Angel

“My shadow's only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone”
Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day

A month later, Jamie and I were back on speaking terms. However, things were on the rocks for me and James. The Penguins were knocked out of the playoffs the week before and I haven’t seen him since. I gave him space for the first few days but have been trying to contact him since Monday. It’s Thursday. Geno says he’s been on bar duty for the past few nights which basically means he makes sure James isn’t doing anything stupid while he’s drunk.

I usually walk up to his apartment at about 1 o’clock every day. He never answers the door, but I know he’s in there because I hear him stumbling around. I flashed back to a conversation I had with the Geno the other day.

“Do you know why James had been avoiding me?” I asked G.

“No. I think he just doesn’t want to hurt you, after what you’ve been through.” I told Geno about my past a couple months ago and he was totally understanding. Ever since, he’s been the best friend and brother I never had until a few months ago.

“Are you sure? What if he’s cheating on me?”

Geno stared at me, “He would never and you know that.”

“Do I.”

I wanted answers, and I wanted them now. I threw on my sweatshirt and leggings and walked up to his apartment. I stood outside his apartment and prepared myself for the rejection that was bound to be waiting on the other side. I raised my fist but stopped when I heard voices;

“When are you dumping her,” one voice asked.

“You’re dumping her? I thought you liked her.” another voice said.

“My PR manager said I should lose the bad boy image.” A voice I recognized as James’s said.

They didn’t say anything else, or maybe I just couldn’t hear it. Silent tears were running down my face as I moved on autopilot back down to my apartment.

*********

After dropping Bacardi off with Geno, a 3 hour flight, and a 30 minute taxi ride, I knocked on the door.

The knob turned, “Cameron.”

“Jamie.”

James POV

After Mike, Chad, and Sid left, I was pretty drunk. I collapsed on the couch but got back up what felt like minutes but was really a couple hours when I heard pounding on the door.

“Geno?”

“You tell me why YOUR girl come to me in tears?” he yelled.

“What are you talking about, G,” I asked confused.

“You’ve been ignoring her for the whole week.” he said matter-of-factly.

I looked down as I realized what he was talking about. “I just don’t want to hurt her.”

He sighed, “A little too late for that. She thought you were cheating on her.”

I look up, horrified, “I would never.”

He sneers, “Why, trying to lose bad boy image?”

I’m confused until the conversation comes rushing back to me, “No that’s not what I meant. She’s helping me lose my bad boy image just by being with me. She’s way too good for me. I can’t do this without her.”

“Maybe you shoulda thought about that a week ago,” G said before he walked out.

It takes me a minute to realize that I’m alone. Cam won’t help me outta this mess. No- I need her.

I run down to her floor and pound on her door. I wait a couple seconds and then knock some more. Her neighbor comes out and tells me she left a couple hours ago and hasn’t come back. I thank him and then realize I have to talk to Geno. Again.

********

I knocked on his door and heard two dogs barking. Last time I checked, Geno only had one dog.

I heard Geno’s voice through the door, “Jeffrey! Bacardi!”

I reeled back. Cameron wouldn’t leave Bacardi with someone unless she was leaving for awhile. Shit- where could she be.

Geno opened the door, “Lazy.” Nickname, good start. It means he’s not too mad.

“Why is Bacardi here?”

“I don’t know, Cam just dropped her off.” he said.

“Do you know where she went?” I asked.

“No she just asked me to watch her.

“Can I take her?”

“I no think that’s best idea.”

“Please,” I begged, “she knows me. Plus Nixon loves her.”

“What about you?”

“I like Bacardi.”

“Not Bacardi, Cam.”

“I don’t know how I feel about Cam.”

“Wel-”

I interrupted him, “However, what I do know is, I always want to be with her and when I’m not, it feels like a piece of me is missing. For the first time ever, I wish I didn’t have to leave every week, that I didn’t play hockey. But does she hold that against me, no. The one time she left me, I almost couldn’t handle it. When I took her to the Stats’ locker room, I wanted to kill all those guys because they were looking at her. I wanna cry when she cries. I laugh when she laughs. I just want her to be happy and maybe it makes me selfish but damnit I want her to be happy with me.”

He smiled and handed me Bacardi’s leash.

Cam POV

I stepped out onto Jamie’s patio so I could call Geno and check up on Bacardi.

“Hello,” a deep Russian voice said.

“Hey, Geno. I’m just calling to check up on Bacardi.”

He hesitated.

“Geno..”

“James has her.”

“What?!” I exclaimed.

“He came over looking for you and left with your dog.”

“I’ll see you later, Geno.” I said and hung up the phone.

I went back inside.

“So…” Jamie asked.

“I need a one way ticket to Pittsburgh.”

Notes

I'm back. Thanks to all those who are still reading and hope this chapter is ok after the month long wait.