Quick Flicks

I scanned the shelves of food, trying to find the pasta I would need for dinner. I finally found what I needed, and stood on my toes to reach the box.

"Stella?"

I jumped, dropping the box. As I knelt down to pick it up, placing my grocery basket beside me, Andrew Shaw scurried over, helping me out.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I was just surprised to see you. Where have you been?"

I gulped, unsure of how to answer. I'd been dating Jonathan Toews, captain of the Chicago Blackhawks, for the past eight months. We'd been inseparable, navigating the tricky art of maintaining a serious relationship with one member gone most of the time. I was busy, too, attending grad school in the city. I was studying for my Master's degree in Psychology. But, we made it work. Things were going wonderfully, or at least they had been until a couple weeks ago.

"Oh, I've just been super busy with school and stuff. Busy with work, too." I plastered a smile on my face, hoping Andrew would buy it. "You've been good, though?"

"Yeah! Scoring most of the goals, of course, but I try to let Johnny have one every now and then", Andrew joked, getting a giggle out of me. He shrugged, smiling back at me.

"That's good!" I paused, not wanting to stick around much longer, but not wanting to be rude, either. "Well, I should probably get going. I have a huge paper to work on and don't want to get home too late."

"Yeah, totally! Well, you-" Andrew paused as he placed the box of pasta in my basket, his hand hovering. I looked down to see what he was looking at, and gulped nervously as I saw it was the pregnancy test that sat at the bottom of the basket, next to a jar of pasta sauce and a bag of tomatoes. "Uh, I... Are you-"

"Yes. Um, well, I think so." I sighed and shook my head, putting my hand to my forehead in frustration. "I mean, I went to the doctor's and they said yes, but I still wanted to check once more. Just to be sure."

"Wow, that's- that's exciting! Johnny must be-"

"No, please, don't tell Jonathan. I-"

"Wait", Andrew looked around before continuing. "He doesn't know yet?"

I looked around before looking back at him and nodding.

"Can we not talk about this here, though?" Andrew nodded and we walked to the cash register together, where I paid for my basket and he paid for his few items next door. We walked to my car together, and sat in the front seats after I placed the bags in the trunk, with Andrew's help, of course. Once we had both settled in and the doors were closed, I sighed and opened my mouth to talk.

"I haven't told Johnny that I'm- that we're, I guess- expecting yet. I-"

"How long have you known?"

"Well, almost three weeks." I could see Andrew do the mental math and saw his eyes widen as he put the pieces of the puzzle together.

"So that's why you haven't been around? You weren't really busy with school and stuff?" I sighed and closed my eyes.

"Yes. Well, I mean, no. I've been busy with school, too. But, yeah, mostly it's been because of the b-", I gestured to my stomach, "this". Andrew nodded, absorbing everything I was telling him.

"Stella, you have to tell him." I crossed my arms across my chest and leaned back, squeezing my eyes shut once again as I felt tears threaten to spill over.

"God, it's these stupid hormones." I wiped my tears and Andrew placed his hand on my shoulder, attempting to help me calm down. I exhaled slowly and tried my best to compose myself. "I know, I really should tell him. But, I- I just don't want to bother him. And what if- what if he doesn't want this, or want me anymore? And-"

"Whoa, slow down there, buddy. I get that you're nervous, that's a no-brainer, for sure. But, unless you're dating a different Jonathan Toews, I think you don't have much to be nervous for. Sure, it's part of my job description to give him shit. But, as much as it hurts me to say this, he's a great guy. Plus, he really, really cares about you. Like, a lot." I giggled at Andrew's attempt to cheer me up, but also realized he was right. "Seriously, he talks about you a lot and it's kinda gross." I playfully pushed Andrew, who had started laughing at this point.

"No, you're right. I just need to suck it up and tell him." I sighed, a feeling of dread spreading throughout my body. "Ugh, I can't even have a drink to calm me down before talking to him. Damn baby." Andrew laughed and opened the car door. "Wait, do you know where he is tonight?"

"He had to talk to Coach after practice, but that was like an hour ago. He should be home."

"Alright, thanks Andrew." I gave him a smile and wave, which he returned before shutting the door. I turned on the car and started driving.
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I sat in the car, outside of Jonathan's apartment. I had driven home to put my groceries away in a flash before immediately heading over here. I hadn't been to Johnny's place in weeks. I hadn't even really talked to him that much in the past few weeks. We texted a few times a day, but those had gotten fewer in the last week. We'd spoken over the phone as well, but I didn't give very long answers. Even someone as friendly and sweet as Jonathan could only deal with it for so long.

I walked up to the door, raising my hand and knocking softly. I heard footsteps and the door whipped open, revealing Jonathan clad in black sweatpants and a gray long-sleeved henley. He looked surprised as soon as he saw me.

"Stella, hey!" The look of confusion faded as he stepped aside. "Come in!" I did as he said and walked into the apartment, instantly anxious and overwhelmed by the situation. Johnny closed the door and I set my purse down on the ground, turning to face him. I opened my mouth to speak, but couldn't find the right words to say. Tears started burning my eyes and before I knew it they were spilling over.

"Baby, hey, hey. Don't cry" I felt Jonathan's arms wrap around me as he held me close, rubbing circles on my back as the sobs shook my body. He pulled away from me, his arm still around me and led us both to the couch. He tried to pull me close, but I shook my head and insisted on sitting apart from him. "What's wrong?"

I sighed, shrugging. He reached out to touch my arm, and I flinched away. The confused expression on his face spoke volumes.

"Are- are you breaking up with me? Is that way you've avoided me the past few weeks?"

I shook my head, feeling tears form again. Thankfully, Jonathan had a box of tissues on his coffee table, which he kindly handed to me. I dabbed the tears away and spoke, my voice still a bit shaky.

"I'm not breaking up with you. I shouldn't have avoided you, at all. It was clearly not the right way to handle this situation. I've missed you a lot, and I'm sorry for being so- so difficult." I stopped, preparing myself to deliver the tough news. "I just have been very nervous to talk to you. I love you, Jonathan, you know that. I don't ever want to hurt you or do anything to jeopardize your career or your life in general."

"Of course." Jonathan reassured me, as I accepted the hand he had reached out to place in mine. I took a deep breath.

"Well, um, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I, well..." I closed my eyes and looked down at our hands, joined together. "I'm pregnant."

The hand I expected to recoil in disgust stayed firmly in mine. I slowly raised my gaze to meet his, which hadn't changed while I had been talking before, suddenly shifted. Instead of a look of disgust spreading, his eyes lit up and a smile appeared. His eyes gained focused and connected intensely with mine, as he squeezed my hand.

"You mean, that's why you've been avoiding me? You were worried I'd run away?" I nodded and Johnny did something that shocked me- he laughed. "Stella, why would you think that? I could never, ever do that. I- I wish you had told me sooner! I've missed these past few weeks with you."

"I'm sorry." His smile somehow got wider as he sat, still looking at me.

"I'm gonna be a dad!" He stood up and started pacing, his hands on his head. "Oh my god, I'm gonna be a dad! We- we're gonna be parents!" He pulled me up off of the couch and hugged me, lifting me in his arms. He placed me delicately back on my feet, pressing a kiss to my forehead. He lowered himself onto his knees, looking up at me. "How far-"

"Three months. But, you- you're not.... mad?" He stood abruptly and placed his hands delicately on my face.

"How could I ever be mad? I was just as much a part of making this baby as you were." Shrugging his shoulders, he continued. "Sure, it might be difficult. But hey, Sharpy's done it, and so have a few of the other guys! Plus, the offseason's coming up soon, so I'll be able to spend lots of time with you then. Stella, I could not be any less 'mad' if I tried. I am so, so happy and excited for yo- our baby." He smiled and got back down on his knees, placing a kiss on my stomach and hugging me close. "I love you." He stood up and kissed me slowly, taking my breath away is it was our first kiss in weeks. "And I love you, too."

"I love you, more."

Notes