“I would not sleep in this bed of lies, so toss me out and turn in. And there’ll be no rest for these tired eyes, I’m marking it down to learning…”


By the time Marie sat up in bed because Sofia was crying, it was already mid-morning. Marco was probably already with his father, and she’d have to be at the shop within a few hours to prepare for the evening’s soft opening of the café. Mostly it was just for friends and family, and come the starting of the next week, the shop would be open to the public. A small staff was assembled and some family friends of the Scandella’s had been hired on as bakers. They were primarily responsible for making sure the café had all the pastries they’d need in a day to stay afloat. Marie would help out here and there, but she figured as owner, she couldn’t be continuously bogged down in the kitchen.

She picked Sofia up from her crib and carried her into the kitchen, murmuring little conversation pieces to her as she grabbed a bottle from the refrigerator and warmed it up in the microwave. Marie had grown fond, or used to, pumping because of the convenience for it. If she always had bottles prepared in the refrigerator, it allowed Marco to get up during the nights to feed her if he needed to. It really ended up taking some of the burden off Marie. So while Sofia sucked on the bottle, Marie sat down on the couch and flipped on the news. When that turned out to be woefully depressing, she flipped it onto a rerun of The Crocodile Hunter.

As that played in the background, she looked down at Sofia and unbuttoned the first few buttons on her onesie. It was still a little surreal to see a red scar along the center of her chest. For some reason, it hadn’t really clicked that she went through open-heart surgery. And when Sofia began to fuss, Marie rebuttoned her onesie.

“I know daddy usually gives you breakfast and you’re not good with change. But daddy’s with nonno, so we’re gonna have to see him later.” Her phone began to ring, and she reached forward to grab it from the table, careful to keep Sofia’s head supported. “Hi babe,”

“Hi, I just wanted to call and let you know I’m with my dad and don’t know when I’ll be done here,”

“Okay…” she paused and looked down as Sofia nudged her head away from the bottle. “Is everything alright,”

There was hesitation on Marco’s end. “I’ll just tell you about it later. If I’m not done here by five, I’ll meet you at the shop and get Sofia off your hands.”

“Will you let me…” Before she could even finish her sentence, the line went dead. He had hung up, and she just about flipped. He’d never done that before, and she never imagined he would. But here she was, with the phone up to her ear like it would magically reconnect. She could’ve killed him for doing that.

Marie wasn’t going to be able to tote Sofia along all day. There was so much to do for the opening, and it wasn’t like Sofia was a hindrance at all. But it was a huge safety issue to have an infant in an active kitchen. With the industrial sized ovens and knives, so much could go wrong. And it wasn’t like the opening was a surprise. Marco had known the date for weeks now, and knew that he’d have to be in charge of Sofia for the day. Yet here Marie was, toting their daughter on her hip as she scurried around, trying to get ready for the day.

The day wore on and Marie kept expecting Marco to walk through the door. He had been gone for hours now. And even though she knew he was with his dad, she still worried about him because of the abrupt ending to the phone call. This wasn’t the easiest time for Marco, and she knew that. With preseason closing in on them, he was mentally preparing himself for another eight months of hockey. But for him to drop his responsibilities as a father was unacceptable. Especially since for the majority of the year, he’d be completely busy and enthralled with the sport. The offseason was his time to step up as a parent, not disappear for hours on end.

At two, Marie settled Sofia into her car seat and backed out of the parking space. The only option she had was to drop her off with the Suters while she finished the prep on the shop before the opening. She hated pawning her off on another family, but with Marco out somewhere, she felt she had no other choice.

Thankfully everything at Scandy’s seemed to be in order when she arrived. The construction crew had done a superb job in turning the little hole in a wall joint, into a quaint and cozy café, bakery combo. The servers would be arriving shortly to set up the front, while the bakers were already in the back making cookies and biscotti. The real reason for this soft opening was mostly to congratulate the fact that she’d actually gotten to the point of having her own place. Tonight wasn’t about profit or really selling anything at all. She just wanted to celebrate with the people who had helped turn Minnesota into home.

By four, Sandra showed up. She had entered through the back door like Marie told her to, and found the kitchen is a state of mild disarray. Marie was running around like a chicken with her head cut off, trying to finalize everything. People would be showing up in an hour or so and she felt like there was still so much to do.

“Do you need any help, dear?” Sandra asked, shadowing Marie as she placed a tray of cookies into one of the ovens.

“Hi!” Marie leaned in to kiss Sandra’s cheek, “no I’m good here. Last batch in the oven. Let me get changed real quick. Help yourself to anything!” She sped off for the bathroom with her little black dress in hand.

After checking her cell phone one last time, hoping to see a text or voicemail from Marco, Marie was sadly mistaken when she saw no missed messages. She wiggled into her cocktail dress and touched up her makeup before retreating back into the café. Sandra was at one of the tables by the window, with an Italian wedding cookie in front of her.

“Just like my mother used to make,” Sandra smiled as Marie sat across from her.

“I should hope so. The amount of anxiety I had about screwing up your family’s recipe was enormous. Thanks again for giving me all those recipes; I’d have nothing here if it weren’t for you.”

Sandra waved her hand, dismissing Marie’s fears, “it’s the least I could do. With one daughter and three sons, I’m happy the recipes are being used at all.” She split the cookie in half and handed one side to Marie, “where’s our little Sofia?”

“With one of Marco’s teammates,” she popped her half into her mouth. “I couldn’t risk having her in a kitchen of all places. It’s too dangerous, so the Suters are going to bring her when they stop by.”

“Marco’s been with Francesco all day…”

“I don’t mind Marco spending a day with his dad. I think he should… But I need him to at least check in. And I need him to be there for Sof,”

“You don’t have to convince me of anything, I understand. He gets that from his father, all my boys do. Sometimes they bottle things up, you know? Keep it all inside until it bubbles over and causes confrontation. Although out of all of them, Marco was always the better communicator… But you might have to push with him. Not too much, or he might shell up, but enough so that he knows you’re someone he can go talk to.”

“If he doesn’t already know he can talk to me, I’m afraid we have bigger issues.”

“Marie honey, I’ve been married to Francesco for thirty years, and every time he needed to talk, I had to show him I’d be there. And you know what? It showed me what it really meant to be a loyal partner. Marco’s the same way, dear.”

---

The party was underway and quite successful. Nearly the entire team and their dates or families had come to show their support. And Marie couldn’t have been more thankful to have such a supportive group of people in her life. Marco and his father had arrived shortly after five, and Marie thought that meant he’d tell her what they spent the entire day talking about. But all he did was peck her lips and hide off in the corner with his dad.

Sometime during the night, he wound up with Sofia in his arms. Becky and Ryan had arrived and delivered her safely to her father’s arms. Marie would have liked to go up to him and figure out what was going on, but she had to make her rounds. There were people to thank and hands to shake. Showing Marco he could talk to her would have to wait.

“Thank you all for coming to show your support tonight,” Marie held up her glass to get everyone’s attention on her. She was actually kind of stunned when everyone stopped their previous conversations to look at her. “I always dreamed of having a place like this of my own, but I never thought it was possible. For a ton of different reasons, I never expected to have my own little place. And now I do. I have to thank every single person in this room, either for helping and encouraging me on this journey, or simply turning Minnesota into my new home.” She paused and caught Marco’s stare, “but most of all, I have to thank my love… Marco, lord only knows where I’d be if it weren’t for you. You’ve shown me so much love and kindness over the past year, and you made all of this possible.” She offered him a tiny smile before continuing on, “so thank you again. I look forward to making Scandy’s a St. Paul staple.”

The moment everyone returned to their conversations, Marie made a beeline for Marco. He was alone for the first time tonight. Sofia had been handed off to the grandparents, and Marie felt now was her chance to touch base. She bounded up to him, linking her arm around his and looked up at him. He stared at her with his lips stretched into a small, tight smile.

“Busy day today,” Marie mentioned offhand, trying not to sound too perturbed.

Marco just nodded and lifted his drink to his mouth to take a small sip.

“So uh… what did your dad have to tell you?”

He shot her a quick glance, “I don’t want to talk about it here.”

“Marco you can tell me anything, I want you to know that. I’m here for you,”

“Not here, Marie.”

He walked away, quick to join any other conversation. Marie could hardly believe he was shutting down like this. What his mom had described was the mild deflection of conversation. But this was full-fledged resistance to speaking at all. He was so adamant about keeping things private, even from her. And for the life of her, she couldn’t understand why.

The crowd began to wind down around nine. After four hours, people were mostly ready to go home. Overall the night was rather successful. Most of the players had sent out tweets or pictures on Instagram about where they were, and Marie knew the word of mouth PR would be beneficial to her and the café. By ten, Marco left. He murmured a quick sentence about seeing her at home, and then toted Sofia off in her car seat. He was out the door before she could really even formulate a response.

And by eleven, Marie was saying goodbye to her staff and locking up. She was proud of herself, and of this accomplishment. Unfortunately, she knew she would always remember this night for the way Marco had acted. That was what resonated the most. Mostly, she hoped that by the time she got home, Marco would’ve relaxed enough to explain to her what was bothering him. Only when she did get home, that wasn’t the case.

Marco was sitting shirtless on the couch with Sofia perched on his chest. Ever since the doctor had mentioned that skin on skin contact was beneficial to an infant’s growth and development, he had taken to resting and napping with her shirtless. It was his way of bonding with her, and Marie was thankful he was doing that, even as he seemed to drift further and further away from her.

“Kind of made a hasty exit there,” Marie set her purse on the kitchen table and passed the couch on her way into the bedroom. She thought it might be better to have Marco come to her on his own time to talk.

But as she got ready for bed, and he didn’t come in, she knew he wouldn’t speak up unless she asked. Her patience was beginning to wear thin. This could only go on for so long before she just snapped.

“So we’re home now,” she said from the bedroom doorway. In the same moment, Marco stood up from the couch and walked towards her. Marie moved out of the way as Marco entered the bedroom and set Sofia down in her crib. “I don’t think you’ve said more than thirty words to me today. Did I do something wrong?”

Marco sat at the foot of the bed and curled his hands into fists, rubbing them against his tired eyes. “No, I’ve just had a long day.”

“But you were only with your dad. All day long,”

“Can’t I have a long day with my dad?”

Marie shrugged and stepped closer to him, placing her hands on her hips, “what’d you guys do?”

“We talked,”

She sucked in a deep breath and shook her head. The worst part about this was that Marie wasn’t hearing what she wanted to hear. No apologies for his behavior, and surely no explanation for it either.

“I don’t understand,” Marie stood in front of Marco and set her hands on his shoulders. “You’re gone all day long, you don’t even come back to pick up Sof… you just disappear and all you were doing was talking?”

Marco looked up, eyes heavy with tears, and swiped them away before they could fall. “God, I must be going soft. The guys would make so much fun of me for this…” He sniffled and shook his head, looking back down at his hands.

Marie didn’t say anything because part of her realized Marco didn’t want any pity for this. But she also didn’t want him to think that being sad about something and crying meant he was going soft. She squeezed his shoulders supportively, waiting for him to go on.

“My dad has prostate cancer,"

He choked it out. It was worse than Marie imagined his news to be, and now everything made sense. She was sure her mouth had fallen open, so she took a moment to compose herself before speaking. “Is it bad?”

“Stage three… It’s spread all over,” he whispered like it was a secret that would be made worse by saying it too loudly.

She shook her head and pressed her lips to his forehead, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know…”

Marco stood and held onto her hands, “I just need to be alone for a little while…”

“Marco,”

“I’ll be back… I just have to get out of here for a little bit.” He pulled his hands away, grabbed his coat from the closet and bolted out of the condo.

Marie walked to the crib and swaddled Sofia up in the little blanket. She then bent over to kiss her forehead, and retreated into bed. Marco could be gone for any length of time tonight. She figured he took off to drive somewhere just for the sake of driving. It was one of his favorite things to do, and gave him time to think and clear his head. Mostly, she didn’t mind that. Only it was nerve-wracking to think what could happen to him if he happened to get too caught up in his thoughts.

Notes

"Bed of Lies" by Matchbox Twenty.