The Cabin by the Lake

We spent almost all of our time together. I felt happy, like actually happy. Ryan was the ideal boyfriend, surprise flowers, compliments, and the sex is amazing. I’ve been trying to think of ways to tell him about Patrick…but as the days went by, the thought went further and further through my head. As thanksgiving approached, so did my birthday. The only time my birthday was celebrated was in college. I avoided the topic of my birthday with Ryan, I kept telling him to not get my anything. It’s November 20th. The guys have the day off and Ryan is busy doing something most likely for my birthday. Zac and I were at the Bruin’s gym. We were using a matted room. The guys were getting used to seeing me work out with Zac, I was there almost every time he was to work on my fighting and defensive moves. Zac was getting irritated with me that I hadn’t talked to Ryan about it all yet. “So, when are you going to tell him?” I rolled my eyes, “I don’t know Zac. It’s not something I can just blurt out.” He shook his head at me, “He’s gunna find out. And if it’s not from you he’ll flip.” I took a jab at him, “I know.” He got me into a lock, but I got out. “Have you told him about us yet?” I shook my head, “That would lead to too many questions. He knows we work out.” Zac pinned me to the ground, “If you don’t tell him, I will.” I flipped him on his back and held down his arms. “This isn’t your thing to talk about Zac.” He flipped me onto my back, “I feel like I’m lying to one of my best friend. He needs to know about us, about what’s going on.” We heard the door open and we looked over, “What is going on?” Ryan stood there, his eyes had a mix of hate and sadness running through them. Zac got off of me and I stood up. “Ry…I can explain…”I walked towards him but he just shook his head. “No need. I think I figured it out.” He walked away and I looked back at Zac and then in the direction Ryan walked off to. I ran after him, trying to work out in my head what had happened and what was going on. I found him outside, just pacing. “Ry…let me explain. It’s not what you think it is.” He laughed, “So you weren’t just rolling on the floor with my teammate? I’m not stupid Em. I knew you still had feelings. I knew it…” I shook my head, “no…I mean yeah we were rolling around…but I don’t have feelings…He’s been teaching me how to fight…how to defend myself.” He shook his head at me, “This is getting back at me right? For being with Steph? Well fuck you Emily.” He walked passed me, “It’s not about that at all…I told you, what’s in the past is in the past…” He nodded, “Then what the fuck?” I took a deep breath, “come over tonight. I’ll explain everything.” He shook his head at me, “No Emily. I’m not giving you time to create some excuse.” He went to open the door back into the building. “He’s helping me learn to fight because my abusive ex-boyfriend threatened me.” He turned to me, “really?” I nodded, and he did a small laugh under his breath, “Come up with a better excuse next time.” He walked back into the building. Did he….did he really just walk away? Did he really not believe me? I fell to my knees, tears escaping. My heart hurt.

I got a text from Zac later, how did it go? I was in bed, crying, and a bottle deep in the rum Casey had in the kitchen, trying to figure out how I could get him to believe me. It was shitty. I tried to tell him the truth and he doesn’t believe me. I took another sip of the rum, you have to get him to believe… I laughed No shit was all I wrote to him. I grabbed my jacket and put some shoes on. I grabbed my phone, keys, and wallet. Casey and Amanda were on the couch. “Hey, you okay?” I smiled, “Yup. Going for a walk.” Casey paused their movie, “Ems it’s almost midnight…maybe just stay in?” I shook my head, “I can’t stand to look at these walls anymore Casey. I’m going fucking crazy right now.” She just nodded, “call me if you need anything.” I nodded and left. The streets of Boston were quiet for a Friday night. I stumbled to a bar and sat there. “What can I get you?” the bartender asked, “Vodka.” He poured me a shot and I took it. I looked out to the young crowed, all dancing and having a great time. I got a few more shots before leaving the bar. I stumbled to another bar, louder and more crowded than the last one. I waited at the bar for a while before someone noticed me. “This drink is from the guy at the end of the bar.” He gave me a beer and I nodded. I walked towards the end of the bar trying to find who it might be. “Oh good, you got it.” I turned at the voice, and I dropped the glass on the floor.

“Always making messes Emily.” I threw a 20 at the bartender and yelled sorry before trying to make my way out of the bar, but he was right on my tail. I got out and started to walk in any direction that was away from him. I felt someone grab my arm. “All alone tonight? I told you I’d find you.” I tried to get my arm away from his, but his grip was too tight. “You don’t scare me Patrick.” He laughed, “But don’t I?” I shook my head and got my arm back. “Fuck you. Fuck you and all the shit you did to me. We aren’t even together and you’re still ruining my life, you know that?” He laughed, “Then come back to me. If your life is still shit.” I shook my head, “My life is perfect, okay? I’ve got great friends and a great boyfriend.” He nodded, “That’s why you’re all alone?” He stepped closer to me and rubbed my arm, “hey, are you okay? In all honestly…” I shook my head, “no…” My eyes started to tear up and he hugged me. He was just hugged me. “Tell me what’s wrong.” His fingers brushed against my face, “You. You are always the problem. I tried to tell my boyfriend about you and he didn’t believe me.” He smiled, “Well that’s unfortunate.” He grabbed my arms and kissed me. I pushed him away, “are you fucking crazy?” I looked into his eyes and there it was…the look. The look he’s always given me, the look he gave me the night after my first date with Ryan. “You’re alone. You’re vulnerable. You’re weak. Come back with me, I’ll make you feel something.” I shook my head as I started to walk backwards. “I’m not weak. Not anymore.” I stopped walking and got my stance ready, I knew he’d attack me soon. He walked towards me laughing, “There is no one around, not even a stranger. You think you can fight me off? You’re wrong.” He grabbed my neck and squeezed. I got away from it and he came after me again. He went to push me and I grabbed his arm with my left hand. He laughed and grabbed my arm, squeezing until I heard something break. Pain shot down my arm and throughout my whole body. Zac’s words came into my head No more Emily…I don’t want to see that on you ever again. He went to shove me again as he laughed, and with my right arm I grabbed his and turned it around his back. I tripped him and pinned him on the ground. I saw someone walking towards us, “Call 911! This man tried to attack me!” They ran over with a few others and someone called 911. A group of guys grabbed Patrick and held him back. “You little bitch. You stupid little bitch.” He got out of their grips, but they held him back. But he still got one more shot in. He head butted me and the last thing I heard was sirens before I hit the ground.

Notes

Thank you to all my readers!