Chapter 2: forgiving is easy, trusting again - not so much.
“You're... moving?”
I sit on the couch in mine and Natalie's apartment, quite shocked. She just informed me that she's planning to move in with her boyfriend this week.
“Yeah,” She says, pacing back and forth. “I know it's sorta all of a sudden but he asked.. and I- it's the right move for me right now.”
“You're still in University Nat, are you sure this is a good idea?” I ask.
“I know, I'll stay focused don't worry.” She walks over and sits beside me, leaning her head on my shoulder. “We'll still hang out lots. Even if we don't go to that coffee shop every morning. I promise.”
“If you really want this, I'm behind you.” I say but somewhere inside me I can't help but feel like this is a mistake. Natalie and her boyfriend Ben have always been in choppy waters. They aren't a stable couple and I don't think that them moving in together is going to work. She has to learn though.
That's the tough thing about life, you have to make mistakes to learn.
***

Alex: Come to another game when I get back from Boston?
I grin at the text, butterflies going crazy in my stomach. We have been texting nonstop since our date and I love it.
Me: Yes, of course :-)
Alex: Great, I'll see you when I get home!
I smile like an idiot at my phone until Natalie, who's in the process of packing, breaks me from my thoughts.
“Why are you grinning at your phone?” She asks.
“No reason.”
She squints her eyes at me, not believing a word I said. “You are a terrible liar Eleanor. Spill! What happened? Did you meet somebody?”
“Maybe.” I say, not really wanting to tell anybody other than Audrey right now.
“Who?” She questions, with a perfectly arched brow raised.
“I'll tell you soon.” I promise and she twists her lips but nods.
“Okay.” I think she's done talking but she continues. “So are you going to keep this apartment? Or find a new one.”
At first, I planned on staying here but with Nat moving out, I feel like this is the time for me to move on to the next stage of my life. This is my last semester of school, so soon I will be working full time at the hospital (I'm studying to be an ultrasound technician), so I need an apartment closer to the hospital.

With this in mind, I decide to call my parents and ask for a favour. The thing with my parents is that they have quite a lot of money. My dad is the CEO of a law firm in Toronto, and my mom owns a chain of salons in Toronto as well. She also has a small hair salon in our house for some clients who don't want to travel from Rockshore to Toronto. It about an hour drive or so.
I hated the fact that they had money when I was a kid. There were so many people who only wanted to be my friend because my parents were wealthy so when I moved here, I was sure to make sure that people had no idea who my parents were, or that they were wealthy.
Now, when I moved to Montreal, I refused to accept any money my parents tried to give me (aside from my university trust fund). I got a part time job, and a roommate and that was how I paid for my apartment and food. My dad has denied it many times, but I am pretty sure he puts extra money in my account each month.
Since I am moving, I'm hoping that my parents can lend me some money to get a head start on the apartment but I won't let him give it to me without me paying them back.

I pick up my cell phone and dial my dad's office number, knowing he's working now.
“This is the office of Elliot LeDrew, how may I help you?”
“May I speak to Elliot LeDrew please?” I ask.
“Mr. LeDrew is in a meeting. Can I take a message?” The secretary says in a clipped tone and I roll my eyes.
“Yes, can you tell him his daughter called?”
and her tone changes like that. “Oh of course sweetheart! I'll let him know as soon as he gets out.”
“Thank you.” I say, and hang up the phone. I hate the tone his secretary always uses when she answers the phone. She sounds so snobby.
I decide to watch TV for awhile, and as I'm flipping through channels, an interview with Alex in it pops up and I stop and decide to watch it. I feel kind of stalker-ish, but he doesn't have to know I watched it... right?
He talks about hockey for a bit and then the interviewer (which might I add is a woman who looks Alex's age), goes really, really off topic and asks if he is currently dating anybody. I don't expect him to say yes because we aren't technically dating, we only went on a date.
He surprises me though, by saying that he is dating somebody. I almost laugh at how disappointed the woman interviewing him looks, but when she asks for a name – I freeze.
He won't say my name right? I don't really want a bunch of girls hating on me.
“Uh – well” he hesitates, and the interviewer smirks.
“C'mon, who's the lucky girl?”
Alex scratches the back of his neck and I know he's uncomfortable. He shouldn't have said anything, this is his mess now.
The interviewer frowns. “You're off the hook, we are out of time. Thank you Alex, and good luck in your game tonight.”
“Thanks.” He says, and then the screen switches to commercials, leaving me to ponder why he said he was dating somebody. The media is going to be all over it, and I am not prepared to deal with that kind of thing.
This is the last thing I need right now.

***

The next few days go by and I don't hear from Alex. He should be back in Montreal and I suspect he is busy practising for the next game but after the fifth day of nothing, I get nervous. What if he found some new girl to take to games and on dates? I mean I wouldn't blame him.
My phone rings and my palms get sweaty and my heart starts to race because I think it's Alex but when I pick it up and see that it's my parents, a wave of disappointment washes over me.
I answer it anyway.
“Hello?”
“Hey kiddo. I know you called a few days ago but things have been really busy here lately and I didn't have chance to call you back.”
“It's okay.” I say and start to second guess asking him. I hate asking my parents for money.
“What did you need? A plane ticket home? Some extra money put in your account?”
I let out a small laugh. “Not a plane ticket home. However, Natalie is moving out of the apartment and I wanted to-”
My dad cuts me off. “Get a new place?”
“Yeah, but I don't really have the money right now and I was wondering if I could borrow some.” I say. “I'll pay you back. I promise.”
“Nonsense. Consider it an early birthday gift.”
“Dad, my birthday was last month.”
“Consider it a birthday gift for next year then.”
I let out a sigh. “No. I'll pay you guys back.”
“Yeah, okay.” He says but I know that this isn't the end of this conversation. “I'll get Anderson to call a realtor and have him look at some houses.”
I stop him right there. “Woah, no houses. I meant an apartment, dad.”
“Why? If you're moving, you might as well get a house.”
“And who's going to pay the bills every month?” I ask. “I don't have that kind of money – I'm still in school.”
“I'm sure your mom and I can-”
“Can what dad? Pay my way through life? I told you guys I wanted to be independent. All I needed was a loan. Just enough for an apartment until I start working in May. That's when I'm finished school officially.”
My dad doesn't say anything for a minute, and I would think that he hung up but I can hear his breathing.
“I'd feel more comfortable knowing you were in a house in a nice, safe neighbourhood than in an apartment.”
I roll my eyes. “A house in a nice, safe neighbourhood, is expensive. Apartments are safe too – and less expensive.”
“Eleanor, you asked for my help and if I am loaning you money, then we are doing this my way.”
and here comes the control freak.

Three consecutive knocks on the door of my apartment save me.
“There is somebody at the door – probably the pizza guy. I'll call you later dad.”
“Okay, bye.”
He hangs up before I get a chance to say anything so I hop up off the couch and race to the door. When I open it, I am extremely surprised to see Alex standing there.
“Uh, hey?”
“Hey.” He says and I raise a brow.
“Whatcha doing here?” I ask as casually as I can because I seriously don't know why he's here. He didn't text me and say he wanted to pop over.
“I was just driving and I somehow ended up here.”
“Oh.” I say and then the manners my mom drilled in my head kick in. “Would you like to come in?”
“Yeah, sure.” He says so I step back and let him walk in. Natalie isn't completely moved yet, so there are still a lot of boxes waiting around.
“Are you moving?” Alex asks, looking confused.
“Well this is my roommates things. She's moving in with her boyfriend.” I explain. “However, I might be moving as well.”
He raises his brows. “Might be?”
“It's complicated.” I say with a weak laugh.
“I know complicated.” He says. “Tell me.”
I take a seat on the couch, and he follows, sitting next to me.
I explain the whole situation, and Alex nods his head, listening intently throughout my whole explanation. When I finish, he shrugs his shoulders.
“Yeah, I can see why you feel that way but maybe he's just wants the best for you?” He offers and I sigh, blowing a piece of hair out of my face.
“I don't want that though, all I wanted was a loan from him so I could get an apartment and he's trying to get a house. I don't want my parents to pay my way through life – it's not who I am.”
Alex processes this for a second. “You don't like accepting money from people do you?”
“No, I never want to have to financially depend on anybody.” I say.
It's true. I always knew that I didn't want to depend on anybody financially. My mom could have easily just never worked because my dad make enough but she worked hard to get where she is now. She wanted to be able to never have to financially depend on anybody either so she worked hard and with a little help along the way, she opened her own chain of salons. She doesn't make nearly as much as my dad, but she wouldn't ever need to financially depend on anybody and that's what she wanted.
“I admire that about you.” He says, and I blush slightly.
“Thank you.”
He glances around, before his eyes land on the TV. “Wanna watch a movie?”
“Only if I can choose.” I say, grinning and he chuckles.
“Fair enough.”
and that's how I spend my night, watching movies with Alex. We chat about everything and anything. I learned a lot about him, from his favourite food, to his family and what his aspirations are. What he wants in the future, where he see's himself in ten years.
What he loves.
(hockey – of course.)
During the course of the night, I realize something that makes my stomach twist, and alarms to go off in my head.
I was falling for Alex – fast and that can only mean trouble. The thing with having your heart broken so many times is that when somebody tries to care for you and love you, you have no fucking idea how to accept it.
I've become so damaged from my past relationships, that when I think about anything ever happening between myself and Alex, all I can do is see what can go wrong. The way my last relationship ended, left me so broken and I'm just now putting myself back together and there's no way I am putting my trust and happiness in another mans hands.
I learned the hard way that when you put your happiness in somebody's hands, they'll drop it.
They'll drop it every time.

Notes

let me know what you guys think!
- Alex