The Gentle Giant

I finally willed myself out of the bed and into the shower. He was in the kitchen cooking something, it smelled good whatever it was. I let the water run over my shell-shocked body. He had definitely changed a lot over the past few months. Gone was that passive, uncertain guy. We were clicking emotionally as well as physically more and more each day. Things were amazing between us and Andreja only added to our happiness as she grew and got stronger day by day.

I looked down and had to laugh, my poor wrists were sore, I was going to kick his behind. There were marks all over them. I dried off, threw on my robe and walked into the kitchen.

I slid my arms around his waist. The pancakes he made looked a little funny but were amazingly good. He laughed at me because I eat them plain. “Dani you might be the only Canadian I know that doesn’t eat syrup. Doesn’t make sense.”

I just smiled. “So where did you get the handcuffs, and can we keep them pretty please.” He laughed so hard he spit out his coffee. “Umm, nah. Look at your wrists. I’ll get you a better pair. Pink fluffy ones or something.”

I pouted. “Dani, you are something. Let’s go see Andreja. I want to see her as much as possible today and tomorrow. I’m going to miss her while I am away.” I frowned and pouted some more. He was going to be gone for eight days. I didn’t know how I was going to handle it.

While I was getting dressed, my brother called me and asked if he could come to the hospital today. I was excited to get to spend time with him and we agreed to have lunch together. Andrej and I headed out a few minutes later and within twenty-five minutes, we were sitting in the NICU again.

Andrej was feeding our daughter and I was talking to the doctor when Danny came in. He was all smiles as Andrej handed her to him. He sat quietly for a while, feeding her the tiny bottle. I could tell he was totally in awe of her.

“My god Dani, she is still so tiny. All of mine were way bigger than her. Even the twins.” He looked up and smiled.

“Well Dan, she is only three pounds, six ounces still. But she is getting there.” He spent about an hour with her while Andrej spoke to his family on the phone.

He finally returned her to her Daddy and grabbed for my hand. ‘Let’s go Danielle.”

I winced as he grabbed my wrist and he looked down and smirked. “I seriously don’t even want to know.”

We went to a small restaurant and were seated. “Dani, I just wanted to let you know how proud I am of you. You have changed so much and you are a great mom. I’m not going to tell you how annoyed I was when you and him got together. The last thing I wanted to see was you to have to go through the craziness of a season and all of the crap I put Raina through. But he is perfect for you and he adores you and Andreja.”

I smiled at him. “I couldn’t figure out how a person could make you so happy until I met him Dan. He is completely different from me. He balances me out well, that’s for sure.”

He just laughed. “Raina is the same way with me.”

We ate lunch talking about the kids. “I can’t wait to bring her home Dan. I am so burnt out from the hospital. And now you guys leaving for the next week and a half don’t help.”

He grabbed my hand. “Soon Dani, I promise she will be healthy enough to leave soon. Are you going back to work?” The questions surprised me because I hadn’t really thought about it.

“I have no idea Dan. I really enjoyed the job but I’m not sure if I could hire someone with her being so tiny. I don’t know. I guess me and him have to discuss that one. He didn’t want me to work when I was pregnant so I doubt he will now. I don’t know what to do.” He paid the check and we got up.

“Honestly Dani, he has enough money to where you should stay home. Besides, if you want more kids you know he isn’t going to let you work while you are pregnant again. So you might as well not go back for the time being.”

My eyes got wide. “Oh no way, I’m not having any more. I will never ever have the strength to do this again Dan. I have cried every day for over a month now, praying and begging that she is ok.”

He hugged me. “Dani, this doesn’t happen all the time.”

We drove me back to the hospital and said goodbye. I felt sick to my stomach. I never even let the thought of more children enter my mind. I was a nervous wreck as I walked into the NICU. She was sound asleep in her bassinet when I got there. Andrej looked at me from his chair.

“What is the matter, you look like you are stressing big time.” I tried to contain the tears. I was so burnt out though. I just wanted him to hold me and make everything better.

He walked me to the doors of the NICU and out to his car, where we sat quietly. “You need to talk to me Dani, I’m not a mind reader and I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what is wrong.” He pulled me closer to him and I rested my head on his shoulder.
“Do you want more children.” I asked him bluntly.

“Honestly Dani, I don’t know. The only thing I am concerned with right now is the health of you and Andreja. I don’t know how I feel about it. I’m not sure I have it in me to do this again. I guess it’s something we can decide down the road you know. I want her to get healthy and be able to come home, I also want to get married at some point soon.” I smiled at him, just talking to him made me feel so much better already.

“So what do I do about work. I don’t know what to tell them, I’m scared that once she comes home I will be afraid to leave her with someone.” He grabbed my hand and ran his fingers along my palm.

“I know you like working, although I would prefer you be home with her. Would they let you work part-time or something? Maybe then we could work something out with one of the wives you know?”

I shook my head. “Thanks, you make me feel so much better. I just am tired Andrej, sick of coming here every day, I can’t wait for her to get home. And now, with you leaving for the trip, ughhh. I want to scream.”

He kissed my forehead. “I’m going to miss you two, but it will go quick and then I will be back. I’ll get handcuffs of our own on the way home tonight, will that make you smile for a few days while I’m gone?”

I cracked up. “Please don’t even tell me who you borrowed them from. I know I will never hear the end of this one if anyone noticed my wrists you tease.”

We went back up and spent some more time with Andreja before leaving for the day. We met up with his teammates for dinner. Even Danny, Raina, Jeff and Pam had made it. It was nice to see everyone out for a night without kids. The guys weren’t leaving town until later on tomorrow so drinks were passed out at a furious pace.

Jeff handed me a shot and smirked at me, looking down at my wrist with knowing eyes. He nudged Kris and Richie and point to my wrists which still had pink imprints on them. Richie cracked up and slapped Andrej on the back. Kris grabbed Bella and whispered in her ear and she immediately blushed. I couldn’t help but laugh. It was so nice to go out and enjoy the company of the guys before they had to leave.

Notes

:)