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Several days later, Elle was about at her wits end. Since Guerin had arrived in her life, nothing was going right. She’d been scheduled for multiple flights every day. She was getting to YVR at 6 AM, staying until after dark, and then repeating it scant hours later. They were all business VIP flights, mostly international. She loved that cultural interaction normally, but with Guerin breathing down her neck and waiting for her to offend someone, she hated it. She hated all of it.

To top it all off, Jamie had basically stopped communicating all together.

She texted him in the mornings and he wouldn’t respond for hours. She hadn’t gotten him on the phone once since that Skype session. It was driving her up the wall.

Elle looked up from the list of unanswered texts to the sounds of heels on carpet. Nobuko was approaching her desk, a grim frown on her face. Elle frowned back in response. She hadn’t seen her friend in almost two weeks. They should be having a joyous reunion. Instead, Nobuko sighed heavily when she came to pause in front of Elle.

“I bring bad news.”

“Oh. Hello Nobuko. It’s lovely to see you. How’s the husband?” Elle’s response was flippant, but worried.

Nobuko let out a heavy sigh and leaned a hand on the counter. “Hi Elle. It’s nice to see you. I have some bad news.”

Elle’s stomach flipped. Her attempt at lightening the mood hadn’t lessened the severity of Nobuko’s news. “On a scale of Brent Seabrook to the Twins, how bad is it?”

“Seabrook AND Kane, drunk.”

Elle sucked in a breath between her teeth. “Well, shit. What is it?”

“Your one week review came across my desk this afternoon. You’ve been reported as behaving in an unprofessional and salacious manner. Guerin is advocating for himself to either be your permanent superior or to replace you entirely.”

Elle dropped her damn phone. “What?! That’s not- they can’t- What the ever loving fuck?” Nobuko held up her hands, trying to quiet Elle down. Elle was having none of it. She continued ranting for a moment, drawing the attention of airport workers in the immediate vicinity. She knew this was a bad idea, but it had been a horrible week so far.

Her words stopped abruptly, right about the time Rob cleared the corner, his expression thunderous. She shrank down, her anger having expressed itself, leaving her embarrassed at the outburst.

“Merchant. In my office. Now.” As he boos stalked back to his office, Elle sighed in defeat. She followed him anyway, head hanging.

He stared her down the whole way through the door and when she sat in front of him, he slammed his hands on his desk. “What the ever loving fuck do you think you’re doing, causing a scene like that in my terminal?”

She opened her mouth to respond, but stopped when she realized she had no good excuse. He waited a beat before continuing. “You’ve been with me for four years Elle. For four years I’ve watched you flawlessly handle team after team, turning down pickup lines and cheering up bad attitudes. Never before have I seen you so thoroughly derailed. So tell me. What’s got a bee in your bonnet now?”

Elle couldn’t help herself. She burst out laughing. Rob usually knew exactly how to talk her down from episodes of frustration, exactly what ridiculous phrase to use. She rubbed her hands over her face before replying, “Nobuko got my weekly performance report. Guerin says I can’t be trusted to run a flight on my own anymore. Something about being unprofessional and flirtatious.”

Rob nodded and handed her a sheet of paper. It was, in fact, her weekly performance review. And it was not polite. She noted that the list of individuals that received the report was in the dozens.

“He’s trying to sabotage me. He’s trying to get me fired, isn’t he?”

“Probably. He is a douche bag.”

“So what can I do?”

It was Rob’s turn to sigh deeply. “Keep your head down. Keep your head down and don’t mouth off about him in front of the rest of the staff. Because you can bet he’s going to hear about it when he comes in this afternoon.”

Elle buried her face in her hands, trying not to scream in frustration. This whole situation was going from ridiculous to unbearable. And it was eerily reminiscent of her first years with AirCanada, when Guerin had been her direct supervisor. He’d made her life a living hell back then too.

Rob cleared his throat and she peeked out from between her fingers. “You are the best damn person that could have been hired for this job, no matter what that asshole says. Just let it slide off your back. He’ll be gone soon enough.”

She nodded miserably because she had to accept the situation. She had to put up with the drama and bullshit, hopefully only for a short time.

-------

Elle: Sorry to bug you but I had a really shitty day at work. Anyway I could call tonight? I saw you guys aren’t playing and thought you’d have a few minutes.

The blood drained from Jamie’s face as he read the text, that familiar twist of guilt he’d had in the pit of his stomach for days making a speedy return. He’d been doing his best to limit communication, to keep his head in the game, and it was killing him. Every time his phone dinged he was hyper-aware and every text he left unanswered mocked him when he eventually responded. In his attempt to keep Elle from distracting him, he’d turned himself into a horrible asshole.

He darkened the phone and let it drop to his lap. Around him, the guys were slowly changing out of their gear after a particularly vicious practice; his rookies had both vomited. Coach was riding them hard, knowing that a late season push was the only way they’d make the playoffs at all. Jamie should say something, try to cheer everyone up, but he couldn’t muster the effort.

It was eerily quiet in the room while his head and heart were both yelling at him full volume.

He wasn’t being fair to his team. He wasn’t being fair to himself. Most of all, he wasn’t being fair to Elle.

Me: Yeah, of course. I’ll be in all night, just call when you’re off work.

He could at least talk to her, help her work through a shitty day. From her texts, it sounded like things were progressively worse every time she went in, which was often. He wondered what Jetz was doing; she was an amazing employee. YVR was one of the Stars’ favorite airports simply because Elle made sure it was. Through her own will power, she managed to keep them in line but happy and the fact that the airline was putting her through this clearly showed how underappreciated she was.

“Come on Chubbs. Michelle said she made lunch.” Jamie looked up from the phone he’d just been staring at to find Jordie showered and changed. He went back to dressing and soon the brothers were speeding towards Jordie’s house.

His older brother gave him a couple of heavy glances, particularly after a weighty sigh, but Jamie didn’t acknowledge it. Jordie had a vague idea about what was going on with Elle, but Jamie still didn’t want to admit what he’d been going through the last month. Jordie would call him a dumbass for trying to get with a girl a country away and then a dumbass for fucking it all up and then he’d probably make Jamie call her.

It must have been a goddamn conspiracy though because Michelle took one look and Jamie and frowned. “All right, Baby Benn. Spill.” Her soft Texan accent made her sound deceptively sweet but Jamie had seen the backside of her irritation and it wasn’t a pretty sight.

Jordie pushed him forward and Jamie slunk to their kitchen island. The tall stools were the perfect height for him and Jordie, but Michelle had to hop up. She rested her chin in her hand and gave him an expectant look. Michelle had been a god send, quite frankly. Jordie had met her at some bar and the two had immediately clicked, her soft fierceness complimenting Jordie’s silliness. There’d been several times over the last year that she’d been a mediator between the two, smoothing the ruffles from the departure of their shared domicile. In fact, Jamie was willing to bet the transition wouldn’t have been nearly as successful without Michelle drawing boundaries yet expecting some sort of shared life. She was, as Jordie once called her, a miracle worker for relationships.

“I’m going to guess Jordie told you that I was sort of seeing a girl?”

Jordie scoffed. “You only sort of told me that you were seeing a girl. I had to find out from Segs that it was that chick up in Vancouver.”

Jamie resisted the urge to sock his older brother in the shoulder. “Anyway. So, I went up and saw her last week, right after the all-star break.”

“Was this the same one you went on a wild cross-country trip to see and never did?” Michelle’s question was innocent enough, but it brought up a host of unwelcome memories.

“Yeah. That’s the one. After that disaster I just said fuck it, and flew up to see her. And when I got back, this one,” he pointed at Jordie. “And Fids both tore me apart for not being captain-ly. And then I got a talking-to from Management about letting distractions keep me from playing my best. So, that’s what I’ve been trying to do.”

“So, what? You stopped talking to her altogether?”

“Sort of.” He nodded to himself, trying to make it sound like a good idea. It still didn’t sound like a good idea.

“Good. You shouldn’t be trying to get with someone who’s so far away. You’re the damn captain, Chubbs.”

Michelle reached over and slapped Jordie upside the head. And then she slapped Jamie upside the head. Both of them cried out and reeled back. “What the hell was that for?”

She crossed her arms and glared at Jamie. “Jordie didn’t say much, but he said you were talking to her all the time. And then you spent a great deal of time and effort to see her in person. And you just stopped, out of nowhere. I’m going to assume that you never actually explained your withdrawal. And that’s super shitty.”

“She lives thousands of miles away Michelle. What the fuck was he supposed to do?”

Jordie’s question was met with an eye roll. “First of all, you’re adults.” She pointed a finger at both of them. “As much as you might fail at adulting from time to time, you own houses, you have many shiny cars, you make lots of money, and you have responsibilities. While you,” now she glared at Jordie. “You fail more than most, but you still come home to me every night. You know you can’t do this all by yourself.”

That got a chuckle out of Jamie, because, yeah. Jordie was pretty much the worst and he was so happy he wasn’t the one that had to take care of his older brother anymore.

“Jamie, you’re a Captain. That’s a big thing. But it’s also lonely being at the top. How many times have you crashed at our place because you don’t have an outlet at home for everything you have to deal with?”

She had a point. He’d been there frequently after they’d moved out of their apartment. “I get what you’re saying, Michelle. I really do. And I’d love someone to come home to, but I don’t and the only person I want is in another country.” When did he start sounding so whiny?

“So, instead of vocalizing these thoughts you just stop talking to this one person you want? You’re stringing her along. You’re stringing yourself along too. Adult a little harder, Baby Benn.”

Jamie frowned hard, understanding what Michelle was saying but still completely unsure about what to do with the information. “Every time I try to call her, or tell her what’s going on, I just- she’s going through a lot of shit at work and I don’t want to add to it. And if I tell her, then maybe she’ll decide she doesn’t want to do this anymore. And I don’t want to lose her.”

“You’re gonna lose her if you keep this up. You’re probably stressing her out even more right now, and that’s an even shittier thing to do.”

That guilt came back full force and he hung his head. “Why does shit have to be so complicated?”

“I’m not going to give you some stupid platitude about life being complicated because right now, the situation is perfectly clear. Fucking talk to her. That’s how this situation gets un-fucked.”

Jamie didn’t like the sound of that one bit. But Michelle was right. He was an adult. He could handle it.

-------

“Hey handsome.” Elle knew her voice sounded tired and strung out, but she tried to infuse some happiness into it as well. This was the first time in almost a week that she’d gotten Jamie on the phone. His responding chuckle, warm and so full of memories of the two of them, instantly cheered her up.

“Hey gorgeous. So, you had a bad day?”

She brushed the hair away from her face and sighed. “More like a bad week. The week from hell.” She knew he’d seen her texts, knew he was up to date, almost, on what was going on at the airport. She just wasn’t sure how interested he was anymore.

Something had shifted between them.

Sometime between his flight taking him from her and this moment something had come loose. With everything else going on, she’d pushed it to the back of her mind. But she could hear something she didn’t like a whole lot in his voice when he tried to console her.

He sounded distracted.

“Is everything ok, Jamie?” Her words didn’t waver like she expected them too. She could at least be proud about that.

His sigh seemed far heavier than the weight of her problems for the week.

“I got called into Nill’s office.”

Elle felt her heart freeze. If he’d gotten in trouble it would certainly explain why he’d been so distant. She waited; it took Jamie a long minute to continue.

“They noticed my field trip to see you.”

“Did you get into trouble?”

“Ehh, not really.” Now Elle was really confused. If he hadn’t gotten in trouble why was he avoiding her like the plague? “They just told me that I couldn’t get distracted.”

She understood now. “They gave you a warning.” She went straight from nervous to angry at his admission.

“Yeah, just a warning.”

“They gave you a warning and your response was to just ignore me for huge chunks of time.” The fury she’d been holding in until that morning, which had returned in full force, ripped the words from her mouth. “Right after we spent two days fucking each other’s brains out.”

“It sounds awful when you say it like that-“

Elle didn’t even want to hear it. “That’s so goddamn immature Jamie. I’ve been up here miserable, thinking that I did something wrong or that you just suddenly stopped caring. That maybe you didn’t have fun during your visit. Fuck.” She hadn’t even realized that all this had been sitting at the back of her mind. But it had. It’d been eating up at her just like the Guerin situation.
Jamie was quiet again for a while. Elle could hear his breathing on the other line, a little labored, like he’d had the wind knocked out of him. Like she’d surprised him. She couldn’t comprehend how he’d thought blowing her off without a given reason would ever be okay.

“Elle, I’m sorry. I-“

“No. Jamie, no. I can’t deal with this right now. I can’t deal with you.”

“Wait- what are you saying?”

Elle squeezed her eyes shut and tried to calm her racing heart. It wasn’t working. “I’m saying maybe we’ve both been distracted and we should both focus on work.” The words stung to say; they made the space between her eyes burn. But they had to be said. “I’ve got a ton on my plate and you can’t let anything come between you and your duties.”

“That is not at all what’s going on. Elle, I’m sorry. I’m not the best at talking about problems like this but I’ll try harder.”

“You can try harder after your season is over. Good bye Jamie.” She hung up on him, his please for her to wait having no effect on her decision. The phone was shut off and she tossed it on her living room table.

She had just broken up with Jamie Benn. The same Jamie Benn who’d been pinning her to the wall not eight days before. The Jamie Benn who’d stayed up until the wee hours of the morning, whispering all the ways he was going to make her come over the phone seven days ago.

The Jamie Benn she’d idealized and lusted after for years.

There was a part of her that was screaming, banging on the walls of mind. This part was so angry and Elle knew she’d been trying to placate her brain a lot in the coming days. The larger part of her was just tired now; she was tired of Guerin and a job she used to adore. She was tired of being ignored and talked over and told she was wrong or unwanted.

Nicole was going to kill her, but she’d have to wait until the morning because Elle was going to bed to sleep for 12 hours and forget the last week.

Notes