“My mama don’t like you and she likes everyone, and I never like to admit that I was wrong… ‘Cause if you like the way you look that much, oh baby you should go and love yourself…”


Rough was a mild understatement of how life was now. Oh not for the team. The team was great; feeling great, playing great. With the firing of Yeo, the team pulled themselves up by their bootstraps and made a run towards playoffs. Now in March, they were trying to keep a hold on their precarious position in the wildcard race.

Marco was in and out of town on constant rotation, enjoying wins mixed with his strong defensive play. The outdoor game had come and gone, serving as a bonding moment for the family. Sofia was making advances of her own. While she still relied on formula, at seven months old, she was fond of solid foods; although any green was hard to get her to keep down. Her vocabulary had advanced slightly. She was now fond of saying ma, pa, and no. And every now and again, Marco could get her to say sì.

Even when Sofia realized her hands could grab hold of and yank things, Marie knew she could handle that. She could handle the pulling of hair and earrings. But what she had a harder time dealing with was the separation anxiety. Sof was at the point now where the café was no longer safe for her. She got into everything at home, so the thought of her being too close to the oven, or a hot pot of coffee was too much of a liability. Marie managed to set things up with the Parise’s babysitter, which worked out well, except for the fact that every time Marie went to drop Sofia off, she bawled her eyes out.

And Sofia knew Marie would come back for her. It’s not like she ever left her there for very long. But she’d cry and throw a tantrum, and it tore Marie’s heart apart every time she left. That was the hardest thing to deal with of late. Marco being out of town was a worry for another day.

Right now she was in New Haven, rushing around in her rented Audi. Marco had set that up after finding out she was heading out of town to continue the wedding plans. The motive for the trip was a little boutique, where she always dreamed about buying her wedding gown. It definitely wasn’t the place to go on a tight budget, but she hoped something would fit into her price range. After all, she didn’t want to have to go to her dad for anything.

Lizzie, Jess, and Carol were all waiting in the boutique when Marie finally waltzed in, toting Sofia in her arm. They even had champagne in their hands, and Marie was being handed a glass by the consultant.

“Here comes the bride… and her little nugget,” Jess sang, carefully leaning in to hug Marie.

“Sorry we’re late…” she handed Sof to her mom and took a sip of her champagne.

“Ma… Ma…” Sof reached out and clenched her hands.

“I’m not going anywhere, Sof.”

“Ma…”

Carol smiled and bounced Sofia in her arms, “you were like that too. From five months to nearly two years old, you wouldn’t even let me out of your sight. Pre-school made it worse.”

The consultant stepped forward and set her hand on Marie’s shoulder, “if we could put you in the first dress…”

Marie nodded and handed her glass to Lizzie and followed the consultant into the dressing room. The first dress had a mermaid silhouette with a sweetheart neckline and the moment Marie stepped into it she had her opinion.

Once back in the showroom, with her mom, Sof, Jess, and Lizzie on the couch waiting to see her. There was a combination of gasps and coos at seeing her in a wedding gown for the first time.

“This isn’t it,” Marie was quick to blurt out. The consultant looked surprised, but Marie just turned on the pedestal. “I’m someone’s mother. I don’t need a dress that practically shows off my nipples, with a fabric-less back that barely covers my ass crack.” She looked at herself in the mirror, noticing the horrified reactions of the other women in the room. “I don’t mean to sound crass or rude. I’m going to be in front of a hundred people, I want something more conservative; sexy yet conservative.”

“I think we have exactly what you’re looking for,” the consultant smiled pleasantly and led Marie back into the dressing room.

The second dress was a little bit better. While the back and chest were more covered, there was a massive slit up the leg. Marie hated everything about it. The third dress made her look like a nun. The fourth dress had long sleeves, and puffy shoulders like something out of a Disney movie. The fifth dress was lace, which Marie really liked. The only bad part was that it was practically see through.

But the sixth dress. She looked at herself in the mirror and knew that with some alterations to hug her body, this was it. Marie pulled back the curtain, and stepped out into the showroom. Carol choked back some tears, and that’s when she really knew. The A-line, lace dress was perfect. Not too puffy, and not too revealing, but still sexy as hell. In it, she knew Marco wouldn’t be able to take his eyes off of her.

“Holy crap,” Lizzie stared. The three of them were all in a little bit of shock, seeing her like this.

“This is it,” she turned slightly and ran her hands over the lace.

“I’d say,” Jess chimed in, tilting her head to the side just completely mesmerized with it.

“Now this dress is a bit out of your desired budget,” the consultant had to rain on the parade a little bit. But at least she wasn’t trying to blindside Marie with the price.

“By how much?” Carol wiped a tissue beneath her eyes.

“About four thousand,”

Marie felt her heart break. If she was going to splurge on this dress, she’d have to sacrifice somewhere else in the wedding, and she didn’t have the heart to do that.

“Marie, don’t worry about it. This’ll be my wedding gift to you.”

“You can’t…”

“Don’t tell me what I can do. If you want it, it’s yours.”

She looked at herself in the mirror once more. It was a gorgeous dress, and she couldn’t imagine walking down the aisle in anything else. She nodded to the consultant, and that began the process of pinning the dress for alterations.

---

Back at the house, Marie eyed the unusual car in the driveway. She doubted her mom had gotten a new car, unless it was a pity gift from her dad. Even as she unbuckled Sofia from her car seat, she questioned who had come to visit. Surely it wasn’t an aunt or uncle, and most definitely not a grandparent.

She pushed open the front door and heard her mom talking in the kitchen. It didn’t sound like she was on the phone, but rather in the middle of a conversation with someone else in the room. And when Marie looked around the corner, her mom was at the kitchen table, with a coffee cup in front of her, and a man across from her.

“Hi there,” Marie mentioned, having a hard time taking her eyes off the older man that sat by her mom.

“What took you so long? I thought you’d forgotten your way?” Carol got up and herded her to the table.

Marie pulled out her own chair, readjusting Sofia in her lap. “I stopped by the store to pick up a banana for Sof. She finished most of her snacks on the plane.”

Carol grinned and reached over, gently pinching Sofia’s cheeks as she sucked on her pacifier. “Jeez I’m rude. Marie, this is Kirk. Kirk, this is my youngest daughter, Marie.”

Marie shook his hand, assuming that meant they were together. And silently, she wondered if her dad knew about this arrangement. “Mom you didn’t tell me you were with anyone,”

“I’m pretty new,” Kirk smiled. “Is it alright for me to be with your mom?”

She looked down at Sofia and brushed her hair to the side, “yeah she’s a grown woman, she can do what she wants. I just didn’t know.” After looking back and forth between them, Marie looked at the clock on the wall and stood up, “I’ll be back. I want to call Marco before he gets too far gone with his game day routine.”

She excused herself and scurried up the stairs with Sofia, immediately dialing his number on her phone. Just as she kicked her bedroom door shut, Marco picked up the phone. “I have to talk to you,” she wasted no time in trying to get this off her chest.

“I’m listening baby,”

“My mom’s with someone.” It was blunt, and when Marco didn’t say anything in return, she continued. “His name’s Kirk… As in captain,”

“Is he nice?”

Marie shrugged her shoulders and sat Sofia back along the pillows on the bed. “I only said like two words to him. But he’s at the house acting like he’s here all the time.”

“Marie, honey… not too long ago your mom found us in towels. And you remember how much it angered you that she was punishing us for our relationship. Don’t do the same to her. She needs someone,”

“But who is this guy? He’s just around…”

“Why don’t you get to know him then?”

“It’s not like he’ll be around forever. Mom’ll have her fun. Dad’ll buy her off, and Kirk will be out the door before Dad’s check even passes.”

“You’re mean,” Marco chuckled.

“It’s true. How’s Montreal?”

He took a deep breath in and let it out in a slow sigh, “saw my mum. Can you believe it’s already been three months since my dad passed away?”

“Time’s flying…” They listened to each other’s breaths for a moment. Finally Marie cleared her throat, “Sofia’s third tooth is coming in.”

“Top middle?” After Marie nodded and hummed in validation, he continued, “I noticed she was eating differently. Kind of favoring it a little bit. Oh you know what else? I put her in the bouncer the other day, and her legs are a little bowed. Are you sure you didn’t sleep with Crosby?”

“You know with that ass of his, I wouldn’t put it past me.”

“So if you ever leave me, I guess I know who you’ll be going to.”

Marie laughed and reached out for Sofia as her face twisted unpleasantly. She was either taking a massive crap, or on the path towards a total meltdown. And judging by the time, Marie knew she needed a nap sooner rather than later. “I have to go put Sof down. She’s melting,”

“Yeah of course. Kiss her for me, and I’ll check in after the game.”

After they exchanged I love you’s, Marie lay Sofia down in the portable crib her mom had bought for this occasion. And like most days now, Sof wailed and screamed to not be left alone. Both Marie and Marco agreed that they shouldn’t over-baby her with this. There was a time for independence and a time for comfort, and they didn’t want Sofia to be too overly dependent. Still, it crushed Marie every time she had to turn her back.

With the baby monitor in hand, she sauntered back into the kitchen where Carol and Kirk were still at the table, finishing up their coffee. She retook her seat and tried to remember what Marco had advised; give him a chance, her mother needed someone.

“Marie, congratulations on your engagement. Your mother tells me you’re marrying a hockey player,”

Marie shifted her eyes to Kirk. He looked genuinely interested in the topic. “Marco Scandella. He’s with the Minnesota team,”

“That’s wonderful. And your daughter is adorable.”

She smiled and looked down at the baby monitor. Sofia had since quieted down.

“Marie, have you told your father about the engagement?” Carol stood from the table and set her cup in the sink.

Marie placed the monitor on the table and leaned back in her chair, indignantly. “I don’t plan to,”

“Who’ll pay for the ceremony and reception?”

“Marco and I have already worked it out. We’ve budgets and decided that we want him to have nothing to do with our wedding.”

“He’s your father,” Carol came back to the table.

“He beat me.”

“He fixed Sofia’s heart,”

“He beat me.”

They stared each other down, and had it not been for Kirk to break the silence, they probably would’ve kept it going for a while. “Carol… It’s her wedding,”

“What kind of girl doesn’t invite her father to her wedding?”

“The kind who’s sick and tired of getting her ass beat. Do you even realize how long it took me to figure out that I didn’t deserve that? Do you know how many guys I let fuck me over because of him?”

“I raised you better…”

“You raised me to accept abuse,” Marie interrupted viciously. “So he fixed Sofia’s heart. I called on him as a surgeon, not as a father. At least he can do one job,”

“You should reconsider,”

“You should respect my decision.” Marie stood and grabbed the monitor, “Sofia and I will be leaving tomorrow. I’ll be having the dressed shipped St. Paul, so I won’t be back before the wedding. Expect your invitation in the mail.” Just as she turned, she thought better of leaving the conversation there, and she glanced back at her mom, “and your plus one does not extend to dad.”

Marie ran back up the stairs, quietly shutting her bedroom door behind her. Sofia was asleep in her crib, blissfully unaware of the drama in her life.

Notes

"Love Yourself" by Justin Bieber.

I can't believe summer's already over. Now that I've started up classes again, updates will be weekly again instead of every couple days. Good luck in school, everyone!