Love knows not distance; it hath no continent; its eyes are for the stars - Gilbert Parker

I was waiting uncomfortably outside of the guys’ locker room with the girlfriends and wives and some of the kids. We were silent out there. The boys had just lost to Winnipeg 4-0 and we knew they were pissed about it. In the last period alone the Stars had three penalties, and throughout the whole game Jamie had taken 2 penalties and had gotten into a couple fights as well.

I had sat at the glass again with Jessica and watched it all happen. By the end of the game the guys had just gotten mad and irritated. When the game finally ended the boys were gone quicker than I had ever seen.

Jess and I had made our way to the hallways to get to their locker room where we stood against the wall. We heard shouts and yelling from within sounding like it was coming from Coach.

Finally the boys started to filter out slowly, they weren't even stopping they would just walk out and the girls would follow behind. I had been waiting for almost an extra hour after the game and it was just me and Jess waiting. Finally the door opened and Jordie walked out sullenly, he looked at Jess and started walking towards the doors away from me.

"He'll be out soon," he said lowly with his back facing me.

I stood still with a wide eyed look on my face, Jessica looked at me and shot me a small awkward smile and waved before running to catch up with her boyfriend. The door opened again and Tyler came out followed by Jamie.

"Hey," Tyler said before hugging me quickly, which I returned.

"Hey," I said when we pulled apart, "I'm really sorry," I told him.

He sighed and nodded, "I'll see you later," he said quickly before walking away from me and Jamie, not giving me a second to respond to him.

I bit the inside of my cheek and looked at Jamie who was looking down at the ground, "Ready?" he asked me briskly.

Without waiting he started walking towards the doors that would lead to the players parking area. We walked in silence. Got in the car in silence. Drove in silence all the way to his house.

We finally pulled up and he got up and slammed the door behind me making me cringe as I got out and followed him inside.

He walked right into the kitchen and opened the fridge, pulling out two beers and silently handed one to me which I took and opened the bottle.

"Jamie," I started.

He shook his head, "I know, we played like shit," he said before walking to his living room.

I followed him, "That's not what I was gonna say."

He sighed and turned the T.V on where TSN was on and showing replays of the Stars game, he took a seat on the couch and I followed suit.

"I think you were," he muttered.

I scoffed, "Well then you don't know me that well. When I have ever said you guys played like shit?"

"Well today would be the day to say it," he said, rolling his eyes.

"Why do you seem to be taking this out on me?" I asked him.

He leaned forward and placed his beer on the table, "I'm not."

"You are!" I said, putting my bottle on the table as well, "You're being short and sassy with me!"

He sat back and laid his head on the back of the couch and closed his eyes, "I'm sorry, Josie," he told me.

I sighed quietly and rested my hand on his thigh, "It's fine, I just didn't want you getting mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you, not at all, honestly. I'm just..." he groaned irritated, "I'm just fucking pissed at the way we played. I'm fucking pissed that we couldn't get the puck into the back of the net. I'm fucking pissed that the defense was shit. I'm pissed that I played like shit. I'm more pissed that you had to watch it all happen."

"Jamie...you guys did the best that you could," I told him.

He looked over at me, "Josie...I'm the Captain of the team. When shit doesn't go our way it calls into question the way I'm running this team. It puts my position into question. When we can’t get the job done, it makes me look like I don't know what I'm doing as the Captain."

"Jamie, you're an amazing Captain, and all of the guys respect you as that! It's not your fault if you don't win a game; you're not the only person on the team!"

He shook his head and licked his lips, "Well, according to Coach, I wasn’t on top of the game tonight and I wasn't showing leadership to the team because I took those penalties and because I got into those fights. So, according to Coach, I fucked up big time tonight."

"You were defending Spezza when he got hit the first time, Jamie, that does show leadership," I said, squeezing his thigh.

He shook his head a little, "Doesn't matter."

"It does!" I countered, "Jamie, you're a great Captain. I don't care what Coach or anyone else says about that. You're amazing, and the guys all respect you."

He looked away from me and up to the ceiling, "It's just hard, Josie," he said quietly, "It's hard having the team on my shoulders, it's...really hard trying to show leadership and have them win. People don't understand how difficult it actually is, knowing that if we have a bad game or a losing streak then that's on me. What is Jamie Benn doing? Doesn't he know how to lead a team to a win?

"It gets overwhelming and frustrating and it stresses me out more than anything. Because I love this city and I love that team and I'm trying my best and that's all I can do! But when we play like garbage then it's all about me. When we play great it's everyone else too.

"Somedays I wonder if they made the right call in making me Captain," he said with a sigh as he continued looking up at the ceiling, "I wonder if they regret it when we're losing. Somedays I....sometimes I wish that they made someone else Captain...just so I could enjoy every game win or loss without worrying about the locker room and everything from Coach.

"I just hate the fact that I get thrown to the wolves when we lose. I'm the one that gets chewed out by Coach and the media when shit doesn't go our way."

"Hey," I said, soothingly, "I'll never throw you to the wolves, Jamie. I think you played with everything you have, and you Captain this team with everything you have too. And they made the perfect decision in making you Captain, Jamie! I think you've brought this team back to life over the last few years, and that's all because of the way you've led this team!

"I think you'll have off games, and maybe it'll be more than one in a row that'll be shitty, but I will always be in your corner. No matter what. I'm gonna cheer you on for as long as you want me there. When people throw you to the wolves, I'm going to be right there with you, because I won't abandon you."

He finally looked back at me with tears in his eyes which made me feel absolutely terrible for him, "Thank-you," he said weakly.

I smiled and leaned over to hug him, he slid his arms around me instantly, gripping me tightly.

"I'm sorry," he told me, but it was muffled a little by my hair.

"It's okay," I told him, absently playing with his hair, "stop putting yourself down all the time, Jamie."

He breathed out a small laugh before pulling away from me, "I'll try," he told me, while wiping at his eyes.

I smiled and pulled him back into me for another hug, his hand slid under the back of my jersey and he rested his warm hands on the bare skin of my back causing me in shiver.

"I'm always gonna want you in my corner, Josie," he said lightly.

I grinned into his neck, "Then I guess that's where I'm gonna be."

We sat like that for a few minutes in the silence, me playing with his hair, and him tracing circles on my skin. And in those few moments, I realized that I cared more about this guy...this man than I ever intended to. I realized that I was falling in love with him. I was falling in love with his charm, his kindness, his loyalty and his vulnerability.

He had opened up to me so much in 5 minutes than he had before. And that meant a lot to me, because I knew how hard it was to open up to people. But him saying how he felt about being Captain and the pressure that was on him at all times...that meant a lot to know that he trusts me with his feelings.

"Short and sassy," he said with a laugh in his voice, "that's the name of your autobiography," he told me.

I laughed and hit his back, which only made him laugh more into my neck.

--
December 11th

Jamie's POV

I knocked on Josie's apartment door and waited for her to open it, which she did a moment later. She was in PJ's and barefooted. She had her large glasses on her green eyes and her long dirty blond hair was piled on the top of her head. She had no makeup on, which was my favourite. She looked sadly at me with a tiny smile on her face.

"Hey," she mumbled.

"Hey," I smiled, as she let me in. I took off my shoes and set them next to her boots as she closed the door behind me, "I'm just gonna change quickly," I said to her.

She nodded at me before walking to her living room. I knew there was something wrong with her and I needed to find out what it was. I went to her bathroom quickly and looked under the sink and grabbed my sweatpants and Dallas Stars shirt. We thought it would be smart to leave some clothes at each other’s house just in case we went to one or the other after a game and wanted some comfortable clothing. I changed quickly, and folded my suit and placed it on her vanity. I left the room and walked to where she was on her couch, watching a T.V show.

I sat down next to me, but she kept her eyes on the screen.

"Congrats on the game," she said quietly, still not looking at me.

"Thanks," I said watching her, "Are you feeling better?" I asked her.

I had tickets for her but she turned them down, saying she wasn't feeling well but that she would watch it from home.

She shrugged lightly, "Hey," I said, taking her hand.

She sighed and looked up at me with tears in her eyes, "What's wrong?" I asked urgently.

She closed her eyes tightly looking down and the tears began coming down her face quickly, "It's nothing," she said, trying to brush it off.

I shook my head, "If it's something that's making you cry, then it's something to me," I explained to her.

She sniffled and opened her eyes to look at me, "It's my mom's birthday today," she said in a whisper.

I felt my eyes widen a little as I looked down at her. I pulled her into me quickly and held her, rubbing her back as I felt the thin material of my shirt get wet from her crying. It must have been extremely hard for her. I couldn't imagine losing my mom at all, never mind when she was only 6. I kept a hold of her until her cries finally started to slow down. She pulled away from me and looked up at me. Her eyes were puffy and red with tears still lingering.

"I'm sorry, Jamie," she said, "I don't mean to put that on you."

"You can put whatever you need to on me," I told her, "if there's something going on that you're having a hard time with, tell me," I urged, "Don't keep things inside until you feel like you're gonna burst. Let me take some of the pain off of you, Josie."

She smiled weakly at me, "You're amazing," she murmured.

"So are you," I told her, then bent down to kiss her forehead.

She sighed deeply, "I never told Zac or David about her birthday," she stated.

I looked at her, confused; "Why not?" she had been with Zac for years and she had never mentioned it? And she had been with David this time last year too.

She shook her head, "At first, I didn't want to burden Zac with it. But then the second year we were together, it was the same as tonight, I was upset and missing her and he didn't bother to ask about why I was sad or upset or anything. But I brushed it off because it was Zac. And then David didn't notice anything, he just went about his day like it was nothing."

"Why are you telling me?" I asked her softly.

"I trust you," she told me, "more than I ever trusted them. Which is nuts because we're not together."

I smiled a little sadly at her as she turned to face the T.V again. I wanted to be with this girl more than anything. I wish that she was ready to be with me, but I wouldn't push her into it. She wanted to make sure there were no questions, so me pushing her probably wouldn’t be the best idea. I just cared so much about her, and I didn't want to spend time not being her boyfriend.

"Thank-you for trusting me," I told her.

She looked back to me and smiled a little, "Thank-you for not giving me a reason to not trust you," she countered.

I kissed her temple and kept my arm around her.

I was in love with her.

Notes

I would love to know your thoughts on this story!! There's still so much more to come!! Let me know!!