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How Jordie actually got involved with Giselle is kind of hazy, even to him. He would always remember something vague about a gas station late at night and an argument over the last package of Sno Balls, but that’s about it. It was almost as if she appeared out of dream, buxom and full of energy that he lacked at the time.

She was older than him by at least ten years, possibly more. Compared to Emma, she was worldly and wise, in addition to having many more years of sexual experience under her belt. Best of all, she was pure fun in human form, something he was really in desperate need of when he met her.

His memories of her and the two short weeks they spent together always came back to him in flashes. Much like their meeting, he could never fully reminisce about their entire relationship, for lack of a better term, because the more he thought about it, the more muddled the events became.

At times he attributed these mysteries to the fact that Giselle was really a mythical creature sent by the universe to soothe his broken heart and that she herself in fact did not even exist. The realist in him, however, knew it probably had more to with the fact that they were both high as kites during ninety percent of their time together.

This realization would always spark his first memory of her: getting absolutely ripped with one of his teammates and then driving home, doing his best impression of a sober citizen. He stopped for gas on the highway, prepaying inside and seeking snacks to satisfy his cravings. He can see it now, the last pack of Sno Balls calling out to him. He reached out, but another hand swoops in and nabs it before he gets there.

“Hey!”

The hand belonged to a woman and she turned to face him. Everything about her was over the top from her volumized hair and heavy makeup to the leopard print faux fur jacket to her thigh-high leather boots with a four inch heel. All of this very impractical for the Canadian winter. But she was beautiful, he would always remember that, dark features and a mischievous smile.

Her voice was rough, but somehow soothing. “Snooze you lose, sweetheart.”

He did recall staring at her for longer than was socially appropriate, his drug addled brain fighting to find rationality. Finally he said, “You have an ugly accent.”

Giselle laughed, thankfully, because it was only after he said it that he realized just how rude that sounded. “Have you ever been to Wisconsin?” she asked.

Jordie shook his head.

“Well…then I’d say you have no clue just how ugly American accents can really be.” He must not have known that a lot of people think the Wisconsin accent is close to a Canadian version and that she was actually insulting him right back because he just smiled at her. She grinned back. “Goodnight, my rude prince.”

This is where things are fuzzy in his memory. He’s sure there was an apology, he must have said something intelligent or charming, because the next thing he knew, they were at his apartment and she was munching on a Sno Ball while reclined in his bed as he sat facing her in his desk chair.

For all the experience Jordie thought he had, he felt like a boy in her presence. Poised and nonchalant, she made him feel clumsy and unsure of himself. Giselle, as she enjoyed both the Sno Balls without offering him even a bite, continued to just smile at him in silence. Jordie could think of nothing reasonable to say, so he just watched her, loving the view.

Eventually she asked, “Are you planning on joining me in bed?”

He cleared his throat. “Would you like me to?”

She responded with another question. “Are you a virgin, Jordie?”

Proudly he straightened his back and answered. “No.”

“You certainly act like it.”

Jordie frowned, but found he had no response. Maybe she was right in a way. He had only known Emma and he had found it simple to initiate things with her because she was familiar to him; they been each other's firsts. Being with a different woman, a stranger, made him uneasy almost.

Giselle laughed and Jordie was starting to love the sound of it; it made his heart feel light for the first time in months. She reached out for his hand, pulling him closer and then guiding him to his knees in front of her.

Her voice was light, but her eyes were serious. “Maybe you know how to fuck a woman, we’ll have to see about that, but you certainly don’t know how to seduce one.”

He smiled up at her, feeling very much the student to her teacher and enjoying the role if only because it was something new, something a little carefree. “So teach me.”

She returned the grin and leaned back on the bed. “Take my boots off. Slowly.”

She placed one foot on his thigh and he reached for the zipper that ran down the inner seam of the boot. As she instructed, he opened the leather slowly, never taking his eyes from hers. When the zipper was down to her ankle, he pulled the boot off, letting it fall to the floor before he brought both hands to her calf, running his fingers over the deep indentations there.

Giselle let her neck go weak and her head fall back. “Mmm, good, Jordie.”

Happy to have pleased her, he bent to kiss the marks left by her boots and traced them with his tongue as she moaned. She spread her legs wider, not an invitation necessarily, but merely a sample of what more awaited him. She had on no painties under her denium skirt and being completely shaved he could see her wet lips clearly.

“The other now.”

He moved on, removing the other boot and giving this leg the same treatment from his hands and mouth. As he kissed her knee, he brushed his palms up the outside of her thighs, bunching up her skirt when he got that high.

She gave him breathy praise, obviously affected by him. “Yes, nice. Now the inside of my thighs, just my thighs and nothing else.”

He obeyed, even though every fiber of being wanted to fuck her immediately. Emma had always been ready for him, had never needed to be seduced. He shoved this thought from his mind just as quickly as it appeared and refocused on Giselle. His fingertips tickled her inner thighs, pressing into pliable flesh as he stroked his hands up and down her legs.

Giselle shifted her ass against the bed, making her skirt rise up even more until it was free of her legs and wrapped around her hips. “Before you touch a woman, you want her desperate for it. Tease her for as long as you can stand it, because the longer you wait, the harder she will come.”

Jordie nodded, even though her eyes were closed, her head still thrown back, and then he took her advice and teased her. He explored every inch of legs, inside and outside, bringing his fingers to the very edge of her pussy without touching it, then moving on.

Giselle continued to squirm, panting quietly and saying nothing, just letting him learn by using her body as an example. Finally, he couldn’t take it anymore and he touched her pussy, very, very slightly - merely running his fingers along the seam of her lips.

“Good, very good.” She bucked her hips, spread her legs further, planting a foot on either side of him as he still crouched in front of her. He did it again, tickling the wet smoothness of her center with the slightest touch of his fingertips, thoroughly enjoying the way she moaned his name. It made him feel powerful in a way being with Emma never had. Even though Giselle was teaching him, he was learning to make her body crave him and doing a fairly decent job of it based on the noises she was making.

He bent forward and replaced his fingers with his tongue, still teasing, still giving only the barest of contact and marveling at how wild it drove Giselle. Emma had always appreciated him, of course, but he could not recall a single instance of her having this much passion and desire coursing through her, so much so that it was almost visible to his eye.

Stop thinking about Emma, he commanded himself. And then he licked at her again, and again. Slowly, with just the tip of his tongue against her outer labias. Every swipe made her gasp or moan or writhe or all of the above. All his apprehension was gone and he was just having…fun. It was strange to feel that again, but not unwelcome.

“Scoot back a bit.”

Giselle moved back further onto the bed and Jordie joined her finally, kneeling between her still spread legs and reaching for her shirt. Stripped of her top and bra, he pressed a hand against her chest to guide her back against the bed, then he pulled off her skirt leaving her naked and lovely for him.

He had so rarely gotten to see Emma like this. Much of their relationship had been conducted in semi-public places, privacy and time two things high school students rarely have when attempting to conduct a love affair. Having Giselle laid out before him, not a stitch of clothing, no threat of discovery, no pressing time frame…it was deliciously heady.

Giselle sat up, wrapping her arms around him and pressing her nose to his chest. “Where did you go just now?”

“Hmm?”

“You drifted off like you weren’t really here.”

Damn. He really did need to work on putting Emma where she belonged: firmly in the past. “Old memories.”

She leaned back, still holding him. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“No. I want to make some new memories.”

“Excellent choice. Let me have a little sneak peak.”

Her hands pressed against his abs and she forced his shirt up until he helped by peeling it off. Giselle flopped back against the bed, breasts bouncing, smile plastered to her face. “God bless Canada.”

She must have noticed the chain and ring around his neck, but she didn’t say anything and Jordie was grateful. He knew he should have taken the stupid thing off, but he just wasn’t ready yet. He bent to kiss her lips for the first time, the cool gold band quickly warming between their bodies.

He mouth moved down her neck and his kiss was purposeful. Giselle spread her legs to hold his hips and ran her hands down his wide back. “Are you done seducing me already?”

His breath moving across her nipple he said, “Have I done a good enough job?”

He felt her body move with her shrug, but kept his mouth on nipples, one and then the other. “Maybe, but, Jordie, you really must learn to use your talents.”

Now he sat up, frowning again. “What do you mean? Isn’t that what I’m doing?”

She shrugged again and it was a rather annoying habit, making him feel stupid for not already knowing the answers. He rolled his eyes and demanded, “Tell me.”

A slow smile came upon her face and Giselle told him, “That’s more like it. You have such a big body with a very serious face. Women who are attracted to you know what they’re going to get, so you need to give it to them.”

“And what is that?”

“A man, a real man. Strong and aggressive, not shy and unsure. You must learn to take control, really take it. Consensually, of course.”

In answer, he seized both of her hands and pressed them down against the mattress next to her head, squeezing her fingers between his hard enough to crack a few of her knuckles. She only smiled at him.

“Is this what you want?”

“Mmmm, yes, Jordie. Part of what I want.”

With Giselle naked underneath him, he ground his pelvis against her mound, letting his hard shaft be known. Her mouth fell open as her body instinctually moved in time with his own. His words came out hot against her ear. “Is this what else you want? You want me to fuck you?”

“Good…yes.”

He thrust against her a few more times, his pants providing an unwelcome barrier that only served to turn Giselle and Jordie on even more. Finally, he kissed her hard and then said, “Take them off me.”

He released her hands, holding himself up as she reached down to undo his jeans and shove them down as far she could reach. He didn’t even bother to remove them, but just widened his thighs to let them bunch around his knees and then he pushed inside her.

The force and quickness stole her breath, but she soon got it back and was laughing. “That’s most like it. Now show me how you fuck.”

He started his measured thrusting, a stroke perfected after many, many instances of being with Emma. And he was good, she would give him that, but not as good as he could be.

She shook her head slightly. “Use your body, Jordie. Let me feel the weight of you.”

Brows furrowed, he let go slightly, resting more of his weight on her hips and she moaned in response. Nodding in approval. “Good, yes. Make a woman feel almost trapped under you. I can’t do anything now. You’re in control. Do you feel it?”

He did. As he thrust, she wiggled and squirmed, but couldn’t break the hold of his hands and couldn’t move her hips or his now matter how hard she tried. And it was intoxicating.

A rough sound came from his throat and Giselle grinned. “Good, right?”

“Oh, yeah…really good.”

Too good. He wasn’t going to make it very long. He sped up, fucking her deep and letting his bulk do most of the work. When she moaned his name and squeezed his cock tight, he let go, coming as hard as she did and then burrowing his nose in her wild hair. He had one final thought that night: Giselle was magnificent.

The next memory he has is of the next day, sitting on the floor of his living room, both of them naked, with Giselle rolling a blunt.

“You know…you really shouldn’t do drugs, Jordie.”

He chuckled and appreciated her smirk before he said, “That’s not very convincing coming from you.”

She shrugged and it annoyed him far less to see this action outside of the bed. “Yeah, well, I’m a wastrel, just ask my parents. But you…” She paused, lighting the blunt, taking a drag and then passing it to him. “You’re going to be a professional hockey player.” She waved her hands dramatically. “The future is bright, yadda yadda.”

He mirrored her intake of the tangy smoke and shrugged himself. “It’s not like I’m shooting heroin.”

“On that note, you know where I can get some crank around here?” He stared at her while holding his breath, wondering how a person even responded to a question like that. He was saved when she smacked his shoulder and took the blunt from him. “I was joking, but seriously, this shit is no good for you.”

Not that he needed a reminder, especially not from this woman, but he knew she was right and had thought the same thing many times. That being said, he was only eighteen and therefore too young to drink legally. And he needed something.

He took another drag and let the toxins make him bold. “I’ve been trying to forget. This helps.”

“Sometimes it’s better to remember. It keeps us from making the same mistakes twice.”

He watched her lazily blow smoke rings and asked, “What do you remember?”

Giselle eyed him up before responding. “My sister, mother’s favorite. I used to burn her homework to get her in trouble, but she would just redo it before school the next day. There were other things, years of petty bullshit on my part and indifference on hers. All my jealousy did was drive her away, it didn’t hurt her at all, just me. I remember her so I don’t act like a fucking bitch for no good reason.” They shared a smile and she asked, “And you, sweet Jordie from Victoria? What are you trying to forget that you should probably remember?”

Although it was easy enough to guess, she let him tell her. “A woman that I would have worshiped, loved until I was dead. Instead…” The words were there on the tip of his tongue, but thinking them and saying them to another human being were two different things. He held the chain away from his body, letting the ring swing. “I won’t forget. I can’t forget. You’re right, it’ll be better to remember. It just hurts right now. This helps.” He took another puff of smoke into his lungs and closed his eyes.

He felt Giselle lay her head on his knee and looked down at her smile. “Give me two weeks and I promise you won’t remember the pain. Only the lesson.”

Jordie stroked her hair, not believing that claim for a second. “Where were you going last night? What are you doing up here?”

“I was on my way to Ottawa, but I’m in no rush. I’m just a wanderer, wandering through. I can leave today or in a few weeks. Your choice.”

He did not think this woman would be able to cure the ache in his heart, the empty feeling of his soul, but…he acknowledged that there was no harm in letting her try. He knew in the very least they would have a great time.

“Stay for a while. If you want to.”

She turned her head, kissing his thigh as she flipped her body so her stomach pressed against the floor. “What I want…” Her hands spanned his thighs and then moved to his chest, shoving him onto his back. He had the presence of mind to move the ash tray and other paraphernalia before he relaxed under her bidding.

Nestled between his thighs, her chin resting on his stomach, her cock hard against her throat, she finally continued. “I want to taste your come.”

“Oh.”

The noise he made sounded partly shocked and partly appalled to her ear and she asked, “Is that alright with you?”

He assured her, “Fuck yes. I’ve just never -”

Giselle sounded absolutely insulted by this. “Good Lord, how many women have you been with?”

“Just the one.”

Her eyes were wide as she damn near shouted, “And you were going to marry the first girl you ever fucked? No offense, but no wonder that didn’t work out.”

Jordie took this in good humor and tucked his arms underneath his head. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means life isn’t a fairy tale and that you have a lot more to learn.”

Giselle taught him many things in the following days, but mostly she kept her word and made him feel alive again. His world that had been dank and grey in the last few months suddenly felt bright and vibrant. His smiles came easier, his laughter felt more genuine, and his wish to forget everything about the last two years ebbed considerably.

Importantly, he found himself thinking less about the past and more about all the good shit he had going on in his life right now. He concentrated on hockey, naturally, but at home, with Giselle, his mind would go blank and let the little moments they spent together become his entire whole world. The touch of her skin was the earth that grounded him, her panting breaths the air that sustained him, the cream between her thighs and her wet mouth quenched his thirst, and her body heat was the fire necessary to burn away everything ugly and regretful.

That’s what she really gave him: the opportunity to be mindful, to feel present in his daily life, to not linger on the heartache of the past or worry over the future. She taught him to appreciate the little things, tiny moments he might have otherwise overlooked suddenly became vitally important. And in a few weeks, she gave him so many memories that while scattered, would bring him joy for many years.

Of course, there were days and nights of ecstasy and orgasms so intense his vision went blurry. There were sexual positions he never even dreamed of and noises he didn’t know humans could make coming from her mouth and his. There were sexual lessons, some that went awry and experiments involving her body that turned out better than expected. But there were also bowls of cereal consumed in front of his TV, many late night conversations stemming from far too much drugs in their systems and that weren’t recollected in the morning, not that they would have made much sense to a sober mind anyway. When it snowed, she made him sit by the window and study the flakes that plastered against the glass and then she dragged him outside to make snow angels, something he hadn’t done in over a decade.

In short, Giselle was fun and she instilled in him a zest for living he never would have found on his own.

His wanderer was wise and giving, making him feel invincible with her unwavering confidence in him. It was odd, because she didn’t know him at all and he didn’t even think she knew him very well by the end of their time together. And yet, she knew exactly what he needed to hear, just when he needed it, like a perverted fairy godmother or something.

When he came home from practice one day to find her bag packed and waiting in her car, he wasn’t surprised and surprisingly, he wasn’t upset. He had known it was coming. He found her on his couch, leather boots and leopard print coat once more adorning her body.

“You’re leaving?”

She stood and met him near the door. “It’s time. But first, you have to tell me if I was right. Did I make you forget?”

He wasn’t even ashamed to admit that he had been wrong. “You did. Thank you.”

Wrapping her arms around his neck she kissed him one last time. “You’re not going to fall apart the minute I walk out the door, are you?”

He knew in his heart, that that wasn’t going to happen. He didn’t need Giselle, he had just needed her to propel him out of the pit of despair he had dug himself into. Now that he was out, he knew he could move forward, alone.

“No, I know I’ll be okay. You’ve saved -”

“Don’t be dramatic, Jordie. Just keep smiling, alright?”

He smiled for her now. “Yeah, I can do that.”

“Good.” He followed her out the door to her car and before she left she told him through her open window, “Remember me when you make it to the big show.”

“I’ll get you season tickets, promise.”

Giselle laughed at him and started her car. “No, no, just remember me as the pretty little wanderer who gave you back your smile. And no more drugs, promise me.”

“I promise. Be careful out there, don’t pick up men at gas stations.”

“Hmm, I don’t know about that, the last one I found on the side of the road was pretty damn incredible.” One more time, they exchanged smiles. “Bye, Jordie.”

“Bye, sweetheart.”

After she was gone, Jordie went back inside, looking to keep his promise to her. He pulled out the metal box that held his rolling papers and bags of drugs, but he found it empty, only containing a note from Giselle.

“I believe in you, Jordie. No matter what, I always will. Forget the pain, remember the lesson, and just keep smiling.”

Notes