterinarian is a journey in itself, Kieran works in a clinic but that doesn’t mean she can’t have emergencies including births, sporadic injuries, and sudden deaths. Last week she got a call at 4 am for a horse who was in distress giving birth, so off she went to a farm on the outskirts of town to save the day. With an unpredictable schedule like that when Kieran comes home from work I never know what her mood will be like. We’re quite the pair right? Both of us having jobs that screw with our emotions. The only solid in her job is that she probably smells like an animal of some sort.

Here lately Kieran’s emotions have been a little more on edge than usual. Maybe it’s just that time of the month but if I have to witness one more meltdown over putting a dog down I might just lose it myself. So when the door closed in the kitchen that connects to the garage and I can hear a sniffle as she saunters through the kitchen I know it’s another one of those days.

I prepare myself taking a deep breath as she comes into the living room, I just got home from a roadtrip today and I can tell she’s been holding this one in for a while. “Hey babe, you okay?” she just shakes her head her red hair a mess. As she crawls into my lap the waterworks begin, her whole body shaking as she sobs into my shoulder. Here we go again, I think to myself. Through the sobs I piece together the struggles of the last 3 days, apparently it’s been hell at Hillside lately.

Kieran’s lost 3 dogs and a horse just this morning, “I-I could have saved them,” she chokes out and I have no clue what to tell her. I’m no doctor, but I know Kieran doesn’t do anything half ass so if she lost her patients she had to of tried everything before it was too late. “You tried Kier, you tried.” My shirt is soaked but if she needs to cry I’ll let her, at least I can still see the TV around her small frame as she’s wrapped herself around me like a koala bear.

It takes a while but she eventually pulls herself together, I actually thought she had fallen asleep on my shoulder after she stopped sobbing and shaking but I was wrong. Raising her head up she notes the dark area on my shirt that was once heather grey, “Sorry J,” cupping her tear streaked face I kiss her lightly, “It’s just a shirt babe, do you feel better?” She shrugs climbing off my lap as I pull the shirt over my head, she takes it with her upstairs to change out of her scrubs. I can only hope that when she returns my happy wife is back too, tonight is supposed to be fun not full of tears unless you know they’re out of fear after all it's Halloween.

‘Kieran’s POV’

Climbing into the glass shower I let the hot water pound down on top of me. While washing my hair I can’t help but wonder what the hell is wrong with me? I knew going into this field that I would lose patients often. It’s just part of life and animals are very susceptible to disease, so why were these deaths getting to me so bad? Maybe it was because that horse belonged to a little girl with red hair like mine, and because those three dogs hadn’t lived to their full potential one of them even resembled our little Knox. For some reason it has all hit me hard here lately.

After showering I got dressed in leggings and a Halloween t-shirt, it was almost time for Trick-or-Treaters to show up. Nothing says Happy Halloween like a mental breakdown huh? Taking some deep breaths before descending the stairs I slapped a smile on my face, move on Kieran I told myself. Move on.

Back downstairs Jamie was finishing up dinner with Knox at his feet whining for food as usual. “Come here Knoxious, it’s time for your costume!” Jamie laughs, “Poor boy.” He thinks that Knox’s costume is ridiculous but I think that it’s adorable. The small dog slides his way across the hardwood floor landing at my feet, “Good boy, Knoxers.” Like a trooper Knox lets me dress him up as a leprechaun complete with a hat and beard, perks of having a small dog I guess! It's too cute not to post to Instagram, "Our fur child's costume on point! Happy Halloween from Knox!"

After eating and flipping our front porch light for the trick-or-treaters on Jamie turns the TV to a Saw movie to watch in between visitors. There aren’t many kids in our neighborhood but almost all of the team kid’s swing by including our sweet niece Josie, Jordie and Jess’ newborn daughter. She’s only a month old but she’s probably the cutest candy corn I’ve ever seen! Between Josie and Finley’s cuteness they’re not helping the ever growing case of baby fever that Jamie has.

At 10 PM the law in Dallas states that trick-or-treating is over meaning that all of the candy left in the bowl is mine! After turning the light off and taking off Knox’s costume I curl up on the couch in Jamie’s lap with a handful of M&M’s. As Saw III plays on the television screen I suddenly realize why my hormones have been on a rollercoaster. I am late. My eyes grow wide at the realization and if I wasn’t already pale enough I’m sure I just dropped a few shades. Thankfully Jamie’s too focused on the TV to notice my sudden nervousness and rapid heart rate. His concentration is a good thing because I want to know for sure before I worry him. Tomorrow, tomorrow I’ll figure all of this out.

Notes

Dun, dun, dun... Are we ready for a Benny baby?! ;) xoxo - Ally

halloween