The Gentle Giant

Two weeks later, I was landing in Philadelphia. I walked through the airport looking for Mike. He was picking me up. I finally seen him and Claude. I held my composure. I should have known Mike would try and place peacemaker before the season started.

“Welcome back Mesz” Mike said, giving me a hug.

Claude just nodded. “What’s up bro.” We walked and grabbed my bags.

Mike left us at the door of the parking garage. “Get out of here. Go work it out and deal with it. First practice is in two days."

We sat down in the car and he immediately apologized. “I’m sorry bro, it was all my fault. We were so drunk and I kissed her. She stopped it right away and told me she couldn't. I told Danny what happened the next morning. I wanted to call you, but I didn't want to tell you over the phone. I understand if you are mad. I get it. Just don’t be mad at her. She loves you.” I was happy to hear what he said but still had no idea what to do about her.

The ring in my jacket felt extra heavy. I bought it at the beginning of the summer and have held it since. I was fingering it without realizing, trying to decide if this is what I wanted.

I called her when I got back to my place. I lived alone, which was nice. I couldn’t see sharing a place with any of my teammates. Most of the single guys partied a little too hard for me. I invited her over for dinner, which would give me enough time to clean up the place and get some kind of food. She came over, wearing black yoga pants, a t-shirt and flip flops. She immediately gave me a hug. “I missed you” she said, smiling at me.

“I missed you too. So I got Chinese for dinner. Let’s eat, then we can hang out on the balcony.” Once we were done eating we sat on the balcony of my downtown apartment just enjoying the view. I could tell she was antsy. She couldn’t sit still.

“So where are we Andrej?” She looked so hopeful and I felt my words get all jumbled up in my head.

“Umm, I think we should just remain friends for right now. I think we are still learning a lot about each other and I’d like to see that continue“

“Why even both to call me over here? You could have done this to me over the phone. I don’t get it.” She said grabbing her purse and heading out the door. I sat down, knowing that had not gone too well. I did love her. I’d be the first to admit it to her. I just thought that maybe she needed time to get out of the immature, partying stage she had been in since we met. I knew if she ever cheated on me again I would not hesitate to cut her out of my life. I wanted her to prove to me that she was growing up before I was willing to give her my heart again.

She slammed the door and within ten minutes my phone was ringing. “Dude, you have to talk to her, she is hysterical.” Danny yelled from the other end of the line.

“She’s over-reacting Dan, I’m not babying her. That’s your job, she is your little sister, not mine."

Practice two days later was tense to say the least. Danny would barely say two words to me during it and I’m sure everyone noticed. I waited around for him to get done with his interviews and asked to speak to him. “Danny, I’m not trying to hurt her feelings, I swear. I just want to spend time with her without putting a label on it. Let her decide what she really wants. I know what I wanted, from the moment we got together.”

He smiled. “Well I’m glad to here you say that part of it at least. She’s a good girl, maybe babied a little too much. I think she believes you just don’t want to be with her though.” He said to me.

“I’ll give her a call, maybe it will help.” I said to him as I walked towards the door.

She didn’t answer my repeated phone calls. After a week, I gave up. I was upset, but I figured she would eventually come around.

A week turned into a month. I tried talking to Danny about it and he didn’t have much to offer. “Honestly, I’m lucky if I see her once a week. She got a job with an advertising company and she is always working. She got an apartment in Olde City. No one really sees her. I don’t like it, but she won’t even listen to Raina at this point. She even has my mom worried.” I tried her cell on and off and she would never pick up.

We got busy and it got closer to November. I still hadn’t seen her. I looked for her constantly when I was out and about. All I wanted to do was explain to her that I didn’t want her out of my life, I just wanted to take it slow and make sure we belonged together. The ring sat in my safe, untouched.

About a week later, I was hanging out with Scott and Jeff over in Jersey close to the Skate Zone. I decided Raina had to be the only person I thought that could get through to her. I knew she wasn’t ignoring her godson or her niece and nephews, she loved them too much.

I left the two guys and drove over to the house, parking outside and knocking. No one answered, but Raina’s truck was in the driveway and so was Danielle’s car. My heart was beating faster and I started to get really nervous. I wonder if she saw me outside and wasn’t going to answer. I waited a few minutes, knocking again. I could hear Lola but no other noise. The boys were probably at school.

I saw them coming up the street before they saw me. Pam, Raina and Danielle must have been out for a walk, undoubtedly trying to get Pam to go into labor. Jeff had been complaining at practice that the process took way too long.

The minute she saw me she started walking the other direction. I fought with myself whether or not to chase her. I wasn’t trying to play little kid games.

Raina walked up and kissed me on the cheek. “Go after her, she needs you. This is the first I have seen her in weeks and she looks terrible.”

I caught up to her pretty quickly and walked along side of her. “Danielle stop. What is going on? Don’t you understand I am in love with you? I just want to make sure we feel the same way before I fall into this relationship again.”

She turned to look at me and my heart wrenched. She was small, but it was noticeable. Suddenly everything made sense, the avoidance of me and her family, the apartment, the new job. She was preparing herself for motherhood, without me.

I couldn’t even speak. The only word I could manage was “why” as she walked away. I called Danny and asked him to meet me. I was sure he didn’t know about it. I figured Raina had just been told by the look on her face. I got into the car and drove to the skate zone. My vision blurred with tears. I couldn’t believe she would try and do this without me.

Notes

Uh oh, thoughts ?