'It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves - William Shakespeare'


I climbed slowly down the steps at the AAC towards the glass next to the Stars bench. I was holding a cup of beer in one hand, and my cellphone in the other in case I couldn't spot Jessica. But she wasn't hard to find, the blond was standing facing the stairs behind her, watching for me it seemed. When she spotted me she began waving her arms and yelling for me. I smiled to myself and walked the remaining few steps down to her.

"Hey!" she said happily when I sat down next to her in my seat right next to the bench.

"Hey back!" I said with a grin as I adjusted my messenger purse and slipped my cellphone into it.

"Jamie asked me to give you this," she whispered to me, pulling out a jersey from a bag in front of her.

I rolled my eyes and laughed, "I'll be disappointed if it isn't a Seguin jersey," I teased taking it from her hands while she laughed.

I set my beer down on the floor at my feet and unfolded the jersey, the C was right there on the left, leaving no room for speculation on whose jersey it was, I turned it and saw the 14 on the back with BENN stitched above it.

"I guess my Benn shirt wasn't doing it for him," I said to Jess with a wink as I took my bag and slipped the jersey over my Dallas Stars BENN shirt.

She was giggling from next to me, "I was with him when you texted him that, he thought it was funny, but then he was like, no she's gotta wear the jersey. And here we are."

I shook my head and put my bag over my head once again, and picked my beer back up, "I would expect that from Seguin," I said as the boys came out of the tunnel for warm ups.

Jordie skated in front of the glass and waved to Jessica who waved back at him, Tyler came along followed by Jamie who both waved at me. Jamie pointed to his jersey then to me and smirked and nodded. I scrunched up my nose and shook my head giving him a thumb down. He put a hand to his chest and tilted his head back to the ceiling, causing me to laugh at him.

Jamie and Tyler and the rest of the team began their warm ups, which was mostly the two of them messing around with some of the other guys joining in every so often. They skated around and took some shots on net before skating back over to the front of us, jumping up in the air and bumping each other. I shook my head with a small smile as Jamie looked over to me.

He waved and smiled at me again before they skated off back into the tunnel.

"Is this where the WAGs always sit?" I asked Jessica.

She shook her head, "Depends I guess, sometimes they sit a little further back, but mostly we always got into the box and watch."

I nodded as the announcer came on to introduce the teams. Jess and I were pretty silent as they began introductions and did the anthem. Jamie and Tyler were in the starting line up, so I watched as they took their positions on the ice and the game began with Jamie easily winning the first face-off against the Kings.

I had been to many hockey games in my life, all of them watching the Leafs play up in Toronto, but I had never been so damn close to the ice! It was insane, you could hear the chirping and the trash talking and everyone on the bench talking. It was crazy to watch and listen to all of it happening. I smiled as I watched the whole thing; I was having an absolute blast. And I was really happy getting to know Jessica; we were taking selfies together and posting them on Instagram and SnapChat.

Every time Jamie would sit on the bench next to the glass he would tap on it and smile and I would always stick my tongue out making him laugh.

The first two periods of play were scoreless, but not from lack of trying. I could tell just by looking at Jamie and Tyler and the guys that they were getting frustrated; Coach was yelling and going over plays with them.

I bit my lip as I watched Jamie get ready for the faceoff once again, he looked over at me and I smiled reassuringly at him and showed him that my fingers were crossed for him. He smiled slightly back at me in a blink and you would have missed it moment. But I saw it and that's all that mattered to me.

"They're getting angry," Jessica said as the play started.

My leg began bouncing up and down as they tried to get the punk out of the Dallas end, "They're getting frustrated, and they're gonna start playing sloppy."

Finally they managed to get the puck out and made into the Kings zone where Jamie was battling for the puck and he finally got it, shooting it only to have it blocked. He picked up the rebound, passed it to Tyler and he shot by it was blocked and it turned into a scramble in front of the net, Sharpie hung back and got the puck once it was hit back from the net, he shot the puck back into the group in front and finally the light went off and music began playing the arena. We all jumped up and cheered, Jessica and I banged on the glass in front of us and yelled and cheered for the boys, waiting to see which one had managed to score. I couldn't tell when the guys all grouped together and hugged which one they had been congratulating.

We looked up at the screen and saw Jamie flash across it saying that he scored the goal which made me cheer louder as he skated by us back to the bench. He took his seat next to me and looked over at me with small smile. I smiled widely back at him and gave him thumbs up, making his smile grow.

The rest of the game went on without anything being able to tie it up from the Kings, leaving us with a 1-0 win! After they announced Jamie as the first Star of the game, Jessica led me through the tunnels of the AAC to their locker room to meet up with the guys.

We met up with some of the WAGs that were already waiting there, leaning against the wall across from the locker room. Jessica began talking to some of them while I stood off to the side.

"Hey, Josie!" I heard someone say; I looked and saw Abby Sharp looking at me with a bright smile as she held onto her youngest daughter, while the older girl was behind her legs.

"Hey, Abby! Were you up in the box?" I asked.

She nodded, "Yeah, the girls have some more room to play around up there, so it's a bit easier," she said with a sigh, "Your boy won us the game," she said with a smile.

I laughed and little, "I wouldn’t call him my boy," I said.

She smiled and winked, "Sure."

I laughed a little, "So these are the girls," I stated with a smile looking at the girls.

"Yes!" she said proudly, "This is Madelyn and Sadie! Girls, this is Josie, she's friends with Jamie on Daddy's hockey team."

Both of the girls looked at me shyly, Sadie put her face into Abby's neck and Madelyn hid behind her legs. I laughed and bent down to meet Madie's eyes.

"Hi Madelyn!" I said smiling as she tentatively smiled at me, "Did you see your dad out on the ice?" I asked her.

She smiled brightly and nodded her head, "He wanted the ball."

"The puck sweetie, Daddy wanted the puck," Abby told her daughter kindly.

I smiled, "He got it a few times, did you see?" I asked her.

She stepped out away from her mom’s legs and nodded, "Yeah! Then he gave it away!"

I nodded, "I know! Your dad helped Jamie get a goal!"

She smiled, showing off all of her teeth, "He's teaching me how to skate!"

I opened my eyes wide, "Oh my goodness! You're very lucky!"

"Can you skate?" she asked me.

I nodded, "I can! My mom and dad took me and my big brother out on a lake and taught us!"

"Can you help me too?" she asked, walking closer to me.

"I would love to help you learn!" I smiled.

"Hey, Madie girl," I heard from behind me.

I looked over my shoulder as she squealed and ran to her dad, I smiled and stood back up.

"She warmed up to you pretty quickly," Abby said with a smile.

I shrugged and smiled, "Comes in handy being a teacher," I said as Abby set Sadie down and she waddled over to her dad who scooped her up in his arms too.

It was then that I noticed that some of the other guys were out there looking at me. I smiled once I found Jamie and walked over to him after sending a small smile to Abby.

"Nicely done," I said approvingly once I walked to him.

He laughed and little and ran a hand through his hair, which was still dripping a little from his post-game shower.

"It was a bit hectic there at the net," he admitted.

I raised my eyebrows and smile, "A goal is a goal. We will take anything, Benny."

He smiled and put his arm around me, "That's very true."

"Come on, Josie! Let's go out!" Tyler said appearing in front of me.

I laughed and shook my head, "I can't!" I told him, "I have to work in the morning!"

"Call in sick," he said, like it was the most obvious solution.

I rolled my eyes, "If it was up to you, all I'd do is watch your games and go and drink with you," I said, pushing his shoulder lightly.

"You say it like it's a bad thing," he smiled.

"You're so difficult,” I sighed.

He laughed and shrugged, "Fine, be boring and go home. Go and take care of the children," he said dramatically.

I laughed and nodded, "Don't you worry, Seggyseg, I will!"

"You're coming out, right?" Tyler asked, looking at Jamie.

Jamie hesitated and looked down at me; I raised my eyebrows, "Why are you looking at me?"

Jamie shrugged, "I dunno, I thought we could hang out for a couple hours, since I leave for a couple weeks."

I grinned a little up at him, "Sure," I told him.

He smiled down at me and we stayed like that for a few seconds before Jordie had to ruin it.

"Alright, well, the two of you are gross," he said, I looked from Jamie to him and stuck my tongue out at him making him smile at me.

"I've told you guys before," I said with a sigh, as Jamie rested his hand on my lower back almost making me forget all of the words, "the only true romance is Jamie and Tyler. We should only be so lucky to have what they have," I said, recovering with a smile as I watched the group around me start laughing.

Jamie pulled me closer to him so I wrapped an arm around his waist in return.

"Alright, well, I'm leaving!" Tyler said taking a step back from all of us," You guys are coming right?" he asked, looking over to Demers, Cody, Val and Rous who nodded and smiled in agreement.

"See you in a couple weeks," Tyler said with a smile to me, he took a couple steps towards me and pulled me into a hug.

"Stay safe," I told him quietly, "Kick some ass, okay?"

He pulled away from me and smiled, "You know I will," he said with a wink.

The boys all said bye to me as well before Jamie and I left.

"Did you drive?" Jamie asked me.

I shook my head, "No. I knew the traffic would be a bitch so I cabbed it a couple blocks away and then walked."

"I can get you a parking pass!" he said as we walked outside into the late November air, "Then you can park back here with the players and wives and stuff."

I laughed to myself as he unlocked a very fancy, and expensive, looking sport car, "I am neither a player or wife, or girlfriend," I said over the hood to him.

He looked at me a little sullen, maybe that was being rude. The guy was offering to get me something. I didn't always have to be a sarcastic bitch.

"Sorry," I said quietly, "That was rude," I said with a small sigh, as I opened the door and tried to slide in gracefully.

"How do you even get in this nicely?" I mumbled as I tried to slid in without feeling like I was about to fall on the ground.

I heard his laugh from next to me when I finally got situated and closed the door, I looked over at him silently laughing at me, and I smiled over at him and did up my seat belt.

He started the car up and backed up, carefully, out of his spot.

"I am sorry," I told him earnestly while we waited to pull out of the parking lot and into traffic.

He glanced over at me with a smile playing on his lips, "its okay," he said gently.

I sighed and leaned my head against the head rest, "No it's not," I whined, "That was really rude of me. You're just trying to make watching you easier, so I shouldn't be a bitch all of the time."

"Hey," he said as we turned and started heading towards my apartment, "you're not a bitch, okay? I shouldn't have even said anything about it that was being presumptuous on my part."

I rolled my eyes, "Where the fuck did you come from?" I asked, throwing my hands into the air.

He laughed and peeked at me out of the corner of his eye, "Canada," he said simply.

"I appreciate you asking me about a pass, since I do plan on seeing every homer game that I can," I told him.

He smiled over at me, "Every single one, eh?"

I shrugged light and sighed, "Yeah, I got a thing for one of them."

"Let me guess," he said sarcastically, "Seguin," he said with a small laugh.

"No," I said briskly, "you."

We stopped at a red light right near my apartment and he turned and looked at me, "I really want to kiss you," he whispered.

My face flushed and I looked away from him, out the window, "Soon," I said quietly.

I continued looking out the window for the last couple minutes of the drive. He pulled into the building and I directed him to the visitors parking area.

We got out and I led him to the doors and to the elevator where we stood in silence waiting for it. We made it up to my apartment where I tossed my bag onto the floor next to the door and kicked my boots off.

"Make yourself at home," I said casually, waving my hand to the living room as I carefully slipped the jersey over my head.

I pulled it over my head and gently folded it, and placing it on the ottoman that was in my hallway. I cleared my throat and turned to see Jamie watching me intently.

"What?" I asked with a small smile.

He didn't even try to hide the fact that I caught him looking at me, his smile grew and he shrugged lightly, "You're beautiful, Josie."

My face went hot and I shook my head a little, "You flatter me," I said with a small smirk.

He smiled at me and moved closer, making me take a couple steps back until I was leaning against the wall next to the door.

"You know how much you mean to me, right?" he asked me, placing his hands on each side of my face softly.

I nodded a little and reached out to grip the front of his suit jacket, "You mean that much to me too, Jamie," I whispered.

A smile flickered across his face before he leaned down and kissed me softly. I pulled him closer to me and deepened the kiss a bit, his hands trailed down from my face, down my sides and rested at my hips, squeezing them. I lifted my arms up to wrap around his neck to hold him tight to me.

He had me pinned up against the wall where our kiss was intensifying. I ran my hand through his hair, gently pulling at it and scratching his scalp. My groaned and pulled away from my lips and went to my neck, pushing my hair to the other side where he began kissing and biting my skin. I moaned and moved my head to give him more access.

He moved back to my lips and we continued to kiss, but they were slow sweet ones. I pulled away from him with one final peck and looked up at him with a small smile.

"Sorry," I said, "Didn't mean for it to go that far," I said shyly.

"I didn't mind," he said with a wink, hands still on my hips.

I laughed and smiled up at him, "Come on," I said, pulling one of his hands off me and lacing our fingers together, "I'll give you to the tour," I said, pushing him away from the wall and leading him further into the apartment.

I showed him my small apartment within a couple minutes, before we ended up on the couch in the living room where I turned on my Xbox and went to my Netflix.

"Aren't you uncomfortable?" I asked him as I turned The Avengers on.

He laughed and shrugged looking down at his suit, he had taken off his jacket and tie and unbuttoned a couple of the top buttons on his shirt, "I'm alright," he said nonchalantly.

"I'd offer you something, but all I have is girl stuff," I said apologetically.

"That's alright," he said, resting an arm around my shoulder, "thank-you anyways."

I smiled and looked towards the T.V and watched the movie, we were silent for about twenty minutes before Jamie spoke up.

"Are we gonna talk about that?" he asked me.

My heart sped up as I looked at him, "About the hall?" I asked, trying to give myself a couple extra seconds.

He nodded quickly. I bit my lip and looked at the T.V again.

"Jamie..." I drawled out, "I'm not...there yet. I just...really, really wanted to kiss you. Especially since you're gonna be gone for a while."

I looked back at him and saw him smiling sadly at me, "Okay," he said quietly.

"I'm sorry," I told him, turning so I was sitting facing him, "I want this, I told you that. My heart wants it...but my mind is in the way, ya know? Every time I've gone with my heart right off the bat I've gotten hurt really bad."

"I'm not going to hurt you," he interjected.

I smiled a little, "I know, I don't think you would. But, I promised myself that I would be really smart next time. I want to know every single thing about you, Jamie," I told him, putting a hand on his thigh; "I need to make sure that there isn't a question in my mind about you. About us."

He tilted his head and looked at me, "What are you still questioning?"

I looked down, "I just...it's not that I'm questioning your intentions or shit like that. I'm questioning if it would work out...you being gone for a few days here, a week there or two. I just wanna make sure that we could make it all work."

He nodded while I was talking, "Okay," he said simply.

"If you don't want to wait for me anymore, Jamie," I said, suddenly feeling sad, "I understand. I know it's hard for you too."

"What?" he asked, shocked, "Oh, I'm gonna wait, Josie. Because I know you're everything that I want. I've dreamed up my dream girl a million times and you're a billion times better than she ever was. I want to be with you, but I want to make sure that you're ready, Josie. I know that I'm ready. I wanna do this, I wanna be with you. Just you. But if you're questioning it, I don't want you to do something without thinking it through."

I leaned my head against the back of the couch and grinned at him, "Thank-you," I said with a sigh, "I don't want you to think that I don't want this, that I don't want to be with you or something. I do, really I do. I just need that time is all."

He grabbed my hand and squeezed it, "Don't explain it," he said simply, "I get it, and I'm okay with it!"

I smiled and turned my head back to the movie.

We watched the movie is semi-silence. We would talk and joke around during it before the credits started to roll and Jamie got up, with me following behind him.

"Have a safe trip," I told him as I walked him to the door.

He smiled down at me, "Don't you do anything crazy while I'm gone."

"I'll try," I smiled with a roll of my eyes.

"I'll miss you," he said, gripping my waist.

"I'll miss you too, Hockey Star," I said, placing my hands on his shoulders.

He leaned down and kissed me quickly, "I'll text you when I get home, okay?" he said when we broke apart.

I nodded, "Okay," I said softly.

He smiled and let go of me before turning around and opening my apartment door. We smiled a little sadly back at each other before he left, closing the door gently behind him. I reached forward and locked the door quickly before forcing myself to go back to the couch and plopping down sadly.

I groaned and threw my head backwards looking up at the ceiling, "Why is this so hard?" I groaned.

I sighed and picked my phone up from the coffee table and scrolled through the photos that Jamie and I had just taken. I smiled as I scrolled through them, laughing at some of the goofy faces that he made for some of them. And feeling myself melt a little when I saw the way he looked at me in a couple of them. There was something there in his eyes, and I didn't know what it was. But there was a glimmer of something in there and that alone made my body feel electric.

I went to my contacts and scrolled to Callie's phone number and dialed it, knowing she'd be up even though it was 11:30pm there.

"Hey, Jo," she said after a couple of rings.

"Callie," I whined.

She laughed on the other end of the line, "Romantical problems?" she said suggestively.

Callie had been in my life since I was almost 9 years old. She had been the only motherly figure that I remembered since my mom passed when I was so young. Callie had been in my life for the majority of my life, and had done a good job with raising us with my dad. I had always appreciated her being with my dad and not trying to force herself into the mom role to me and Eric.

She was 23 when she married my dad and 24 when she had Eve. She wasn't too much older than me, so she had always felt like a friend to me as I got older. I always enjoyed spending time with her, and she was always the one I went to about personal problem.

I groaned and laid on the couch, "I wanna be with him," I told her.

"Jaime?" she asked me.

"Yeah," I said with a nod.

"So why aren't you?" she asked me.

"I'm afraid," I admitted to her.

"Josie," she cooed, "he sounds like a really good guy. You can't let your past dictate what you're future is going to be like, okay? I know those other asshole broke your heart, but that doesn't mean that he's going to. You have to let yourself experience it, I know you want to."

"I really do," I told her honestly, "what if it doesn't work because he's gone so much? I don't know who he meets while he's gone. Maybe he's been hooking up with girls on the road, I don't know, Callie!"

"Do you really think he'd hook up with some other girls while he's got you?" she asked me.

"I hope not," I said with a shrug, "but I really do wanna be with him, I'm just so God Damn afraid."

I heard her chuckle on the other end, "I know, sweet girl. But you can't, absolutely can't let that fear dictate you. You have to punch that fear in the face and tell it to fuck right off, because it's your life, and you're gonna live it, Josie."

"You're always so wise," I said with a small smile.

She laughed, "Raising seven kids has made me that way."

I giggled, "I'll let you get some sleep Callie."

She sighed, "Sleep well, Jo. I'll talk to you in the tomorrow. Love you."

"Love you too," I said before disconnecting the call.

I got up slowly and made my way to my room. I got changed and laid in bed. Pondering my life.

I wanted to be with Jamie, that wasn't a secret to anyone. But, the question was...how long do I hold out? Would my heart finally tell my mind to get in the game and step up? Or would I wait too long that Jamie does eventually get tired of waiting and meets someone that actually gets their shit together.

I wanted to call him so badly and tell him to turn around and come back and tell him that I was ready. That that's what I wanted.

But I wasn't ready! What if something changed? What if I couldn’t handle the long distance? There were a million what if's and that freaked me out.

I just wanted to be happy.

Notes

Thank-you for reading!!!! Please let me know what you all think!!!

I was thinking of doing another chapter, or part of a chapter in Jamie's POV like I did in the beginning of the first chapter. Is that something y'all would like, or no? Let me know!!!