Addicted

I went a burning light in my face causing me to slightly open my eyes up. I noticed that I wasn’t sleeping in my own bed and this was definitely not my room. Then it all came to me, all the memories from last night were still in my head and I felt like I wanted to shoot myself. How could I get so damn drunk that I decided it was a good idea to knock violently on Tyler’s door and make a fool out of myself.

‘’Fuck me…’’ I grouted wanted to bury my body deep into the ground and not show my face in Dallas ever again.

‘’Not right now, maybe later. I think you should drink your coffee first.’’ Someone said and I quickly shut my eyes open to see Tyler walk over to my bedside with a mug in his hand. I sat up so I could take the cup from him. I think the smell of coffee might be even better than the actual taste.

‘’Funny to make a joke to someone who’s fucked up.’’

‘’It can’t be worse than last night, I thought some crazy fan had found my address and tried to kick the door in or something.’’

‘’God.. Sorry about that I have no idea why I came here, I should have went straight home.’’

‘’As I said last night, better that you came here than being alone on the streets somewhere.’’
‘’I don’t know about that, it would save me the embarrassment.’’

‘’Drink up your coffee so I can drive you home soon, I have practice in an hour.’’

‘’It’s fine you can drive me now, I’m not in the mood for anything except water and sleep to be honest.’’

I put down the coffee mug and slowly got out of bed, it felt like my brain would pop out of my head any moment.

‘’That’s what you get for drinking.’’ Tyler looked at me with an amused expression on his face, clearly seeing that I’m in bad shape at the moment.

‘’Shut and let’s get to your car.’’ I pushed him out of the room so we could get going. This was enough embarrassment for me and I just wanted to go home, home to my comfortable warm bed.

‘’Are you sure you don’t want anything with you in the car, to eat?’’ He asked when we reached the hallway on the first floor.

‘’Yeah, unless you want me to throw up in your car. But hey that your decision.’’ I said and chuckled and he just shook his head with a smile on his lips.

‘’This got the humor I see.’’ He pointed out and opened the front door so I could walk out in the warm air, gotta love Dallas for it’s weather.

‘’Hold on.’’ He suddenly said and pulled me back against the front door he just had closed behind him.

‘’What?’’ I said slightly irritated by the fact that he usually pins me against a wall or a door when he gets the chance. He just smirked and hold me in a tight grip staring at me, making me even more confused than before. ‘’What do you want?’’ I asked and hoped that he would answer me this time.

‘’You bit your lip. You do that when you’re nervous I have noticed, and you do it a lot around me.’’ His lips got closer to mine and my heart started beating faster and my cheeks turned slightly red.

‘’You’re doing it again.’’ He placed his thumb on my bottom lip and stroked it causing me to get goose bumps all over my body, and my eyes drowned in his.

‘’It’s so fun to see the affect I have on you.’’ He looked amused and chuckled while letting me go and walking backwards towards his car.

‘’Oh fuck off.’’ I said extremely irritated that he just got me really turned on and didn’t even place his lips on mine, something that I crave every time I see them.

I took a seat next to him in his car and he put on the radio on a low volume before driving away.

‘’So, you at my place.. Will this become a habit for you?’’ He chuckled and broke his gaze on the road for a split second to face me.

‘’No, only in your dreams probably. But honestly, I clearly can’t trust myself in a drunken statement so I can’t make any promises.’’

‘’Or you could come by and watch a movie or something, sober.’’ He suggested and I turned to him and gave him a weird look like someone just told me Donald Trump is the new president.

‘’Nah, this is probably not the last you’ll see of me but we need a breather. We have seen much of each other in a short time frame, that’s not good.’’

‘’You’re hurting my feelings here.’’ He chuckled and I scoffed.

‘’Yeah right.. You’re one sensitive dude.’’ I said with a sarcastic tone in my voice.

‘’You think you’re so tough and unemotional but I can read you. You want to fight me, you want to be in control but you’re drawn to me. You like me and that scares you.’’ He smirked and I just shook my head causing him to smirk even bigger.

‘’That’s the funniest thing anyone has ever told me, honestly. If you think that you’re thinking extremely highly of yourself mister. I can’t like anyone I don’t know.’’

‘’Sometimes it feels like you can’t like anyone, not even yourself.’’ He stated and shrugged knowing he just pushed my buttons to far.

‘’Stop acting like a fucking therapist when I’m hungover.’’

‘’Drinking your problems away.’’ He couldn’t stop smiling at my anger which just made my blood boil in my veins.

‘’What the hell do you want?’’ I shouted starting to get seriously angry, a side he hasn’t nor want to see.

‘’Sorry it’s just fun to push your buttons a little, it’s so easy.’’ He chuckled and I rolled my eyes at him.

‘’You’re like an annoying little brother.’’ I muttered and looked out of the window so I didn’t have to look at him.

‘’I’m older than you, and hopefully you don’t sleep with your little brother.’’

‘’It was just a comment, I don’t even have a little brother asshole.’’

‘’Relax with the attitude, remember who helped you last night. I’m just messing around with you.’’
‘’Well, I don’t like it. I’m not in the mood.’’

‘’Are you ever in the mood?’’ I eyed him down with an angry stare and he gave in. ‘’Okay I’m sorry I will stop.’’

‘’Thanks..’’ I mumbled and realized that Tyler stopped. Thank God I’m home. That’s a thought I’ll probably regret when I go face to face with Tatiana in a few minutes.

‘’Thank you for the ride. I might owe you for last night so if you need anything just call me.’’ I said and opened the car not to excited to announce that I owe him something, but it’s the right thing to do. I’m mostly a bitch all of the time but God should know that I do have my moments.

‘’Don’t worry I’ll call you since I know you want me to.’’ He smirked and I just shut the door so he could drive away already. I don’t understand how he can get under my skin so easily, maybe it’s something hockey players are good at since they do it on the ice all the time.
He restarted his car and drove away while I took the first steps towards my apartment.
_______________________________________________________________________________

I walked inside and shouted Alyssa’s name hoping she would be her and hoping that Tatiana wouldn’t. When I didn’t get an answer I walked into the kitchen thinking I was alone which was a nice feeling. But when I was about to walk to the refrigerator to get some yogurt I noticed Tatiana sitting on the floor leaning against the kitchen island.

‘’Hey..’’ I looked down on her but she kept looking down at the floor with her hands resting on her knees. ‘’Are you okay?’’ I asked starting to get worried that something more horrible than what went down between us has happened. That’s when she looked up, into my eyes. I could sense her anger and a lot of sadness when I looked into her blue eyes.

‘’Do you really have to ask that?’’ She stated and I sat down on the floor in front of her, leaning my back against the cold refrigerator. When she said that I realized that she talked about me, about us.

‘’The fact that you can just say something like that in a room filled with people we don’t know, annoys the living fuck out of me. No excuses can help you at this point.’’ She continued and I just nodded trying to come up with the right words to use.

‘’I know, I take full responsibility and I’m extremely sorry for what I said.’’ I looked down on my feet, breaking our eye contact.

‘’You didn’t have my back. You’re the one person who needs to have my back right now! I always have your back, if you murdered someone I would still have your back. I have messed up and fallen for an unavailable man and that’s fucked up, but you still have to have my back on this one!’’ She shouted and banged her fist against the floor next to her causing me to shift my attention from my feet back to her face.

‘’I understand that. I know that you’re in a bad situation but I wouldn’t be your friend if I just let you make mistakes and keep making mistakes that wouldn’t be fair to our relationship. The way I have commented it is not okay and it won’t happen again, promise. I mean it this time I really love you T.’’ I could tell that her eyes softened and her heart beat started to slow down and get back to normal.

‘’You’re one tough person to stay mad at, do you know that?’’ She answered and I could sense a small smile on her lips.

‘’It’s one of my most useful qualities since I get into a shit load of trouble all of the time.’’
‘’That’s very true.’’ She chuckled and I joined in.

‘’I really messed up yesterday on so many different occasions. Wouldn’t be surprised if I get fired.. So I’m not in a position to judge anyone, especially not you.’’ I sighed and thought about my situation with Matthews yesterday.

‘’Fired? God what have you done now Nadia?’’ Tatiana looked at me with a judgmental stare.

‘’You don’t want to know, so let’s just drop it.’’ I shrugged and got up on my feet and she quickly followed my moves.

‘’Is it ice cream bad?’’

‘’I would definitely call it ice cream bad.’’

‘’Okay, come on let’s find some in the freezer.’’

‘’Have I told you that you’re amazing and that I love you.’’

‘’Not enough so keep saying it.’’ She said and chuckled while looking for ice cream in the freezer.
_____________________________________________________________________________

‘’Maybe I should get to know Lucas..’’ I suddenly said while digging in the ice cream can. Me and Tatiana were currently sitting in the couch with a blanket and ice cream waiting for Alyssa to come home.

‘’What are you talking about now?’’ She sighed and smiled at me.

‘’You clearly feel for him, maybe I should get to know him better to realize why you like him.’’ I shrugged and thought about it, maybe it would be a good idea.

‘’Are you having a brain freeze because of the ice cream or what’s happening here?’’ She chuckled and shook her head at me.

‘’Yeah it’s probably a bad idea..’’

‘’It’s one of your worst so far. Trust me I’m not going to see him anymore, his family needs him not me.’’

‘’The dumb part is that he will just find another girl to screw, keep hurting his family.’’ I said and took another spoon with ice cream.

‘’Maybe I should become a lesbian, men sucks.’’ Tatiana took a deep breath and reached for the ice cream can.

‘’I could totally do you if I were a lesbian, so I might join you on that.’’

‘’Wouldn’t it be nice? To get away from the boy drama.’’

‘’Yeah but you’ll get girl drama instead, sometimes that’s even worse.’’ I explained thinking about how dramatic girls can be at times.

‘’That’s very true. I might just give up on all humans.’’

‘’Just do what I do, fuck without the emotional part.’’ I said causing her to laugh at me.

‘’Do you really think you’re doing that?’’ She raised her eyebrows at me and put some chocolate flavored ice cream in her mouth, looking amused.

‘’What do you mean?’’

‘’I love that you’re so blind. You have been sleeping around with Quentin for a year, yes you have slept with others as well but still, you care for him. Maybe not in a ‘’I could date him’’ kind of way but you definitely care for him. Tyler.. Don’t get me started on that. You have just met the guy but he’s still the first one you turn to like last night, the one you want to turn to, the one you want to be close to. You think you don’t care but you care a lot. You’re not a bad person you’re just a little broken so you can’t deal with the fact that you actually have emotions and feelings.’’ She explained and I just sighed. Deep down I know that she might be a little right but there’s no way in hell I would ever admit that.

‘’I don’t want a boyfriend.’’

‘’I’m not saying that, I just mean that everyone have emotions and feelings it’s normal.’’

‘’So you seemed to get along with the boys last night, anyone you could consider hooking up with?’’ I don’t want to talk about my feelings and emotions so I tried to change to subject and focus our conversation on her instead.

‘’Way to change the subject.’’ She laughed at me and but down the ice cream can on the table.

‘’No but they’re great guys. I gave them my number so they have all been checking in on me after our fight yesterday. I would love to hang out with them again because they’re really fun and nice.’’

‘’I won’t hang out with them again, totally made a fool out of myself..’’

‘’They just have to get to know you. You’re a hard person to get to know but when you let that guard down, everyone loves you.’’

‘’Everyone? You mean you and Alyssa.’’

‘’Well if you want more people to love you, you need to let them in.’’ She said and looked at me with compassion.

Notes

Hello everyone! Since I changed my tumblr account I can't log in to my first account where I originally posted this story, so annoying. But the story will be continued on this account so make sure to subcribe to this story, because I will keep updating this one.