A Second Chance at Love

I slammed the door to the place and paced the room. I needed to get away from the house and quickly. I was sliding off the deep end, with no one there to catch me. The divorce was bad enough, I thought I’d never recover when I got slapped with those papers.

Yet here I am, feeling worse than I ever have. I had nobody but myself to blame, I ruined her. I ruined us. I hated Jordan Staal and more than anything in this world I wanted to strangle him until he begged for his life. I had never felt like this in my life. I was normally even-tempered, never having grudges or scores to settle.

I actually came to this hotel hoping to calm myself down but the silence infuriated me further. I had Claude watching the boys, all four of them. Raina could barely keep her head lifted as she sobbed while I told her the news that would break her heart. The two lives we created together inside of her, a now broken woman.

I sat down and tried to figure out where it had all went so wrong. I knew when I met her she was special. She had a smile that could make anyone happy and people just seemed drawn to her. Hell even my captain seemed in love with her, completely flying off the handle when he found out I had cheated on her.

I didn’t set out to do it. It happen during a haze of rage and alcohol. The picture of Jordan and her kissing made me lose it. It didn’t matter how or why at the time, just the fact that it happened made me crazy. I couldn’t understand how she could hurt me, or embarrass me like that. She tried to get me to calm down outside of the restaurant and wait until we were alone to discuss things. I couldn’t even look at her. I knew Jordan was obsessed with her, I just never expected her to reciprocate.

I hit the club hard last night downing shots under the watchful eyes of Jeff. I guess Mike thought he was cute, running to Raina’s side and sending Jeff after me to make sure I didn’t screw up. Four shots in and I didn’t feel any better. Carcillo was beside me at the bar like a devil on my shoulder.

We ended up at a strip club in downtown Philadelphia. Jeff bailed, claiming he wasn’t getting the blame for this. Claude stayed, remaining quiet as Dan and I toasted shots and threw dollars at cheap whores, one of which would not leave me alone. She wasn’t attractive, but she was assertive.

She sat on my lap and begged me to take my frustration out on her. Several drinks later I was following her back to her apartment. I slammed her against the wall in her living room and kissed her roughly gripping her by her ass. She went right for my zipper and I let her, pulling her hair as she let my dick slide into her throat. I pulled her up and bent her over the sectional ramming into her. I left as soon as it was over, puking in the alley behind her place.

I called Ville as I was walking out, begging him to pick me up. He obliged and I barely made it onto the couch at home to pass out.

When I woke up today, I realized what happened. Not only did I cheat on her, I just missed our ultrasound appointment we had talked about for months. After meeting with the guys this afternoon, I knew I had to come clean to her. I went and told her everything, she fell apart.

It was heart-breaking to know I had caused her that much pain. She finally threw me out, giving me the ring back tonight when she stopped over. It sent me over the edge, I shattered the shower doors in my bathroom, the only room I could lock myself in away from the boys.

After bandaging my hand, I went downstairs and told Claude I needed to get out for a while. I walked out the front door and drove for two hours until I ended up here.

I didn’t know what to do. I loved her, surprisingly considerably after such a short time. We weren’t together long when we found out she was pregnant with the twins, but it didn’t matter. I knew she was a good mom and myself and the boys adored her.

I laid down, closing my eyes, my hand throbbing in pain. I had no idea how to fix any of this. Hell, I was terrible at trying to fix stuff. My first marriage crumbled before my very eyes. I couldn’t fix that, I sure as heck was going to have a hard time with this.

I groaned remembering my mom was at the house, not only losing the support of my fiancee but now I had to worry about my mom, whom I’d sure will be disgusted. I couldn’t even imagine how many times she has tried calling me to curse me. I turned the phone off when I left the house. I slept for a few hours and didn’t feel so hung over when I woke up.

In fact, I woke up with resolve. I had a dream while I slept and it made me realize what I needed to do. In my dream, a little girl kept approaching me everywhere I went. She offered me her hand, wordlessly gripping mine as she dragged me through a maze of houses and buildings, plays, sporting events, school dances and vacations. I couldn’t figure out why the little girl kept doing it.

She didn’t slow down enough for me to really see what was going on at all these places, and she didn’t look at me at all. After the third time of me being pulled through this maze I asked the little girl who she was and why she kept dragging me along.

She looked at me, with her innocent child-like face and asked “Daddy, don’t you remember me.” I stumbled back, realizing she looked exactly like me, with Raina’s hazel eyes. I woke up in a cold sweat, panting.

I knew what I had to do. I was in love with Raina and in love with our family. I had screwed up, but I knew in time, she would come to forgive me. I didn’t care if it took five days or five years. I didn’t care if she turned me down a hundred times, I promised myself I would be right there asking for the hundred and first time, praying she would take me back.

I knew there was nobody else in the world that would make me feel as complete as she did. She made me feel complete. I loved nothing more than coming home from a long road trip and into her arms. I loved to watch her treat the boys just like her own, smiling and laughing all while making sure they were growing up to be good men with solid values.

I knew she would take care of the twins, nurturing them and helping them grow and succeed. I got up out of the bed and cleaned up. I was walking out of this room with a ticket to the rest of my life. It didn’t matter how or when, as long as I eventually got her back I would consider my life successful.

Notes

So orginally this chapter didn't exist. After I finished the story, I realized we never got to see Danny's reaction to any of this. So this is it.... what do you think?