The Gentle Giant

I met up with Danny outside of the Skate Zone. We decided to go inside one of the empty offices to talk. We sat down and he just stared at me. “So what is up? You look like you are freaking out.” I started pacing the room I was so nervous.

“Listen I stopped by your house today and Danielle was there. I gather she dropped in on Raina and Pam. She is pregnant. I don’t know how far along but its noticeable.”

Danny put his head down. “So she failed to tell everyone about it, deciding just to pop up and inform everyone now. What did she say to you? Is it yours?”

I sat back down. “At best guess I would say yeah, but I don’t know. She wouldn’t even talk to me. I need you to get her to meet me or something. If the baby is mine, which I’m confident it is, I should at least be able to talk to her.”

Danny called Raina first who let us know Danielle had came back to the house and was waiting for me there. I felt relieved but really nervous. I couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t tell me about the baby.

We got back to the house and Danny and Raina let us into the den. I sat down and looked at her. He eyes were swollen from crying, but she looked healthy. “So why Danielle, why would you not tell me?”

She looked at me sadly. “It was going to tell you, I was trying to fix my life before bringing you into it. I got a really good job about a month ago. I also moved into an apartment downtown. I just wanted you to see that I was trying to be more mature.”

I just stared at her. “Dani, it’s something I was entitled to know. I don’t get it. I don’t think I have ever been unreasonable with you. I don’t understand why you would hold it back from me, even for a few weeks. When did you find out?”

She let me know she was eighteen weeks pregnant. She hadn’t had her ultrasound yet. That was scheduled for next week. “Look I know it probably wasn’t the smartest thing to do. I found out maybe a week or so after we stopped talking. It forced me to reevaluate everything and get straightened out. Can’t support a child on my brother’s money, you know. I quit my job when I moved down here to help Raina when she was on bed rest and quite frankly, I got lazy. Honestly, I am doing really good for myself.”

I just sighed. I was confused, hurt and surprised. I couldn’t believe I was going to have a child and didn’t even know it. She let me know she needed to go home and finish up some work for tomorrow, but to call her if I wanted to talk. I went and sat down with Danny and Raina.

“So, how did it go?” Danny asked. I let him know what we talked about.

“Wow she is further along than she looks, that is for sure.” He said shaking his head.

“Fucking Cabo” I said, getting up from the table.

“Whoa, you ok. I know it is a lot to process at once. Maybe you guys should go out later and talk or something. She does love you. She told me she was trying to make her life better for you and panicked when she found out.” Raina said giving me a hug.

“I’ll see, maybe that would help.” I said, not knowing what else to do. I headed home and laid on the couch for awhile, trying to figure out what my role was going to be in all of this. I knew one thing, there was no way she was keeping this child from me.

I fell asleep for awhile and once I woke up, I called Danielle. “Listen, I’d like to talk some more. Would you go out to eat with me. We can go to somewhere near your apartment.”

We got into the restaurant and sat down. “Listen Andrej, I’m really sorry. I was wrong, about everything. When you told me you just wanted to be friends I freaked. I wanted to prove to you that I was mature. Then it was like everything crashed around me. I found out I was pregnant and it was surprising to say the least. I thought about calling you, but I did really want to show you that I had my stuff together before you freaked out as well.”

I just sighed. “Can we just start over Dani? I have had some really good times with you and some really bad ones as well. I think we can be good parents, together or apart. I’d would like to just try and fix us before our child comes into the world.”

She smiled and simply responded “I’m in.” We ordered food and continued to talk about everything that had been going on. She invited me over to see her apartment and I’d like to die.

“It’s nice Dani, a little on the small side, but its yours.” She just laughed.

“Well I’m not the big time hockey player. I got something I could manage in town. I didn’t want to be too far away from you or work.” I looked around. It was a studio apartment. There was no way my kid was living squeezed into a small space like this. I wouldn’t say it to her though. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings because I could see she was trying.

I bit my tongue hard so I didn’t tell her to quit her job and move in with me. As mad as I was at her, I felt bad she was going to be working throughout the pregnancy, especially when I could afford to support her.

After sitting on her balcony and talking for a little while, I did finally offer. “You know Dani, you can quit that job. I’ll help you out, I mean you are carrying my child. I don’t like seeing you have to work while you are pregnant.”

She got up. “Andrej, I am doing this for myself and our child. I don’t need you to pay my way in life because I am your baby’s mama.”

I looked at her in disbelief. “Dani, don’t you know you are more than that to me. I was in love with you before, I’m in love with you still. I’m sorry that we didn’t stay together. I thought at the time I was making the correct decision and in some ways I still do. We can fix this though. Let’s just go slow and make sure we don’t make the same mistakes again.” She nodded silently at me and I got up and pulled her into a hug.

I ran my hand along her stomach, which was peeking out from the fitted shirt she wore. “I can’t believe this little one is ours. Its amazing.” I kissed her on the check and left, promising her we would go out and do something on Friday night. I had a game tomorrow night which she said she may attend if she got out of work early enough.

The next night during pre-game skate I looked around anxiously. I wasn’t sure if she would make it, but I hoped she would. The seat stayed empty until after the first period. She came rushing in as we sat down on the bench for the start of the second period. She looked beautiful in a long brown skirt and cream shirt. You could tell she came right from work and was rushing.

After our win, I signaled for her to meet me downstairs. I knew no one had been told about the baby and I figured we might as well do it now. She walked into the locker room and it got pin-drop silent. You could tell people were surprised. “So umm, yep…. Having a kid, not a clue what it is yet.”

Jeff got up and groaned. “Seriously, more babies?"

I wonder which the kid will favor.” Mike said laughing.

“Probably the Briere side, hello have you seen my kids.” Danny yelled from the other side of the locker room.

I pulled Danielle closer to me and kissed her forehead. I hoped things would start to get better for us.

Notes