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Jordie Benn has known many, many women in his life, but everyone, of course, starts somewhere.

He lost his virginity when he was sixteen to a darling little thing named Emma. If you asked him, he would tell you he lost everything to her, as she was his first in more ways than one. But we’ll get there.

They met innocuously in algebra sophomore year. Assigned seating put them right next to each other and Jordie’s poor math skills made him an easy target for her skillful attentions.

This was before the beard, before the massive body he would grow into as an adult. However, at the core, he was still Jordie: saggy hair, penetrating eyes, sweet smile, outwardly quiet demeanor that masked his general confidence and poise.

Emma was lightness personified: ivory skin and loose blonde curls, pale green eyes and the cheekbones even the Gods would envy. And she was outgoing, offering to help him during class and then inviting herself over to his house so they could do the homework together.

That first afternoon they hid out the basement, actually doing algebra until she went home for dinner. It was all purely innocent until she kissed his cheek as she brushed passed him through the doorway on her way out, mumbling, “Bye, Jordie.”

Afterwards she practically ran away, refusing to look back, slightly appalled at her behaviour, but not regretting it. Jordie stared after her, partly in shock, but also in awe. This contact with her lips awoke something in him for the first time: unadulterated lust and longing.

The next day during math class, they shared glances across the aisle. Emma grinned and bit her lip when she met his eyes and then quickly refocused on the problem on the dry erase board, scribbling down notes and trying to ignore the heat of his eyes still on her. Jordie looked forward as well, doing his best to fight the now raging hard on he was sporting. All it took was a few nice words, a chaste kiss, and he was so far gone he felt lost at sea.

All he wanted was to see her again, to feel her kiss again, smell her hair and maybe touch her skin. She was as naive as he was, but to him she was a wanton temptress liable to drive him clear out of his mind.

She looked over when he wasn’t paying attention and blushed thinking about how forward she had been. She hadn’t meant to come on so strong and she certainly hadn’t meant to kiss him. But he had just looked too cute, been too nice, burned too bright. She hadn’t been able to resist him.

He looked over again and their eyes met. Neither of them looked away. They shared a smile, a secret, and as any teenager can tell you, these are often two of the most sensual experiences one can have.

When the bell rang, they met in the hall, walking together until necessity made them part. He asked, “You coming over today?”

Emma, nearly glowing with happiness, answered breathlessly, “Yes.”

She turned towards the stairs, but he pulled her back towards him with a hand on her arm, kissing her cheek so quickly it was over before she noticed what he was doing and by the time she regained her senses, he was gone, down the hall and into his next class. Her whole body felt hot and suddenly too small. The bell rang and she broke out in a run, but she was still late; she just didn’t care very much.

This childish play went on for several weeks. They only had the one math class together, so they devised an elaborate note passing scheme that involved walking out of their ways to pass each other in the halls between classes. Jordie’s missives were mostly doodles and complaints about his hockey coach. Hers were mostly quotes, bits of poetry that only boarded on romantic and could easily be interpreted as merely friendly.

She continued coming to his house almost everyday after school when he didn’t have hockey practice to tutor him in math and eventually other subjects as well. Jordie had always been more interested in sports than scholastics and when he realized the dumber he seemed the more Emma wanted to hang out with him, he tried even less in his classes than he had before.

Every time she left, she kissed his cheek or he kissed hers. Or he would kiss hers and then she would kiss his. Or they would do it at the same time, cheeks pressing together, her hands gently caressing his bicep as he gave her a one-arm hug. It wasn’t until nearly three weeks into the semester and after three weeks of them dancing around the issue that he finally worked up the nerve to do something more.

Emma was leaving his house, she moved to kiss his cheek again, but he turned his head, forcing her lips to land on his. As with all their other kisses, it was brief, but the contact seemed to linger. When he looked down at her afterwards, her chest was rising and falling rapidly. And then she smiled.

“You wanna go see a movie this weekend?”

Jordie thanked God that she said something because after the feel of her lips finally on his he had lost all his motor skills. He replied quietly, “Yes.”

They met at the cinema on Saturday. His dad dropped him off and her mother did the same for Emma. She stood outside the ticket booth and was nervous about seeing him for the first time since they’d met. No matter how many times she had pressed her lips to his cheeks, until today they had been nothing more than friends with only the possibility of something more in the air. That kiss he had laid on her lips, this date, that was more, this was what she wanted.

When she saw him climb out of the car at the curb, her heart fluttered slightly and she waved to Jamie who was in the front seat. The two were always friendly since the brothers got along well and Jaime was often hanging around in the basement with them while they did homework.

As the car drove away, all her attention was on him. He had on new jeans, or at least a clean pair and his hair was slicked back with some kind of product. That was disappointing to her. She loved the way his fluffy hair would billow around his ears, wild and untamed. Maybe she would tell him that. Not right now though. Because now he was standing in front of her, letting out a slow, nervous breath.

“Ready?”

Emma mirrored his labored breathing and nodded. She turned and he took her hand into his own trembling palm, not letting go when he paid for their tickets, not letting go when he bought snacks that they carried together in their free hands, and not even when they found their seats in the theater.

A darkened room. Two teenagers more or less alone with their raging hormones. One can imagine what happened next. Jordie kept his hand locked with hers, sharing the armrest between them. He let his thumb wander and rub across her knuckles, seemingly mindlessly, but he knew exactly what he was doing and was more than aware of her skin that rose in goosebumps in response.

Emma couldn’t focus on the movie, all she could think about was Jordie, his hand in hers, his knee so close to her thigh as his legs spread wide, the way he shifted in his seat, the fact that they were practically alone in the theater, with the only other couple there sitting several rows ahead of them.

She wet her lips with her tongue and looked over, meeting his eager eyes that alternatively focused on her lips, then her eyes, then back on her mouth again. He watched her smile and Emma took a breath. She leaned over, tilted her head and invited his kiss on her lips that she wet again.

Jordie wasted no time in the face of such an obvious invitation. He moved closer, kissing her just as she was running her tongue along her bottom lip. Her tongue then met his lips and he heard her gasp. The sound empowered him. She had clearly never been kissed before, not like this anyway, and while he hadn’t either, knowing she was as inexperienced as he was cloaked him in comfort.

He turned his whole body towards her, cupped her jaw with the hand not holding hers, and kissed her again. This time it was his tongue that poked out and made contact, tentatively tracing the line of her mouth and then her full bottom lip. The sensation of her mouth, her breaths on his lips, the taste of her chapstick, it all went right between his legs and made his dick throb.

When he kissed her again, Emma opened her mouth a little more, inviting him inside to play. Having a vague idea of what he was supposed Jordie dove in and did his best, which was not terrible, objectively speaking, and to Emma was insanely magical. The feelings in her body he’d been building more and more every time she saw him were now magnified and felt out of control. Her belly was tight with nerves and excitement, her lungs overworked, her skin sensitive, and nearly all the blood in her body seemed to gather and rush towards the as of yet unexplored place between her thighs that reacted to Jordie on a primal level.

He would never admit it, but he had been thinking about kissing Emma like this for weeks and everytime he thought of it, he had spent several minutes in the bathroom stroking his cock. It wasn’t just that she was cute and sweet, but it was that she had picked him. She talked to him first, she kissed him first, she had asked him out. She wanted him. That sort of attention received for the first time made him absolutely determined to please her in whatever way he could. Even if he didn’t know how, he was going to figure it out.

She whimpered and sound that could have been his name. She did it again. Definitely his name coming from between her lips as they pressed against his. Emma felt the tension of the moment increase, making her whole body felt tight. She wanted something more without knowing what to ask for. She needed him to touch her, but didn’t even understand why. Her body was miles ahead of her mind, but thankfully Jordie now felt in control of the situation. Granted, he was still scared out of his mind because while he knew what he was supposed to do next, he just wasn’t entirely sure how to go about it.

He pulled away from her only slightly, their noses almost touching, their eyes opening slowly to meet in the darkness sporadically illumined by the flashing lights of the movie on the screen. He whispered bluntly and with a shaky voice, “Unbutton your pants.”

Emma’s eyes went wide and she didn’t say anything; she didn’t move either. Jordie felt his face burn bright red and he let go of her hand as he also moved back from her. He felt like a fool. “Nevermind. I’m sorry.”

Emma grabbed his forearm suddenly and he braved a look at her face. She smiled at him, trying to be brave herself. She nodded and let go of his arm so she could undo her jeans. With fumbling fingers she got it done and then worked the zipper down so her pink panties were visible. She feared her heart might beat clear out of her chest and she wasn’t strong enough to look back at Jordie.

He shifted closer again, inclining his head inviting her mouth back against his, something that was familiar to them now. Emma kissed him, letting his tongue ease her nerves with its rhythmic stroking between her lips. She was fully distracted by his kiss, so much so that it she didn’t know he had moved until his hand was lost down the front of her panties.

Jordie felt the baby fine hair of her mound against his palm and he let out a groan. Emma felt the rough pads of his fingers against her lips and she bucked her hips both in shock and desire to increase the sensation.

All he could think about was how hot she was, how wet and slick she felt under his untrained fingers. He knew that she was supposed to be wet, but he never realized she would so damn hot. The warmth of her body seemed to spread to his and he felt himself sweating. He moved lower to feel more of her heat against his palm.

His fingers, quite accidently, stumbled upon her opening that he pressed into without a second thought. Emma gasped against his lips again, spreading her legs to allow him more room, bursting with nerves and a need she was only beginning to grasp.

His fingers were as lost as his emotions, finding that she burned even hotter on the inside. Clumsily he stroked his fingers in and out, slowing their kiss so he could focus on what his hands were doing and opening his eyes to gauge her reaction.

Emma opened her eyes as well, staring back at him and wondering if this was supposed to feel as uncomfortable as it did. He pressed in deep and she winced. Jordie nearly cursed, but instead he pulled back and apologized hastily.

Sweet Emma smiled at him again and took hold of his wrist, pressing his fingers and palm back against her vulva. She pressed her lips to his a few times and whispered as articulately as she could manage in the moment, “It’s…I mean…I like…just be gentle, Jordie. That feels the best.”

She felt like a fool, trying to explain what she herself barely understood. But he nodded his agreement and kissed her deeply once more, pulling his fingers free and letting them caress her folds softly, gently. Emma responded immediately, whimpering his name again, grasping at his arms with her hands, shifting closer to him.

On an upstroke he hit her hot little button and she moaned for the first time. Really moaned. A sound that nearly made Jordie release his own orgasm into his jeans. He stayed gentle, feeling around leisurely until he found it again and circled the now obvious nub that rose from the tip of her cunt.

Emma had no words, so she just nodded and kissed him with trembling lips. He focused on the place that brought her so much pleasure and Emma let the foreign sensations overtake her mind and body. She felt like she was running, trying to catch something she couldn’t see, but knew was there. She didn’t know how to grab hold of it, so she let go instead. She stopped trying and just let her body take her there naturally.

When she opened her eyes to see Jordie watching her, she felt the peak of orgasm and sobbed in relief. The pressure turned to waves of pleasure that coursed through her body, making her feel light one moment and then suddenly heavy the next. She collapsed back in her chair, breathing heavily and staring at Jordie wide-eyed in pleasant surprise.

He grinned at her. “Good?”

“Yeah…” Emma wanted to imprint this moment on her mind so she’d never forget it, but she also just wanted to do it again. She leaned forward, smirking. “Let me try you now.”

Jordie swallowed hard. He had touched his own cock, naturally, and had always imagined that some day a woman would do it for him. But even though he had so brazenly touched Emma, the thought of her small, beautiful hands on him almost seemed like too much to handle. As her face fell in disappoint, he took the right course of action.

He reached down, unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans just as she had. As he did that, she did herself back up and then shift towards him once more. She couldn’t remove her eyes from the bulge in his boxers and she suddenly wished they were somewhere else, somewhere she could pull him out and really get a good look. Because for as awkward as she felt, she was also insanely curious about the appendage between his legs.

Leaning over his body, she tentatively put one hand over his shaft. The fabric was thin, warm from his body, and also slightly damp in places. They both watched her hand move along him until Jordie couldn’t handle it and looked at the ceiling instead.

Emma snuck her fingers under the band of his boxers and finally slipped inside. “Oh.”

“What? Are you okay?”

He sounded so worried that Emma giggled. “Yes. You’re just so…soft. But also very hard. It’s strange. Is this alright?”

She had her hand encircling his cock and was moving it slowly up and down his shaft. Alright was not the word Jordie would have used. He would have picked heavenly, perfection, pure bliss. It was so different, having someone else touch him while aroused. Different, and also much, much better.

“So good, Em. Really good.”

She sounded so proud when she whispered, “Truly?”

He dropped his head to look at her. “Yes. But not so gentle.”

Interesting, she thought. She griped him tighter and moved a little rougher along his cock with her hand. “Like that?”

“Oh…Emma…yes.” He let out a groan and then grabbed his dick free of her hands as he came. Emma again cursed the dark room because she desperately wanted to see what was happening to him right now. Instead she had to be content with watching him struggle to breathe and lean his head back against the seat as he gathered himself.

She kissed his cheek. “Good?”

“Yeah…good.”

After that, they were official. And since they were official, that meant Jordie’s parents didn’t allow them to be alone in the basement anymore. As such, little Jamie became their chaperone, which, surprisingly, none of them minded. The three became a little band of trouble of makers and when they were together, Emma was just one of the boys.

When Jordie could get her alone, however, she was all woman to him, even if she was still technically a girl. At school they became the obnoxious couple who made out in front of their lockers before and after classes, making them perpetually late. He took her to movies every weekend, even if it meant they had to see the same one two weeks in a row. That hardly mattered since neither of them watched what they paid for anyway. They were only there for the darkness, stolen kisses, and sensual touching done now with bold confidence by both of them.

The school year passed quickly and then it was June. Emma’s parents always made an annual trip to Vancouver and left Emma with her older brother Zach. This year Zach was away touring colleges with an uncle and they decided that Emma was old enough to stay home on her own.

She called Jordie the moment they were out the door. “Hey, you wanna come over?”

“Ugh, I can’t. I have practice.”

“And after?”

“Nothing, but it’ll be late then.”

Emma was nearly bursting with excitement, but she tried to keep her voice neutral. “Tell your family you’re sleeping over at a friends house and then come here.”

“Emma…”

“My parents are out of town, Jordie. I have the whole house to myself. Don’t you want to come keep me company?”

His dick was immediately hard - having her alone, in a house, finally getting to see her with the lights on, touch her…maybe more… “I’m skipping practice. Don’t go anywhere.”

An hour later, he was on her doorstep, smiling and bouncing on his heels. “They’re seriously gone?”

Emma let him in. “Check for yourself.”

Instead he closed the door and grabbed her, kissing her hard and deep. He had become quite good at that, if he did say so himself, and he had also learned the rest of her body well indeed. They ended up in the living room, making out on the couch, enjoying the freedom of being alone in a place they normally wouldn’t be.

After a while, Jordie worked off her shirt, pulling back to look at the cute blue bra she wore. Licking her lips, Emma reached back and undid it, exposing her chest to him for the first time. He another moment where he felt he might come too soon, but he pushed down the urge to release and reached out to touch her. He cupped a breast in each hand and kissed her again.

They both knew, this was going to be the day. They would never have a better opportunity than this. Still, when he whispered in her ear, “Lay on the floor,” Emma suddenly lost all her bravado and felt her nervousness return.

Jordie felt it and kissed through it before telling her to trust him. She looked in his eyes and she did. They slid off the couch and Jordie made her a pallet of blankets and pillows. He should have taken her to bed, but he was afraid that by the time they made it upstairs he would lose his nerve and possibly not get it back. He was ready here and now so that was where they were going to stay.

He kissed down her chest quickly, in a hurry for some reason. Maybe he just wanted to get the first time done and over so they could go forward just making a habit out of it, but also, maybe he just really wanted to see the warm silk between her thighs that until this day he only just felt with his fingers.

He got her pants off, then her panties, then he nearly died. As he stared, Emma reached both hands down to cover herself, but he stopped her, shaking his head. He had seen pictures of naked women, but nothing could compare to this. She was alive and vibrant and laid out in front of him, just for him, wanting him as he wanted her.

“So beautiful, Em. You’re perfect.”

Jordie had no idea what he was doing, but he knew what he wanted to do, what he had been thinking about doing for months. He wanted to kiss her, there at the center of her pleasure, to see what all the wetness tasted like.

He parted her legs gently and bent down, kissing her fuzzy mound and then her outer lips. Emma panted already, terrified, but more excited than she had ever been in her life. Her cunt, as usual, responded to his nearness, pulsing and silently pleading for his touch.

His tongue probed deeper into her folds, exploring more than pleasuring, getting to know her. As he tenderly moved two fingers into her entrance, he found her clit with the tip of his tongue and stroked it gently.

“Oh, God! Jordie…”

He knew this was a good sign and kept going, thrusting his fingers slowly, gently how she liked and running his tongue over and around her clit until he felt her tighten around his fingers and thrust her hips, arching her back as she moaned his name loudly for the first time now that they were finally alone in private. Beautiful, he thought. And he wanted her to do it again.

Before he crawled up her body, he peeled off his shirt. Her hands came to his chest, small and warm, just like her shy smile. He bent to kiss her, let her rub her palms over his back as he rubbed his hips against her.

She asked, “Do you have a condom?”

He sat up, dug in his pocket and held it out proudly. Emma was thankful he had planned for this, because as much as she wanted it, she wouldn’t have known how to prepare.

“Okay. Do you wanna…” She trailed off, looking at the ceiling.

Jordie kissed her again. “Do you?”

She met his eyes. “Yes, Jordie. I want you.”

He gazed at her for a long moment and then told her, “You know I love you, right?”

Emma was torn between laughter and tears. “I do now.”

“I do, Emma. I love you. I’m not just saying that.”

“I know. I love you, too.”

He kissed her again, wanting nothing more than this moment, to be right there with Emma and to hear her say that she loved him. Well, he did want something more, to hear her say it while he was inside of her.

He broke from her mouth and got out of his pants. Emma went slack-jawed when she saw him in his naked glory and reached out to stroke his cock with both hands. He groaned before batting them away and rolling on the condom after struggling to get it out of the wrapper.

He came back down to join her on the floor, nestled between her thighs and nuzzling her neck. “You tell me when you’re ready, Em.”

Truthfully she knew she would probably never be ready if she was given time to think about it. Better to just get it done, she reasoned. She only nodded and held on to his biceps.

Jordie reached between them, pressing up with one arm that was shaking so badly Emma was almost worried. She was concerned about the pain, while he was just hoping he didn’t make a fool of himself.

Emma felt him guiding his cock with his hand, poking around to find her opening. He thought he had it and pushed hard, but since he wasn’t quite there yet, Emma only felt a dull pain against her pelvis and shifted away from it.

Jordie cursed softly. “I’m sorry.”

His voice was weak and Emma only wanted to comfort him. She sat up on her elbows and kissed his cheek. “You’re fine, Jordie. Why don’t you…use your fingers first.”

He nodded, letting go of his cock and quickly finding her entrance with two fingers and then chuckling. “Why is that so easy and this so hard?”

“Who knows. Try again.”

He did so, using his cock as he had his fingers, sliding the tip along her folds until it sunk into the wet cavern he had been looking for. He groaned at the simple sensation and Emma took a deep breath and met his eyes.

“Please…just go slow, okay?”

“Of course, Em. You want me to kiss you while I do it?”

“No, later. Right now just…”

“Okay. Slow, alright?”

“Yeah…”

He eased himself in a little further and when Emma squeezed her eyes shut, a tear came free. Jordie felt terrible and kissed the wetness on her cheek. “You want me to stop?”

“No, no, please don’t. It’s just…you’re so big, Jordie.”

Any other time he would have taken the compliment, but right now it only seemed like a liability. He rocked his hips slightly, trying to create more room for himself. “Just relax. I’ll keep going slow. Tell me if you want to stop.”

“Yes, good.”

He pushed in a little further and Emma let out a breath, willing her body to open underneath him. It wasn’t terrible pain, mostly just uncomfortable, an invasion of his hardness to her most soft and sensitive area. She thought about how much pleasure he normally gave, how happy he made her, how his kisses warmed her body, and she felt herself grow a little more wet.

She changed her mind. “Kiss me, Jordie, please.”

He did and Emma let his lips distract her, let them take her back to the place of bliss and comfort. When he stopped, she noticed his thighs were resting against hers and she felt the fullness of him in her body. The pain was gone, there was only Jordie and his smile.

Jordie’s limbs were still shaking, but he worked hard to quell his trembling muscles. He felt beads of sweat move along his skin and ignored those as well. He only focused on Emma, who was grinning and no longer looking pained.

“Good?”

“Yes, Jordie. Good.”

Slowly, very, very slowly, he pulled back and pressed in again. She was still adjusting, her body learning his as quickly as it could, but she was small and untested and he was so very large. He shifted back again, came forward once more. And then a few more times until the discomfort was gone and Emma just enjoyed the feel of him.

Unfortunately, just as she was starting to really get into it, Jordie came, jerking and shuddering against her before collapsing on top of her body. Emma held him against her chest, petting his wild hair that he had stopped trying to tame after she told him she prefered him this way.

High on post-coital endorphins, but also weak and exhausted, Jordie just mumbled another “I love you” and promptly fell asleep next to her.

They did it again, several times before her parents came back into town. And then, they just kept finding ways and places. Jordie got better, growing into his body as he went and learning how to use it to please a woman in new and spectacular ways. They enjoyed every moment of the summer together as often as they could.

Another year went by, punctuated by school, hockey, work, family, friends, more kisses and other deeds done in darkened theaters, the back seats of cars, even the bathroom at friend’s houses. Another year went by after that, filled with much of the same, and many more I love yous accompanied by all the gifts as Jordie could afford.

Young love, first love, it feels untouchable, unbeatable, unbreakable. That was why when, after graduation, he left Victoria to play hockey, he wasn’t worried about their relationship at all. In fact, one weekend, after he had been gone for a few months, he went out and bought a ring, a gold band with a tiny diamond in the center, the only one he could afford.

He was going home in a few days and he packed the ring in his bag. He was so young and so full of hope and joy that he hadn’t seen the slow deterioration right in front of his eyes, too busy living in the past and planning a future that he would never have. When Jamie showed up on his doorstep, unexpected, looking sullen, Jordie still didn’t see it. But when Jamie spoke, Jordie realized he should have see it coming.

With three short words uttered in less than a second, Jamie shattered Jordie’s entire world.

“Emma kissed me.”

Then Jordie saw what was there all along: the way their phone calls had gone from hours to just a few short minutes, the increasingly irritated tone of her voice, her vague answers to his questions, her disinterest in his stories, the distance she put between them that rivaled the physical distance necessitated by his budding career.

Jordie remembered all this as Jamie went on and he didn’t respond until Jamie said, “You know that I didn’t -”

“I know you didn’t.” Of course Jamie would never done anything to either encourage or respond to Emma. Jordie knew that, if he knew nothing else.

As easy as it would have been to be angry with his brother that just wouldn’t have been fair. Jordie was the one who had left, left her alone, and it wasn’t surprising that when she got lonely she turned to Jamie who she had always been close with. He wasn’t even angry at all, not even with her. His heart was too full of sorrow to feel much of anything else.

That was how it ended, how Jordie lost everything to Emma. He didn’t go home as planned, too afraid to face her just yet, and when he tried to return the ring the store refused because he didn’t have his receipt. It was salt in an open wound and Jordie took to wearing the ring on a chain around his neck, as punishment for his own part in the result, as a reminder, only he really knew why.

What hurt the most, Jordie thought, was knowing that this may not even be the last time he felt this level of suffering. If he went on living as he had been he was bound to fall in love again and sadly Jordie now associated that emotion with the pain of loss and betrayal.

It was at this time of hopelessness and despair that he met Giselle, who would turn out to be the most perfect cure for heartache that Jordie could have ever imagined.

Notes