Confessions of An Ice Girl

A few weeks had passed since James and I "made up". We were talking once and awhile, but not "getting back together". He was at Matt Niskanen's wedding and I was laying on Jordyn's coach, eating thin mints flipping through the channels on the TV when my phone rang, "Hello?"

"Abigail! How did you not call us and tell us that that boy broke up with you?!" my mother yelled

"Uh...what?" I said confused. I hadn't told my parents that James and I broke up and I definitely didn't say that he broke up with me. "Who told you that?"

"Your friend Mya. We saw her at the supermarket. Abigail, why didn't you tell us?! You need to come home right now. Your father and I will come get you..."

"Mom! That isn't necessary. I'm staying with Jordyn and James didn't break up with me. I broke up with him...."

"Abigail, what were you thinking?!"

"Mom, why are you mad? You acted like you didn't even like James and now you want to be angry?! This is my decision and yes James will still be in Ella's life and yes he will still help me as much as he can. I'm tired of you and dad trying to control me and make my choices. I'm 21 almost 22. I'm old enough to make my own choices. I love you and dad, but I'm staying here with Jordyn until I decide what I want to do. I have to go now, bye." I said hanging up before mom could say anything else.

I know my mom meant best, but I just couldn't stand her at the moment. I sighed and grabbed my phone thinking about texting James, but I decided against it since he was probably busy at the wedding. "Hello hello?" Jordyn said coming in with Ava in tow

"Abby!!" Ava said running over to me

"Hey!" I said sitting up and hugging her

"Oh my gosh your pregnant belly is so cute!"

I smiled "Thanks."

"Have you picked out a name? You're having a girl?"

I nodded "Her names going to be Ella. Ella Vivian Neal."

"Oh. You're giving her James' last name?" Ava asked

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Well, I just thought that since you two were having problems that...nevermind."

"James and I have our differences, yes, but we are putting those aside for our baby. I want him to be a part in her life and he says he will do anything and everything for her...and for me."

"Can I ask you a question? Why aren't you with him?" Ava asked

"Ava! I told you not to ask about this..." Jordyn started

"No no. It's fine." I sighed "James and I just...we both need time to think about what we actually want out of this relationship. He needs to think about whether or not he's serious about me and I need to do the same. Things moved way too fast...and I know we will be forever linked because of Ella, but relationship wise? It's best we just stay friends as of now."

"So...you plan on getting back with him?" Jordyn asked "After what he did?"

"What did he do?" Ava asked

"Well...we broke up and I had Jordyn come get me. I stayed the night at Jordyn's and in the morning, I kind of regretted it. I was just lashing out at James because of my parents' disapproval of him...of me being pregnant. So I went back there to apologize and some blonde girl was in his kitchen wearing one of his shirts and just her underwear. I slapped him. We shared a few words and then I left and he tried following me."

"So you broke up with him and less than a day later he was screwing some girl?" Ava asked

"Yep. But we're past that now. James apologized. I apologized and we're on good terms. He called the other day and we had a really long, really nice conversation." I replied

"Well, that's good, I guess." Ava said

"I never thought of James Neal as the settling down type." Jordyn said

I shot her a look "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean, from what I've seen of him the past few years, he doesn't seem to settle down much. He's always flirting with multiple girls at the bar. I just feel like this decision is going to be what is best for you in the future. That's what I'm trying to say..."

I hated to admit it, but Jordyn was right. Again, don't get me wrong. James was a sweet guy with a heart of gold, but he did mess around a lot. I had heard rumors about Dallas and practically everyone knew of his reputation here in Pittsburgh. I sighed, "Yeah...but I thought...maybe he'd change for me."

"He won't change, Abby. They never change." Jordyn replied

I shrugged and flipped the channel again. This time with it going to NBCSN with the NHL draft on. Gary Bettman was at the podium "Ladies and gentleman, we have a trade to announce." the crowd errupted in a mixture of cheers and boos. "The Pittsburgh Penguins has aquired Patric Hornqvist and Nick Spalling from the Nashville Predators in exchange for James Neal." I screamed and turned up the volume as Bettman repeated "That's Neal for Hornqvist and Spalling."

"Abby...Abby? Are you okay?!" Jordyn asked

"I...I think my water just broke..." I gasped

"Shit. Now? Ava help me get her to my car. We have to go to the hospital." Jordyn said grabbing my hospital bag and helping me up. "Just breathe, Abby." she said as they helped me into the car

"Call...call James." I stammered

"Abby, we have other things to worry about right now." Ava said

"Call James!!!" I practically yelled before grabbing my stomach in pain

"Okay okay. I'll call him when we get to the hospital." Ava promised
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I was laying in bed at the hospital. The OBYN had given me and epidural and I was drifting in and out of sleep. Jordyn was in the chair beside me and Ava had stayed for a while but then left. "Have you heard from him?" I mumbled barely managing to keep my eyes open

"Ava called him." Jordyn said

"Is he coming?"

"He's trying to. He was all the way in Minnesota for Matt's wedding, but he's catching the earliest flight he can."

"I want him here..."

"I know, Abby...do you want me to call anyone else?"

"Call my mom and dad..." I said handing her my phone before the medicine took over and I fell asleep
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"Well why isn't he here?!" I heard my mom grumble to Jordyn

"He was at a friend's wedding. He'll be here as soon as he can." Jordyn said

"Why would he go to a wedding when Abby is pregnant?!"

"Because mother, he has a life and has friends! Also if you didn't know I wasn't supposed to go for almost 2 more weeks! If you're going to talk shit about James, you two can just go." I snapped

"Honey, just leave it at that." dad said "The boy will be here when he can."

"James. His name is James and I..ow ow..." I gritted my teeth as the first contraction happened

"Breathe, Abby." Jordyn said letting me squeeze her hand.

I really wished James was there. I wanted him to be the one holding my hand and telling me it would be okay. I just started crying "I can't do this without him, Jordyn! I can't...I need him here..." I sobbed

"He'll be here soon, Abby...I promise he will. It's going to be okay." Jordyn soothed trying to calm me down

"He got traded, Jordyn! What am I going to do without him here..." I sobbed even harder "How can I raise a baby when her father is going to be 600 miles away?"

"You'll find a way to make it work, Abby. You always do." Jorydn said as there was a knock on the door. Jordyn got up to get it "Oh thank God you're here..." she said

"Is everything okay?" James' voice asked

"James?" I called starting to sob even harder

James came in and sat by my side "I'm here, Abby. I'm sorry it took so long. Are you doing okay?"

"I'm better now." I said grabbing his hand

James half smiled "Good."

"You got traded..." I said

James looked down "Abby, let's not talk about that right now, okay? I don't want to think about that. The only thing on my mind right now is you and our baby girl. Okay?"

I smiled "Okay."
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An hour or so and lots of pushing later, on June 28th at 6:30am, Ella Vivian Neal was born. She weighed 6 pounds on the dot and was about 19 1/2 inches. She was beautiful. I looked over at James holding her in his arms and smiled "James?"

"Yeah?" he said smiling over at me

"We have to talk about the trade."

"Abby..."

"James. We have to. What are we going to do?"

"Well...like I told you. I will be there for you and for Ella in anyway I can. I will give you financial support...I know I won't be able to physically be there but I can hire someone to help you...or..."

"Or what?"

"Or you can come to Nashville with me."

"James...I can't do that." I sighed

"Why not, Abby?"

"I just can't."

James nodded "Well, I'll do what I can. Anytime we come to Pittsburgh, I'll come see you and Ella. Anytime we get an extended break, I'll visit. If you want, I'll fly you to Nashville. Whatever I can do."

"Okay." I said. Looking down. I felt bad for telling him I couldn't go to Nashville, but I needed to stay in Pittsburgh. With my family and friends..and James...James had to go to Nashville with his new team...

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